Culture “Adolescence” Episode Three: The Incel Wake-Up Call Netflix Gave Women - Mothers of boys and lovers of men: take heed

https://medium.com/fourth-wave/adol...-wake-up-call-netflix-gave-women-dd3123dc1fcf

Netflix recently aired a British crime drama that moved me emotionally as a British mother to a pre-teen boy. It was created in response to the rise in knife crime in the United Kingdom, and, in particular, crimes against women and young girls by those who identify as male.

The BBC has reported that:

"Across England and Wales, excluding Greater Manchester, there were around 50,500 offences involving a sharp instrument recorded in the year ending March 2024. This was 4.4% higher than in 2022/23 and 2.8% lower than in 2019/20" — Knife Crime UK, There's a War Going On (2025)
The writers Jack Thone and Stephan Graham wrote the drama "Adolescence" in response to Incel, Red Pill, Andrew Tate, and Kevin Samuels et al's messages and their influence and role in the murders of Elianne Andam and Ava White, two British schoolgirls murdered by British schoolboys. The questions I was left with once the final credits rolled across my screen were, who is this a message for? Or, who is this a wake-up call for?

After watching the main protagonist — thirteen year old Jamie Miller — placed under the microscope of the Metropolitan Police and a child psychologist, following his arrest for the murder of a thirteen-year-old female classmate, it's episode three that really highlights big questions with deeper analysis and honesty. That's when viewers can see that there's:

  • A message for men about where this "lonely male epidemic" and Incel ideology is leading them personally.
  • A caution or wake-up call for women who are still interested in dating men, even if research and studies confirm that globally this is reducing significantly. Still, there will always be a woman willing to protect men rather than protect herself and other women. It's these women that there is a significant wake-up call for in this series.
Whether or not the young female bullied or teased Jamie, his fate and motivation to harm a female— whether it was at the age of thirteen, or thirty-three — would have always been there. Simply, because he had already been indoctrinated by male influencers who advocate for violence against women and girls, and feel some kind of way because of "women's liberation," and how it has clearly made it harder for men to stake a claim over a woman who may not want anything romantic with them.

Is The Manosphere, Incel, and Red Pill ideology backfiring on adult men, and setting young men up to fail?

My theory around Jamie Miller always being destined to harm a young girl or a woman (as he matured into adulthood) is based on his own viewpoint of women and relationships, the motivation he had for the murder of his female classmate, and the behaviour he demonstrated towards the female psychologist who assessed him.

Incel ideology is discussed in a recent report by the National Library of Medicine, which states the following in their research:

"A small number of studies have recruited Incels. Results from these studies highlight the nuanced nature of the Incel identity. It is also apparent that Incels suffer from high levels of romantic rejection and a greater degree of depressive and anxious symptoms, insecure attachment, fear of being single, and loneliness." — Sparks B, Zidenberg AM, Olver ME. Involuntary Celibacy: A Review of Incel Ideology and Experiences with Dating, Rejection, and Associated Mental Health and Emotional Sequelae. (2022)
Applying the report's findings to Jamie and his own viewpoints and behaviour, if we remove the fact that he was bullied or teased by a girl, episode three of four demonstrated how his Incel mentality and Red Pill association drove him to murder. It was not because she teased him — it was because she rejected his advances for romance and/or a relationship.

If we look deeper and more critically at the time when Jamie Miller decided it was right to approach his murder victim about a relationship, or was "hoping that she would like me" to use his words, it was after another boy had circulated topless pictures of her. At this point in time, according to Jamie Miller, "no one liked her," so he thought if "he liked her she would like me." He also went on to articulate, "she was weak and in a weak position as no one liked her so I thought I had a chance."

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Photo by Towfiqu barbhuiya on Unsplash
The latter is key here; the question is: if Jamie in his view thought that the best time he would have a chance with a female sexually and romantically was when she was "in a weak position," who else also has this viewpoint? Where did he get it from? The whole of the Manosphere is the only answer. Whether it's the Black or white section of it, men on both sides of the Manosphere praise this "weakened state" of women as being what allows them more access to women.

When we consider where the Red Pill, Incel, and Manosphere ideology is leading men, or in Jamie's case young boys, it's either to more loneliness or prison as per Jamie Miller, it appears their stance on the treatment of women is backfiring on them. Women for sure are not providing these men with more access based on their ideology — women are turning away even more. Hence, we have global dips in marriage and childbirth.

Why the Manosphere and Incels like "women in a weakened state"​

The Manosphere have a general hatred not just for women, but also for the liberation of women. In fact, this is how and why the Manosphere and Incel sub-culture were created, as a response to women's liberation. It's important for women to understand these men blame their inability to attract, retain, and maintain access to certain types of women who they refer to as "modern women" due to:

  • Feminism
  • Women's rights
  • Women's ability to provide for themselves and not need a man
  • Women's overall choice to say "no thanks" to a man she does not find attractive for whatever reason
These are the four main things they attribute to causing "modern women" to be "not living in their true purpose," as they like to say in the Black Manosphere. This demonstrates that for Incel men, regardless of race, the key point in time for them when things were better for them, was when women had no rights; when there were no laws to stop abuse and rape; when women could not work, have a bank account, buy a home, or even say "no" to marriage and dating, or easily obtain a divorce.

It is also apparent that Incels suffer from high levels of romantic rejection and a greater degree of depressive and anxious symptoms, insecure attachment, fear of being single, and loneliness
These Incel men we see on the Internet are not old enough to have lived through this era, yet they deem it when they had "better chances with women." So, in other words, the "weakened state of women," pre-women's rights and liberation, is their preferred era.

Jamie Miller in the crime drama Adolescence thought the same thing. In his thirteen-year-old articulation of this, his female classmate had no right to say "no" to romance, or "no" to anything that he may have wanted from her, especially when she was in a "weakened state," which he described as "no one liked her, so she should have liked me."

In conclusion, it could be argued that Red Pill, Manosphere, and Incel men like women in a "weakened state," as that's when they feel we women will need, like, or want them the most, so it's better for us to be in this state than the state statistics are showing that many women have opted for to be happy, healthy, and live a life not focused on connections with men.

High levels of romantic rejection, and insecure attachment styles

The research into Incel behaviour cited above found that men who are likely to be an Incel also have (insecure) attachment issues when it comes to relationships, display anxious behaviour, and experience high levels of romantic rejection. Looking at Jamie in episode three, he showed all of this.

When the female psychologist confirmed that would be their last session, Jamie's reaction was to freak out about being left, he repeatedly asked "do you like me?"

What this behaviour showed is his insecure and anxious attachment style; it also showed he needed the validation of being liked from a female, even if this female would never be in a position to like him the way he would like due to their massive age difference.

Jamie's anger and rage towards the female psychologist is learned behaviour

In episode three it took the female mental health professional awhile to get to the bottom of Jamie's viewpoint on relationships, treatment of women, and what he sees as masculinity; however, when she did there was a very symbolic moment. It was not what Jamie said, it was a physical action he did. When he flew into a rage and started shouting, he stood above the adult female, and even had the audacity to remain towering over her as she sat down when he had finished his rant. This symbolised how he views a man's and woman's place in the world — male above female.

Even if she was at least twenty years older than he was, he chose to try to exploit his gender (as a thirteen year old boy) by trying to place her in a state of fear as he stood over her, and/or the "weakened state" that Incels and Red Pill swallowers love to have women in. He demonstrated this when he said "boo" and "did I scare you?" which highlighted that he wanted to dominate and rule over a ( grown) woman with fear. The worry here is that this is a thirteen year old boy; imagine when he gets to thirty-three, what he would be capable of.

The message to males from the series

We are very aware of the loneliness epidemic among males; it has been well documented over the last few years, and we know that their chances of dating in the world are significantly reducing as women turn away from men and relationships with them. Is the male response (the Incel, Manosphere, and Red Pill ideology) to their reduced chances with women producing the results males want?

Nope, it's not — women and girls are turning away even more due to the culture they have created for themselves as men, and the violence. In addition, the response from Incel men is just causing younger boys to turn into Incels which will keep the cycle going, causing more loneliness amongst men in the future generations.

Pew Research (2024) found that, "Men are more likely than women to say they want to be parents one day."

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Data screen shot from Pew Research cited
Our World Data confirms that globally the marriage rate is on the decline, it could be argued this is not down to women's liberation as Incel men have perceived it, but down to the lack that men have in dating and relating to women as Psychology Today cited in their research, The Rise of Lonely Single Men (2022).

Clearly if men want these statistics to reverse, for women to actually want to date them, let alone marry them, inward reflection is needed rather than violence against women. In addition, the mindset of Incel men needs a reset. If women are not choosing men or if, according to the Incels, "80% of women are attracted to only 20% of men," then does that not say that 80% of men have work to do in order to be attractive to more women? Incel ideology around violence towards women, and hating "Chad" for being rich, attractive, or less socially awkward, is a very irrational and illogical response to women not wanting to date or have sex with certain men. It's also ruining the future of younger men, who may find themselves in prison for murder due to bad Incel ideology.

The wake-up call for women

There is nothing at all wrong with wanting a relationship with a man — a healthy one. However, for women, Jamie Miller in Adolescence is the future; he is the reality for men who subscribe to Incel and Red Pill mentality, which by the looks of the statistics is millions of men.

The Netflix crime drama is therefore a wake-up call for all women actively dating, and a reality check for the women who side with the Manosphere's insults against women — in particular women who saw clear reasoning in messages from Kevin Samuels' take on "modern women's" deficits.

When we consider where the Red Pill, Incel, and Manosphere ideology is leading men, or in Jamie's case young boys, it's either to more loneliness or prison
While we can do all we can to ensure our sons and young male loved ones don't fall prey to the same online indoctrination Jamie Miller did in Adolescence — we are not here to fix the male adult population, and we are certainly not here to stop defending our liberties and freedom as women as society progresses, or settle for men who "lack," as Psychology Today called it, by lowering the personal standards we have or what we desire in a man or relationship, to stop men from being lonely.

If men want to "go their own way" as one men's movement calls it, allow them. However, you can see clearly that they are unable to do this; they are either killing themselves out of depression over lack of connections with women, or killing us because we don't want a relationship with them.

Our only duty is to look out for each other as adult women, and for the younger women who are tomorrow's victims of young boys like Jamie Miller in Adolescence.

For more stories about the media, the gender wars, and violence against women around the globe, follow
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The way they're trying to reframe an epidemic violent knife/machete crime committed pretty much exclusively by third-world immigrants into an issue of angry young white incels is utterly dystopian. I'm American and therefore ethically obligated to be mostly ignorant of the problems happening in other countries--is this type of knife crime ever committed by ethnic English boys like those in the show? Or are they conflating two totally unrelated issues to fit the preferred narrative?

crimes against women and young girls by those who identify as male.
I have to say, that's the first time I've seen women and girls referred to so plainly while males are "those who identify as..." Usually it's the other way around.

Anyway, an absolutely absurd article.
 
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The way they're trying to reframe an epidemic violent knife/machete crime committed pretty much exclusively by third-world immigrants into an issue of angry young white incels is utterly dystopian.
The UK is a damn lost cause. I thank God everyday for the American Revolution.
crimes against women and young girls by those who identify as male.
FUCKING LOL :lit:
 
The way they are trying to reframe violent knife crime committed pretty much exclusively by third-world immigrants into an issue of angry young white incels is utterly dystopian.
Well that's just not true. Black and minority ethnic people commit disproportionately more knife crime than their numbers would merit, but it's not the majority, let alone "pretty much exclusively". The UK is still a majority white country.
 
There's definitely not an epidemic of incel violence, though. The only British example of this that I can remember is one guy that shot his parents. Regardless of the race there's really no correlation between sad losers online and the uptick of inner city knife crime, so it's weird that media types are so desperate to make that connection.
 
Well that's just not true. Black and minority ethnic people commit disproportionately more knife crime than their numbers would merit, but it's not the majority, let alone "pretty much exclusively". The UK is still a majority white country.
Perhaps it's that the high-profile stories that make it all the way over here are the particularly barbaric ones, and those do seem to follow certain trends. Have there been high-profile incel-motivated attacks like this commited by ethnic Brits? As someone outside the UK, I keep hearing all these horrific stories of knife crime commited by immigrants, and hearing about this show felt like they were trying to redirect the public outrage back toward the more acceptable target of white boys and men. But I'm genuinely curious - I don't doubt that I have a blind spot here and am open to more information.
 
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I have to say, that's the first time I've seen women and girls referred to so plainly while males are "those who identify as..." Usually it's the other way around.

Anyway, an absolutely absurd article.
It stands out because it exposes a glaring self-contradiction in their own worldview the author isn't canny enough to pick up on. On the one hand, gender is simply a social construct and the equipment you have at birth supposedly has no influence on who you are. On the other hand, male violence against women is a serious issue and we need to instill that fact in young boys from a young age. These young boys who aren't defined by their sex, well we have to define them by their sex in order to stop them becoming incels.
 
There's definitely not an epidemic of incel violence, though. The only British example of this that I can remember is one guy that shot his parents. Regardless of the race there's really no correlation between sad losers online and the uptick of inner city knife crime, so it's weird that media types are so desperate to make that connection.
I don't think of it as an epidemic but sort of as a unique reason for things happening that's only grown in recent years.
I think it's retarded to see this show as trying to blame knife crime on white kids, it's really just trying to inform non-online people about what incels are and what they make people think about the world. On an unrelated note the UK has a fucking absurd amount of incels it's crazy
 
An entire article which is from top to bottom, slap full of nonsense, distortion, and propaganda crafted drive whites apart, and cover for degeneration of the once proud United Kingdom.

Pew Research (2024) found that, "Men are more likely than women to say they want to be parents one day."
This to me is the most important line in the article. Women aren't the future of the human species. Only those who wish to raise the people of tomorrow are the future. The question is if enough people will pull their heads from their asses and accept this fact; or as will be the case in the UK, we will regress back to the holding pattern of a medieval warlord's desert religion of conquest. Which will one day stomp women, like the author of this article, into the dust.
 
Perhaps it's that the high-profile stories that make it all the way over here are the particularly barbaric ones, and those do seem to follow certain trends. Have there been high-profile incel-motivated attacks like this commited by ethnic Brits? I'm genuinely curious - I don't doubt that I have a blind spot here and am open to more information.
I don't know if incelism specifically is a problem (I'm skeptical) but the UK has its own population of trashy white people who get up to crime in the north just as the brown kids do down in London.

Like I said, there's definitely an imbalance. The browns get up to more than their fair share of knife crime. It's just a big stretch to assume based on KF reporting that it's so massive as to be the majority. Again, still a majority white country.

Like it's not an incel crime, but there was the Brianna Ghey stabbing. Random trashy white kids.
 
The fact this was talked about in the British Parliament demonstrates that England is not a serious country. This is make believe, while the grooming gangs and high rates of knife crimes are real issues. I fucking hate current society with a passion.
i drew you as the wojack and myself as the chad
OH MY GOD
you're a wojack!
we need to talk about this!
 
The way they're trying to reframe an epidemic violent knife/machete crime committed pretty much exclusively by third-world immigrants into an issue of angry young white incels is utterly dystopian. I'm American and therefore ethically obligated to be mostly ignorant of the problems happening in other countries--is this type of knife crime ever committed by ethnic English boys like those in the show? Or are they conflating two totally unrelated issues to fit the preferred narrative?
I'm literally in an argument with a very stupid brit right now and he just can't believe that more UK kids were stabbed in school than US children have died in school shootings in the last year.

I'm waiting to show him the acid attack stats, but he'll probably block me before I get there.
 
I'm literally in an argument with a very stupid brit right now and he just can't believe that more UK kids were stabbed in school than US children have died in school shootings in the last year.

I'm waiting to show him the acid attack stats, but he'll probably block me before I get there.

Don't waste your time with those people... as Yuri Bezmenov said, there is no amount of facts or statistics that will convince them until they become the victim of the very policies they support.
 
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