minecraft the movie - aka autism the movie; aka stuck in development hell

[SteelPlatedHeart]

You're trolling right? I saw the movie in theaters and the credits ends with Steve meeting Alex.

It was a thing going around online, I’m happy to be wrong.

https://x.com/jayfii_/status/1907930902468112873

 

[Samuel Fuller]

…Sonic appears in an after credits scene through a portal and Jack Black follows after him.

They’re gonna fuck up the Sonic movies with this shit.

What could they do that would be any worse than the Shadow streaming series?

 

[Blackstar]

 

[I was a Teenage “JA”-man]

The reviews are in!

 

[Daddy's Little Kitten]

Brad, aka The Cinema Snob, weights in.

 

[Seafarer]

…Sonic appears in an after credits scene through a portal and Jack Black follows after him.

They’re gonna fuck up the Sonic movies with this shit.

Autism expanded universe. We just need an after credits scene for the next movie where Chris Chan puts on the Sonichu medallion and says “fine, I’ll do it myself “

 

[The Lawgiver]

There's a panoramic photo taken inside the same building and it looks like some kind of apartment complex.

https://maps.app.goo.gl/mDVfAnonn99kjrF9A

View attachment 7175922
View attachment 7175925

There's a floor in the middle that looks more well kept than the other ones, so I assume that's where the outsourced VFX office is. Hard to believe people would just tolerate these conditions but the regular tenets most likely don't have the money for renovations.

Earlier post was right on the money.

that's where they live bro

These people have been living in the minecraft ghetto slaving away on this fucking thing.

 

[AgarthaCrack]

It's allegedly torrentable now. Anyone bit the bullet?

Spoiler: movie preview

This post will be edited when the movie is done uploading.

Download: https://anonymfile.com/AkWpE/aminecraftmovie20251080phdcamdubladoeng.mkv / https://multiup.io/c0fe54a29b9ad2417e326242ba721f7e

 

[Tootsie Bear]

Spoiler: movie preview

View attachment 7176870

This post will be edited when the movie is done uploading.

Is that a Storage Wars parody in 2025? Wow! This feels dated and the movie has just been released. And not in a good way I'll add.

 

[Flaming Carrot]

I'm not a Minecraft player, but my son is, so I just saw it in the theater. It's a basic kid's movie. Lots of dumb jokes and slapstick, which to be fair, Jason Momoa and Jack Black commit 110 percent to. All the other characters are kind of bland, although the bits with Jennifer Coolidge are kind of funny. The effects are better than some of these screenshots, and Sonic does not appear in the movie. There were a bunch of little kids in the audience, and they thought the movie was fantastic and applauded at the end. The teenagers in the audience had memorized Jack Black lines in the trailer and were saying them when Jack Black spoke them in the movie. They also seemed to have a good time, but they brought toy Minecraft swords with them to the theater, so I think they were going to like it no matter what it was.

There are a few funny lines, but overall its underwhelming. Of the kids movies I've seen recently, I thought it was better than Elemental and Despicable Me 4 but not as good as The Good Robot. This will probably do well, as there aren't many kids movies out at the moment, and the game has a huge fanbase.

 

[Buck Breaker]

Mid as shit 10/10

 

[Toxinophile]

Wouldn't you be causing legal issues by uploading it here?

Null already causes enough legal issues by himself. I'm sure this will be fine in comparison. This ain't the offical Minecraft Movie anyways, this is a pre-production version of it.

Are you trying to emoji movie it?

Just trying to compress it enough to fit around 50mb like someone did with the Morbius movie.

So far I've edited it down to ~150mb

Archived for Posterity:

Spoiler: Minecraft pre-production version (144p)

 

[AgarthaCrack]

TorrentFreak: Unfinished Copy of ‘A Minecraft Movie’ Leaks on Pirate Sites (archive)

This version of the minecraft movie is still available to download on the Internet Archive.

https://anonymfile.com/z8nQj/minecraft-movie-unfinished-leaked-version.mp4
https://anonymfile.com/g3zVn/minecraft-movie-unfinished-leaked-versionia.mp4

 

[ScatmansWorld]

Earlier post was right on the money.

These people have been living in the minecraft ghetto slaving away on this fucking thing.

Is this that "mixed use development" I've heard so much about?

 

[TV's Adam West]

Someone at me when we see sonic.

 

[Walt R Yte]

Absolutely lost my shit when Jack Black said "First we mine, then we craft. Lets Minecraft!"

Who the hell wrote this absolute masterpiece rivaling the likes of shakespeare.

 

[Enig]

This version of the minecraft movie is still available to download on the Internet Archive.

https://anonymfile.com/z8nQj/minecraft-movie-unfinished-leaked-version.mp4
https://anonymfile.com/g3zVn/minecraft-movie-unfinished-leaked-versionia.mp4

Yesterday I grabbed a link claiming to be the workprint and instead I got a camrip made by jeets full of obnoxious watermarking and a weird intro attached on the front, so there's now two different garbage ways of watching the garbage film somehow.
Wait a fucking moment, are you telling me the workprint is jeetified, it looks like a fucking camrip how the fuck

 

[Zertes]

So is the Sonic thing real or not?

 

[neger psykolog]

I'm not a Minecraft player, but my son is, so I just saw it in the theater. It's a basic kid's movie. Lots of dumb jokes and slapstick, which to be fair, Jason Momoa and Jack Black commit 110 percent to. All the other characters are kind of bland, although the bits with Jennifer Coolidge are kind of funny. The effects are better than some of these screenshots, and Sonic does not appear in the movie. There were a bunch of little kids in the audience, and they thought the movie was fantastic and applauded at the end. The teenagers in the audience had memorized Jack Black lines in the trailer and were saying them when Jack Black spoke them in the movie. They also seemed to have a good time, but they brought toy Minecraft swords with them to the theater, so I think they were going to like it no matter what it was.

There are a few funny lines, but overall its underwhelming. Of the kids movies I've seen recently, I thought it was better than Elemental and Despicable Me 4 but not as good as The Good Robot. This will probably do well, as there aren't many kids movies out at the moment, and the game has a huge fanbase.

It probably doesn't help that Minecraft is devoid of personality or anything interesting in the first place. I'm not going to watch the Minecraft movie because it sounds like shit from the get go and I'm not 10 but I remember the Lego movie was really well done and had almost universal appeal - don't see why they couldn't have done the same thing.

I don't even remember who the voice actors were in the Lego movie either.

 

[Brumbletroons]

In case you were interested. Here is where all those pajeets work

It pisses me off to no end that all the big production house VFX studios have been laying off employees at a record rate for the past couple years and thought they could survive by pawning off work to these street-shitters that can barely use any of the software and used to be just designated roto drones (basically just painting out artifacts in the background of a shot, extremely low skill level required).

Big studios like DNEG have been sending over Heads of Department or VFX supervisors to these shithole countries where they've opened a new branch for pennies on the dollar, and expect them to be able to whip these literal 80iq mongoloids into the same quality of artist as westerners that didn't get their degree in a cereal box. Hear a lot of people at these studios complaining as well about the quality of the India branch work being so shit that they either have to spend ages getting them to redo the work or just throw it to some overworked artist in US/London/Montreal to fix.

Just for comparison, the average salary for a US animator at DNEG would be somewhere around the $75k a year range, whereas for their India counterpart that amount is more like $9k. So these brainlets that run the company go "Aha we can hire eight Indian animators for the same price and have them complete more work much faster!". It's just like passing on a mom and pop contractor to come and renovate your house because they're more expensive, and instead going down to niggertown and hiring a gaggle of mouth breathing crackhead retards to do it, then being shocked they steal your TV and shit in your living room.

DNEG are also scum fucks that routinely fuck over their artists, demanding unpaid overtime and cutting peoples wages then threatening to fire them if they refuse to be bent over a barrel: Kirby Item Bounce

There's a floor in the middle that looks more well kept than the other ones, so I assume that's where the outsourced VFX office is. Hard to believe people would just tolerate these conditions but the regular tenets most likely don't have the money for renovations.

Would be willing to give the benefit of the doubt they don't care, go on any subreddit for VFX, game dev, technology, etc. and you'll run into posts from these poo in the loos trying to weasel their way into those industries. Basically the standard in India is so shockingly low that if you're able to use a computer somewhat competently you will be able to get a job (dogshit entry level job but one nonetheless) at a VFX company over there. Once you've got a few years experience pissing off your western clients that have to deal with your incompetent ass you can try getting a work visa for Europe or America and achieve every Indian's dream: getting the fuck out of that shithole country.

The only thing that brings me any amount of joy from this situation is seeing these blahdy bahstads live in literal squalor in an office that's even more desolate than scam call centers.