Alex Hogendorp / Lunar Eclipse Paradox / KermisVoyager1997 / BetterSkatez / Chords of Brazil / Funky the Clown (and many more) - Whiny canuck with TDS, Political flip-flopper, Flat-earther, Fetishistic media encyclopedia, Limbless loli connoisseur, GIANT hypocrite, Raped by fake clowns, Spiritual tranny, Wanna-be skitzocow, Noushintou Hoshi's #1 fan, Betrayed by Kiwi Farms

[DickMain]

“My daddy is REAL SUPER SERIOUS angry at you guys! Better sleep with one eye open!”

Mylo won’t be the only friend you lose after all this, Alex. Enjoy your future. You’re going to be very lonely

His fucking parents are watching the thread

 

[Axiom.]

ALEX'S PARENTS READ HIS THREAD, HOLY SHIT.
PAPA HOGENDORP KNEW.

 

[WelperHelper99]

His fucking parents are watching the thread

"Son, what's a Chris Chan, and why do they keep talking about mother fucking?"

 

[True Boss of this Gym]

Kicked out, or, worse, GROUNDED by Pappen Hogendorp arc when?

 

[Lovely Kin]

You dun goofed when?

 

[Sperg Spectating]

Does Papa Hogendorp know that Grandpa Hogendorp liked to touch Alex's dick when he was little? You should tell your parents about that Alex.

 

[Dead Lion]

Someone wrote a fanfic about Alex in the telegram.

Spoiler: Literature

Alex Hogend was a man of peculiar tastes, a fact well-known in the small town of Ditchwater. On a muggy April evening in 2025, the townsfolk gathered at Marge’s Diner, whispering about Alex’s latest escapade. It had started innocently enough—Alex, a lanky figure with a mop of greasy hair, had been seen loitering near the public restroom at the edge of the park.

“Caught him red-handed,” Old Man Jenkins muttered over his coffee, his rheumy eyes glinting with gossip. “Face-first in the bowl, slurpin’ up dookies like they was chocolate truffles.”

The story went like this: Alex, after a night of cheap whiskey at the Rusty Tap, stumbled into the restroom. The toilet, perpetually clogged thanks to the town’s ancient plumbing, sat there like a porcelain throne of temptation. To Alex, in his bleary haze, the murky water and its unsavory contents looked… inviting. He dropped to his knees, plunged his hands in, and began scooping out what he later swore was “the finest delicacy this side of the Mississippi.”

By morning, word spread faster than a brushfire. Kids giggled behind their hands, and the local pastor added an extra prayer for “lost souls” at Sunday service. Alex, unfazed, leaned against the diner’s counter, wiping his cracked lips with a sleeve. “Y’all don’t know what you’re missin’,” he drawled, grinning with stained teeth. “It’s an acquired taste.”

Marge, flipping pancakes, shot him a look that could curdle milk. “Alex Hogend, you’re a damn fool. Ain’t no one payin’ you to eat shit.”

But Alex wasn’t after money. Some said it was a dare gone wrong; others reckoned he’d lost a bet with the devil himself. The truth? Alex just liked the thrill—the taboo of it all. He’d always been the odd duck, collecting roadkill bones and talking to crows. This was just the next step in his strange evolution.

The town tried to move on. They fixed the toilet, posted a “No Hogend” sign, and hoped he’d find a new hobby. But late at night, when the park was quiet, folks swore they heard splashing—and Alex’s low, satisfied chuckle echoing through the trees.

 

[Sandnigger]

Does Papa Hogendorp know that Grandpa Hogendorp liked to touch Alex's dick when he was little? You should tell your parents about that Alex.

Grandpa probably abused him too.

 

[PaperRoads]

Kicked out, or, worse, GROUNDED by Pappen Hogendorp arc when?

If Alex's parents read this thread, and their first takeaway from it was sperg spectating's pfp and not the fact that their son is a pedophile, then I believe nothing's gonna happen to him.

 

[Gravemind]

"DAAAAAAAAAD, LOOK AT WHAT THEY'RE SAYING ABOUT ME ON KIWI FARMS DOT ST."

 

[DickMain]

I have a question for Papa H: did you not warn your son that if he made that face it would get stuck like that?????

That's parenting 101. Is this the face a mother could love?

 

[Toji Suzuhara]

I hope that Hog Sr. makes an account on here, after all he has to defend his family from those damn farmers who are using his daughter's photo for terribly offensive things

 

[Sperg Spectating]

@Alex Hogendorp I will not remove my profile picture until your dad himself comes onto the farms and tells me to take it down. Does that sound like a deal?

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

Welp, Alex's sister locked down her Facebook just now as I was checking it. Luckily for me, most of the pictures of her weren't even from her Facebook.

 

[Please fucking kill me]

If you're really reading this thread Mr. Hogendorp, I'd like to know why you think it's okay for your son to jerk it to images of mutilated little boys and girls.

 

[Illuminati Order Official]

Objectively false. Blackmail would mean that someone threaten to reveal compromising information about Alex to obtain the confession. What happened here was using socratic method of asking question until the truth was revealed.

 

[DickMain]

thank you @Le Pew
(this one was news to me sorry)

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

Objectively false. Blackmail would mean that someone threaten to reveal compromising information about Alex to obtain the confession. What happened here was using socratic method of asking question until the truth was revealed.

Mylo posted two pieces of evidence that led him to conclude that Alex is a pedophile.

The first was Alex's confession. Let's just pretend that Alex was coerced into saying this and throw it out.

The second was a link to Alex's favorite animes which included many many titles of underage sex, rape, incest, beastiality, and other horrible things. There is no disputing the fact that Alex watches pornographic cartoons depicting children. Nobody forced him to post this list, he did it all on his own.

So go right ahead and claim blackmail, Alex. That doesn't explain the actual child sexual abuse material you posted on your own.

 

[ChromaQuack]

You can unlock shit in MGRR for cutting off the left arms of up to 30 enemies. One of them is a wig. Our guy is a video game protagonist.

Alex hunting down Mexican children and cutting their arms during his four month vacation:

Perplexity doesn’t want to spit out a transcript for whatever reason.

You're going to turn that thing into skynet if you keep making it go through Alex's videos.

 

[Daddy's Angry Juice]

Oh shit I found the audio of his parents finding out about his quadriplegic loli porn fetish.