minecraft the movie - aka autism the movie; aka stuck in development hell

I like some of the practical sets. Those are neat. Dialogue is shit.
Brumbletroons said:
The only thing that brings me any amount of joy from this situation is seeing these blahdy bahstads live in literal squalor in an office that's even more desolate than scam call centers.
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You got replaced by an Indian, weren't you?
 
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Autistic Integrity said:
one i got was
A.Minecraft.Movie.2025.1080p.WORKPRINT.x264-COLLECTiVE
it too has no ads and is pretty good quality but goddamn it is bad sfxwise
even has a SRT with subtitles
screens
View attachment 7178793View attachment 7178794View attachment 7178796View attachment 7178797View attachment 7178798View attachment 7178799View attachment 7178801View attachment 7178803
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AYO WE WUZ CRAFTERZ N SHEEIIIT NIGGA!!!
1743869169798.jpeg
(i'm so fucking tired seeing these ogre sheboons in every faucet of American media)
 
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Doctor of Autism said:
Saw the unfinished full film via camrip and man this movie sure existed. It's really inoffensive stuff that I guess is perfectly meant for the target audience. I at least expected some moments that were so bad that they're funny which came in small bursts with Jason Momoa and Jack Black, but this was otherwise meh.

I do think those that call this the worst film of the year though are out of their minds because The Electric State is far far worse than this.
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just because something isn't hot steaming dogshit doesn't mean it's good. this movie was made entirely by people who have obviously never played minecraft before in their life and at no point was there any genuine joy or love that went into this product. it's honestly much worse than an AI generated slop movie because at least with those you know that people weren't involved in the production of that shit - this has hundreds of people's names attached to it

if being "aimed at children" allows you to justify lowering the bar even further than rock bottom so you can allow a bunch of hollywood jews to crank out even more derivative slop then by all means just don't watch the movie yourself... just let your kids watch it!
 
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Gog & Magog said:
You got replaced by an Indian, weren't you?
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a few months ago i was at the grocery store and there were two middle aged indian men wearing sandals and shorts in like 40 degree weather and they were at the deli fingering all the bread on display like they had legitimately never seen that much food in one place before. meanwhile even the most poverty stricken latino illegal immigrant manages to understand the basic social contract despite not understanding any english whatsoever
 
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Timaeus Testified said:
The phrase "unalive" is now in a high-profile kids' movie
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I saw a man in a wig say this on Tik Tok yesterday too, but I just watched the fun, bad CGI version, and I’m pretty sure the Chungus character actually says to Steve, he’s pretty sorry he’s going to have to ‘annihilate’ him?
It’s during the battle scene in the villagers’ town in the first half.

I enjoyed it, but I liked spotting all the Napoleon Dynamite Easter eggs/nods, as I’ve never played Minecraft, so I had to amuse myself with that.
 
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Just saw the Indian pre-production leak, holy fuck this movie was a slog to get through. They do fuckall nothing with the setting in this film. They go to only 3 (arguably 5) notable locations: The real world (which only shows up in the first act and final end scene), the minecraft world (which features the crew going to a village and woodland mansion), and the Nether (which only Jackblack winds up in), that's it. It's actually almost astonishing how uncreative this film is using Minecraft's IP to tout how "you should be creative and don't let other people make you *not* creative!!". They don't go to the End dimension at all, so I assume if this film does well enough, they're gonna make a sequel that has the Ender Dragon as the actual antagonist.
The Technoblade easter egg was a nice homage, I'll give them that, everything else I do not give a fuck about and hope everyone falls to death in Lava. 11 whole years to come up with a film and this is the best they can do. Just watch the Lego Movie since it's basically what this movie is trying to be but actually good and better.
 
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Bâtard Consanguine said:
My going mainstream it'll be added to the censorship algorithms along with 'kill' and 'murder' it was made to get around. Then an even more infantilized word will propagate. "Watch out, he's going to uh-oh you!"
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Thats literally how the terms “retarded” and “molested” came about.
 
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TrainWreckWatcher said:
How bad we talkin? Is it worth watching the indian leak?
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i kinda watched it. As in left it on while i played vidya. It's more worth watching just to see the shit/incomplete SFX and will give you an idea of how they make these greenscreen adventures of today. Story and script were shit but it had some LE FUNNY VIDYA REFERENCES
 
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Also i noticed the NFO sourced it as Russian workprint
Why would Russia have a workprint?
Sources
│ Video: [RUSSIAN 1XBET WORKPRINT] THX! │
│ Audio: [Retail English 2.0] THX! 1TAMIL! │
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full nfo
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(of course the ascii is ruined on here)
notepad++_AU6zPWBpo0.png
 
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4090 Chad said:
In case you were interested. Here is where all those pajeets work


Notice the giant slum right next to it :story:

View attachment 7174706
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Null said:
that's where they live bro
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This is the address of one of their offices but they don't have any interior pictures on Google Maps.
Their website has interior pics: https://www.dneg.com/location/mumbai
1743884128932.png
1743884138532.png1743884153447.png

They have like 5 or 6 different offices located around India:
1743884176769.png

Funnily enough the Mumbai office is the only one with pictures on the website.

And for whatever it is worth DNEG is originally a British company (they merged with an Indian company in 2014): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DNEG
They've been around for almost 30 years so its not like its some fly by night operation that popped up 3 weeks ago - they also look like they've taken on additional investments.
 
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A.Minecraft.Movie.2025.1080p.WORKPRINT.x264.COLLECTiVE.mp4.png
In regard to Autistic Integrity's post:
Code: 
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├─────────────────────══════════════════════════════════─────────────────────┤
│          RELEASE: [ 04-04-2025 ]  THEATER RELEASE: [ 04-04-2025 ]          │
│                                                                            │
│                       TITLE: [ A Minecraft Movie (2025) ]                  │
│                IMDB: [ https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3566834 ]              │
│                                                                            │
├─═════════════════════────────────────────────────────═════════════════════─┤
│                         Plot:                                              │
│ Four misfits are suddenly pulled through a mysterious portal               │
│ into a bizzare, cubic wonderland that thrives on imagination.              │
│ To get back home, they'll have to master this world while embarking        │
│ on a quest with an unexpected, expert crafter.                             │
│                                                                            │
│                                                                            │
│                                                                            │
│                                                                            │
├────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│                         Video: [RUSSIAN 1XBET WORKPRINT] THX!              │
│                         Audio: [Retail English 2.0] THX! 1TAMIL!           │
└─┐                                                                        ┌─┘
└═══════════════════════──────────────────────────═══════════════════════┘
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┌════════════──────────════════════┐
┌────────────────────┴─════════════════════════════════─┴────────────────────┐
│         ░▒▓██████████████▓▒░ COMMENTS & GREETS ░▒▓██████████████▓▒░        │
├─────────────────────══════════════════════════════════─────────────────────┤
│                                   GREETS:                                  │
│           BONKERS,MrClean,BOTHD,CxN,AMC,Will1869,Snoopy,MTZ                │
│                                                                            │
│                                  COMMENTS:                                 │
│          THIS IS A WORKPRINT! THIS IS NOT A FINAL VERSION OF THE MOVIE!    │
│       Contains unfinished CGI and different songs than the final release.  │
│          Colors have been adjusted.                                        │
│          Retail English audio synced.                                      │
│          Logo and ads have been removed.                                   │
│          English AI SRT Sub Also Added                                     │
│            If You Have Any Cam Audio Or Video Send Me A PM                 │
│            or Email to will1869@protonmail.com or DLManic987@proton.me     │
│                                                                            │
│                                                                            │
│                                                                            │
│                                                                            │
├─┐                                                                        ┌─┤
│ └──────────────────════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┘ │
└──────┬═════════════[     NFO LAYOUT & LOGO BY CxN     ]═════════════┬──────┘
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▒▓████ │                   LAST UPDATED [2-23-2024]                   │ ████▓▒
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Download: https://anonymfile.com/DaXm1/aminecraftmovie20251080pworkprintx264collective.mp4
 
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mindlessobserver said:
So the adults would have a joke.

Anyway, just got back from it. I liked it. It was way better then it had any right to be.
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I am genuinely interested in hearing what your favorite parts were because the only part that got a laugh out of me was when the kid built a propane bomb and bombed the potato chip factory. Any other laughs were me mst3k'ing it with my roommate.
 
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