Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 18 1.3%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.4%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.7%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 3.2%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 18.5%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 197 14.1%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 794 57.0%

  • Total voters
    1,394
One of Jack’s favorite responses to criticism is to compare the critic to his mother. “THX MOM”, “already had one mom, don’t need another”. Jack has alluded to food insecurity, most recently during his boomercon posting where he brings up that he and his family were on food stamps growing up, but by golly they pulled themselves up by their bootstraps. There is also somewhat obscure lore (and I am not sure about the provenance of this) that Jack’s mom would send him to the attic to eat turkey necks. Basically everything about Jack points to mommy issues. Charles doesn’t seem much better, he just channeled it into other pursuits.
Don't forget that the only thing Jack's mom left him as a legacy was a glass Pyrex pan. The one he used in the party cheese salad if I remember correctly.

Jack's mother appeared on camera a few times that I know of, and each time she honestly seemed to detest her son.

Mama Scalfani Probably Hated Jack
  1. Once she was in the supermarket with him, being pushed in a wheelchair by Jack's step-father. I've seen this video a couple times but can't find it now, argh. She was visibly annoyed with him, completely unamused, and asked him to stop filming her but he wouldn't (which he thought was so funny).

  2. Another time was here: Jack filmed a birthday dinner for Tammy at a restaurant called Maggiano's, which was attended by a real who's who of the lore. I'd recommend watching the whole video because it's short and pretty remarkable. You see Garrett and Junior together, which is rare. You see Jack's step-father, whom he calls Dad. A wild Tammy Friend also appears, never to be seen again (probably due to the embarrassment of this encounter).

    And you see Jack antagonizing his mother -- whom he strongly favors in the face -- from the start. She says, "Get me off that" multiple times to him once he reveals he's filming her, he ignores her request, and it only gets worse from there, culminating in Jack filming his mom as she sits at the head of table, pretending to squish her head between his fingers (TS 2:10). He goes, "Squiiiiiish, squish, squish, squish," as she gets more and more upset, so he lies to her by saying he has stopped filming. The children are amused by this, because they're children. The waitress smiles nervously and flees. Tammy Friend starts drinking. Garrett, the only person who calls out what Jack is doing, tells his father he is currently being "retarded" in a hushed tone, and when Jack says no he isn't, Garrett insists, yes, you are.

    Altogether it is 3.6 roentgen on the cringe-o-meter, and the cringe-o-meter only goes that high.

  3. Mama Scalfani also made at least one audio appearance: In a very early Jack, he phones his mother for advice on how to make a tomato salad with olive oil and water (lol). She gives him some measurements but basically, as any mama or nonna or wizened recipe-holder would for a non-baking matter, tells him to eyeball it and not be dumb. She gets annoyed with him in about one minute, a Guinness record for phone calls that begin with a recipe question; Jack mocks her for ... talking? to answer his question? ... by doing the "yapping" thing with his hands; and he proves once again he thinks it gives him personality or makes him interesting when he does not honor someone's explicit request to not put them in a video. (Being an asshole isn't cute or funny. Most people figure this out in their teens. Not Jack.)
Counterpoint: Mama Scalfani Was Also Probably Not A Good Mom

All of that said, I don't think Jack was raised in a loving home. How he and his mother interacted on camera points to that, of course, but it's also hard to ignore how shitty Jack's own parenting was.

It's not a hard and fast rule, but people tend to parent the way they were parented -- it takes a sincere critical thinker to be the opposite of your "model," and Jack is not that. So if his mom raised him the way he raised his sons, then she was hypercritical and excuse-making when it came to her children's behavior; hated it when they expressed opinions that were different from her own; never taught them useful skills (Jack didn't teach Junior how to ride a bike, and has given various reasons [see: lies] as to why he didn't); and was liable to become physically violent.

That combination would give any kid a complex. So for me it's not a coincidence both Jack and Charles turned out the same way. Lords of their own fantasy empires. Always blustering to mask their insecurity. Persecuted members of the intelligentsia.

But the biggest clue Jack's childhood sucked is how insistent he is that it didn't. If you watch enough livestreams, it's inevitable you'll hear him say how "cool" his mom was. I am too lazy to source this right now, but I've read this is something typical of adult children who were raised badly, and that it's especially true for sons and mothers. The sons are almost magnetically drawn to describing their mothers as "nice," for example, even though when prodded by a professional they give details that make it obvious they were poorly parented. It's just that it can feel blasphemous for a man to badmouth his mother, and no one wants to imagine themselves as 'someone who didn't have a happy childhood.'

One example Jack gave to prove he had "such a cool mom" was the tradition she started of putting a cardboard box out on Christmas morning, so she could give away all the gifts her sons didn't like. Maybe that's a cool idea in theory but in practice (IMO) it's somewhere between kind of sad and highly fucked up. Just hard for me not to read that move as preemptively resentful... feels like turning the most special day of the year for kids into an audit session.
 
Too lazy to write up the livestream but Jack just got triggered by someone saying the term "dwarf" is offensive. He's mad because "no one gives a shit" when people said all white men are racist.

He also just claimed that he used to be represented by "the same management company as Epic Meal Time" but that he got rid of them when they "didn't do anything they were supposed to."

Jack drops some lore about his first marriage. He says that on their honeymoon, they were on a ship and got seasick, and when his wife puked he all of a sudden felt better because he was helping her hold a bag of vomit. He ties this into his attempts to mentor smaller content creators, which I think is actually a great metaphor for how he's helped his collaborators.
 
I had an epiphany earlier while reading about wendigos in folklore. I'm convinced that Jack and Guga are possessed by Wendigos, but Jack's is clearly an Algonquin wendigo which is said to be of an endless hunger and a heart made of ice, but crucially for this explanation of his life, lacks wisdom of any kind. Guga, on the other hand, is clearly the host of a wechuge. A wechuge is a similar being of Athabaskan folklore, but while also possessing an insatiable hunger also possesses the wisdom of the ancient spirits.

I think, more than anything, this explains the difference between the two men. After all, they both do absolutely terrible things in the kitchen with expensive tools and sometimes questionable ingredients but because Guga is possessed by a being with ancient wisdom it allows him to actually make edible (and apparently delicious) food where Jack makes the equivalent of pig slop.
Also Guga seems like the kind of guy you could hang out with and just have a good time. You'd also be sure to get some pretty good food in the process.

Fatty on the other hand would be a punishment to spend any time with.

He still is clearly food insecure, and still allegedly just ate straight turkey necks.
He's said on more than one occasion that unless he's full he doesn't feel like he's eaten enough.

In other words he always overeats which is why he considers an entire rotisserie chicken to be a meal.
 
He's a "Christian in name only" or "Cafeteria Christian" that picks and chooses the bits of the bible he likes. He doesn't read it and he just goes by what Hammy and his pastor say.
If only he interprets his scripture the way he does his food.
Without leaving any bits behind.

You should've included the other image too
Full size:
View attachment 7177267View attachment 7177268

Jack backhandedly complimenting Garrett:
View attachment 7177269
That looks revolting.

hanging with Jack tomorrow morning
What's the brand of rope? I need to hang a few wrecking balls.
 
New Cooking with Jack livestream:
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Published: 2025-04-05

Also whenever Jack livestreams he somehow fucks it up and starts a second one, yet he forgets to delete the first one

Thousand yard stare:
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Mini stroke:
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Jack was the stain of the family. Mama Scalfani fed her other sons food, and Jack got the bucket of chicken necks.
Point of order, Jack does not eat until he is full, he eats until it hurts. That's full for Jack.

Jack's mom giving their Christmas gifts away makes a lot of sense. Jack is like a poorly trained dog because he is a poorly trained dog.
 
Jack was the stain of the family. Mama Scalfani fed her other sons food, and Jack got the bucket of chicken necks.
Point of order, Jack does not eat until he is full, he eats until it hurts. That's full for Jack.

Jack's mom giving their Christmas gifts away makes a lot of sense. Jack is like a poorly trained dog because he is a poorly trained dog.
Do we know how tall his brothers are? Fatty himself is under 5'6(I still think closer to 5'4" based on him waddling past that fan at that event he went to). What if Mama Scalfani actually treated him like a runt because he was?
 
Do we know how tall his brothers are? Fatty himself is under 5'6(I still think closer to 5'4" based on him waddling past that fan at that event he went to). What if Mama Scalfani actually treated him like a runt because he was?
He was the milkman's kid and Papa Scalfani treated him poorly so Mama Scalfani just gave him food to shut him up.
 
Point of order, Jack does not eat until he is full, he eats until it hurts. That's full for Jack.
Yeah, Jack thinks that if he isn't stuffed to the point that he is in physical pain and discomfort, he didn't get enough food. That's why he complains about portion size and that's why he eats from sunup to sundown; if his stomach isn't in pain, then he needs to eat. I don't think he has ever even had an actual hunger cue in his adult life, it's just "I feel like I'm about to burst" = gud, and "I can touch my stomach and it not feel solid like a basketball" = bad.

Hell, just looking at the way his gut is constantly straining in his shirts during videos, you can tell that he's already stuffed full.
 
As to the Attic thing, you think the Welfarefani's could afford an attic? It's a riff off Hugo from the Simpsons. Come to think of it, the bucket of chicken necks might be a twist on Hugo's fish head bucket.

But jack does love chicken necks. We've got that on the record.

As to the pain thing, I'll never understand it. The only times I've ever eaten "to the pain" I was miserable from it. I don't get how anyone could enjoy, let alone DEMAND that condition.
 
As to the pain thing, I'll never understand it. The only times I've ever eaten "to the pain" I was miserable from it. I don't get how anyone could enjoy, let alone DEMAND that condition.

You likely lack sufficient element of tragedy in your character: When you have a void in your soul as large as Jack has, you do all you can to fill it (and push it as far as you can) until you inevitably die from it while miserably aware that you still feel empty. If Jack wasn't such a hedonist, naps would be a far less harmful means of avoiding himself. It's also why no dietary restriction outside of being forcibly separated from Tammy and marooned on a desert island could ever work for Jack: His brother does carnivore because he regards food as fuel for his mediocre lifestyle; and eats to live (while likely also being addicted to much more deviant shit than beef). Jack, conversely, lives to eat, and his addiction is reinforced through food being the only vice within reach Tammy is willing to afford him (you would need to have fingers like Pumpkinhead to reach far enough through those fat rolls to digitally penetrate her).



Jack's reality is so bleak and impotent (as a direct consequence of eating himself into a purgatorial state) that he isn't capable of doing more than what we see (restroom abilities presumed meager): Delusion, reinforced by the 21st century ability to publish his particular delusions with a single, working digit barely operating a device he yells into, and having long ago lost the capacity to recognize his EYEFONE as being the abyss itself. Jack epitomizes the current year trappings of the low-functioning narcissist; who reaches out exclusively through showing their ass (and would literally do so, were he a woman).
 
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