Karl Jobst / karljobst / FAQ_GOD / simthreat / approachhernow.com - Albino autist, Spergy speed runner, Pickup predator and Bitch of Mitchell

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:feels:APPROACH HER NOW.com:feels:
This is actually the funniest fucking thing ever, pick up artistry? Fucking lol.
All this nigger had to do was just go "look at this speedrunner, he's cheating, here's how." and just not touch a guy with a reputation for being a litigious faggot. Instead, he gave said faggot his first (and probably only ever.) win. Just truly amazing.
I used to have Jobst's videos in the background when I'd work on stuff, mostly just to have some noise, always figured he sounded like a complete fag but he seemed harmless. I suppose, he still is harmless, just mega retarded, and it's hilarious. :hah:
 
GameFAQ activity going back to the late 90’s.
Do you know which account is his? GameFAQs cows are a special breed lol.
.
There's a selfie thread on Current Events right now. GameFAQs doesn't archive the off-topic boards, so it'll be gone in a few days. It's not interesting or worthy of screenshotting, it's just got your usual mix of shitposting and actual selfies. Some of the users on there... actually aren't bad looking. It's not like Reddit where most of the fucking userbase is obese women, balding soyboys, or troons. Amazin'. Even the one tranny in there looks way better than any of the freaks I've seen on Something Awful.

But what brought me back here to KF was to post about a former mod who posted his selfie. He's a GameFAQs legend, now right about to celebrate his 20th year of membership on the 28th, and one of the most prolific FAQ writers from the early days. In fact, he never even left the site this whole time. According to the karma calculator, as of today, CyricZ has missed all of... 78 days, over the past 20 years. That's it. Just 78 days, out of 7,302. Literally, truly literally, over 98% of his days in the past 20 years of his entire life have seen him log into GameFAQs at some point.



I should say, at least from what I've seen, he's never been hostile or standoffish. I don't think I've ever personally spoken with him, but I have no reason to show him any disrespect. He just seems like a guy who lives on GameFAQs, and isn't going away any time soon. But twenty years of commitment, including being a mod in the earlier years? That's a hell of a lot of time spent on a website that doesn't even pay your bills. But what could this person even look like? Is he mentally sound? Is he autis-



...oh.

I uh, never knew.

That makes sense.
CyricZ, a long-time mod and contributor to GameFAQs. He went from looking like this, in 2002:


to this, in 2020:


Classic CyricZ was nice, modern downy CyricZ is a troon gunt guarder. If I ever find out that he trooned out, I'll post about it in the GameFAQs thread.
.
Otherwise I think I've finally put everything I personally enjoyed about Karly in the thread already
 
This is actually the funniest fucking thing ever, pick up artistry? Fucking lol.
All this nigger had to do was just go "look at this speedrunner, he's cheating, here's how." and just not touch a guy with a reputation for being a litigious faggot. Instead, he gave said faggot his first (and probably only ever.) win. Just truly amazing.
I used to have Jobst's videos in the background when I'd work on stuff, mostly just to have some noise, always figured he sounded like a complete fag but he seemed harmless. I suppose, he still is harmless, just mega retarded, and it's hilarious. :hah:

He had a goldmine going and he absolutely didn‘t need to trash Billy because his most popular videos had nothing to do with him.

His bank account looked like a Donkey Kong Highscore.

Why can‘t people just enjoy the things they have and be grateful to get so lucky in life?
 
He had a goldmine going and he absolutely didn‘t need to trash Billy because his most popular videos had nothing to do with him.

His bank account looked like a Donkey Kong Highscore.

Why can‘t people just enjoy the things they have and be grateful to get so lucky in life?
He could've had all of that, but he became arrogant.

He thought that just because Billy had a horrible record on his trials that this lawsuit would be a slam dunk for him to finally put him down for good. He overestimated how the law may work different in another country, and now we're seeing him go to the five stages of grief, he's in the denial/bargain stage.
 
Do you know which account is his? GameFAQs cows are a special breed lol.
I’m digging through old GameFAQ articles to figure it out.

As of right now no cigar, my money was on two users who wrote around the time but with both no cigar.

First was user Kodos86 (Karl himself was born in 1986) but his email was registered with Adelphia.net which never offered services in ‘straya.

Another was user Outkast but in his WeaponFAQ (A) guess who showed up

>>
I was browsing your faq and i found a few things you should add. Rocket
launchers and grenade launchers are both found on the streets. Timed
mines are found in caverns. Prox. mines are found in depot. Automatic
shotguns are found at the very end of caverns. Grenades are found in every
level, if not, at least facility. Remote mines can be found in control. The
assualt rifle can also be found in caverns. ZMG's can be found in caverns.
D5K's can be found in Depot, control and frigate. Klobbs can be found on
both bunkers. DD44 can be found in dam and train. Quite a lot hey? You
can update if you want, i don't really care. But it will save you
getting other emails.

K Jobst
<<

So no cigar here, no email or username either.
 
As somebody who casually runs some other stuff I've always found it incredibly fucking cringey to have these freakouts. These people can be such weenies.
There's only one I'd really excuse for being a freakout, some dude who got a WR in Super Mario 64 and whose parents seemed to be proud of for a change but the guy was still tearing up before they entered the room so I dunno.
It's extremely hilarious how this heartwarming family moment is occuring and the chat is going "show us your feet you got world record"

More relevant but Karl did make a video on this, somehow stretching it to 15 minutes.
 
I’m digging through old GameFAQ articles to figure it out.

As of right now no cigar, my money was on two users who wrote around the time but with both no cigar.

First was user Kodos86 (Karl himself was born in 1986) but his email was registered with Adelphia.net which never offered services in ‘straya.

Another was user Outkast but in his WeaponFAQ (A) guess who showed up



So no cigar here, no email or username either.
Found it.
Screenshot 2025-04-07 at 16-56-07 GoldenEye 007 - Guide and Walkthrough - Nintendo 64 - By FAQ...png(A)
Screenshot 2025-04-07 at 17-03-20 GameFAQs Community - FAQ_GOD.png(A)
Also has a MySpace with that email.
Screenshot 2025-04-07 at 16-57-17 Home breach.vip.png
Screenshot 2025-04-07 at 17-05-24 Karl Jobst Listen and Stream Free Music Albums New Releases ...png(A)
There's some music on it as well.
Screenshot 2025-04-07 at 17-13-22 Close at Heart by Karl Jobst Song Free Music Listen Now on M...png(A)full.jpg
Can't seem to play or download any of them unfortunately.
 
Found it.
View attachment 7191115(A)
View attachment 7191129(A)
Also has a MySpace with that email.
View attachment 7191118
View attachment 7191138(A)
There's some music on it as well.
View attachment 7191186(A)View attachment 7191190
Can't seem to play or download any of them unfortunately.
Found it as well lol, busy archiving everything.

Screenshot From 2025-04-07 23-35-46.png
In other news he reused his PH username on the-elite,net but their shitty forum does not even have a search function.

TitleLinkArchive

SimCity 3000 – Transportation FAQ​

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/pc/190488-simcity-3000/faqs/26663Niggers blocked archive.is, will try again soon.

Minesweeper – FAQ​

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/pc/562694-minesweeper/faqs/26661https://archive.ph/yXXbZ

Max Payne 2: The Fall of Max Payne – Guide and Walkthrough​

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/pc/561633-max-payne-2-the-fall-of-max-payne/faqs/26357https://archive.ph/JHinh

Deus Ex – Game Script​

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/pc/250533-deus-ex/faqs/51057https://archive.ph/49YJR

Killer Instinct Gold – Jago Guide​

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/n64/197715-killer-instinct-gold/faqs/26660https://archive.ph/qCE6r

GoldenEye 007 – Agent Walkthrough​

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/n64/197462-goldeneye-007/faqs/26658Niggers blocked archive.is, will try again soon.

GoldenEye 007 – 00 Agent Fast Times Guide​

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/n64/197462-goldeneye-007/faqs/26657https://archive.ph/XRlE0

GoldenEye 007 – Guide and Walkthrough​

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/n64/197462-goldeneye-007/faqs/26700https://archive.ph/87xFq

F-Zero X – Guide and Walkthrough​

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/n64/197414-f-zero-x/faqs/26659https://archive.ph/4p2Nw

Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children – Review​

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/psp/920785-final-fantasy-vii-advent-children/reviews/92230https://archive.ph/PGiQb

007: Tomorrow Never Dies – Review​

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/ps/199053-007-tomorrow-never-dies/reviews/8822https://archive.ph/a8ZcL

Zork Nemesis – Review​

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/pc/199405-zork-nemesis/reviews/8424Niggers blocked archive.is, will try again soon.

Wizardry V: Heart of the Maelstrom – Review​

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/pc/577193-wizardry-v-heart-of-the-maelstrom/reviews/8349https://archive.ph/sq1wz

Tomb Raider: Underworld – Review​

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/pc/943493-tomb-raider-underworld/reviews/129973Niggers blocked archive.is, will try again soon.

The Secret of Monkey Island – Review​

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/pc/562681-the-secret-of-monkey-island/reviews/8202https://archive.ph/7g4el

Postal 2 – Review​

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/pc/552892-postal-2/reviews/58943https://archive.ph/TpJ0Y

Morpheus – Review​

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/pc/574844-morpheus/reviews/8411https://archive.ph/RkpZA

Minesweeper – Review​

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/pc/562694-minesweeper/reviews/8178https://archive.ph/cM6ma

Dark Sun: Shattered Lands – Review​

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/pc/564606-dark-sun-shattered-lands/reviews/8343https://archive.ph/YVL8N

Star Wars: Shadows of the Empire – Review​

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/n64/198789-star-wars-shadows-of-the-empire/reviews/6576https://archive.ph/hgtti

International Superstar Soccer 64 – Review​

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/n64/197641-international-superstar-soccer-64/reviews/6578https://archive.ph/pUuDc

GoldenEye 007 – Review​

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/n64/197462-goldeneye-007/reviews/8864https://archive.ph/5NclF

F-Zero X – Review​

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/n64/197414-f-zero-x/reviews/6610https://archive.ph/n7TGa

Diddy Kong Racing – Review​

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/n64/197118-diddy-kong-racing/reviews/6606https://archive.ph/Hvf1m

The Terminator – Review​

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/gamegear/586844-the-terminator/reviews/8310https://archive.ph/nZpSx

Halley Wars – Review​

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/gamegear/586703-halley-wars/reviews/8270https://archive.ph/1t4vg

FAQ's and guides are what you would expect, nothing major. But the revievs get progressively more faggy, going from amazon style reviews to long diatrabes that remind me of Dwight McDonald.
 
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