Warhammer 40k

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As in YouTuber Sargon of Akkad? As in, Lotus Eaters and Sargon of Applebees guy? Why? How?

They were assmad about him so they made him a gang leader crossed with a noise marine or somesuch shit. In typical soycuck fashion they accidentally made him badass as hell.

 

[p1138]

They were assmad about him so they made him a gang leader crossed with a noise marine or somesuch shit. In typical soycuck fashion they accidentally made him badass as hell.

Basically example #674,793,451 of "the left can't meme". Immediately after that came out I heard some people trying to claim it was false and not actually printed in the book, but because no one actually bothers reading Necromunda novels, it's hard to even find a copy to confirm it.

edit: Nvm, found a copy and yeah the dumbshit wrote Sargon of Applebees into 40k.

 

[Judge Holden]

Ok so random 40k theory that came to me while on the shitter.

You know how the Orks have their own unique gestalt psychic WAAAGH wavelength that while linked to muh Warp is effectively (if not completely) unhackable by Chaos and renders the average Ork surprisingly resistant to Chaos corruption? Well I was listening to a mixed lore/theory slop playist and it occurred to me, what if that shit is exactly what the Tau have going for them in their own gayass space commie way?

Basically the Tau Ethereals have since the getgo been dangled as maybe/maybe not psykers who effectively mind control the rest of the species and somehow "inspired" extremely rapid advancements in tech and science by their mere presence, however the lore repeats over and over again that they don't give off any signals of actually being psykers by Human or Eldar standards.

So my little shitter-birthed theory is that by random chance or Eldar/Necron/Zoat/Jokaero design they have their own low level psychic gestalt harnessed by the Ethereal subspecies much like Weirdboyz, that is more of a general "everyone work together for the greater good, you will own nothing and be happy, oh yeah and don't ask questions" buff than the swole gains and specific "go on a giant fucking murder spree lol" vibes of WAAAGH, which is what has allowed them to catch up to the rest of the setting so fast while also not being corrupted or kerbstomped by Warp shit as quickly and painfully as one might expect a naive zero psychic species.

Plus this would actually fucking explain the fact that a straight up Tau goddess exists in the Warp that is seemingly capable of kicking Chaos in the dick and offering tangible protection to the Tau who get stranded there, rather than the handwave of it being because of the relatively tiny number of Tau aligned humans randomly sharting her into existence by praying to the Greater Good for a couple centuries tops. Think of it as a mix between Gork/Mork and an Imperial Living Saint.

Speaking of which, I am pretty fuckin sure that the Imperial cult and Emprah worship is humanity's nascent version of this hypothetical "racial psychic gestalt" and that the Sororitas are straight up the closest shit humanity in the setting has to Orks given how tangibly they manifest it for killing shit on the regular.

And fuck it, let's beat a dead horse. I never liked the "Imperium are bad guys and fascists" bullshit. Yeah, it's a fun hypothetical or one off interpretation. But it really gets away from the spirit of the faction imo.

I have probably said it before, but frankly for me the setting works best when you look at it from the mindset of "each faction is insane/evil in their own unique way....and each faction has extremely fucking good reason to be like this and has learned from bitter experience not to rock the boat"

Sure the Imperium is an authoritarian and superstitious shithole, but given just how fucked the universe is and how many nightmare hell wars they are fighting in any given microsecond against external threats, internal threats, and an ever growing ensemble of extra dimensional lovecraftian fuckers, their policies of fanatically squeezing every last drop of resource from the masses while enforcing ultra draconian tyranny and allowing all manner of lower level inefficiencies and corruptions to fester and having an extreme "kill everything in sight first, then kill the nigger who asks questions later" attitude are by far lesser evils compared to risking shit falling apart, given just what kind of monsters would have free reign to enact a figurative and/or literal rape train on every single human world should the Imperium be seriously weakened through the front lines breaking or through internal division and mutiny or even through some random warp/xenos corruption metastasizing because Inquisitor Obama Shylock Trudeau decided it would be a little excessive to phosphex bomb the local orphanage after Death Guard Captain Poo'gor the Stinky laid a sentient turd on its front doorstep.

EDIT:

Yes


Because he's a turbo faggot



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Nigga how could you leave out the most important fact?

The turbo faggot wrote evil hatemonger "Sarkon Aggad" to be effortlessly slaughtered by a stunningly brave and sexy they/them troon.

Check muh pronouns in the excerpts you linked.

 

[Sargon's wife's son]

And fuck it, let's beat a dead horse. I never liked the "Imperium are bad guys and fascists" bullshit. Yeah, it's a fun hypothetical or one off interpretation. But it really gets away from the spirit of the faction imo.

One problem with that Rick Priestley the original creator whose words matter much more than the homosexual currently ruining 40K literally said that most of the imperiums actions or 100 per cent justified because of the world they find themselves in and no it was never meant as satire of anything

 

[Humble Architect]

One problem with that Rick Priestley the original creator whose words matter much more than the homosexual currently ruining 40K literally said that most of the imperiums actions or 100 per cent justified because of the world they find themselves in and no it was never meant as satire of anything

This is hilariously true.

Chaos is literally more infectious than the Flood from Halo, it contaminates everything it touches, there is no cure once tainted and it doesn’t discriminate. Short of letting the Necrons build Pariah sites or giving every heretic a Make-A-Wish visit to the Emperor, there is no “cure” aside from sweet, blessed promethium.

The Imperium has every reason to be as twitchy as they are, they are still, ten thousand years later recovering from a war where half the Imperium went off the fucking rails and is by and large still out there, very eager for payback.

 

[Mr Clark]

Id have stronger opinions on bad authors if Black Library ACTUALLY PRINTED THEIR SHIT.

Path of Dark Eldar is like $400 because out of print. Black Legion and Talon of Horus same kind of deal. Most of the HH series is unavilable in physical form.

Theres probs another 10 or so books I'd read if i could buy it. But good luck finding a copy or convincing GW to actually print shit.

 

[Muad'Dick]

Mini rant, but something I've learned over years of trying to get into Battletech/Mechwarrior after hearing decades of nostalgic praise followed by constant bitching, is that wargames of the 80s and 90s made a loose, bare-bones setting to justify infinite tabletop games where your guys and other players guys can co-exist without destroying canon. Then so many novels meant to inspire more toy soldier games grew and grew until it became an impenetrable mess where continuity lawyers will sperg out because in novel 539 on page 75 clearly states that green lenses on scopes don't exist so your army is invalid.

Yup. You make a framework for people to create their own lore around it. You kind of have it in 40K with the original space marine legions being archetypes and further chapters being derivatives, but there is layer upon layer of bollocks and baggage at this point.

I don't mind strict adherence to the lore/history when its applicable. Like historicals (play Heres The Ruckus, its based). 30K does a good job of gatekeeping itself from most of the bollocks in 40K, which is what attracted me to it in the first place.

There have been some banger games that have come out fairly recently where they have given players just enough meat on the bones to garner interest, but enough leeway that the spergery is kept to a minimum. Prime examples of this are Stargrave, The Doomed, A War Transformed and Kill Sample Process. The Doomed is a really good example of this. In the book you're given an overview of the world that the game takes place in, and a flavour for each faction with regards to the rough kind of models to use/direction to take your kitbashing. Its a pretty rules-lite game, but it plays well. Where it shines is giving you some inspiration to create a thematic squad from scratch over the course of a few days and then spend a weekend having back-to-back games with them.

 

[Spilled Spaghett]

And then apocalypse games? Most people will never play an apocalypse game and even when GW has tried to promote apocalypse, it still fails because most people either don't have the model counts, the space, or the time for that shit.

Maybe GW should make a smaller scale version of the game to represent larger battles. A single model could represent a whole unit so people don't need a massive table to play. That would be Epic.

 

[Sargon's wife's son]

The Imperium has every reason to be as twitchy as they are, they are still, ten thousand years later recovering from a war where half the Imperium went off the fucking rails and is by and large still out there, very eager for payback.

Sephanat the heretic or the xeno.
Purged the heretic kill xeno kill the mutant

 

[Obnoxious Asshole]

Maybe GW should make a smaller scale version of the game to represent larger battles. A single model could represent a whole unit so people don't need a massive table to play. That would be Epic.

No, Epic was NOT epic to play. It was a mess. And God-Emperor forbid you played a Titan. Imperator Titans had charsheets so complicated you needed a college degree to manage it.

 

[p1138]

Maybe GW should make a smaller scale version of the game to represent larger battles. A single model could represent a whole unit so people don't need a massive table to play. That would be Epic.

Yeah that really would be epic. Shame it seems like they'd take the easier route due to less models needed to be made and just make it nothing but space marines vs more fucking space marines, and then package everything in a way where an army still costs $500+ easily and still fit in a shoebox, and then make it so unappealing that no one plays it.

 

[Judge Dredd]

Prime examples of this are Stargrave,

I was going to mention Oathmark and Frostgrave in my post, but decided against it. Oathmark is a bit bland in terms of setting so doesn't inspire, but Frostgrave gets army "warband" ideas flowing. Not heard of the other games you mentioned. Might have to give them a look.

GW should make a smaller scale version of the game

I've seen a couple of YT vids about "tiny 40k" where they print 10mm minis and use cm instead of inches to play a full 40k game on a coffee table. I wanted to do something similar with imperialis figures but was talked out of it. You can buy a 10-12mm army for world war 2 games for £20 which would be a whole bolt action army and change for the price of a single tank.

Because of lack of interest, I bought Kill Team, which is a skirmish game, but fits the same criteria of 40k in a small space.

that the Sororitas are straight up the closest shit humanity in the setting has to Orks given how tangibly they manifest it for killing shit on the regular.

That also fixes the plot hole of why Sisters are immune to pylons in Pariah Nexus.


Related to this story autism. I got to thinking. What tone should "my guys" have in 40k? What I mean is, if you subscribe to the idea that 40k is being made more family friendly and is removing the grimdark, then how grimdark should your guys be? Is "these guys formed a stable society but the imperium turns a blind eye because they pay their tithes on time." not grimdark enough? I know that's basically the mechanicum where the imperium turns a blind eye to what is technically heresy because they build all the guns.

 

[Humble Architect]

Related to this story autism. I got to thinking. What tone should "my guys" have in 40k? What I mean is, if you subscribe to the idea that 40k is being made more family friendly and is removing the grimdark, then how grimdark should your guys be? Is "these guys formed a stable society but the imperium turns a blind eye because they pay their tithes on time." not grimdark enough? I know that's basically the mechanicum where the imperium turns a blind eye to what is technically heresy because they build all the guns.

Both

/Mydudes/ are EC by way of Ultras, they love that pocket-empire building game. During the Legion Wars, they found a band of True Sons trying to build a “New Cthonia” on a frozen daemon world and promptly kicked their sand castle, descended, killed everyone and took over, completely desecrating the Horus shrines and finding a gene-seed vault, of Horus stock. Which they naturally sold to the nascent Black Legion in exchange for kindly fucking off.

Now, “New Cthonia” has become “Tor’Majara” and the EC thawed the planet’s vast ice fields and made their own little tropical paradise, except the oceans are full of gargantuan warp-spawn, freed by the thaw, the cultists and surviving Sons of Horus that were underground when the flood happened became mutated water-breathers who violently hate the surface-dwellers and the giant turtles the islands exist on sometimes get temperamental if Slaanesh isn’t being worshipped properly, which necessitates mining operations to lobotomize the immense creatures.

Emperor’s Children who swapped out the Rob Zombie for The Beach Boys.

 

[augment]

Id have stronger opinions on bad authors if Black Library ACTUALLY PRINTED THEIR SHIT.

GW wants to go full-FOMO and if they did second print runs it would spoil that "strategy".
In a sense it's not just them, the entire world has been ravaged by FOMO-maxing marketers.

 

[Snekposter]

Bad batch? Filoni will be writing for the Space Wolves if ever the Disney gravy train does stop, won't he? With a teenage inquisitor with 2 power swords reverse gripped like a dildo?

He would fit right in with GW.

You're out of line, but you're right.

 

[Spilled Spaghett]

GW wants to go full-FOMO and if they did second print runs it would spoil that "strategy".
In a sense it's not just them, the entire world has been ravaged by FOMO-maxing marketers.

FOMO makes me seethe so much, not because of marketers being marketers, but because actual people can't wait to spread their ass and beg to get fucked by companies. Whether it's video games, hobbies, collectables, people love their "rare" shit that is only "rare" because some bigwig marketer decided it is. The nigger cattle can't help but throw their wallets at gacha games, or overpriced sneakers, or rare figures and then want to show off like they did anything but get robbed blind.

 

[Sargon's wife's son]

Also someone needs to tell gw that 25 miles from artillery cannon literally makes absolutely no sense for futuristic technology the Earthshake's rain should be at least 100.
And the max speed of a thunderbolt is slightly slower than modern jets the Thunderbolt should be going at least 12000 miles an hour.

Related to this story autism. I got to thinking. What tone should "my guys" have in 40k? What I mean is, if you subscribe to the idea that 40k is being made more family friendly and is removing the grimdark, then how grimdark should your guys be? Is "these guys formed a stable society but the imperium turns a blind eye because they pay their tithes on time." not grimdark enough? I know that's basically the mechanicum where the imperium turns a blind eye to what is technically heresy because they build all the guns.

My regiment I just say is so out of range of the current administrative that they have their own attached air wings as well as space Marines working directly with them and tighten legions.
But they also have half of the things being breaking down constantly and running out of fuel and ammunition because they've been constantly getting barely enough supply.
Also all imperial orphans immediately taken from any planet they are fighting on to be immediately trained as new guardsmen.

To this end the nickname the orphan regiments.
They also fully definitely didn't steal a star Fortress it that they uses their home base and instead of listening to the ministratum they respond immediately to the closest distressed signals.

It also serves as the base for the attached space marine chapter.
Known as the Imperial Dragons basically salamanders acep they lean a lot more into dragon iconography.

 

[Mr Clark]

FOMO makes me seethe so much, not because of marketers being marketers, but because actual people can't wait to spread their ass and beg to get fucked by companies. Whether it's video games, hobbies, collectables, people love their "rare" shit that is only "rare" because some bigwig marketer decided it is. The nigger cattle can't help but throw their wallets at gacha games, or overpriced sneakers, or rare figures and then want to show off like they did anything but get robbed blind.

I'll admit its kinda me. I feel FOMO with their bundles more than anything. Old eldar combat patrol? Could be a good start to a new project, discontinued. New one? Not as great and has a long life.

Its why I've been umming and ahhing over the Emperor's Children box a few pages back. I could probably get used to their crack fiend look (or put helmets on i guess) but the pressure is applied because the box is best value on a limited time.

The books i dont care for special editions, I just want to hold a book, any book in my hands and they wont give me that.

Normally im patient but GW test my resolve.

 

[daniel day]

so in the same fashion of overpriced garbage, the goblinhobbies guy has put out his "stampin' plates". In a surprise to absolutely nobody, the upgraded "starting kit" is almost 200 dollars:

https://goblinhobbies.com/products/goblin-hobbies-all-in-limited-starter-bundle

but don't fret, the beginners beginners kit is only 50 dollars:

https://goblinhobbies.com/products/goblin-hobbies-stampin-starter-kit

don't you guys want to drop 50 bucks on a Legally Distinct™ Certified Not GW™ decal maker?

As for FOMO - I cant wrap my head around why a company would give a shit about the secondary market. I mean sure it means their products sell out, but if half of your customer base can't even order the fucking thing then what's the point? Made to order makes more sense, it means everyone that wants one will get one, and it gets speculators to fuck off, and makes the actual customer base happy. I can't imagine that scalpers buying everything up will outstrip the profit from real customers, right? Same with MTG - unless either Hasbro or GW has a back alley into the secondary markets and they scalp their own products or something.

 

[demicolon]

ADB is the one person on the whole planet that desperately wanted his dad to molest him.

...keee?