Warhammer 40k

[Humble Architect]

One problem with that Rick Priestley the original creator whose words matter much more than the homosexual currently ruining 40K literally said that most of the imperiums actions or 100 per cent justified because of the world they find themselves in and no it was never meant as satire of anything

This is hilariously true.

Chaos is literally more infectious than the Flood from Halo, it contaminates everything it touches, there is no cure once tainted and it doesn’t discriminate. Short of letting the Necrons build Pariah sites or giving every heretic a Make-A-Wish visit to the Emperor, there is no “cure” aside from sweet, blessed promethium.

The Imperium has every reason to be as twitchy as they are, they are still, ten thousand years later recovering from a war where half the Imperium went off the fucking rails and is by and large still out there, very eager for payback.

 

[Mr Clark]

Id have stronger opinions on bad authors if Black Library ACTUALLY PRINTED THEIR SHIT.

Path of Dark Eldar is like $400 because out of print. Black Legion and Talon of Horus same kind of deal. Most of the HH series is unavilable in physical form.

Theres probs another 10 or so books I'd read if i could buy it. But good luck finding a copy or convincing GW to actually print shit.

 

[Muad'Dick]

Mini rant, but something I've learned over years of trying to get into Battletech/Mechwarrior after hearing decades of nostalgic praise followed by constant bitching, is that wargames of the 80s and 90s made a loose, bare-bones setting to justify infinite tabletop games where your guys and other players guys can co-exist without destroying canon. Then so many novels meant to inspire more toy soldier games grew and grew until it became an impenetrable mess where continuity lawyers will sperg out because in novel 539 on page 75 clearly states that green lenses on scopes don't exist so your army is invalid.

Yup. You make a framework for people to create their own lore around it. You kind of have it in 40K with the original space marine legions being archetypes and further chapters being derivatives, but there is layer upon layer of bollocks and baggage at this point.

I don't mind strict adherence to the lore/history when its applicable. Like historicals (play Heres The Ruckus, its based). 30K does a good job of gatekeeping itself from most of the bollocks in 40K, which is what attracted me to it in the first place.

There have been some banger games that have come out fairly recently where they have given players just enough meat on the bones to garner interest, but enough leeway that the spergery is kept to a minimum. Prime examples of this are Stargrave, The Doomed, A War Transformed and Kill Sample Process. The Doomed is a really good example of this. In the book you're given an overview of the world that the game takes place in, and a flavour for each faction with regards to the rough kind of models to use/direction to take your kitbashing. Its a pretty rules-lite game, but it plays well. Where it shines is giving you some inspiration to create a thematic squad from scratch over the course of a few days and then spend a weekend having back-to-back games with them.

 

[Spilled Spaghett]

And then apocalypse games? Most people will never play an apocalypse game and even when GW has tried to promote apocalypse, it still fails because most people either don't have the model counts, the space, or the time for that shit.

Maybe GW should make a smaller scale version of the game to represent larger battles. A single model could represent a whole unit so people don't need a massive table to play. That would be Epic.

 

[Sargon's wife's son]

The Imperium has every reason to be as twitchy as they are, they are still, ten thousand years later recovering from a war where half the Imperium went off the fucking rails and is by and large still out there, very eager for payback.

Sephanat the heretic or the xeno.
Purged the heretic kill xeno kill the mutant

 

[Obnoxious Asshole]

Maybe GW should make a smaller scale version of the game to represent larger battles. A single model could represent a whole unit so people don't need a massive table to play. That would be Epic.

No, Epic was NOT epic to play. It was a mess. And God-Emperor forbid you played a Titan. Imperator Titans had charsheets so complicated you needed a college degree to manage it.

 

[p1138]

Maybe GW should make a smaller scale version of the game to represent larger battles. A single model could represent a whole unit so people don't need a massive table to play. That would be Epic.

Yeah that really would be epic. Shame it seems like they'd take the easier route due to less models needed to be made and just make it nothing but space marines vs more fucking space marines, and then package everything in a way where an army still costs $500+ easily and still fit in a shoebox, and then make it so unappealing that no one plays it.

 

[Judge Dredd]

Prime examples of this are Stargrave,

I was going to mention Oathmark and Frostgrave in my post, but decided against it. Oathmark is a bit bland in terms of setting so doesn't inspire, but Frostgrave gets army "warband" ideas flowing. Not heard of the other games you mentioned. Might have to give them a look.

GW should make a smaller scale version of the game

I've seen a couple of YT vids about "tiny 40k" where they print 10mm minis and use cm instead of inches to play a full 40k game on a coffee table. I wanted to do something similar with imperialis figures but was talked out of it. You can buy a 10-12mm army for world war 2 games for £20 which would be a whole bolt action army and change for the price of a single tank.

Because of lack of interest, I bought Kill Team, which is a skirmish game, but fits the same criteria of 40k in a small space.

that the Sororitas are straight up the closest shit humanity in the setting has to Orks given how tangibly they manifest it for killing shit on the regular.

That also fixes the plot hole of why Sisters are immune to pylons in Pariah Nexus.


Related to this story autism. I got to thinking. What tone should "my guys" have in 40k? What I mean is, if you subscribe to the idea that 40k is being made more family friendly and is removing the grimdark, then how grimdark should your guys be? Is "these guys formed a stable society but the imperium turns a blind eye because they pay their tithes on time." not grimdark enough? I know that's basically the mechanicum where the imperium turns a blind eye to what is technically heresy because they build all the guns.

 

[Humble Architect]

Related to this story autism. I got to thinking. What tone should "my guys" have in 40k? What I mean is, if you subscribe to the idea that 40k is being made more family friendly and is removing the grimdark, then how grimdark should your guys be? Is "these guys formed a stable society but the imperium turns a blind eye because they pay their tithes on time." not grimdark enough? I know that's basically the mechanicum where the imperium turns a blind eye to what is technically heresy because they build all the guns.

Both

/Mydudes/ are EC by way of Ultras, they love that pocket-empire building game. During the Legion Wars, they found a band of True Sons trying to build a “New Cthonia” on a frozen daemon world and promptly kicked their sand castle, descended, killed everyone and took over, completely desecrating the Horus shrines and finding a gene-seed vault, of Horus stock. Which they naturally sold to the nascent Black Legion in exchange for kindly fucking off.

Now, “New Cthonia” has become “Tor’Majara” and the EC thawed the planet’s vast ice fields and made their own little tropical paradise, except the oceans are full of gargantuan warp-spawn, freed by the thaw, the cultists and surviving Sons of Horus that were underground when the flood happened became mutated water-breathers who violently hate the surface-dwellers and the giant turtles the islands exist on sometimes get temperamental if Slaanesh isn’t being worshipped properly, which necessitates mining operations to lobotomize the immense creatures.

Emperor’s Children who swapped out the Rob Zombie for The Beach Boys.

 

[augment]

Id have stronger opinions on bad authors if Black Library ACTUALLY PRINTED THEIR SHIT.

GW wants to go full-FOMO and if they did second print runs it would spoil that "strategy".
In a sense it's not just them, the entire world has been ravaged by FOMO-maxing marketers.

 

[Snekposter]

Bad batch? Filoni will be writing for the Space Wolves if ever the Disney gravy train does stop, won't he? With a teenage inquisitor with 2 power swords reverse gripped like a dildo?

He would fit right in with GW.

You're out of line, but you're right.

 

[Spilled Spaghett]

GW wants to go full-FOMO and if they did second print runs it would spoil that "strategy".
In a sense it's not just them, the entire world has been ravaged by FOMO-maxing marketers.

FOMO makes me seethe so much, not because of marketers being marketers, but because actual people can't wait to spread their ass and beg to get fucked by companies. Whether it's video games, hobbies, collectables, people love their "rare" shit that is only "rare" because some bigwig marketer decided it is. The nigger cattle can't help but throw their wallets at gacha games, or overpriced sneakers, or rare figures and then want to show off like they did anything but get robbed blind.

 

[Sargon's wife's son]

Also someone needs to tell gw that 25 miles from artillery cannon literally makes absolutely no sense for futuristic technology the Earthshake's rain should be at least 100.
And the max speed of a thunderbolt is slightly slower than modern jets the Thunderbolt should be going at least 12000 miles an hour.

Related to this story autism. I got to thinking. What tone should "my guys" have in 40k? What I mean is, if you subscribe to the idea that 40k is being made more family friendly and is removing the grimdark, then how grimdark should your guys be? Is "these guys formed a stable society but the imperium turns a blind eye because they pay their tithes on time." not grimdark enough? I know that's basically the mechanicum where the imperium turns a blind eye to what is technically heresy because they build all the guns.

My regiment I just say is so out of range of the current administrative that they have their own attached air wings as well as space Marines working directly with them and tighten legions.
But they also have half of the things being breaking down constantly and running out of fuel and ammunition because they've been constantly getting barely enough supply.
Also all imperial orphans immediately taken from any planet they are fighting on to be immediately trained as new guardsmen.

To this end the nickname the orphan regiments.
They also fully definitely didn't steal a star Fortress it that they uses their home base and instead of listening to the ministratum they respond immediately to the closest distressed signals.

It also serves as the base for the attached space marine chapter.
Known as the Imperial Dragons basically salamanders acep they lean a lot more into dragon iconography.

 

[Mr Clark]

FOMO makes me seethe so much, not because of marketers being marketers, but because actual people can't wait to spread their ass and beg to get fucked by companies. Whether it's video games, hobbies, collectables, people love their "rare" shit that is only "rare" because some bigwig marketer decided it is. The nigger cattle can't help but throw their wallets at gacha games, or overpriced sneakers, or rare figures and then want to show off like they did anything but get robbed blind.

I'll admit its kinda me. I feel FOMO with their bundles more than anything. Old eldar combat patrol? Could be a good start to a new project, discontinued. New one? Not as great and has a long life.

Its why I've been umming and ahhing over the Emperor's Children box a few pages back. I could probably get used to their crack fiend look (or put helmets on i guess) but the pressure is applied because the box is best value on a limited time.

The books i dont care for special editions, I just want to hold a book, any book in my hands and they wont give me that.

Normally im patient but GW test my resolve.

 

[daniel day]

so in the same fashion of overpriced garbage, the goblinhobbies guy has put out his "stampin' plates". In a surprise to absolutely nobody, the upgraded "starting kit" is almost 200 dollars:

https://goblinhobbies.com/products/goblin-hobbies-all-in-limited-starter-bundle

but don't fret, the beginners beginners kit is only 50 dollars:

https://goblinhobbies.com/products/goblin-hobbies-stampin-starter-kit

don't you guys want to drop 50 bucks on a Legally Distinct™ Certified Not GW™ decal maker?

As for FOMO - I cant wrap my head around why a company would give a shit about the secondary market. I mean sure it means their products sell out, but if half of your customer base can't even order the fucking thing then what's the point? Made to order makes more sense, it means everyone that wants one will get one, and it gets speculators to fuck off, and makes the actual customer base happy. I can't imagine that scalpers buying everything up will outstrip the profit from real customers, right? Same with MTG - unless either Hasbro or GW has a back alley into the secondary markets and they scalp their own products or something.

 

[demicolon]

ADB is the one person on the whole planet that desperately wanted his dad to molest him.

...keee?

 

[HTTP Error 404]

so in the same fashion of overpriced garbage, the goblinhobbies guy has put out his "stampin' plates". In a surprise to absolutely nobody, the upgraded "starting kit" is almost 200 dollars:

https://goblinhobbies.com/products/goblin-hobbies-all-in-limited-starter-bundle

but don't fret, the beginners beginners kit is only 50 dollars:

https://goblinhobbies.com/products/goblin-hobbies-stampin-starter-kit

don't you guys want to drop 50 bucks on a Legally Distinct™ Certified Not GW™ decal maker?

As for FOMO - I cant wrap my head around why a company would give a shit about the secondary market. I mean sure it means their products sell out, but if half of your customer base can't even order the fucking thing then what's the point? Made to order makes more sense, it means everyone that wants one will get one, and it gets speculators to fuck off, and makes the actual customer base happy. I can't imagine that scalpers buying everything up will outstrip the profit from real customers, right? Same with MTG - unless either Hasbro or GW has a back alley into the secondary markets and they scalp their own products or something.

Poorhammer had a review.

They brought the host's wife on with them because she immediately noticed -- It's literally the same tech as used in fancy salons to do people's nails. Same factory makes them, in fact, based on Poorhammer finding the same form factor of tools only with nail salon type stamps instead of chaos insignias or what have you.

They managed to mess up the demo kit they sent because whoops, you have to be VERY specific with how you treat them -- they used nail polish remover instead of pure acetone, and that absolutely wrecked them. They then tried using the nail salon version and it worked pretty much the same way, ditto using the goblin ones as fingernail stamps. IIRC they even switched from "goblin stamping ink" to nail polish and, surprise surprise, it's the same thing. (There are some very nice nail polish colors, especially metallics, they suggested looking into.)



They added this alert to the pages after poorhammer's review dropped, heh.

The nail salon versions are more expensive than the goblinhobbies ones. Poorhammer suggested waiting until you can get faction specific ones unless you 1. gotta real bad FOMO or 2. have a lot of factions you play.

One observation they had was using a marbling stamp from the nail salon version THEN a goblinhobbies one elevated things a lot, because suddenly it looked like you had painted marbling effects on a mini then freehanded something on top of that.

The starting kit is sold out already btw.

 

[p1138]

The starting kit is sold out already btw.

That's not surprising, but stupid. Clearly it makes more sense to just get the couple plates you actually want when available, rather than buying a bunch of shit you'll never use. But no one ever accused 40k players of being smart with regard to purchases.

But yeah, they confirmed the same shit that I assumed based off of how the product looked previously in this thread. It's nail stamps. Obviously spending $200 just to get your legally distinct chapter logo that isn't quite right would be stupid. Layering a couple stamps to make some heraldry on a pauldron, tilt shield, or whatever makes more sense, including the alphanumeric options in a font you'd actually use for unit numbers or whatever. Hilariously it wasn't even just one of the host's wife that they had try it and figure it out. They had their mother try it and figure it out.

 

[Male Idiot]

You're out of line, but you're right.

Story of my life, friend.

On the topic of lore/tabletop, you run into problems.

There is going to be dissonance because of the setting.

Problem is, you can't fit a real army onto a tabletop unless you get the biggest table in the world because you are Larry Fink.

This makes rise to the question, why can't a galactic empire field more than a few hundred soldiers?

This leads to, they can. But than what is the point of Spesh Mehreens if you can field so much more?

Well akchually space marines aren't just twice as better than IG Joe. They are super duper better so it makes sense to have the expensive psycho warriors.

Well than why isn't my Spesh Mehreen S 10 T 10 W 10? Reee. Thus lore and game diverge.

This happens everywhere except Isekais where you literally get a magic levelup screen pop up when you kill 10 goblins with your smartphone.

 

[demicolon]

Lore/rules dissonance reminds me when in Rogue Trader, SM was a force comprised of human, violent criminals with maybe cybernetics here and there, basically the French Foreign Legion... IN SPAAACE as far as I understood. Certainly they were weak as kittens compared to current SM.

I don't think even lore is that accurate, IG brass would come up with MEQ as in the number of IG grunts required to entertain a single Khornate berserker for a minute or so where he'll stay still and not pay attention to the AF jocks nuking him from the orbit, if SM were living up to the hype.

Same problem happened in Bungie's Myth series: first had Trow which were the fastest units in the game who'd require at least a dozen of berserkers to put down, and even then most of them would be punted into the orbit like it was an even more grimdark Blood Bowl. First time Trow appear there's only one and it's enough to put the fear of God into you.

Second game Trow are on your side, so designers had to up the tension somewhat. Behold... Trow, but he throws exploding skulls at you!

Third game some genius came up with the idea "wouldn't it be cool and scary if Trow had actual armor and weapons?" and it is until you realize that the missions featuring them are fucking retarded and borderline unplayable, so you go for (cheddar) cheese tactics like running circles around them like you're baiting a retarded puppy while your archers plink them to death between naps and smoko breaks.

I don't care much about Star Wars but I find it funny how EU tries to explain stupid shit from the series. Why stormtroopers can't hit the broad side of the barn and wear eye-searingly white combat suits in a forest environment? Certainly not because they're kids movies made to sell plastic garbage.

Ergo: it's either lore accurate or not fun to play.

BONUS:
If primarchs looks like this:

then to be truly worthy of your Spiritual Liege you have to have the psychique of this: