Sweet Baby Inc. and the Steam Curator Group Conspiracy - The company that is responsible for the diarrheic video game writing.

30+GameOvers said:
Remember, game journos can't even get past a simple double-jump "puzzle" in a platforming game's tutorial, so when they call anything "genius level" take it with a heavy pinch of salt. For all you know, they mean Veilguard's puzzles, which are more akin to shoving square shaped objects in square shaped holes.
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The "puzzle" was also attempted by a pigeon and it figured it out FAR earlier than the game journo. I have seen a quadriplegic be able to beat games dimmed too hard and not accessible.
 
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Terror Sandwich said:
Has anyone been following the release of the indie game "Blue Prince"?
This Thrusday the game was release after some very high praises from Journos.
Many Journos called it one of the best puzzle games of all time, a GOTY contender. Compared it to fan favorites like Outer Wilds and Obra Dinn.
The games got 93 on metacritic, and currently has the highest score of the year.

Now that the actual people have played it, the game sits at a "Mostly Positive" 78% on steam.
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So what happened, why such a large discrepancy?
Turns out the developers are from Hollywood and used to make ads for large corpos
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Here is a funny compilation, curtesy of /v/:
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Feels like I could post this at least once a week these days.
F-iWUSsXUAAaOUR.jpg
 
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Right, so I like the art in Blue Prince. At first glance it's made by people who care and I really like the art style. Also, which is odd for [insert current year], it's small and will happily run on a potato.

That said, I don't know if I'll go back to it. I've had a mess about and I really don't care to go back.

It's an overly polished iPad game. It's a Game Pass game (that's how I played it.) This is not worth the £25 they're charging om Steam.

Nothing really grabbed me. Maybe there's a great second act that is triggered by a few puzzles but if you don't grab me at the start I'm not going to waster my time slogging on through your game hoping it gets better.
 
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FedPostalService said:
Right, so I like the art in Blue Prince. At first glance it's made by people who care and I really like the art style. Also, which is odd for [insert current year], it's small and will happily run on a potato.

That said, I don't know if I'll go back to it. I've had a mess about and I really don't care to go back.

It's an overly polished iPad game. It's a Game Pass game (that's how I played it.) This is not worth the £25 they're charging om Steam.

Nothing really grabbed me. Maybe there's a great second act that is triggered by a few puzzles but if you don't grab me at the start I'm not going to waster my time slogging on through your game hoping it gets better.
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That sounds like Vampire game that was shilled to high heaven a few years ago. It was a simple flash game where you chose to walk in a direction and the guy auto-fired as enemies kept coming in incrementally larger numbers. Game journos and youtubers shit their pants over it, all I could think of is "this is just a shittier version of Alien Shooter's Survival mode", Alien Shooter 2 had a much more indepth system all the way back in 2007.

Anyways, my point is that it sounds like an alright little indie game, but nothing special. If it's shilled in any extent by anybody it means the check cleared or these people are genuinely such cultureless cattle they don't know a thing about gaming, ie same people who call everything "Dark Souls of X" since they have no other reference.
 
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Terror Sandwich said:
I fell for the bait and got the game. It's not bad, but it's more like a 6/10 - 7/10.
They advertised it as a genius puzzle game, but it's more like a resource management roguelite. The game is all about trying to get resources to continue exploring the mansion, while praying for RNGesus to get good rooms to progress. IT gets really annoying after some time, and winning is very rng dependent.
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So its not a puzzle game as much as its a gambling game with puzzle elements. Unlike Myst, Outer Wilds, or so forth.
Its just praying you get the right rolls for items to progress.
That's terrible.

Better puzzle riddle game alternative that's styled nicely is Cryptmaster.
 
TrainWreckWatcher said:
So its not a puzzle game as much as its a gambling game with puzzle elements. Unlike Myst, Outer Wilds, or so forth.
Its just praying you get the right rolls for items to progress.
That's terrible.

Better puzzle riddle game alternative that's styled nicely is Cryptmaster.
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But bro, didn't you play Balatro? It's amazing! Not like I have a lot of other references since I don't play games, but it's kind of like Balatro, therefore it's already a GOTY!
Blue Prince is Dark Souls of indie puzzle games, IGN said so!
 
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marvlouslie said:
It really is amazing, isn't it? I mean, the meme isn't wrong. The anti racists are the real racists.
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It's worse than that. You could spend years of your life learning about different histories and cultures to better be racist against them and you'll end up getting out performed by some uneducated soy drinking libtard. They ruined racism.
 
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Incecticyder said:
The "puzzle" was also attempted by a pigeon and it figured it out FAR earlier than the game journo. I have seen a quadriplegic be able to beat games dimmed too hard and not accessible.
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I say with no hyperbole whatsoever that game journalists are sub-human.
I'm not kidding, I sincerely think you have to have something fundamentally wrong with you to become a games journalists. Its like they're Cro-Magnons.
 
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Cactuar King said:
I say with no hyperbole whatsoever that game journalists are sub-human.
I'm not kidding, I sincerely think you have to have something fundamentally wrong with you to become a games journalists. Its like they're Cro-Magnons.
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At this point in time you can drop the game from the journalist part.
like all journalists in MSM are subhuman creatures that are nasty things.
 
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Cactuar King said:
I say with no hyperbole whatsoever that game journalists are sub-human.
I'm not kidding, I sincerely think you have to have something fundamentally wrong with you to become a games journalists. Its like they're Cro-Magnons.
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The exact tipping point happened in the early 2000s when the previous generation of game journalist started to retire.

Prior to this point, the profession of game journalist was almost to a man one of hobbyist first. The people who covered games were, fittingly, gamers themselves, and while you did occasionally see games get reviewed badly or by someone who had, at best, a passing understanding of the content, most of the reviews from this era were pretty damn spot-on. Complete botches like Pit Fighter on SNES happened, just as they do now, but they were fucking excoriated when they happened in this era.

But these pioneers got old and eventually, retired. Time waits for no one.

As the old guard sunset, the companies sought to fill the void with people with actual qualifications, so they were less looking for people who knew the hobby and knew the material and more looking for people with degrees. However, successful journalism students didn't become Game Journalists - the washouts did. People who went through school wanting to cover political activist shit like Michael Moore, only to find out that there's not a hell of a lot of openings available for shit like that - so when inevitably, they wound up in game journalism, they were fucking seething over it. Hence you having a ton of fuckers who hated video games suddenly being paid to write about them. Throw in Obama and the Countering Foreign Propaganda and Disinformation Act, and you have their political 'tism being outright incentivized and subsidized by the government. Then they didn't even need to be successful at it, they could be the dumbest fucks to ever dumbfuck and still get paid until inevitably the money started to dry up.

The old ways still exist. They're still out there, and the rise of indie content creators is testament to this. The fact that some dumbshit like me can run a periodic column like JPATG and have people on this forum actually check it out and enjoy it shows that there's call for it (and I do it to entertain you guys, so that is the reward in and of itself). The current age of Game Journalism is over, nobody takes them seriously, and most realize that they can and should be bullied without consequence.
 
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Oliver Onions said:
So it's day one on Game Pass and Playstation Plus. That's a sure sign to me the devs knew this was a rug pull.
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I had an aunty who would always buy me random puzzle games for the Amiga because puzzle kinda equal educational or something?

Thanks to her I have very found memories of The Fool’s Errand, which I might replay soon, but it does feel like the fine at first but forgettable games that just had their boxes gathering dust after a few days.
 
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Jaimas said:
The exact tipping point happened in the early 2000s when the previous generation of game journalist started to retire.

Prior to this point, the profession of game journalist was almost to a man one of hobbyist first. The people who covered games were, fittingly, gamers themselves, and while you did occasionally see games get reviewed badly or by someone who had, at best, a passing understanding of the content, most of the reviews from this era were pretty damn spot-on. Complete botches like Pit Fighter on SNES happened, just as they do now, but they were fucking excoriated when they happened in this era.

But these pioneers got old and eventually, retired. Time waits for no one.

As the old guard sunset, the companies sought to fill the void with people with actual qualifications, so they were less looking for people who knew the hobby and knew the material and more looking for people with degrees. However, successful journalism students didn't become Game Journalists - the washouts did. People who went through school wanting to cover political activist shit like Michael Moore, only to find out that there's not a hell of a lot of openings available for shit like that - so when inevitably, they wound up in game journalism, they were fucking seething over it. Hence you having a ton of fuckers who hated video games suddenly being paid to write about them. Throw in Obama and the Countering Foreign Propaganda and Disinformation Act, and you have their political 'tism being outright incentivized and subsidized by the government. Then they didn't even need to be successful at it, they could be the dumbest fucks to ever dumbfuck and still get paid until inevitably the money started to dry up.

The old ways still exist. They're still out there, and the rise of indie content creators is testament to this. The fact that some dumbshit like me can run a periodic column like JPATG and have people on this forum actually check it out and enjoy it shows that there's call for it (and I do it to entertain you guys, so that is the reward in and of itself). The current age of Game Journalism is over, nobody takes them seriously, and most realize that they can and should be bullied without consequence.
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Consolevania made a skit about the nu-skool in 2006 or so.
 
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