Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Super Hans v2]

I love how short-lived all of his friendships are. There's nothing wrong with having a small circle of friends or losing contact from time to time. Life happens and friendship is work. The issue is Jack doesn't like or care about anyone.

Reminds me of when Jack went over to his friend Charles's house for dinner. Charles whipped up an easy pasta dinner with charm and joy and obvious basic "feel for a kitchen," and Jack as result sits there with an expression so neutral it almost reads as quiet seething or resentment. A mind like his can't keep friends.

Has Jack's right arm really been dead for more than six years? How has he not had to have to amputated by now?

 

[p1138]

Speaking with, canned vegetables can be alright in some cases like marzano tomatoes for a sauce, but for tacos i wouldn't use any canned stuff at all. Even the fucking beans were canned, if youre gonna make tacos or chilli and you're not gonna cook your beans, then don't make it at all

I think Fatty has made chili without using canned beans maybe once or twice. Even his attempt at winning a chili cook off, the church chili was entirely canned bullshit.

Has Jack's right arm really been dead for more than six years? How has he not had to have to amputated by now?

God wanting it to keep weighing him down like a boat anchor. Unfortunately the real answer is that his arm isn't "dead", the portion of his brain that controlled it is dead. It's not like someone with a spinal injury needs their legs amptutated.

 

[Adamska]

In fairness, canned beans aren't that big a deal IMO; their flavor changes are relatively marginal in my experience and it's much less of a pain in the ass than it would be to soak that shit overnight if you get them dried. Just lightly rinse them of their horrid goo at worse and you're fine. Now I would recommend making your own refried beans however; I never liked whenever I used premades; they just don't come out right.

The sauce is far more inexcusable IMO, since unless you dress it up, it's going to suck. It's just the basic bitch flavors and they do lose intensity due to the process. Just get crushed tomatoes and work that shit in with your spices and mixes you like. I imagine the green chilis do that too to a degree, and that one I am willing to give a pass on, but I will state how it'd be better to just fucking dice them; it's not that hard.

 

[WhoBusTank69]

Yup Jack it's all those babies drinking monster

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Is this hinting at the next episode with him rating energy drinks to give himself autism?

 

[souschef]

In fairness, canned beans aren't that big a deal IMO; their flavor changes are relatively marginal in my experience and it's much less of a pain in the ass than it would be to soak that shit overnight if you get them dried. Just lightly rinse them of their horrid goo at worse and you're fine. Now I would recommend making your own refried beans however; I never liked whenever I used premades; they just don't come out right.

The sauce is far more inexcusable IMO, since unless you dress it up, it's going to suck. It's just the basic bitch flavors and they do lose intensity due to the process. Just get crushed tomatoes and work that shit in with your spices and mixes you like. I imagine the green chilis do that too to a degree, and that one I am willing to give a pass on, but I will state how it'd be better to just fucking dice them; it's not that hard.

At least in my country canned beans are not common. We buy them in sacks and cook em fresh. There's boxed feijoada and it's horrid. Nothing beats fresh beans. Soaking overnight is preferred to get rid of the phytates but you can get away with it with other methods if you can't afford the time, we mostly cook them with pressure cookers anyway

When i made chili i'd not use the pressure cooker, instead would slow cook them with the meat so the flavors meld together for more time, but that method takes far too long

 

[LordofCringe7206 Vol. 2]

The brief friendship (or partnership) between Jack and Charles is a pretty good example of how utterly shit is Jack is with having any kind of friendship. Jack just cant be fucked to think about anyone else but himself and his constant need to eat. People who are around Jack for that long kind of see his nature and its comical that they themselves become highly critical and laugh about the fucktard himself. His friend Joe from back in the CA days had plenty to talk about Jacks shitty behavior as well.

Charles started his channel roughly 5-6 years ago called Fish Hook where he would make videos about fishing, cooking seafood and the sort. He knew Jack and with Jack thinking hes a food and media mogul decides to take Charles under his week and helps with him on his channel. This basically means making Charles take him out to seafood restaurants, have a shitty giveaway and SUSHI WARS. Also notable is that those vids are still up on Charles channel and in classic Jack narc fashion made Charles turn off comments on every video he had a hand in.

The most notable of his videos was a 2019 Fourth of July event where Charles films Jack lurching around in the distance. Its also the same event where he ate all of the frog legs that were for all of the guests, something Charles himself said. So with watching Jack be his best worst self, and tired of having his attempts to take his own channel to make it an extension of his forever gluttony project Charles cut ties with Jack. He stopped making content for awhile but made a brief comeback last year before going on hiatus again. Good guy and he has some solid recipes as well.

Relationships are just commodities for Jack. He needs to be getting something out of it that is beneficial for him. You see how he treats his family members despite outright needing to rely on them for his survival at this point. The only reason I feel he even buddied up with Charles during the Fish Hook days is because he saw it as a vehicle for reigniting his own dwindling popularity and success on YouTube.

Another great example is how he behaved in his infamous Church Chili Cookoff video. He immediately tried kissing ass and pandering to those in charge only to throw a temper tantrum on camera when he realized he couldn't rig the contest in his favor.

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

Yup Jack it's all those babies drinking monster

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Yeah never a hint of autism here until I had a white monster….

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

Has Jack's right arm really been dead for more than six years? How has he not had to have to amputated by now?

God had a great a sense of humor.

That arm hangs limply everyday like the loose tooth of childhood that would simply not detache from its pulp and ligament . It exists to annoy Jack by reminding him that he’s a mono-Mano

 

[Falcon Sebben]

The macaroni is probably just a little on the al dente side. Then seeing Charles graciously tell him, "I think you grabbed too much..." while twirling the same amount of spaghetti (or more) around his fork - something perfectly doable even with one hand - instead of pulling it up nearly 2 feet off the plate like a complete mong. Charles also uses both hands while doing so, likely out of habit and not out of passive aggressiveness. Nice guy.

They're "shirataki noodles" made with konjac. They're rubbery and are literally zero calories as they're 100% fiber. They do have a weird texture and you need to bite them to break them. They're not like normal pasta.

Yup Jack it's all those babies drinking monster

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No there's so much autism because we've expanded what "autism" is. Before kids were misdiagnosed as being ADHD or having juvenile schizophrenia. Autism has been around for a long time now.

 

[AnOminous]

The funny thing is that AI is actually pretty shitty at Biblical topics, but unless you have read the primary sources in their original language(s) and/or are familiar with the history of translation fudging, you probably won’t realize that. So of course Jack, who knows nothing of the religion he claims to believe in fully, thinks AI is a great resource for Bible study.

It's almost like law in that respect, another topic AI is absolute shit at. The levels of hallucination that AI commits on law, philosophy, and religion is out the roof. It literally will make up cases, Scriptural citations, and even entire philosophers.

Only an absolute mental retard like Jack could think it's actually good at Biblical research.

Another Burger Wars has been declared. Now it’s RehRognbin vs Chill-eeeez.

This fucking moron and his "Wars" shit.

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Absolute mental retard got owned again.

What a goddamn drooling idiot.

Moon deniers and flat earthers are the biggest idiots.

I don't even understand how anyone can be that stupid. How the fuck are you that stupid when you can literally fly in a plane and SEE THE CURVATURE OF THE EARTH. There are even easy mountains to climb where you can see it. How is anyone this goddamn dumb?

 

[Marc]

The imaginary stakes never get lower for these low-functioning narc cows: Their delusions and persecution fantasies require perpetual escalation of stakes and implausibility in order to justify the plot progression of the fucking Marvel movie in their head they fancy themselves the protagonist of; with escalations in their rhetoric typically in reaction to some ongoing personal embarrassment or disappointment they're trying to run from. The reason faith gets disparaged as a hypocrite's escapism is because it's the cope of choice for those people we've all observed who buy into their own bullshit (which they always seem to be selling, as well).

Here in reality, gobbling down those shitastic "tacos" Tammy bought the ingredients for is all Jack has - Everything else he boasts of is fucking imaginary, and he has zero reason to document his overeating beyond it affording the daily excuse he apparently requires to overeat as some fucked up reward for moxie or something. The rest of his delusional slop - the unsolicited vlogs, the clueless op-eds, the parasocial relationships with demagogues, the Weekly World News-tier conspiratorial ramblings, etc. - are all just distractions enabling him to run away from the fact that each taco makes him more likely to not be around for the birth of his grandchild.

Jack's fragile, little ego necessitates that others affirm and conform to these particular delusions, despite no one else sharing his particular needs for something that allows him to run away without needing to stand up. It doesn't help that the disgusting fuck has eaten himself to such a state as to reinforce the delusion that X.com and Utoob are his sole outlets for social and political participation (i.e., to inflict himself upon others in a way which still affords him an illusory sense of self-sufficiency and rush of smugness that comes with it).

 

[the khat quaffer]

I don't even understand how anyone can be that stupid. How the fuck are you that stupid when you can literally fly in a plane and SEE THE CURVATURE OF THE EARTH. There are even easy mountains to climb where you can see it. How is anyone this goddamn dumb?

Moon deniers and flat earthers are the biggest idiots.

Everyone's a thug until they get jumped by a flat earther and hear "I'm gonna take you to the edge."

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

No there's so much autism because we've expanded what "autism" is. Before kids were misdiagnosed as being ADHD or having juvenile schizophrenia. Autism has been around for a long time now.

Along with genetics, better testing, and having children later in life.

 

[Puggers]

Yup Jack it's all those babies drinking monster

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Didn't Jack LOVE energy drinks back in the day? Based on his logic maybe that's why Jack Jr. is such a retarded faggot.

 

[Marc]

Didn't Jack LOVE energy drinks back in the day? Based on his logic maybe that's why Jack Jr. is such a retarded faggot.

Jack also attributes his multiple strokes to energy drinks and/or vegetables, depending on how generous he's feeling in applying his vast medical knowledge that day (Jack seems the type to fancy himself a "stroke expert" with an honorary doctorate earned from giving himself so many of them).

Were Junior formally diagnosed as being on the spectrum, Jack would just blame his son for "becoming" autistic through abusing energy drinks; then act ashamed about it in public so everybody could see what what a deeply moral and principled guy he is. Then he would promptly lock down his Xitter and Utoob comments once reality again began to intrude.

On a tenuously related note, there's still time for Jack to die and be reincarnated as his own, special needs grandchild.

 

[Whaler]

Unfortunately the real answer is that his arm isn't "dead", the portion of his brain that controlled it is dead.

It's not dead, it just needs therapy (physical kind) and exercise to regain a lot of the motion he lost. He just refuses to do it because it's less time online and eating meat.

 

[p1138]

It's not dead, it just needs therapy (physical kind) and exercise to regain a lot of the motion he lost. He just refuses to do it because it's less time online and eating meat.

It's been so long at this point he probably couldn't do it anymore, while if he had done it when the doctors originally told him to do so he could have regained at least some use of it.

 

[Aunt Carol]

They're "shirataki noodles" made with konjac. They're rubbery and are literally zero calories as they're 100% fiber. They do have a weird texture and you need to bite them to break them. They're not like normal pasta.

Konjac noodles have a weird taste if they're wet-packed and you don't rinse the hell out of them. Not just for fiber noobs, but especially for fiber-noobs: they're notorious for causing prodigious, foul, paper-plant-smelling gas.

The konjac yam that's used for noodles, jelly candy and yam cakes is the very same konjac whose genus name is Amorphophallus. For the obvious reason.

 

[Whaler]

It's been so long at this point he probably couldn't do it anymore, while if he had done it when the doctors originally told him to do so he could have regained at least some use of it.

As long as he's willing to put in the time and effort, he could regain some use in it. Unless the damage is bad enough that results in amputation, putting in the work will show results. Obviously the sooner you do rehab, the more function and motion you can recover.

 

[myhairisonfire]

Step 1: Buy a fully cooked spiral cut ham

I must shamefully admit I did this for Easter brunch today. I bought the fully cooked spiral cut ham, warmed it in the oven, and glazed it with a homemade glaze.

It was good.