It's really hard to tell whether Nick is being a delusional retard or a manipulative psychopath.
One is moronic and stumbling and accidental, the other is completely intentional... but it often seems like he's doing both at once.
Nick then gloats that the people who told him he was handling things wrong later also said that Nick got a better deal than they expected. Nick claims this is because he was handling things strategically.
He lost his Franks motion, didn't file anything else and ran out of time, didn't convince anyone of his version of events, got sentenced to the maximum that the prosecutors asked for... but he actually won. Because of
his impeccable strategy, no less.
Nick expressed disappointment in the people who couldn't see the "decent guy" underneath the mess going on, saying that a little grace would have gone a long way.
He's not actually appraising his own actions and deciding that he's a "decent guy." He doesn't think that his selfish, hedonistic horseshit is "decent." He just wants to wriggle out of trouble.
He wants forgiveness because it's the
nice thing to do to forgive people, it's socially expected, so you're kind of
supposed to forgive him—so why
haven't you forgiven him already? It kind of seems like
you're being the bad person now.
goes into how he took responsibility for what happened
Liar. Does not deserve explanation.
Nick claims his kids didn't know anything about substance use at all
His constant presence means "they knew me, they knew that I wasn't out to harm them, they weren't exposed to anything under my watch... so when this happened they were just happy that we all got reunited and that mom and dad are healthy and everything ended up okay. We probably have a better relationship now than we ever had."
Of course they knew
something. But Nick wants to believe that he's brilliant, and that his plans to hide what he was doing always worked, so he can never let himself even consider that his kids might have noticed how erratic he became over time, or how neglectful he was, or how filthy their house became.
Just because the kids didn't know exactly what he was doing doesn't mean that he wasn't still
obviously a junkie.
Nick says his situation was bad due to choices he made, but if they were used for good in the long run then they are "just part of the story".
There are no actual consequences. He's not leaving a trail of destruction in his wake, scarring his children, ruining his relationships, and being a fucking
BURDEN on his entire community. No, of course not.
JC has his back, so it's all good. Just water under the bridge. A learning experience, that's all.
Most Christians learn about Jesus dying for their sins and decide,
"wow, I need to try to live the best life that I can in order to be worthy of such an incredible gift."
Nick learned about it and went,
"sweet, I get a free pass to do whatever I want!"
He also blames Aaron for what happened and feels that if it weren't for him, he wouldn't have lost anything.
See, Nick doesn't believe that he did anything wrong. He doesn't care about anyone else around him.
The
only thing that he cares about is that he gets to keep having fun.
There is a version of reality that exists in Nick's head where he always has a fun time, and everything works out great for him, and everyone agrees that he's smart and talented and they love him, and he never has to deal with any consequences. He is chasing that version of reality like a fucking smackhead chasing the dragon.
His real drug isn't cocaine. It's delusion. Getting to lose himself in this other reality.
He's said that his favorite drugs are hallucinogens—probably because they're the best at letting him escape into that other reality.
lmao
The delusion-bunker must be secured.
April
Avril, 
Abril, 
Aprile, 
Aprail, 
Apríla...
Anderson
Andersson, 
Andersen, 
Andersohn, 
Andersdottir...
