Jason Thor Hall / PirateSoftware / Maldavius Figtree / DarkSphere Creations / Maldavius / Thorwich / Witness X / @PotatoSec - Incompetent Furry Programmer, Blizzard Nepo Baby, Lies about almost every thing in his life, Industry Shill, Carried by his father, Hate boner against Ross Scott of Accursed Farms, False Flagger

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Which will happen first?

  • Jason Hall finishes developing his game

    Votes: 33 0.8%
  • YandereDev finishes developing his game

    Votes: 412 9.6%
  • Grummz finishes developing his game

    Votes: 117 2.7%
  • Chris Roberts finishes developing his game

    Votes: 143 3.3%
  • Cold fusion

    Votes: 1,638 38.4%
  • The inevitable heat death of the universe

    Votes: 1,928 45.1%

  • Total voters
    4,271
Here Mald explains how he wrote an e-mail to himself to impress his audience thwarted a massive scam to get 1 ShartBound key from him:
View attachment 7283227
But really, just "scam the shit out of the scammers" (and the 2.5 people who'd maybe want to buy ShartBound, I guess).

Unfortunately, I've not been able to find any funny Mald autism clips, so here's some copeadvice instead:
View attachment 7283276
How he can't get the words out of his mouth fast enough he starts to sound Arabic, he's so gleeful to be able to humblebrag over the smallest feat like identifying spam email.
If he's so passionate about OPSEC why doesn't he open up a Virtual Machine and start going after Indians spam callers, fits his image as an elite hacker more than hoarding store bred hamsters and he could showcase weaknesses in internet securities and why what he did for over 20 years is so important.

He could even make one of his Jannies play the role of a scammer, I often see Youtube shorts of obvious AI voiced exchange between a caller and an Indian and people eat this up. Couldn't be hard to set-up.
 
How he can't get the words out of his mouth fast enough he starts to sound Arabic, he's so gleeful to be able to humblebrag over the smallest feat like identifying spam email.
If he's so passionate about OPSEC why doesn't he open up a Virtual Machine and start going after Indians spam callers, fits his image as an elite hacker more than hoarding store bred hamsters and he could showcase weaknesses in internet securities and why what he did for over 20 years is so important.

He could even make one of his Jannies play the role of a scammer, I often see Youtube shorts of obvious AI voiced exchange between a caller and an Indian and people eat this up. Couldn't be hard to set-up.

It would require him to showcase at least one of the hundreds of skills he claims to master, live. He would be open to more scrutiny than 4chan's codebase and anyone with a cursory understanding in security best practices would be so inspired by his incompetence they would create YouTube channels and learn video editing for the sole purpose to tear him apart publicly.
 
This is like his 9th day streaming blue prince, each streaming for 12-16 hours per day. What is this game about and why does it take like 150+ hours to complete? Isn't it just a puzzle game?
 
This is like his 9th day streaming blue prince, each streaming for 12-16 hours per day. What is this game about and why does it take like 150+ hours to complete? Isn't it just a puzzle game?
It's a secret-hunting game. You can get the actual ending quickly enough, but there's a lot more to find beneath that, and the community still hasn't found everything so he can't just check a guide as he usually does; I'm sure he'll suddenly make some discoveries once more things are found. 150 hours just brings him to what Jason Schreier of all people claims to have spent, and it's not unbelievable for someone currently trying to solve the game - or pretending to do so for clout.
For comparison, FuryForged seems to have streamed about 80 hours of the game so far in his recent Twitch videos and is still going steadily, and he's a Noita autist with thousands of hours of secret hunting in this sort of game; I think he put at least a hundred hours into the Blue Prince demo a year or so ago.
 
This is like his 9th day streaming blue prince, each streaming for 12-16 hours per day. What is this game about and why does it take like 150+ hours to complete? Isn't it just a puzzle game?

It's pretty complex. But he's time blind obviously.

1667615996538519.webp
 
The only reason I can think of, as I've done this as a game dev before, is to use it as a save state button when playing on a debug branch of main on a controller. But the function itself never broke the game, it just saved the state like in emulators.

It's actually impressive he managed to somehow tie in a save state function into manipulating the game's default logic and I can only assume it has something to do with his goddamned global array to track dialogue routes, which are by necessity tied to other logic within the game like scenes and actors.

I'll go as far to posit he accidentally implemented this as a deliberate design choice for complexity (a la "you can hack my game, I've deliberately designed it for you to do so") without realising how the game logic actually interacts in sequence.
Since the patch notes also mention controllers, I would almost put money on him using that as the defense for such bad practice. "I left it in so you--... I can debug the controllers! Insane behavior."

So in gist, his egotistical bullshit about being a professional 20 year game dev/coder has left him with a game thats code is so fundamentally retarded, shit probably breaks left and right every single time he makes the slightest changes.

Jason truly is an artist. "The Muse of Incompetence" would be fitting.
 
Spacebar debacle noting more just mald being mald...

  • Gkicked from wow streamer guild because he is a general asshat.
  • He fled forward "lol im akkcualy a game dev" route and started updating shartbound again (to avoid the Ashes of Creation situation he fled from to wow HC in the first place)...
  • Because he is a slop script kiddie who dose not coded for a year he forget how to handle shartbound spaghetti and he actually DID THE ONLY SMART THING HE EVER DID IN HIS LIFE, updated on the beta branch whit his supper buggy shit (including the spacebar thing). And actually told his audience this WILL BE A SUPPER BUGGY SHIT, to set expectation at the right amount.
  • Almost go away whit it, but Steam shitted in the fan and started tagging abandonedwares.
  • Mald bitched at support "but muh beta branch update".
  • Support said "LMAO go kick rock".
  • From is wounded ego (how dare steam not considering beta branches as update), Mald merged his shit to live branch without a second tough why he put that to the beta at the first place.
End of story.
 
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You'll have to forgive me if this seems a tad offtopic, but I previously mentioned a game called Intravenous and particularly pointed out how Maldavius Figtrees """dynamic lighting""" was basically just an alpha layer sticker, compared to the lighting in intravenous.

But whats funny is the more I look at it, the more hilarious this shit gets. He really does get BTFO by the intravenous dev Roman Glebenkov at every turn so much its comical. So I really hope you don't mind if I share a little

TECH BACKGROUND:
Jason : supposedly worked at blizzard for 7 years. Supposedly worked as a hacker for the govt, FBI challenge coin, ect. Later went into development of his own games. Also lives in america and had nepotism of his father who was an oldhead at blizzard.

Roman : Knew basically nothing at the start. Seemingly self taught. Lives in eastern European country. seemingly No nepotism to assist his career, and his father is something ill get to LATER.

DEMEANOR:
Jason : peevish, braggart, Likes to be the focus, would rather stream and look cool and gain followers. Gets angry, vindictive, and vengeful about criticism. Seems sociopathic. Lazy. Seeing him mad is common. Takes shit too seriously.

Roman : calm, kind sounding, capable of being funny but very able to be collected and level headed. Humble in attitude, earnestly presents his work hoping it will be taken well, hard working. I HAVE NOT seen him get mad. Doesn't take shit too seriously.

Has also called out developrs in general for being entitled cunts (this might be calling out pirate soft?!?! but he doesn't name names)

HOBBIES :
Jason : second life furry rps, his pet ferrets who are unable to call him an asshole, and speaking of asshole, his gnome.

Roman : lifting weights, owns guns, puts his passion into his game dev work. has a cute cat despite being a chad.

GAME DEVELOPMENT:
Jason : has 2 games, champions of breakfast which is a touhou like reskin, and heartbound, an undertale clone One isn't complete. Supposedly a third on the way. First game release was in 2016. Doesn't take it seriously, to the point steam got on his ass about not updating when in early access. Has no publisher. Is starting new shit when old shit isn't finished. Has bad blood from people hes worked with, early access people feeling he abandoned him, and would rather stream than get anything done.

Roman : Has 3 games, Game dev studio, intravenous, intravenous 2. While first game might of been smaller scale, intravenous 1 and 2 were huge endeavors for BASICALLY a single dev with limited experience, First game released in 2018. Takes things very seriously, 2nd intravenous game was dedicated toward and commemorating his (now deceased) father, who died in the making of Intravenous 2. DID NOT let the death hold him back, it pushed him forward. Only early access he had was quite literally letting you use early access WITHIN the game of game dev studio. Got a publisher for intravenous 2. Made intravenous 1 as good as possible with mod support, extra features, touch ups BEFORE he left to begin intravenous 2. Openly said that he dedicated the game to his father, and wanted it to be as good as possible, and failing to do this would be culturally seen like spitting on his grave, so he HAD to do good.

STREAMING AND VIDEOS:
Jason : his entire career and success is youtube and twitch, to the point he neglects his games. Is culty, full of himself, takes things VERY seriously.

Roman: Has a chill channel which he doesn't take too seriously. Would rather focus on his games

REVENUE FROM GAMES:
Jason ; Jason has 2 games. but for simplicity lets look at just 1. His game heartbound in estimated revenue made $708,850 Sourced here. PLEASE NOTE, hes had this out LONGER, is FAMOUS, and has FAR MORE connections

Roman : Has 3 games, but again, focus on just 1. His first game intravenous, which WILL be sold less, currently, since the DLC to remaster it in 2nd engine is cheaper, and BETTER. Estimated revenue is $1,758,800 sourced here

STUDIO STUFF:
Jason : a cheap flash type shooter with goofyness as its selling point. Fucking slop basically. And an undertale clone which is abandonware. Calls himself pirate software to be edgy, despite being AGAINST owning your own games.

Roman : A simulator about BEING a game dev, and all the troubles it entails. Followed by 2 games which attempt (and succeed) to emulate the likes of quality stealth games likes of splinter cell, metal gear, and possibly theif (albiet bloodier). Is called explosive squat games, and he lives this out by doing dead lifts of 220 KG AKA 485LBS


I probably could go on, but I believe you get my point.
Including a video of him fucking around and lifting weights / doing skits to promote his game, just to drive home the whole chad to virgin comparison
 
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Including a video of him fucking around and lifting weights / doing skits to promote his game, just to drive home the whole chad to virgin comparison
You forgot to post a corresponding video of Maldavius to complete the juxtaposition. Here

 
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agree with your entire post, but you made a typo here. he has 1 game
Wrong bud... Mald has many game as he thinks he has ! Kill the moon ? that one ! Champion of shitfest that 2... heart bound ? He just wrote down 7... SEVEN new time line that is SEVEN fucking standalone game at its own right bud (and thats why we did not got a april update) !!4!!!44!! Each sold furfag avatar on second life, that basically a new game + IN LIFE bud ! Get on his level first bud, then talk shit about a MANchild who has 20 years of experience in haxxoring nuklea powerplant for blizzard, face it bud you just don't compare !!44!!4!!4

Heartbound ARG ? Thats infinite +1 game so big brain 200IQ 4d chess masterpiece i had to edit my shitpost just to include it !
 
So in gist, his egotistical bullshit about being a professional 20 year game dev/coder has left him with a game thats code is so fundamentally retarded, shit probably breaks left and right every single time he makes the slightest changes.

I'm tempted to fork out $10 just to scrutinise his code and create the game for him in less than a month.

You wouldn't happen to be ESL would you?

Anyway here's what his commit branch looks like probably (I don't have a mouse on me so I can't MS paint it (yes I unironically use MS paint in meetings like Jason does don't @ me), so I used chat gerperty):

1745800111664.webp

Notice the Cum branch.

You wouldn't happen to be ESL would you?

@Nick Gars I don't know why I wrote that I think I was trying to quote @Forklift Certified :story:
 
What the fuck even is offbrand games? Wasn't he apart of it or something? I only know they published Rivals of Aether 2

For some reason every video game streamer at one point in their life decides to start up a company with another streamer and it inevitably goes to shit. Offbrand games is one of those companies and he started it with Ludwig. He calls himself the Director of Strategy or some other made up title that he used to position himself as a marketable person of authority.
 
For some reason every video game streamer at one point in their life decides to start up a company with another streamer and it inevitably goes to shit. Offbrand games is one of those companies and he started it with Ludwig. He calls himself the Director of Strategy or some other made up title that he used to position himself as a marketable person of authority.
It's still up for debate whether he's actually a co-owner or just stretched the truth a bit while talking to journalists
 
  • Agree
Reactions: Nothing Is Written
It's still up for debate whether he's actually a co-owner or just stretched the truth a bit while talking to journalists

You might be right, this is the only place that "officially" lists his role title, and he doesn't have a title at all on the Offbrand Games LinkedIn page either.

Screenshot_20250428_115911_LinkedIn.webp
 
I'm tempted to fork out $10 just to scrutinise his code and create the game for him in less than a month.

You wouldn't happen to be ESL would you?

Anyway here's what his commit branch looks like probably (I don't have a mouse on me so I can't MS paint it (yes I unironically use MS paint in meetings like Jason does don't @ me), so I used chat gerperty):


Notice the Cum branch.
Honestly? Paying 5 dollars more for a key from a third party site would be a preferable option so that he gets $0 from the transaction

What the fuck even is offbrand games? Wasn't he apart of it or something? I only know they published Rivals of Aether 2
Ludwig's attempt at "passive" revenue. They act as producers and get a cut from the games sold. What they do exactly no fuckin clue. But it feels like its mostly clout advertising.
 
agree with your entire post, but you made a typo here. he has 1 game
It's under the publisher/developer of pirate games on steam so I counted it. I mean he needs all the help he can get, I could of probably gone further with that post, but no matter how you look at it, the intravenous dev outdid him in every metric besides being an eceleb who was forced by the algorithm.

But that, like everything else, seems like it wasn't even earned by hard work, but more fell into his lap
 
the intravenous dev outdid him in every metric besides being an eceleb who was forced by the algorithm.
Can anyone find a game dev who is outdone by jason thor hall? Like even yanderedev outdoes him at this point.

Anyone know a dev with 1 game to their career, who has also spent a decade in development hell on a gamemaker project while not even doing the art and music for said project, and has a second project stuck in the preproduction because he can't finish his first project.

Outside of Mald, anyone with that type of resume would be too embarrassed to call themselves a dev
 
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