DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

[Digger10]

THATS IT! NO MORE LEGOS!
DSP WAGEQUIT IT CAUSE THERE WAS NO ONE WHO GAVE HIM 90DOLLARS IN THE LAST 15 MINUTES!

Legos joining kogaming1, dspolitics, react streams, throwback channel, interviewing people, smark guys.

I wish DSP charged money for breathing.

 

[Pandalee’s Tits]

What are some other lolcows I should check out during Phil’s vacation to beg his parents for money?

 

[strandedcastaway]

Yesterday Phil kept saying, "Oh, there's no way we'd have a marathon on Sunday because we'd have to hit nine goals...though that would be ideal, that would be the best date because they do so much better on the weekend." So he wanted $1350 (minimum) combined on Wednesday and Saturday, then a marathon on Sunday where he'd expect another $1000? From, what, a handful of whales? He's just lost the plot.

With the speculation (from Phil's own words in the DMs that he leaked) that he's doing a speed run to Connecticut to see his mom on her "last legs", I'll note he screwed up a couple times yesterday and said he'd return to streaming on Sunday when he presumably meant Saturday. Could have just been gin brain messups, but depending on what he's actually doing, don't be surprised if he's suddenly "sick" on Saturday. (Of course Phil will say these are mouth-drooler conspiracy theories, but I'm just going by what he himself said.)

 

[Book Thief]

Odd question: Does Phil’s brain dead gameplay of your favourite game ruin your enjoyment of the game?

I actually prefer watching TIHYDPs of games I know, because it allows me to pick up on subtleties of Phil's failings and how they occurred beyond Phil just being a retard, or how Phil is straight up lying about what happened.

Take this clip from Sonic Adventure 2 for example:

Phil presents this as though the Light Speed Dash mechanic (the ability that allows Sonic to travel through rings) doesn't work properly, and that this is a failing of the game and not him. He even claims that he merely "tapped" the B button, and instead Sonic "fell off" on his own.

However, since I've played this game before, I know Phil's full of shit. You see, Phil performed a Spin Dash, which is what launched him off the platform. While it's true that Light Speed and Spin Dashing are both on the same button, in order to perform a Spin Dash in SA2, you need to be holding the button for at about half a second. Meaning that Phil did not "tap the button" as he claimed. He held it. That's the sort of thing you won't pick up on unless you're familiar with the game he's playing.

That said, though, it is somewhat annoying to hear him act like a fake fan of certain classic game series because he'll often get basic facts wrong. He'll also straight up fabricate stories of how he used to play the game so much that he became a god at the game, knowing all the secrets and could beat the game without ever getting hit, when it's pretty obvious when you look at his gameplay that it's very much a blind playthrough.

 

[Hungrymandinner]

Any of you guys at Bradley International Airport holding a DSP sign?

 

[Cyber Bowling]

I do legit think it takes him about an hour to make thumbnails and start to upload prestream + gameplay because his processes are that bad. It should take him about 5 minutes using AI to make all the thumbnails he could ever need but now that his "team of editors" are gone he actually sits there and makes each one of them and spends time thinking of a robust video title.

His workflow is worse then you can imagine I bet if Mike Clum actually made the doc he would've been fucking flabbergasted that DSP makes any money at all with how bad he is at it.

I think Phil also does a lot of "fake work" stuff that a lot of us did when we were younger. It's like when you don't want to work on a report in middle school, but you're stuck in the classroom so you have to do something to keep the teacher off your back. So, you find something inane to pass the next 40 minutes on, like needlessly adding detail to the cover page, or arranging everything on your desk just right so you have all the books you need laid out before you.

Phil does this with basically every aspect of his life. We see it all the time in his gaming where he'll randomly stall for time by looking at everything on the ground and commenting on each pixel. Even people who really care about their channels don't take that long to make thumbnails, but Phil clearly doesn't want to actually do stuff like that so he needlessly drags his feet and is probably playing Champions at the same time instead of just focusing and spending a few minutes getting the work done.

 

[Digger10]

Take this clip from Sonic Adventure 2 for example:

On the subject of Sonic Adventure, his playthroughs of that series made me wonder something; is it possible that part of why Phil is so terrible at video games is because he has twitchy hands? In the first game there's this one part where he's flying a plane and he moves the plane to each corner of the screen for no real reason. The level "Crazy Gadget" in the second game has you moving Sonic off platforms and dropping onto rails hanging in midair. Phil kept missing them because he kept wiggling Sonic around instead of positioning him properly. Naturally, he blamed this on the game.

Maybe him randomly wiggling the sticks is another example of him engaging in stimming.

 

[PieceofShet]

Day off right?

I do believe he is homo, a closeted one. My theo theory is that Leanna caught him in the past doing something gay for sure.
No straight guy behaves around digital females like him. And there is nothing you can say to change my mind.

He is a very egotistic person, he will support the side that he benefits the most from in politics.

What was the third talking point? I forgot.

 

[Digger10]

What was the third talking point? I forgot.

Does he have depression?

 

[PieceofShet]

Does he have depression?

O yea, thanks.

No, he doesnt. Everytime he mentions it, he just using it to get more pity bucks.

 

[Cucktry Roads]

Imagine if you owned a sandwich shop and removed menu items the instant they didn't meet some arbitrary goal.

anyways, happy burst bros. a moment of silence for all the kick chatters that will inevitably get banned by the man himself on this busy day off.

Imagine walking into the sandwich shop and the owner was in the middle of beating his chode.

 

[Khet’s Personal Trainer]

My Xwitter message got deleted from him dammit. I do have a friend that works more upper management at that Bridgeport airport, and mentioned one of his fans wants to buy him and Khet a cocktail when he sees them at the airport. I imagine Phil will mosey through the airport in one of those Marx brother glasses with the mustache and huge snozz.

 

[Kier Starmer]

I agree with @EmpGulcasa that since the birthday stream, there have been a lot fewer restreamers with different personalities. Raw Phil does God's work, but Tevin and Alt are pretty much the last restreamers. Alt in the summer is having a rebrand where he is going to be featuring Phil a lot less and venturing into other cows. A similar event happened last year, pre-casino era, where there was only really Raw Phil and Alt restreaming, and his income massively dipped. This was when his goal was a $50 tip only, too. Even with his audience, his legitimate fans are now checked out. Jayde is strictly night stream and not even for the whole duration.

 

[shekelshoah666]

I think Phil also does a lot of "fake work" stuff that a lot of us did when we were younger. It's like when you don't want to work on a report in middle school, but you're stuck in the classroom so you have to do something to keep the teacher off your back. So, you find something inane to pass the next 40 minutes on, like needlessly adding detail to the cover page, or arranging everything on your desk just right so you have all the books you need laid out before you.

Phil does this with basically every aspect of his life. We see it all the time in his gaming where he'll randomly stall for time by looking at everything on the ground and commenting on each pixel. Even people who really care about their channels don't take that long to make thumbnails, but Phil clearly doesn't want to actually do stuff like that so he needlessly drags his feet and is probably playing Champions at the same time instead of just focusing and spending a few minutes getting the work done.

Ya he adds so much unneeded time to his workflow by doing local recordings and then reuploading instead of just using tools like everyone else does to just cut down parts of the stream into videos. His way of doing things also completely kills his discoverability which makes it even funnier to me privating his streams to reupload 5-6 videos a day that get at most $5 bucks will always be so funny to me.

Knowing he sits in that office for probably 2 hours a day minimum off stream rolling Hogans and trying to get the videos uploaded with struggling to make a thumbnail is some peak DSP content.

I agree with @EmpGulcasa that since the birthday stream, there have been a lot fewer restreamers with different personalities. Raw Phil does God's work, but Tevin and Alt are pretty much the last restreamers. Alt in the summer is having a rebrand where he is going to be featuring Phil a lot less and venturing into other cows. A similar event happened last year, pre-casino era, where there was only really Raw Phil and Alt restreaming, and his income massively dipped. This was when his goal was a $50 tip only, too. Even with his audience, his legitimate fans are now checked out. Jayde is strictly night stream and not even for the whole duration.

If DSP's goal was to make his content unwatchable by both his fans and haters then I would say he succeeded in doing so. Go watch his most recent Clair Obscur gameplay and he stretches maybe a ~45 minute segment if you are slow into the entire gameplay stream while talking about support and goals the entire time. Legit the easiest game in the world to stream with tons of quality voice acting that means you only have to give some basic commentary during battles and go along for the ride but he just runs into a wall while staring at chat talking about hitting the goals.

However bad you thought his old gameplay was the current gameplay is so much worse it's unbelievable.

 

[Samuel Fuller]

Imagine walking into the sandwich shop and the owner was in the middle of beating his chode.

I see you, too, have been to SubWay!

 

[The GOUT-HATERS Handbook]

What are some other lolcows I should check out during Phil’s vacation to beg his parents for money?

If you like PWR's call-in schtick, Ghostpolitics still does TCR and TGS. His Radio Graffiti segments (the call-in part where people troll him) can be found here, and general clips/highlights of his shows here.

 

[Lord_Point]

I do believe he is homo, a closeted one.

Closeted might be too strong a word here. Dave is openly giddy any time something homoerotic is happening on screen.

 

[Hamburger Detractor]

Phil and Khet will never have kids. Not because Phil is gay and they never have sex, but Khet defied nature and morphed from a horse into an elephant. So any kind of scientific help won't work either because as we all know...
Pig and an elephant's DNA just won't splice

 

[Pattern Noticer]

What are some other lolcows I should check out during Phil’s vacation to beg his parents for money?

WPIG1651 has tons and tons of old DSP content they go over, check the playlists.
KingCobraJFS's been in a lull after getting his channel banned and unbanned (it's still on the rocks so he's posting on his alt).
Patrick S. Tomlinson is a consistent source of twitter lulz.
I recently found Captain Alex through Kinda Sav's streams.

Closeted might be too strong a word here. Dave is openly giddy any time something homoerotic is happening on screen.

Presented without comment:

 

[Philipp Amthor]

What are some other lolcows I should check out during Phil’s vacation to beg his parents for money?

Fatrick, he is similar to DSP in a different way.