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Don't get me wrong — I fully trust my daughter. She is the proverbial "good kid" and has given us no reason to worry over the years. Still, the world outside her exemplary behavior and our well-intentioned parenting is still a dangerous place.
That's why my daughter will stay on our family's Life360 account for her freshman year and possibly beyond. That's nonnegotiable.
To be clear, I don't stalk my teenagers. I don't obsessively check the notifications when they arrive in a new location. I don't ask a million questions about their plans. I don't punish them if they travel a certain distance or go somewhere without telling me.
Really, it's just a gut check — a way to keep me from worrying if they're running late or not replying to texts or phone calls. If I can at least see where they are, that their phone still has battery, and that there are no unsafe driving alerts, then I know they're simply living their lives, and I can go back to living mine.
I don't want to lose that peace of mind just because my daughter is going to college.
I've mentioned my plan to other college moms, and some of them raised their eyebrows. I understand that to some people, this may seem like a breach of privacy and, possibly, a bit of a helicopter mom move. To me, it's a practical use of a tool at my disposal that may help me sleep easier when half my heart is living in a dorm room 150 miles away.
But as an experienced mom, I know better than to speak in absolutes. My list of "I nevers" that I've gone back on over the years is about a mile long. When raising kids, there is no rule book, and we need to be prepared to make adjustments.
After all, when my kids first started learning to drive, I couldn't fathom them going places without me, and now, they drive everywhere on their own.
Maybe several months of safe and uneventful college life will convince me that it's time to cut the digital cord. Maybe I will feel the need to have her location available for the rest of her college years. I am keeping the door open for either possibility.
In fact, she's been known to check on me when I'm on a trip without her or merely going to Sephora without inviting her along. I consider our relationship to be quite healthy, and she knows the app provides me with some mental breathing room, so she hasn't asked me to stop.
If she did, we would have a conversation, and I would hear her out. But tracking her for at least the first few months at college would be a requirement.
Eventually, I'm sure it will become clear to us both that it's time to move on from this phase, but for the immediate future, the app stays.
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- My daughter is going away to college this fall, and my anxiety is already creeping in.
- I've used Life360 to track my kids ever since they started driving.
- I have no intention of removing my daughter from Life360 once she heads off to college.
Don't get me wrong — I fully trust my daughter. She is the proverbial "good kid" and has given us no reason to worry over the years. Still, the world outside her exemplary behavior and our well-intentioned parenting is still a dangerous place.
That's why my daughter will stay on our family's Life360 account for her freshman year and possibly beyond. That's nonnegotiable.
I understand my decision is controversial
For the uninitiated, Life360 is a location-sharing app where you can track your family member's movements. I became aware of its existence as my kids hit their teen years; I heard about other parents using it. I decided to track my kids through high school, especially when they started driving — and have no plans to stop.To be clear, I don't stalk my teenagers. I don't obsessively check the notifications when they arrive in a new location. I don't ask a million questions about their plans. I don't punish them if they travel a certain distance or go somewhere without telling me.
Really, it's just a gut check — a way to keep me from worrying if they're running late or not replying to texts or phone calls. If I can at least see where they are, that their phone still has battery, and that there are no unsafe driving alerts, then I know they're simply living their lives, and I can go back to living mine.
I don't want to lose that peace of mind just because my daughter is going to college.
I've mentioned my plan to other college moms, and some of them raised their eyebrows. I understand that to some people, this may seem like a breach of privacy and, possibly, a bit of a helicopter mom move. To me, it's a practical use of a tool at my disposal that may help me sleep easier when half my heart is living in a dorm room 150 miles away.
I'm mostly open to changing my mind
Right now, my plan to track my daughter at college is nonnegotiable.But as an experienced mom, I know better than to speak in absolutes. My list of "I nevers" that I've gone back on over the years is about a mile long. When raising kids, there is no rule book, and we need to be prepared to make adjustments.
After all, when my kids first started learning to drive, I couldn't fathom them going places without me, and now, they drive everywhere on their own.
Maybe several months of safe and uneventful college life will convince me that it's time to cut the digital cord. Maybe I will feel the need to have her location available for the rest of her college years. I am keeping the door open for either possibility.
For now, my daughter is fine with my tracking
Thankfully, my daughter isn't asking to be removed and doesn't seem bothered.In fact, she's been known to check on me when I'm on a trip without her or merely going to Sephora without inviting her along. I consider our relationship to be quite healthy, and she knows the app provides me with some mental breathing room, so she hasn't asked me to stop.
If she did, we would have a conversation, and I would hear her out. But tracking her for at least the first few months at college would be a requirement.
Eventually, I'm sure it will become clear to us both that it's time to move on from this phase, but for the immediate future, the app stays.
