The Australian totalitarian megathread - She won't be right mate.

I made a bet with my dad last night. He thinks there's gonna be a coalition surge today from various factors and Duttons gonna snatch a slim win. I think its over already and Labor is in due to Dutton fumbling and Albo being given basically a free field by the media.

Typical Aussie wager. Carton of piss to the winner. Loser has to come over and help drink it (and endure the smugness of the winner).
 
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JelloJerk

Thread 'Australian Federal Election 2025'

I've been inspired by the Canadian Federal Election thread and I thought it might be cool to have one for the Australian Federal election, which is happening May 3rd. With the whole country going to shit in real time with the cost of living crisis, mass immigration, and more retarded draconian censorship laws getting passed day by day, I'm sure plenty of people are going to be paying closer attention to this election than they ever had before. So, who are the candidates?

The two main shitcunts:
Labor Party: Anthony Albanese
Website
Albo.webpALP_logo_2017.svg.webp...
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Australian Election dedicated thread for those who hadn't seen it.
 
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Spoonge said:
Dutton fumbling and Albo being given basically a free field by the media.
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You have to admit, the media coming out so hard for labour is unusual if you look at the last couple of elections its always been heavily biased to liberals even the rag media isn't going as hard. I'd love to see unbiased media to have a balance of opinions but that'll never happen.
 
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Spoonge said:
I made a bet with my dad last night. He thinks there's gonna be a coalition surge today from various factors and Duttons gonna snatch a slim win. I think its over already and Labor is in due to Dutton fumbling and Albo being given basically a free field by the media.

Typical Aussie wager. Carton of piss to the winner. Loser has to come over and help drink it (and endure the smugness of the winner).
Click to expand...

Hope you've been practising your smug face mate
 
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Have voted.
Am from a progressive shithole electorate so my vote is like pissing in an ocean of Greens supporters.
All well.
Whoever wins, we are guaranteed more Indians.

Anyway, local schools did a good job.
Made sure to avoid anyone offering vegetarian or halal options (fuck off mudslime cunts).

They were a bit stingy on the onions so the snag gets a 9/10

The cake stall had chocolate crackle, ANZAC bikkies, frog in a pond, and carrot cake - 10/10. Nephews were very happy.
 
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Premium Gonzo said:
You have to admit, the media coming out so hard for labour is unusual if you look at the last couple of elections its always been heavily biased to liberals even the rag media isn't going as hard. I'd love to see unbiased media to have a balance of opinions but that'll never happen.
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It honestly just seems like Dutton is so hard to lobby for that they just gave up and defaulted to labour.
 
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I also early voted but went up to the local voting centre to buy a snag for breakfast. It was absolutely packed, loads of party reps (and Teals yuck), my mum voted today and it took her an hour to get through the queue. Its an extremely marginal electorate so not entirely surprised there was a lot of people voting, but it seems unusual since its never been this busy. Did everyone want to get it over and done with and went to the voting centre first thing in the morning?
 
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I voted ages ago, postal vote for the win no cunts bothered me and every school was jam packed. Went for a ride instead and got burger queen for lunch. Much more pleasant.
 
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Salt_Merchant said:
Dutton ran the shittest campaign I've ever seen

He was cooked the second he made working from home a policy

He was turbo cooked when he walked it back
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The funniest part is this would have been the easiest election snatch for Libs in decades if they just took a strong stance on:
  • Stopping immigration
  • Lowering house/rent prices + cost of living
  • Lowering taxes (or just abolish the ATO entirely)
  • Remove esafety shit, remove digital id, just less government involvement in your life
And they couldn't even do that. They couldn't even commit to a single one, let alone all of them. Labor after the last election win looked like they would have an easy landslide this election, but after them fucking up and making literally everything worse, it could have not been handed to the Libs on any more of a silver platter and they still couldn't make the best of it lol.

To be honest, even just the taxes point I think would be a clear win for any candidate as there is not a single aussie I know who doesn't fucking hate taxes. All of them would vote in a heartbeat for even the most shit candidate in the world if it meant they never had to deal with the ATO again. Make income - get taxed, buy your groceries - get taxed, setup your own business - get taxed, breathe - get taxed. We live in one of the biggest tax rorts in the world that would even make Israel jealous.
 
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I've had my postal vote for a couple of weeks now I think and I kept putting off getting someone to sign it for me, so when I got home from work today I found out you can submit a declaration online and I had to put a reason why I couldn't get anyone to sign it so I wrote "social anxiety, social recluse" and I hope that works. I've filled it out now and it's ready to post, but I doubt it'll be in time to have any real effect. I haven't voted in 20 years.
 
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