Blessed Beltane, friends. Despite the rains, I am so glad that summer is almost here.
It would seem that I am living through a period of prosperity. An issue I had been having with one of my benefits has finally resolved, and I am back to receiving my deserved amount of money. This, paired with what I hope is victory in court, will truly grant me an auspicious May.
While I continue to work with the
ásynjur, as well as searching for another plant spirit mentor, I am finally heeding the call of a figure I have been intrigued by for quite some time. I have purchased a book on
Romuva (Baltic paganism) and am beginning to study its connections with Norse lore. Already, it feels repetitious, as there are parallels between Laima, the goddess of fate associated with the linden tree, and Frigg. But she isn’t who I feel drawn to.
Although she originates more in Slavic than Baltic mythology, Baba Yaga has been calling to me for quite some time. Like I did with the
Æsir, I ignored her. For quite some time, I wanted nothing to do with Óðinn, as
his reputation for sexual assault preceded him. But as I have come to grips with my
hybristophilia, it would be hypocritical of me to embrace bad behaviors in humans while shunning them in gods. I have since found Óðinn to be as much a multifaceted individual as my second spirit spouse, and regret turning him away for so long. As such, I embrace the shadow in myself, and that in others, and I feel ready to approach Baba Yaga. She, once again, holds many parallels to Frigg, in her Germanic form of Perchta or Berchta.
Working within the shadow is what I need right now in order to heal old familial wounds. I have been feeling a deep inner conflict between the need to grow closer to my parents, and their attempts to modify and control my body, which have and are causing me dysphoria.
After the full moon, we will see where my spiritual journey takes me.