🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

Will the "MMA" fight between Gabe Hoffman and Ethan Ralph 🐷 happen?

  • YES!

    Votes: 26 7.1%

  • lol no

    Votes: 338 92.9%
  • Total voters
    364
HackerX said:
I really want to know how Ralph moving to Mexico came into existence. Like, how does that come up as a viable option for anyone, especially him. It was obviously a combo of Ralph running away from problems and cheaper cost of living, but I have to imagine someone was whispering the idea into his pig ears. It was just such an off-the-wall solution to the Ralphaproblem. I did enjoy Ralphastint of "haha alawgs, yeww'll never find mehh", only to be found within a month. Maybe Ralph was hoping people would find him moving to Mexico to be too ridiculous to believe?
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Alogs and dents in his chat made it sound like a badass idea. His only understanding of the world comes from movies. In old westerns the outlaws always make a run for the border and hide out down in Mexico. They hid out down in Mexico until the heat died down. Then they eventually returned to do more outlaw shit.

But Ralph's reality is he is now to broke to move back to the USA. He doesn't have Meigh's credit to leach off of for an apartment. And his truck is likely dead and facing repo order back in the US. He is trapped in shithole mexico forever now, alone. He should have jumped on the opportunity to move to Florida with Baked but somehow he fucked that up too. Or just couldn't afford to get there. :story:
 
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Jump said:
Alogs and dents in his chat made it sound like a badass idea. His only understanding of the world comes from movies. In old westerns the outlaws always make a run for the border and hide out down in Mexico. They hid out down in Mexico until the heat died down. Then they eventually returned to do more outlaw shit.
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This, exactly. That whole outlaw thing.
Jump said:
But Ralph's reality is he is now to broke to move back to the USA. He doesn't have Meigh's credit to leach off of for an apartment. And his truck is likely dead and facing repo order back in the US. He is trapped in shithole mexico forever now, alone. He should have jumped on the opportunity to move to Florida with Baked but somehow he fucked that up too. Or just couldn't afford to get there. :story:
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And this. He probably pays $250-$300/month for rent in merida, he couldn’t even rent a room in SD for that. Plus cheap benzos (scores xannies in Progresso beach according to Harry who gets his info from Pantsu) You can get mail order xannies in the US (which is what he used to do) but it’s hella expensive. Cheap cigarettes, cheap booze, everything’s cheap. Pig is stuck in Mexico financially, his dying show is barely paying his (Mexican) survival expenses.
 
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Um... said:
There are three ped crossings from TJ into SD.

They’re just as klassy as the rest of Tijuana.
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So he gets a cheapo flight to TJ, gets a cheap motel room in TJ, ubers to the border, waits in line about an hour with the other poors, hoofs it across and ubers to the visitation site, then reverses course back to the TJ slum. It’s the brokie way.

He flexes like he’s a high roller but his dumb piggy wet brain tells the real story of how poor he is, every time.
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Here's a vid on the CBX (Cross Border Express). I guess you need to actually be flying in/out of the airport to use it, and it costs $50 (roundtrip).
Since Ralph chooses to slum it in TJ, I believe he can't use it. He could of course fly from Merida to TJ, use CBX and stay in SD, but the costs of San Diego hotels, even cheap ones, would cut into the torta and troon budget.
 
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Jump said:
But Ralph's reality is he is now to broke to move back to the USA. He doesn't have Meigh's credit to leach off of for an apartment. And his truck is likely dead and facing repo order back in the US. He is trapped in shithole mexico forever now, alone. He should have jumped on the opportunity to move to Florida with Baked but somehow he fucked that up too. Or just couldn't afford to get there. :story:
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That really is his fate. It's basically the same concept for retards who move to Hawaii, get addicted to whatever, and have no logistical means to make it back to the continental US. Ralph doesn't have family that could get him out of a bind like that either. He doesn't have a close enough relationship with his uncle to do it and Evan is Evan. (It really says something that Evan got all the good genes from the Ronnie X Sandra demonic copulation.)

Pretty sure this destiny went from plausible (when he first moved to Mexico), to guaranteed, considering Amanda left him, his drug/alcohol abuse got exponentially worse, he doesn't make money, etc. I have to imagine it's on the back of Ralph's mind. Yeah, he's a massive retard, but he's not stupid in the conventional sense. (Well, he is, but you get the point.) Ralph is such a broken creature to not only be aware that's where his life is headed, but do absolutely nothing to stop it from happening.
 
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Jump said:
Alogs and dents in his chat made it sound like a badass idea. His only understanding of the world comes from movies. In old westerns the outlaws always make a run for the border and hide out down in Mexico. They hid out down in Mexico until the heat died down. Then they eventually returned to do more outlaw shit.
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Also, his e-daddy :diddler: BROKE DICK PEDOPHILE KID DIDDLER JOHM POTTER OR WHATEVER YOUR REAL NAME IS was living in Ukraine/Serbia at the time, largely to keep down his cost of living. That and he knew it would be much more difficult, if not impossible, for Viggers to serve him legal papers in Meigh-hee-co.
 
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JAKL II said:
His lack of accountability is astounding, the fat bitch puts off everything until the last possible fucking minute because he is a low agency retard who blames everything and everyone for problems he himself caused.
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One thing to remember, he will have the stamina of a geriatric person, the toll of being obese, having a drinker's liver, being a longterm pill addict, suffering through the tissue distention normally seen on a post pregnant woman, he will have to rest twice as much a man his age, he will have to spend every minute of those ten hours to recover and prepare to stand unaided for several hours.
It would be like one of us having to jog 7km, or climb a fairly steep hill, for several days in a row.
 
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HackerX said:
Ralph is such a broken creature to not only be aware that's where his life is headed, but do absolutely nothing to stop it from happening.
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Ralph drove drunk the wrong direction down a one way street, putting his family in eminent danger in a country where they don't even speak the language.

If that's not a metaphor for Ralph's life, I don't know what is.
 
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Sloppa said:
One thing to remember, he will have the stamina of a geriatric person, the toll of being obese, having a drinker's liver, being a longterm pill addict, suffering through the tissue distention normally seen on a post pregnant woman, he will have to rest twice as much a man his age, he will have to spend every minute of those ten hours to recover and prepare to stand unaided for several hours.
It would be like one of us having to jog 7km, or climb a fairly steep hill, for several days in a row.
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What are you talking about? As a mattuh of fact, he didn't even go to sleep last night, if yewww wanna know da troof about it. Naao that Imma thinkin' bout it, it was acktually YEWWW who is geriatric.
UCantCCPMe said:
Ralph drove drunk the wrong direction down a one way street, putting his family in eminent danger in a country where they don't even speak the language.

If that's not a metaphor for Ralph's life, I don't know what is.
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Hard to blame him when he was driving without his booster seat. How else is he supposed to see the road?

I vaguely recall him having to take the truck to a shop after that because he ran over a barrier or some shit. Was this the last time Ralph had positive control of the vehicle? I don't remember the last time Ralph has mentioned it or taken any pictures of it other than since this timeframe and it's been something like 2 years? Did Nissan repo it? Can Nissan repo it in Mexico? Did he abandon it at some repair shop? Maybe Pantsu took it with her when she absconded the Hollerin' Hog? The rental agreement is way more likely to be in her name for obvious reasons. I know Nissan will finance basically anyone with a pulse, but Ralph's credit history is the red flag of all red flags. (No stable income, unpaid student loans, no home ownership/rental history, PlayStation credit cards, etc.)

Where did the truck go, Ralph?
 
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Ralph never understands that his meager existence to barely afford food, accommodation and visitation, and to be always literally 3 days from stone cold broke isn't a virtue of his skill at grifting, but by the design of the few who literally pay him enough to suffer an existence rather than end his existence.

His poor existence is their pleasure, and they ensure he barely exists.
 
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This stingy fucker brought his son some milk, he's such a broke loser.
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