UK British News Megathread - aka CWCissey's news thread

https://news.sky.com/story/row-over-new-greggs-vegan-sausage-rolls-heats-up-11597679

A heated row has broken out over a move by Britain's largest bakery chain to launch a vegan sausage roll.

The pastry, which is filled with a meat substitute and encased in 96 pastry layers, is available in 950 Greggs stores across the country.

It was promised after 20,000 people signed a petition calling for the snack to be launched to accommodate plant-based diet eaters.


But the vegan sausage roll's launch has been greeted by a mixed reaction: Some consumers welcomed it, while others voiced their objections.

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spread happiness@p4leandp1nk
https://twitter.com/p4leandp1nk/status/1080767496569974785

#VEGANsausageroll thanks Greggs

7
10:07 AM - Jan 3, 2019

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Cook and food poverty campaigner Jack Monroe declared she was "frantically googling to see what time my nearest opens tomorrow morning because I will be outside".

While TV writer Brydie Lee-Kennedy called herself "very pro the Greggs vegan sausage roll because anything that wrenches veganism back from the 'clean eating' wellness folk is a good thing".

One Twitter user wrote that finding vegan sausage rolls missing from a store in Corby had "ruined my morning".

Another said: "My son is allergic to dairy products which means I can't really go to Greggs when he's with me. Now I can. Thank you vegans."

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pg often@pgofton
https://twitter.com/pgofton/status/1080772793774624768

The hype got me like #Greggs #Veganuary


42
10:28 AM - Jan 3, 2019

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TV presenter Piers Morgan led the charge of those outraged by the new roll.

"Nobody was waiting for a vegan bloody sausage, you PC-ravaged clowns," he wrote on Twitter.

Mr Morgan later complained at receiving "howling abuse from vegans", adding: "I get it, you're all hangry. I would be too if I only ate plants and gruel."

Another Twitter user said: "I really struggle to believe that 20,000 vegans are that desperate to eat in a Greggs."

"You don't paint a mustach (sic) on the Mona Lisa and you don't mess with the perfect sausage roll," one quipped.

Journalist Nooruddean Choudry suggested Greggs introduce a halal steak bake to "crank the fume levels right up to 11".

The bakery chain told concerned customers that "change is good" and that there would "always be a classic sausage roll".

It comes on the same day McDonald's launched its first vegetarian "Happy Meal", designed for children.

The new dish comes with a "veggie wrap", instead of the usual chicken or beef option.

It should be noted that Piers Morgan and Greggs share the same PR firm, so I'm thinking this is some serious faux outrage and South Park KKK gambiting here.

 

[Otterly]

I'm going to be in Scotland in July, what are my odds of a Summer of Discontent riot?

Low, but you can experience the joy of fighting any time you like, with the magic of Buckfast, several pints of heavy and a sawn-off golf club. Don’t forget to visit an all night bakery afterwards for a deep fried macaroni pie to soak it all up!

 

[Overly Serious]

Update:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c24q4ng9y11o

Well, Hell itself must have frozen over as the Tories, Reform UK AND the Liberal Democrats are all opposing this plan.

Checked the polling for Labour - very soon they'll be below 20% and maybe then the panic buttons will have to be pressed.

From the Labour spokesperson quoted in your article:

"This deal will provide an annual £4.8bn boost for British businesses, create more jobs, raise wages by more than £2 billion a year and bring down prices for hard-pressed consumers," the spokesperson said."

£4.8bn for who? Not the workers, that's for sure. Raise wages for who? Again, not the British worker. Bring down prices? Probably - but only because demand will crash as British workers are displaced from the jobs market.

One interesting thing is that this will likely hit the laptop class a lot. Indians coming over for web development, rather fewer for emptying the bins. Perhaps that's what Starmer is banking on - he thinks the laptop class already hate him so this doesn't change anything. Not so, though - Middle Class people are more Left Wing than most working class people.

I wonder if with India bombing Pakistan and cutting off their national water supplies (a war crime), Britain will sanction India like we did with Russia. That would be something trade deal and sanctions in the same week! Oh, who am I kidding - Starmer will do nothing to displease India.

Low, but you can experience the joy of fighting any time you like, with the magic of Buckfast, several pints of heavy and a sawn-off golf club. Don’t forget to visit an all night bakery afterwards for a deep fried macaroni pie to soak it all up!

All accompanied by a girl in a 4" skirt standing by the side shouting "leave him alone, Calum. He's not worth it!" in a shrill voice.

 

[BongoMongo]

Low, but you can experience the joy of fighting any time you like, with the magic of Buckfast, several pints of heavy and a sawn-off golf club. Don’t forget to visit an all night bakery afterwards for a deep fried macaroni pie to soak it all up!

McEwans 80 is especially chewy. It's a meal in its own right.

Edited to say: fuck me I could scran a pizza crunch supper the now. Only a spring of chips, mind. Watching my weight.

 

[-Jack-]

Can you expect Keir to chooese between a Paki and Pajeet? He's being Eiffel towered by both.

 

[FedPostalService]

I'm going to be in Scotland in July, what are my odds of a Summer of Discontent riot?

Haggis wogs fancy themselves as warriors but are really docile and will only fight each other over football.

It is getting more culturally enriched so it’s not impossible

 

[Tom Nook's Gloryhole]

McEwans 80 is especially chewy. It's a meal in its own right.

God it's been so long since I've had a McEwans, do they still have the pirate on the cans or have they completely sterilised the branding?

 

[Made In Wales]

I am honestly flabbergasted by how retarded Starmer is. This is one of the biggest boons you could hand Farage and Davey. By the way he did not not even clear this through the fucking Home Office or the Treasury which the court warned him about after the Chagus deal

In other news, Lords BTFO'd Reeves' removal of subsidies on the farms. Along with Labour MPs calling out the farming inheritance tax. I have a feeling the news cycle this week is going to be insane.

I am wondering if Starmer is doing it on purpose to obliterate his own party.

As you say, he is doing everything possible to make Reform UK the de facto next Government.

Does he not believe in his own team? Understandable (they're fucking useless) but surely you'd think that he'd at least try - if not for his sake, theirs.

No, it's about him and never them - if he can ignore his own Cabinet team, he'll ignore those on the periphery. He has a record for ousting anybody who is against Starmerism (such as the Parish Councillor in Wantage who refused to back Starmer as Party Leader) and cannot see that the choices he is making not only undermine the UK but also Labour's chances of a) delivering on their promises and b) staying in power.

Starmer does not want Rayner, Reeves etc. and any relationship with them is not likely to be a good one - he only wants like-minded people, boring and stuffy academics rather than the working class people who built Labour up in the mid to late 1800s. Therefore, he's alienated the core base and also united both of the political Left and Right tribes against him - a feat unheard of in Politics before now, as usually one side is at least traditionally broadly supportive of the Government of the day depending on their bias.

This train-wreck cannot go on much longer.

From the 'off the rails' Government to 'on the rails' - 18 year olds can now drive trains:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cx2w2prj470o

 

[Inquisitor_BadAss]

From the 'off the rails' Government to 'on the rails' - 18 year olds can now drive trains:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cx2w2prj470o

I for one look forward to the Britains first tiktok related rail disaster.

 

[Made In Wales]

I for one look forward to the Britains first tiktok related rail disaster.

18 year old autist: 'Ooo I cans drives Thomas tha Tank Engine in real life...'

*TOTAL BIRMINGHAM NEW STREET DEATH*

Could have been worse, a Nigger or Pajeet could have been at the controls.

 

[>IMPLYING]

18 year old autist: 'Ooo I cans drives Thomas tha Tank Engine in real life...'

*TOTAL BIRMINGHAM NEW STREET DEATH*

Could have been worse, a Nigger or Pajeet could have been at the controls.

If they come here in substantial numbers following the trade deal, we need to imitate the quality of the Indian railway network. Make them feel at home and all that.

 

[Made In Wales]

If they come here in substantial numbers following the trade deal, we need to imitate the quality of the Indian railway network. Make them feel at home and all that.

Agreed:

The 08:15 from Cardiff Central to London Paddington is now arriving on Platform 2...

 

[Special spoonie]

The line that “oh well we have this visa deal with 50 countries” so with India, it’s no big deal is pissing me off. Safe enough P/L. A long time ago I worked in banking and we used to outsource shit loads of work to pajeets. Lots of industries do the same thing. Now we are going to have the entire sector basically will be scrambling to set up even more Indian shell companies abroad and all the Brits will be pushed out. I genuinely think Starmer is retarded at this point. He literally couldn’t wait to brag about it in PMQs today. If even the tories, who would do anything for cheap business, didn’t want this, you know we are fucked.

 

[Cassius Crayfish]

I eagerly await the new 'Death In Paradise' spin off... 'Down Under In Paradise'.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Return_to_Paradise_(2024_TV_series)

 

[-Jack-]

The line that “oh well we have this visa deal with 50 countries” so with India, it’s no big deal is pissing me off. Safe enough P/L. A long time ago I worked in banking and we used to outsource shit loads of work to pajeets. Lots of industries do the same thing. Now we are going to have the entire sector basically will be scrambling to set up even more Indian shell companies abroad and all the Brits will be pushed out. I genuinely think Starmer is retarded at this point. He literally couldn’t wait to brag about it in PMQs today. If even the tories, who would do anything for cheap business, didn’t want this, you know we are fucked.

Shame your (most) comapnies only care about money, hire aBrtitish workers.

 

[>IMPLYING]

The line that “oh well we have this visa deal with 50 countries” so with India, it’s no big deal is pissing me off. Safe enough P/L. A long time ago I worked in banking and we used to outsource shit loads of work to pajeets. Lots of industries do the same thing. Now we are going to have the entire sector basically will be scrambling to set up even more Indian shell companies abroad and all the Brits will be pushed out. I genuinely think Starmer is retarded at this point. He literally couldn’t wait to brag about it in PMQs today. If even the tories, who would do anything for cheap business, didn’t want this, you know we are fucked.

It's so bizarre that this deal went ahead at all with those conditions when the government declared the "end of globalisation" just a month back, when the deal incentivises the movement of people to work in foreign markets. If it was just a negotiation and settlement on tariffs, that'd be one thing, but I think Starmer was so desperate for some kind of 'win' that he just wanted to strike a deal regardless of how much it shafts us, just so he could go, "Look, I did something good!" The fact India wouldn't agree to a deal unless it offered benefits for Indians who come here as an asterisk make the whole thing downright insidious from their end.
https://archive.is/1eqqj

One of the reasons the UK India free trade deal has taken so long to reach is that India had made big demands about visas for Indian professionals and students to work and study abroad.

The British government said this deal does not include any change in immigration policy, including towards Indian students studying in the UK.

But it does includes a three-year exemption on the social security paid by Indian employees working in the UK, on short-term visas.

This agreement, known as the Double Contribution Convention, designed to ensure social security contributions are not made in more than one country, was one of the elements India had pushed for during negotiations.

The UK's Business Secretary Jonathan Reynolds said the deal would make it easier for people with certain skills to work in the UK temporarily.

"It opens up a small number of visas from an existing route for chefs and musicians and yoga teachers, very, very small, about 1,800," he added.

What's especially annoying is that India wasn't even worth making a deal with in the grand scheme.

Last year trade between the UK and India totalled £42bn. The UK government has said this deal would boost that trade by an additional £25.5bn a year by 2040.

It is said over time it will boost the UK economy by £4.8bn. This is a tiny proportion of the UK economy which was worth £2,851bn last year.

However, India is also forecast to become the world's third-largest economy in a few years. It is also home to 1.45bn people - about 20 times the population of the UK -which is a lot of potential customers.

The UK is also a high priority trading partner for India, which has an ambitious target to grow exports by $1tn (£750bn) by 2030.

This carries with it the rather delusional inference that we'd benefit substantially from India's ambition, when in reality their long-term goal is to become the new sweat shop and mass production capital of the world and take China's spot. We'll see if the Trump tariffs bring that to fruition or not but I digress. Notice it says it'll boost that sector of the economy to 4.8 billion from 2.8 billion? You could translate that bump into the statement "We have almost doubled our income from trade and exports... by 2040." to make it sound good. This gives them something to tout in the GE, assuming it happens in '29 and not earlier. All it cost them to make such a statement in the future is bringing in even more Indians, sacrificing more domestic jobs to have them sent abroad, pissing all the opposition parties off, further incensing the Right, and prolonging Labour's continued losing streak on the back of their disastrous showing in the recent elections.

Their continued string of embarrassments is nearly enough to warrant pity, but they're not deserving of it, especially after this. The other shit they've done in recent memory was just impotent. Embarrassing not just for Labour but the rest of the country, but not as harmful to us as it could've been; the safety act that had Null block UK IPs has a watchdog complaining they can't actually do anything, for example.

This trade deal carries with it potential long-term consequences that a following government won't be able to undo. Free trade deals adhering to most WTO rules are indefinite, meaning that at bare minimum — assuming it has a review clause built-in to alter the deal — the conditions can't be altered until 2030 at the earliest (assuming they've put a 5-year term review in place) but it's here to stay unless either side terminates it. These deals usually require 6 months to a year notice before you can terminate them outright, but that's problematic regardless of who replaces Labour because doing so might negatively affect our relationship with India. So not only have Labour put our backs to the wall diplomatically, they could've fucked us domestically for the foreseeable future.

 

[Made In Wales]

Oh dear, I fear that the POOGALOO is here:

https://www.gbnews.com/news/india-pakistan-latest-london-protest-indian-embassy

This will only end with wide-scale dysentery.

 

[teriyakiburns]

Blow to clean energy drive as major windfarm ditched

tl;dr Hornsea off Yorkshire was going to be one of the largest windfarm developments in the world. It's now quite literally dead in the water, thanks to rising costs and cold feet by the suppliers. Nobody wants on-shore windfarms to begin with and all the best sites are already taken, meaning any new installations have to have greater capacity to make up for the shortfall in available energy. Labour staked much of their acceleration to net zero on Hornsea 4, so this cancellation is likely to send that entire policy into a terminal nosedive.

 

[Tom Nook's Gloryhole]

A part of me loves how Starmer is completely fucked. He can't go any further right as he'd isolate his core voters, he can't go further left or risk losing his centrist voters to other parties and he can't remain exactly where he is because he's getting fucked from all sides.

Not since May have I seen a leader that looked dead in the water, and honestly he's incredibly lucky he had the whole media on his side last Summer because he was on track to be gone ASAP had the Summer of Discontent rattled on further.

I'm going to add something else as well, you know what Kier inherited first of all when he came into power? An overcrowded prison's crisis where capacity was nearly at 100%. You'd think an ex lawyer and ex head of the CPS would be well versed in the justice sector and understand how the police->cps->courts->prison and probation network all link together. You'd think he'd be doing all he can to support a sector that is understaffed, underfunded and at breaking point... instead he raised National Insurance, raised minimum wage and cut Civil Service staffing numbers, so the entire MOJ (which is under the Civil Service by the way) was fucked on three fronts at a time where they needed as many resources as possible to unfuck the situation.

The fucker came in with specialised knowledge and somehow managed to fuck THAT sector. The guy is a complete and utter fucking retard.

 

[Made In Wales]

Blow to clean energy drive as major windfarm ditched

tl;dr Hornsea off Yorkshire was going to be one of the largest windfarm developments in the world. It's now quite literally dead in the water, thanks to rising costs and cold feet by the suppliers. Nobody wants on-shore windfarms to begin with and all the best sites are already taken, meaning any new installations have to have greater capacity to make up for the shortfall in available energy. Labour staked much of their acceleration to net zero on Hornsea 4, so this cancellation is likely to send that entire policy into a terminal nosedive.

There were also concerns about a wind farm being built off Northumbria going ahead in an area of outstanding natural beauty - hope that too is ditched.

Wales will no doubt axe their plans as well, and hopefully Rathbone PLC (a company owned by Senedd Member Jenny Rathbone, which is currently bullying National Resources Wales into building a wind farm on Tylorstown's old Coal Tip) will be investigated as well.

Starmer is now under pressure to U-turn on the Pensioner's payments, Blair's admitted Net Zero won't work and we still haven't filled Rachel Reeves' black hole (fiscally, of course!)

As @Tom Nook's Gloryhole points out, Starmer is retarded, but also he is stymied and cannot make anything work without it blowing up in his face.

 

[Crunkle]

With the general reaction to this India trade deal being almost universally hated by everyone, who do you think he's trying to fuck over here? I've heard whispers that Miliband could try a second run at PM.Yvette Cooper's name always gets raised positively but she's always hopped off the pot when it's time to shit.

Westminster and a good chunk of the public seem to like Streeting quite a lot, although being in health and controlling the NHS will likely lose him any campaign coming up to 2029. Also, no health secretary has ever been Prime Minister.

Jess Phillips gets a lot of cut-through but she'd start hurting the campaign if people were listening to her for weeks on end.
Rachel Reeves? Hilarious. She's more hated than Starmer (if anyone can recognise her).
David Lammy has no career prospects because he's intelligent enough to realise he'll never go higher; hence swanning in the private jets and luxury benefits now.

Miliband seems to be the only one there that voters recognise as a name, could probably put a face to the name (even if it is just: "Fuck, it's the bacon sandwich guy!"). This prospect disappears entirely if we get a power cut at any time between now and 2029. Will trigger the ye olde "back in my day when we last had Labour..." types as well as the zoomers who can't live without an electronic goyjail.

Any other names I might be missing? The current Labour frontbenches are so boring.

EDIT: I didn't even consider polling and a hypothetical election - almost ALL of the people above would lose their seat to Reform or the Tories.