The Horrors of the "Professional" World - Stories that will make you wonder how we exist.

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I'm trying to distract myself from my 80 hour workweek so I'll take a break to tell another anecdote.

I used to be a correctional officer, and the facility I worked at housed remanded inmates so we got all the newly arrested subjects off the street. I was working a unit in right in admissions and discharge (where they housed short term stays as well as overflow inmates until they could find another placement for them) and they brought in this Polish dude who didn't speak a word of English and assigned him to my unit. He had been taken down by a police dog which had bit his hand.

Now, the police should have checked the guy's hand out, given him medical attention, and signed off on that when admitting him. The COs responsible for his admission should likewise have checked him out and referred him to medical. But no, everyone up until the point he was dumped on me was either lazy or idiotic.

Shortly after they put the guy in (I didn't know about/notice the hand because injured and untreated inmates aren't supposed to be dumped into a goddamn unit) I went to do my unit round and another inmate came up to me and told me about the injury and said the guy really needed to get checked out. I examined the hand and it was bad; red and puffy with an obvious bite. I tried to reassure the Polish guy and communicate he'd get medical attention (to the best of my ability since I'm not a bloody translator) and thanked the inmate who brought it to my attention and likewise told him I'd inform medical and get him checked out.

I got back to the staff station and used the comm system to call medical. I barely got to say a thing while the psycho nurse berated me about how busy they were (I suspect it's because nursing grads are in demand enough they could work elsewhere and nobody wants to work in prisons, but we consistently had the worst, bitchiest, most nutcase nurses possible there). In spite of the bullshit, I did make sure to convey that the inmate's hand had been bitten by a police dog and needed to be checked out as soon as they had time.

The hours passed. Periodically I had an inmate come up to the staff station and express how pissed off they were that no medical assistance had been rendered, and that the guy was going to lose his hand. The hand got increasingly puffy and disgusting and swelled up to literally twice its initial size. I repeatedly contacted medical to request assistance and update them on the severity of the injury, and was screamed at in louder and more hostile terms every time. I tried speaking to other COs, including floor supervisors, and they claimed that the inmate was fucking with me and spoke perfect English and not to be a pussy bitch and get manipulated by inmates (when I could see the goddamn hand inflating like a balloon). The unit got tenser and tenser to the point where I felt a riot could break out at any point.

Finally, literally at the end of my shift, during the count (when the inmate count is confirmed during a shift change before the COs whose shifts are ending can leave) a nurse came down. For context, the inmate was admitted near the beginning of my 8 hour shift. The nurse took a look at the inmate for literally a second before screaming at me "this man needs to go to the hospital IMMEDIATELY!" in an incredulous tone, as if I was the fucking negligent idiot here and not the one who had been asking and begging and arguing with her to throw me a fucking bone and spend a minute checking this guy out for the entire goddamn shift. I was absolutely furious.

Because she waited until the count and no inmate movement was allowed during the count, the guy then needed to wait another half hour before they could take him out and bring him to the hospital (I had to wait around, unpaid of course, but that's definitely a secondary issue). I already hated that job but this was the moment when it became clear to me that quitting wasn't a matter of preference but necessity; the internal call system was not recorded and there was absolutely no doubt that if that guy lost his hand I'd be made the fall guy. Fuck that job, fuck the cops that brought that guy in, fuck the COs that admitted him, fuck the nurses that ignored me and pretended the lack of care was my fault, and fuck the supervisors who likewise ignored me and ridiculed my attempts to actually do my job unlike literally everyone else there.
 
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I was WFH years ago and the company I worked for shared a floor with another company. Between the two, there was only one unisex bathroom. You would think that two offices filled with well-paid professionals would be able to share a restroom with each other without incident, but that was not the case. One of my former co-workers began forwarding emails to me that contained correspondence between the building manager and the head of HR. It started off with just a couple of picky complaints about toilet paper bits on the ground, then there were complaints of the smell left when people from my company used the facilities. A can of air freshener was set out and the building manager asked everyone to use it after dropping a duce, but someone from my company emptied it in one day to be an asshole (allegedly). Sinks were left running, mirrors smeared, toilets left unflushed or were clogged - and then it finally happened, somebody shit in the middle of the floor. After that, people from my company were not allowed to use the restroom without a member of management accompanying them and waiting for them to finish. It was suspected by my manager that the prim and proper folks in the other office were the ones who shat on the floor in a desperate attempt to have us evicted. It did work in a way as our lease was not renewed.
 
If we're shifting into Poop Horror I got one:
I worked at Radio Cluster. Several stations sharing a building. One was Cheap Talk Station, one was Old People Music, one was Haitians. We shared a single bathroom. Many were very new to the USA. And needed help with concepts like "toilet paper" and "upon use the toilet paper goes down the toilet, not in the trash can". :cryblood:
 
The joy of demonstrating a piece of equipment to customers only to have it fail, SEVEN FUCKING TIMES in a row, and have engineering blow you off for three days because there's no possible way their new firmware could ever have any errors.




Error ended up being that the programmers accidentally added two numbers in the code that weren't supposed to be there, btw.
 
The joy of demonstrating a piece of equipment to customers only to have it fail, SEVEN FUCKING TIMES in a row, and have engineering blow you off for three days because there's no possible way their new firmware could ever have any errors.

Oh boy, I hear you on that, being a manager of the public-facing side of a company delivering experiences involving technical mechanisms to the public.

I get to deal with the public reaction to embarrassing situations where things fail, have shouting matches with the technical guys who get super defensive about their creations that simply do not work as intended and specified, and manage stressed out employees who fake their way through said situations by constantly jury-rigging and nonstop bitch to me about the necessity of repairs that are already on my radar. Good times.
 
My least favorite feature of programmers is their assumption that if their code compiled, it actually runs.

Anyone who has ever had a 3 a.m. call because the latest update doesn't even run knows what I'm talking about.
Theoretically the compiler is supposed to tell you this. Doesn't stop them from ignoring that shit.
 
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My least favorite feature of programmers is their assumption that if their code compiled, it actually runs.

Anyone who has ever had a 3 a.m. call because the latest update doesn't even run knows what I'm talking about.

I got my fat lazy ass out of bed to recount this story.

Two of my co-workers in my department (a department of 4 people) went on vacation together for the week. This turned out to be the busiest week in a long time, and I ended up pulling nearly 80 hours in one week.

I learned several things this week:

1) We've put an intern in charge of developing a mission critical piece of software
2) Said intern just writes code and pushes it to the production SVN
3) Intern pushes code at 9:35am on Monday.

Yeah.

Two team members out, the other member I work with is a fucking ADHD idiot who needs to be hand held through everything, and the entire office can't use our mission critical software on the first day of the busiest week we've had this year.
 
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My least favorite feature of programmers is their assumption that if their code compiled, it actually runs.

Anyone who has ever had a 3 a.m. call because the latest update doesn't even run knows what I'm talking about.
To this day, this triggers uzbek flashbacks for me.
Theoretically the compiler is supposed to tell you this. Doesn't stop them from ignoring that shit.
Depends on the language. Some languages can tell you about null pointers at compile time, some languages can't.
:heart-empty::heart-empty::heart-empty:
 
I was WFH years ago and the company I worked for shared a floor with another company. Between the two, there was only one unisex bathroom. You would think that two offices filled with well-paid professionals would be able to share a restroom with each other without incident, but that was not the case. One of my former co-workers began forwarding emails to me that contained correspondence between the building manager and the head of HR. It started off with just a couple of picky complaints about toilet paper bits on the ground, then there were complaints of the smell left when people from my company used the facilities. A can of air freshener was set out and the building manager asked everyone to use it after dropping a duce, but someone from my company emptied it in one day to be an asshole (allegedly). Sinks were left running, mirrors smeared, toilets left unflushed or were clogged - and then it finally happened, somebody shit in the middle of the floor. After that, people from my company were not allowed to use the restroom without a member of management accompanying them and waiting for them to finish. It was suspected by my manager that the prim and proper folks in the other office were the ones who shat on the floor in a desperate attempt to have us evicted. It did work in a way as our lease was not renewed.


I swear to God, they're like fucking animals. How the hell do supposedly educated people do stuff like this? A place I worked had a unisex setup like that and these nurses moved into the building and as soon as they did they'd leave the restroom in shambles. These are educated people with degrees who work in the medical field and should appreciate Western standards of cleanliness.
 
Common bathrooms in Office Complex:
[please don't flush paper towel down the urinal] sign goes ignored, urinal floods.
Repeats about ten times.
Our office gets a bitchy mail about it like we specifically go and do it and only us even thought there's a ton of offices on the floor.
Guy from our office who ran office buildings for years reminds them that there's those mesh covers and they could have prevented this for about a dollar.
Sign remains up. Mesh thing goes unbought.

At least the flooding eventually stopped. Probably was some client from one of the lawyers or something.
 
Common bathrooms in Office Complex:
[please don't flush paper towel down the urinal] sign goes ignored, urinal floods.
Repeats about ten times.
Our office gets a bitchy mail about it like we specifically go and do it and only us even thought there's a ton of offices on the floor.
Guy from our office who ran office buildings for years reminds them that there's those mesh covers and they could have prevented this for about a dollar.
Sign remains up. Mesh thing goes unbought.

At least the flooding eventually stopped. Probably was some client from one of the lawyers or something.

I have a washroom story from today as well.

I went to the washroom this morning and as I was sitting down on the toilet, I was struck by a strong smell of shit, like far, far worse than what someone would normally encounter in a washroom. This made me feel very sick and I tried to get out of there as quickly as I could, wondering why the smell was so strong. As I was pulling up my pants I noticed that there was a piece of paper towel sticking out from the stall next to me, and then I realized what was going on.

Apparently the guy in the stall next to me was shitting on the floor onto paper towels, then he would flush it down the toilet.

I really hope I never have to encounter someone with such fucked up washroom habits IRL ever again.
 
I have a washroom story from today as well.

I went to the washroom this morning and as I was sitting down on the toilet, I was struck by a strong smell of shit, like far, far worse than what someone would normally encounter in a washroom. This made me feel very sick and I tried to get out of there as quickly as I could, wondering why the smell was so strong. As I was pulling up my pants I noticed that there was a piece of paper towel sticking out from the stall next to me, and then I realized what was going on.

Apparently the guy in the stall next to me was shitting on the floor onto paper towels, then he would flush it down the toilet.

I really hope I never have to encounter someone with such fucked up washroom habits IRL ever again.
wait, what? WHY? I don't understand why people suddenly turn into troglodytes when in a public restroom.
 
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wait, what? WHY? I don't understand why people suddenly turn into troglodytes when in a public restroom.

I can honestly say that I've never been more disgusted in my life than I was earlier today. I never saw the guy's face (mainly because I just wanted to GTFO before I puked all over the place), but all I knew was that he was wearing brightly colored sneakers, which could be any number of people here, honestly.

I'm gonna have some terrible dreams tonight...
 
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