🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[Pelican Bones]

He's realized he fucked a tranny hooker down in Coloombia and now he's too shook to risk going and buying more. Gun shy! Sad! Pathetic!

 

[sufferhorse]

Fuentes will not take you back Ralph, and your audience does not pay you to larp as a religious guy. Youve done it already, and it didnt pay out

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

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Aw, his trap prostitute Colombian brainiac girlfriend turned him down for a visit. :-((((

 

[Douglas Mortimer]

Rebuild Ralph phase is always hilarious. He's done this exact same thing like 20 times now.

 

[Um...]

I want it to be featured... "Ethan Ralph vows to go into celibacy"...

Like he hasn’t already been an incel for years.

Also: ‘focus on what I have’ ? What is that, exactly? This pig has nothing, literally NOTHING.

 

[not william stenchever]

Nothing was ever a "werk". It's his version of "I was just pretending to be retarded" and he'll use it as long as there are people who believe he is deliberately coming up with dumb tricks. When things don't go well or smooth he calls it work. That's it, always was.

The Ralphamale's final words: "The Aristocrats"

 

[Truly Rural]

Like he hasn’t already been an incel for years.

Also: ‘focus on what I have’ ? What is that, exactly? This pig has nothing, literally NOTHING.

He has cats. There's some Buddhist monk on YT who says "If you are an insufferable arrogant ragepig, go pet a cat till the broomstick drops out of your ass" I am paraphrasing.

 

[Delany's Donkey]

Ralph just get a US based part time job.
Maybe a call center job or something else and work from home.
Continue living in Mexico to keep your cost of living down, do 5 shows a week that is structured with real topics to talk about and earn good money with that.

Boom. All problems in the world solved.

nigga, do you really think anyone would hire this guy to interact with their customers?

 

[Die For Me!]

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Ralph confirmed at the bare minimum, begging God multiple times not to die on his attempts to get home. holy fucking shit

 

[Cucktry Roads]

(Haven't gotten to post this in like....6 months!)

Born in West Memphis in eighty-five
A fat-gunted ragehog named Ethan Ralph
He loves to fight but he loves one thing more
Guntin' Round The World

He gunts his detractors and he gunts his fans
It's a problem no one understands
If there's two things he loves it's fighting and
Guntin' Round The World

Popin' xannies, thumbin' butts and
Gunt-in' Round The World!
Ethan Ralph!

 

[MadStan]

Oh this is too much.. He adabones his children and feels he’s done it all by fathering two children which he doesn’t support.

He doesn’t need a “come to Jesus moment” he needs a “come back to reality” moment.

Don’t change Ralph.

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

nigga, do you really think anyone would hire this guy to interact with their customers?
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"Matter fact, if I had to guess it's probably you who double charged my credit card!"

 

[Um...]

Ralph confirmed at the bare minimum, begging God multiple times not to die on his attempts to get home. holy fucking shit

And his takeaway from all this is ‘ah’m gonna be CELIBATE.’

 

[HackerX]

It's still amazing he's alive and acts boastful after all the ass beatings he had on the streets

It really is remarkable. The ultimate lolcow equilibrium. He's got just enough agency to put himself in the most unenviable situations imaginable, but only enough capacity to inevitably make the worst decisions possible without dying.

 

[lowly kiwi merchant]

He must have sent some insane simp messages to linx.

Him talking about 2C research chemical drugs on Mersh show makes that sad clip of him trying to rap to God's Plan on the Colombian CUCK couch make more sense. 2C can be very similar to LSD. He should do more of it and stream.

 

[Schpoots]

I don't have the energy to pretend he will succeed or fail because the outcome is boring and repititive regardless.

 

[Mr. Manchester]

God damn it, pretend sober Ralph is boring. I'll be back when he gets to the, "Ahm not drunk oh high, Ahm jussssss tired..." phase.

 

[HackerX]

God damn it, pretend sober Ralph is boring. I'll be back when he gets to the, "Ahm not drunk oh high, Ahm jussssss tired..." phase.

Then blaming it on Ambien or some shit because Ralph thinks misusing drugs sounds better than admitting he's back on the pills/booze.

 

[break these cuffs]

We love our Gunts, our Ralphamales
We love our Hogs, they're hilarious

 

[Ultrapenguin]

Why's he going celibate?

Either he banged a dude or he's got an STD. Regret's definitely involved somehow.