How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[VIPPER?]

I know it's a bad time but I'm gonna complain anyway; I feel both useless and unfulfilled at work. I'm treated as useful and that seems incorrect; I'm not very good in my core trade as a radioman, I'm not a very good IT monkey, and the tasks I keep getting are always side stuff I am objectively absolutely not suited for. Usually shit that requires Knowing A Guy or having intimate contact with some esoteric out-of-my-trade system. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, don't know how I'd even learn quickly, and know it'll be a disaster. But they pay me for it, and my mercenary(not edgy i swear(would you turn down pay)) nature doesn't let me say no.

E: I am reminded of a time at basic (bear with me here) where we had performance evaluations as they would be in any other setting; they asked me what I was having trouble with, and I said something like
"I never know what's going on. I can prepare myself for whatever happens, but I have no clue what to expect."
They told me that if I can't cope with that feeling, I should pick a different career. I've been in the forces for over 10 years now. I hate it. It has been my pet peeve this entire time that such a large organization is incapable of basic planning or even scheduling.

 

[Overly Serious]

Someone did something nice for me the other day and I've just found out about it. Not looking for anything, not obliged - just genuine altruism and act of kindness on their part. I am genuinely struggling to think of the last time someone just went out of their way to help me, proactively, not asked.

It's really lifted my spirits.

 

[JustStopDude]

So I've been resigned to have to move across the US, from the East coast, to Utah for work. I haven't told them yes yet.

Spoiler: Rant about deciding on a job

I have been just packing my stuff and getting rid of shit since I lost my job like 3 weeks ago.

Their offer is fair and I've done work with this company in the past, helping them out as they were one of the integrators we used in the West Coast for our VFD's and what not. I already know most of their staff.

Out of the blue, a company in Atlanta contacted me two days ago. A big international firm, wanting me to make engineering training material and whatnot for them.

Utah job is $115k, but if I don't make enough billable hours, it's a base line of $140k. I could end getting a lot more for that, living out of a work truck doing commissioning work and whatnot on equipment I'm already an expert on. But I got to move to Utah. I got to sell/rent my house.

The new offer is $115k. That is it, but it's remote with regular travel to Atlanta, where the office would be out of that I would support. Also a $5k sign on bonus. I don't know anything about their equipment. I would have to spin myself up as fast as possible. No field work. But I keep my house.

I'm paralyzed in trying to make a decisions. I have had a dull, throbbing headache for days trying to deal with the stress.

I really love where I live. But I also don't like the idea of completely learning new equipment. I like doing field work. I don't like working from home as I find managers always abuse the home/work life divide. I also find that a lot of companies that promise remote work quickly renig on that offer.

The Utah company is a lot smaller. It's a family run outfit of Mormons. Like I don't think they are even capable of sarcasm let alone lying about their offer. My old company was an international engineering firm that basically fucked me over and is in the process of fucking over the remaining employees. The Atlanta company feels almost too much like my last job, like a massive soulless corporation. The way I got burned, it was like getting hit by a car and I'm still trying to process this shit.

I just wish that one of these offers was complete garbage so the decision would be easier.

 

[Second Alter Ego]

I got shitfaced and took a nap and woke up in DPH spider hell. I have never done deliriants I have only seen pictures before. It took like 10 minutes for the giant fucking nests of spiders in all the corners to go away. I am not supposed to be drinking on these meds

Day 2: more and bigger spiders, huge fucking black hairy spiders wider than a dinner plate and they lasted a couple hours and I only had watered down beer

 

[Ratboy Genius]

Has anyone got any advice for forcing yourself to go to bed at a good time? I am stuck in the vicious cycle of stay up too late/wake up too late/take naps/repeat...

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

I am an eccentric who has lived through a ton of weird shit and no one really knows who I am and it is very lonely.

 

[Black Hole Vacation]

I'm only happy when I'm distracted from reality.

 

[Lukie]

Has anyone got any advice for forcing yourself to go to bed at a good time? I am stuck in the vicious cycle of stay up too late/wake up too late/take naps/repeat...

Sleep hygiene is your friend, friend.

Specifically for you I'd say try and go out and get some gentle exercise, wash your face with cold water when you think you want to nap. Try getting up an hour earlier each day until you're at acceptable waking levels.

Also a short term use of sleeping pills can help kick start it but don't use longer than 3 days.

 

[⋖ cørdion ⋗]

Has anyone got any advice for forcing yourself to go to bed at a good time? I am stuck in the vicious cycle of stay up too late/wake up too late/take naps/repeat...

Quit caffeine or at the very least drink your last at 2pm. Install orange filters on all your screens; my Lux on my desktop gets so bad I can barely tell what I'm looking at by the time I need to go to bed. Don't eat close to bedtime; going to bed semi-hungry is perfectly fine too. I can really feel when I've eaten at 6-7pm when I'm going to bed at 9:30pm, usually half of the next day as well.

Romanticize getting up early. I can be gamed out and done with my chores by 10AM on a day off and feel like "Whew, must be 4pm by now!". It's very inspiring. Likewise, eating dinner early means I got 4-5 hours of no consumption before bed, meaning I got practically 5 hours to do other stuff. Play, chores, read, whatever. It means I'm literally bored into going to bed by the time I have to.

That live-forever millionaire guy says basing his life around his sleep is the best thing you can do. Read up on any "I sleep 7 hours a day AMA" thread and you'll find plenty of people who achieve this with very little effort. I initially thought going to bed early and watching the telly for an hour was better than going straight bed later, but it isn't.

It's actually nuts how few things you need to do to sleep well. I have coworkers who don't put in any effort and they can wake up tired as hell on a normal wednesday. "No phone in bed, no screens an hour before, drink latest an hour before bed and eat latest 3-4 hours before". Do those and your quality goes up by probably 80%, but yknow. It's boring and hard.

Also, watch this. It's genuinely good TV but also very useful. "Oh no i've had amnesia for 3 decades!" >induce sleep debt for a week, crash, stick to schedule: Fixed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QkwPYsfg7q8

 

[Myra]

Been busy gardening and yesterday I discovered that a duck had laid eggs in the mulch next to my patio. I am concerned for their well-being because of the number of predators in the area. I moved all my tools to the other side of the patio so as not to bother her. Just hoping they will get a chance to hatch.



Edited to add: When I came home this afternoon all the eggs were gone - shells and all.

 

[obsdj]

Been busy gardening and yesterday I discovered that a duck had laid eggs in the mulch next to my patio. I am concerned for their well-being because of the number of predators in the area. I moved all my tools to the other side of the patio so as not bother her. Just hoping they will get a chance to hatch.

If they are wild muscovy ducks, you'd be better off just taking the eggs and using them to bake with (they do not fry or scramble well, but they make rich brownies, etc.). Those fuckers are the most disgusting, not protected in this country except for a couple of counties in south TX, drives away native waterfowl, aggressive, invasive, shit monsters you'll ever meet. Cute when they hatch, but fuck me they are nasty creatures when they grow up.

But if they're good animals like wood ducks or what have you, yeah maybe put up a piece of chicken wire as a screen or something.

 

[Imperial Commandos]

I don’t get why fandoms are so toxic, largely made up of cliques that gatekeep and control discourse to push off-topic political and gender ideologies instead of celebrating the media. It’s strange when normie groups wouldn’t tolerate this, yet expect anyone who stumbles into their digital fiefdoms they've co-opted to just accept it and their false narratives about a "lack of interest". When in reality they fucking banned everyone.

I’ve relearned how to enjoy things on my own and still find personal meaning in them, but the lack of community and sincerity from others makes me question why I bother. It’s frustrating when hypocrites shill therapy as a passive-aggressive way to exclude you, only to turn around and trauma dump about their mental health issues and circlejerk about it on completely unrelated communities about fictional media.

 

[BABANGUIDE64]

Found a couple of minutes to throw a dead pigeon away from the balcony.
Not the first time. Two previous pigeons from the last year's season had a nesting stage before they turned into a carrion, so I promised myself that every new nest I see on a balcony will be thrown away. But this one chum managed to die on a balcony without intermediate steps.
They learn, they evolve, they mutate...

 

[BABANGUIDE64]

I don’t get why fandoms are so toxic, largely made up of cliques that gatekeep and control discourse to push off-topic political and gender ideologies instead of celebrating the media.

Why do fandoms exist in the first place?

 

[Brett DeLawyer]

Twice in a row my doctor’s office has scheduled me for appointments that are impossible for their office to fulfill that I only found out about after arriving for said appointment.

Was visibly irritated but polite and all the doctor had to say was “I don’t know what to tell you.” This last one was an extremely time-critical appointment that is now pushed out two entire months. Zero help fixing this from the office, just the doctor saying “I don’t know what to tell you,” “you must’ve misunderstood,” (I didn’t,) and “oh, the front desk has a lot of turnaround, it’s probably them.”

Trying to scramble and find a different office that works out of the same hospital, but I’m not hopeful. The absolute state of healthcare in this country.

 

[AnOminous]

Those fuckers are the most disgusting, not protected in this country except for a couple of counties in south TX, drives away native waterfowl, aggressive, invasive, shit monsters you'll ever meet. Cute when they hatch, but fuck me they are nasty creatures when they grow up.

I hate those things. They also chase off the ducks you actually want. And they preferentially shit ALL OVER anything remotely resembling yard furniture. Filthy animals.

 

[Super Guido]

Edited to add: When I came home this afternoon all the eggs were gone - shells and all.

Maybe it was a weasel?

 

[Ughubughughughughughghlug]

I don't want to be awake right now but I have no interest in going to bed.

 

[Ratboy Genius]

Quit caffeine or at the very least drink your last at 2pm. Install orange filters on all your screens; my Lux on my desktop gets so bad I can barely tell what I'm looking at by the time I need to go to bed. Don't eat close to bedtime; going to bed semi-hungry is perfectly fine too. I can really feel when I've eaten at 6-7pm when I'm going to bed at 9:30pm, usually half of the next day as well.

Romanticize getting up early. I can be gamed out and done with my chores by 10AM on a day off and feel like "Whew, must be 4pm by now!". It's very inspiring. Likewise, eating dinner early means I got 4-5 hours of no consumption before bed, meaning I got practically 5 hours to do other stuff. Play, chores, read, whatever. It means I'm literally bored into going to bed by the time I have to.

That live-forever millionaire guy says basing his life around his sleep is the best thing you can do. Read up on any "I sleep 7 hours a day AMA" thread and you'll find plenty of people who achieve this with very little effort. I initially thought going to bed early and watching the telly for an hour was better than going straight bed later, but it isn't.

It's actually nuts how few things you need to do to sleep well. I have coworkers who don't put in any effort and they can wake up tired as hell on a normal wednesday. "No phone in bed, no screens an hour before, drink latest an hour before bed and eat latest 3-4 hours before". Do those and your quality goes up by probably 80%, but yknow. It's boring and hard.

Also, watch this. It's genuinely good TV but also very useful. "Oh no i've had amnesia for 3 decades!" >induce sleep debt for a week, crash, stick to schedule: Fixed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QkwPYsfg7q8

I am bookmarking this post and making mental notes. Thank you so much. If you don't mind a followup question, what is the best time of day to do exercise that will help you sleep?

 

[Rebecca_of_Kiwi_Farm]

I don't want to be awake right now but I have no interest in going to bed.

I could understand that feeling, the sooner you go to bed is the sooner you must get up to face tomorrow, and if tomorrow isn't looking so good you might not be eager to get to bed so soon.