Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Daddy Strokum]

... him legitimately getting angry when his mommy wife didn't praise it, and he desperately crowed how it was at least as good as the kraft stuff.

Which one was that? I like watching his interactions with Hammy. Besides their bickering, I love how in many JOTG episodes Jack interviews Tammy and repeats all her answers back to us like we can't hear her. I don't know if that's why he does it or if his narcissism compels him to repeat it because he needs the final word.

 

[Adamska]

Which one was that? I like watching his interactions with Hammy. Besides their bickering, I love how in many JOTG episodes Jack interviews Tammy and repeats all her answers back to us like we can't hear her. I don't know if that's why he does it or if his narcissism compels him to repeat it because he needs the final word.

Here is the video where he uses cheese balls, says the recipe looks horrible, and then tries to pretend it's good simply because this stupid motherfucker cooked it.

 

[Daddy Strokum]

Here is the video where he uses cheese balls, says the recipe looks horrible, and then tries to pretend it's good simply because this stupid motherfucker cooked it.

Un-fucking-believable. He used to say when shit he cooked was crap, but it seems like lately anything he makes, no matter how objectively vile it is, gets a A rating from him. I don't remember the last time he said anything he made was bad. Maybe he realizes his 'brand' is severely failing and thinks he needs to hype his recipes to keep his 'fans' optimistic.

I don't have Facebook or Twitter or anything like that. I only follow Jack on the toobz. Does he have a an actual fan base on one of those other platforms? He talks like he does, but I don't think he has a single legitimate fan on youtube anymore. Who does he think he's creating content for?

 

[Marc]

Jack's too far gone to admit that the audience in his head doesn't exist outside of it, or that people are only bothering to tune in to see how horrible he manages to be at everything while pretending otherwise.

One of my personal cows is a more extreme example of this delusional behavior; and regularly gives Youtube "state of the channel" updates, makes time to thank all their fans, teases upcoming, requested content, and gives shout-outs for "all the moral support" they've received over the years. But none of these people exist: Their subscribers are a few bots and me, and there have never been interactions between them and this presumed audience; because they've had all comments on their videos and community posts disabled for at least eleven years, during which time they've convinced themselves that their celebrity reputation grows more with each day and video. They most recently announced a "hiatus" (during which time they tried and failed to launch an "asexual" cult around a photo of themselves with mold growing in their nose) - as though their devoted, non-subscribing audience plans their lives around their favorite Youtuber's erratic upload schedule in which they occasionally point an iPhone camera at themselves in portrait mode while going on TDS rants fueled by sleep deprivation. They also do "comedy skits" - One of which consisted of themselves yelling "female genital mutilation" into their phone's camera until it fogged up.

Another cow used to stream on Twitch somewhat regularly, before finally managing to get a real life in the form of a job teaching other peoples' children at a public school. Prior to that, they would do holiday-themed Twitch streams to zero people while addressing them as though they were in the room with them. At one point, they even decided their calling was doing cooking streams; with Jack-like results: They once did an easter stream in which they demonstrated how to make easter eggs - despite never having made them in their life, being thoroughly confused to learn that chicken eggs had shell colors other than white, and admitting that they "normally" just silently watch their cousins make easter eggs. At the time of this stream, they were thirty four years old. Delusions of grandeur aside, they can be thankful no one but me actually witnessed this humiliation (at one point during the easter egg-dying, they abruptly suggested the "audience" instead look at their crotch, and pointed to it).

For "content creators" such as Jack Scalfani and those others mentioned, the Youtube channel exists purely as the toy they prefer to pick up when playing pretend by themselves. And the consequences of their neurotic priorities and alienating behaviors have left the real world a place they never wish to live or participate in - Meaning that, any time reality intrudes, it's the rudest of awakenings for them.

Please browse through the last few months of horrifying Cooking with Jack Youtube video thumbnails, and realize that Jack endorsed every, single one as "This is AMAZING, guiize." If you ask him, he can do no wrong. But just looking at him paints a different picture, and he knows it.

 

[p1138]

Which one was that? I like watching his interactions with Hammy. Besides their bickering, I love how in many JOTG episodes Jack interviews Tammy and repeats all her answers back to us like we can't hear her. I don't know if that's why he does it or if his narcissism compels him to repeat it because he needs the final word.

It's definitely narcissism. If it were simply that he assumed Tammy couldn't be heard, he wouldn't need to tell her how to eat the damned food as if she's somehow out of practice with regard to eating, as fat as she is. Even in the cheeseball video Adamska linked, Fatty has to tell Tammy to blow on the food and that it was still warm. As if this fat woman in her 50s couldn't fucking determine that on her own? And he does this constantly. "Eat the sauce, make sure you dip it, does it have enough sauce? Is that the right sauce? You didn't taste the sauce by itself" is practically in every fat on the go. Every now and then Tammy snaps back at him on camera when be spoken to like a 5 year old, but it's pretty rare but Fatty just moves along and thinks nothing of it. We know she berates him off camera when he randomly posts on social media how much he loves his mommy-wife for a couple days and then goes back to attempting to farm engagement while bitching about engagement farming.

I don't have Facebook or Twitter or anything like that. I only follow Jack on the toobz. Does he have a an actual fan base on one of those other platforms? He talks like he does, but I don't think he has a single legitimate fan on youtube anymore. Who does he think he's creating content for?

He's got a few people on his FB groups and that follow him on twitter that seem to be retarded enough to be fans of his. But we're talking in the low double digits at this point.

 

[Slavic Patronym]

He finally (barely) admitted he was wrong but turned it on everyone else claiming we had a "hard on" for the ordeal

His word choice has become a lot more vulgar lately. For years Jack (with an almost cringe level of dedication) has propped himself up as some Christian bastion: no drinking, no cursing, a Bible channel, the always-visible cross necklace, movie reviews that care about violence and cursing and nudity. He'd go out of his way to say, "Oh my gosh," which I thought was him trying to (show-offily, of course) comply with the third commandment. "Food, Family, and Fun," etc. It's all been kind of muscularly Christian.

But something's changed. I don't even watch the livestreams that much but I've now heard Jack say:

• he thought he was "going to have to beat [some guy's] ass" back in California
• "Fuuuuuuck" in an exasperated way during a gaming-related FAIF
• this claim that viewers "had a hard-on" for seeing him struggle
• that Junior and Brianna had "pulled the goalie"

None of this is offensive, per se -- you'll hear worse walking through Philly for 10 minutes -- it's just noticeable compared to his larp. It's probably a blend of having much more facetime with Charles (who curses like a mall ninja) and Jack's own failing brain. Even one stroke can short-circuit your emotions and behavior. Jack's had, what, five?

I don't have Facebook or Twitter or anything like that. I only follow Jack on the toobz. Does he have a an actual fan base on one of those other platforms?

Absolutely not. The only people who (barely) interact with him on Facebook are family friends and highly skilled trolls. And on Twitter he is trolled so much more openly and mercilessly that he rage-privates his account once a month or so.

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

His word choice has become a lot more vulgar lately. For years Jack (with an almost cringe level of dedication) has propped himself up as some Christian bastion: no drinking, no cursing, a Bible channel, the always-visible cross necklace, movie reviews that care about violence and cursing and nudity. He'd go out of his way to say, "Oh my gosh," which I thought was him trying to (show-offily, of course) comply with the third commandment. "Food, Family, and Fun," etc. It's all been kind of muscularly Christian.

But something's changed. I don't even watch the livestreams that much but I've now heard Jack say:

• he thought he was "going to have to beat [some guy's] ass" back in California
• "Fuuuuuuck" in an exasperated way during a gaming-related FAIF
• this claim that viewers "had a hard-on" for seeing him struggle
• that Junior and Brianna had "pulled the goalie"

None of this is offensive, per se -- you'll hear worse walking through Philly for 10 minutes -- it's just noticeable compared to his larp. It's probably a blend of having much more facetime with Charles (who curses like a mall ninja) and Jack's own failing brain. Even one stroke can short-circuit your emotions and behavior. Jack's had, what, five?


Absolutely not. The only people who (barely) interact with him on Facebook are family friends and highly skilled trolls. And on Twitter he is trolled so much more openly and mercilessly that he rage-privates his account once a month or so.

Ah that linked article must be the origins of nevergoon.


But musclechurch is for everyone…..


It would be funny (and based) if the audience got Jack to read a question about nevergoon. Preferably with pseudo intellectual Charles, and not frank who seems to be at least tangently aware of overlapping online culture.

 

[AnOminous]

Here is the video where he uses cheese balls, says the recipe looks horrible, and then tries to pretend it's good simply because this stupid motherfucker cooked it.

He completely seethes that Hammy obviously hates it and says the "sauce" is water.

Also wtf kind of retard recipe even is this? Who possibly thought this was a good idea? Cobes-tier shit.

 

[souschef]

Also wtf kind of retard recipe even is this? Who possibly thought this was a good idea? Cobes-tier shit.

Making cheese sauce with corn based junk food is a genius move. We're talking real alchemist shit here, and can't properly grasp Jack's process

 

[TheMovieGuy]

He completely seethes that Hammy obviously hates it and says the "sauce" is water.

Also wtf kind of retard recipe even is this? Who possibly thought this was a good idea? Cobes-tier shit.

My guess as to the thought process would have to be

"Chee baw mayk wiwf chee macr oni baw wike kraff.g..?"

 

[The Stranger]

#1 rule: feed the wendigo

 

[TheMovieGuy]

I love jack scalfani

 

[Ihatejackscalfani]

The AI created closed captioning was great on this one.

 

[a terminal posture]

The AI created closed captioning was great on this one.

youtube's auto-generated captions are way more accurate, don't know what the thought process was for.... wait I forgot it's Jack Scalfani, there was none.

 

[Pig Cups]

Un-fucking-believable. He used to say when shit he cooked was crap, but it seems like lately anything he makes, no matter how objectively vile it is, gets a A rating from him. I don't remember the last time he said anything he made was bad.

This is the most recent example I’m aware of, and it’s 3 years old. He’s more than comfortable to admit that this one bombed.

I like how he compares it to chewing on a sock that spent 3 months in a high school locker room. He then compares it to the taste of a jockstrap, before hurriedly insisting that he’s never ackshually tasted one.

Sure, Jack. I wonder what other locker room antics the boys in high school subjected him to? Something tells me that his knees and mouth were often quite sore after gym class.

One of my personal cows is a more extreme example of this delusional behavior; …………………………..
They also do "comedy skits" - One of which consisted of themselves yelling "female genital mutilation" into their phone's camera until it fogged up.

Oh god…who is this?? I would like to give them a look out of pure morbid curiosity.

"Chee baw mayk wiwf chee macr oni baw wike kraff.g..?"[OBJ][OBJ]

FTFY.

 

[Daddy Strokum]

I love jack scalfani

Lmao at the shot at 1:22 of Hammy in the window reflection exerting herself to open the door and heft his wheelchair through it.

 

[Adamska]

Making cheese sauce with corn based junk food is a genius move. We're talking real alchemist shit here, and can't properly grasp Jack's process

My guess as to the thought process would have to be

"Chee baw mayk wiwf chee macr oni baw wike kraff.g..?"

I did try to play devil's advocate for the idea when I autopsied it, but I rejected it since the corn meal, oils, and whey in them would not properly turn into a roux if mashed up and blended. Proportions are wrong, and the corn doesn't blend right. Doesn't help it's already cooked.

There was a logic in the idea, the problem was it ignored those elements and was probably just a shitty life hack grift that you see on crappy shorts.

I love jack scalfani

Not only is that a horrible fucking shot of the food, but it also is something I'd never want from Subways.

Also their bread is so full of sugar it's actually classified as a dessert Jack. Great choice to do cuck food porn with your wife while pretending to diet fatboy.

 

[souschef]

Also their bread is so full of sugar it's actually classified as a dessert Jack. Great choice to do cuck food porn with your wife while pretending to diet fatboy.

Everything in subway is either too sugary or too bland. No matter how you make the sandwich it will taste the same. Taste like the sauces you choose, that is. The bread is really bad too. Anyone here could do better

 

[desudesu]

This is the most recent example I’m aware of, and it’s 3 years old. He’s more than comfortable to admit that this one bombed.

I like how he compares it to chewing on a sock that spent 3 months in a high school locker room. He then compares it to the taste of a jockstrap, before hurriedly insisting that he’s never ackshually tasted one.

Current, established actual Youtube chefs: 1. Trial it with a test round (maybe film it as an "outtake"). 2. See how it turns out. 3. Do it a second time for the actual shot to be edited and uploaded.

Jack Scalfatty: 1. FUCK IT WE'LL DO IT LIVE. 2. *winces a bit while eating it* 3. Dis is a homerun reshibee...Taste gud.

 

[AnOminous]

I like how he compares it to chewing on a sock that spent 3 months in a high school locker room. He then compares it to the taste of a jockstrap, before hurriedly insisting that he’s never ackshually tasted one.

I don't like how he starts it out with boasting about how he abuses and torments his dog.