Jason Thor Hall / PirateSoftware / Maldavius Figtree / DarkSphere Creations / Maldavius / Thorwich / Witness X / @PotatoSec - Incompetent Furry Programmer, Blizzard Nepo Baby, Lies about almost every thing in his life, Industry Shill, Carried by his father, Hate boner against Ross Scott of Accursed Farms, False Flagger

[Maldavius Figtree]

First review above is 100% ChatGPT (still based tho). Last review is perfection.

 

[Nothing Is Written]

I'm starting to think he's not rescuing ferrets.

 

[potato sack]

How does he think that forum page looks?

like a badge of honor cos that faggot use to work as a banbot

i have never seen someone unironically talk so much about how many people they were banning like they're proud of it

 

[Jarch6]

First review above is 100% ChatGPT (still based tho). Last review is perfection.

I can see it with the “body text -> suggestion” formatting, but otherwise I don’t see any telltale signs of AI writing.

>Called a Ferret rescue
>all the ferrets keep dying
What the fuck is his problem

Are ferrets that fragile or is he fucking something up mighty fierce for this ostensibly high frequency of deaths?

 

[my penis is on fire]

Are ferrets that fragile or is he fucking something up mighty fierce for this ostensibly high frequency of deaths?

Ferrets really are that fragile. They have short lifespans, weak immune systems, and often have problems with being obligate carnivores. The issue isn't the frequency of deaths, but that Mald views his collection of ferrets as his personal menagerie and not as a pet rescue where sick and dying animals are entrusted to their care.

 

[BiggestBuford]

I can see it with the “body text -> suggestion” formatting, but otherwise I don’t see any telltale signs of AI writing.


Are ferrets that fragile or is he fucking something up mighty fierce for this ostensibly high frequency of deaths?

According to Google, ferrets live between 5 - 10 years and about half of all ferrets, if not closer to 70%, develop some form of cancer after 3 years old. So yeah these little rodents get sick very often.

 

[MercuryMan]

According to Google, ferrets live between 5 - 10 years and about half of all ferrets, if not closer to 70%, develop some form of cancer after 3 years old. So yeah these little rodents get sick very often.

Ferrets really are that fragile. They have short lifespans, weak immune systems, and often have problems with being obligate carnivores. The issue isn't the frequency of deaths, but that Mald views his collection of ferrets as his personal menagerie and not as a pet rescue where sick and dying animals are entrusted to their care.

Mayflies or not, it's still bizarre.
I'd be interested in knowing how real rescues deal with ill ferrets because Jason never puts them down, he lets them suffer the full extent of their cancer.
Funds obviously isn't an issue. He boasts about covering expensive surgeries and the post-surgery is never successful?

 

[Shekel Puff]

Just to be fair to Maldy (even though I believe he doesn't deserve it) I've pulled also the three positive reviews from that time period. Like I said, I'll try to occasionally do a roundup of Steam reviews here, as there may be some golden nuggets here and there.

First we have some standard dickriders.

Spoiler

And last but not least the epitome of competent and informative game reviews.

Spoiler

 

[JJLiautaud]

Some fat gay retard put out a vid on Maldtree.

 

[Nothing Is Written]

I can see it with the “body text -> suggestion” formatting, but otherwise I don’t see any telltale signs of AI writing.

It's just formatted well I think. Tell-tale signs are long hyphens, short and complete sentences with full stops and very little advanced syntax, and persistent tense.

 

[McSneaks]

>Called a Ferret rescue
>all the ferrets keep dying
What the fuck is his problem

Rescuing them from the burden of existence. He's basically the Canadian government at this point

 

[Roachbound]

Some fat gay retard put out a vid on Maldtree.

check 6 mins in this video to find some gooning reference, immediately can't wait for SFO to be put in the same hypergooner category as vaush and destiny, (if he isn't already, I barely follow breadtube)

Good video from him overall, though the scale of Mald's bullshit is limited to only wow hc, which has led to Mald's fans defending him in the comment to mild success as a result. If any of the other stuff was in there they wouldn't show up.

 

[TrainWreckWatcher]

Some fat gay retard put out a vid on Maldtree.

God I don't know who I hate more SFO or Mald.
If they both died that'd be nice.

 

[Lagomorph Guy]

How the hell do you guys hate watch this guy? I get the entertainment value of following a guy like Yandev because his degenerate behavior is hilarious, but the only entertaining parts about Mald are when he gets publicly shit on by other streamers (which is a natural outcome of being exposed to people like this for long enough) and speculation about him sticking things up his butthole.

At least with Yandev, all of his famous degen moments are right in front of a camera or microphone for you to see. If he were just some egotistical indie dev that never worked on his game, he would vanish into a sea of other indie devs that do the exact same shit. It is literally 90% of indie devs. The ones that actually put a game out are the minority.

Like I enjoy checking this thread whenever some new drama blows up in his face and everyone starts kicking him, but I don't understand watching this guy's streams consistently out of spite. Any time he gets called out or shit on, he just quietly seethes and responds with passive-aggressive word salad. Shit's boring as hell to watch. If he ever has a pure retard moment like Yandev slamming the shit out of his desk over Cuphead then I will totally eat my words btw.

 

[Roachbound]

How the hell do you guys hate watch this guy?

What I do, and I suspect many others do(most other posts on here you can trace to this source), is use his discord TTS tracker to find stuff



It's how I found most of my sources, such as the kony2012 clip from here

Mald compares his haters to the Kony2012 campaign...and I guess, himself to Ugandan warlord Joseph Kony.

Just his discord in general is easy to peruse for sources:

So ironically, despite him having the most stale content imaginable and the longest shit I would ever need to sift through, I can simply browse the stupid answers he gives to his audience and post them on here, making it actually easier following Mald than most other lolcows.

The only time I actually watched his stream was during his first blue prince stream just to see if he would fuck anything up, which luckily he did. Also blue prince is kind of funny because he's a general dumbass through most of it. I can't imagine watching him play dune/ashes where khronos and the mods just set everything up so his cult can worship him.

Sadly that probably means this thread misses most of his sperg outs when he disagrees with someone in chat, unless all his 15h streams are somehow archived. At this point though, Mald's spergouts are minor lolcow moments compared to his scams and frauds.

 

[PHUCKERPRIME]

Some fat gay retard put out a vid on Maldtree.

It's an ok video overall and he hit the nail on the head when he said the Dire Maul incident was bad because it was a mask-off moment, not because Jason "played badly" or some other cope his fanbase says LSF hates him for.

But holy FUCK that futa part was COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY. "Guys look! This SFM porn animation has music from WoW!" That had NOTHING to do with the video. And the explanation of what WoW is what too dispersive and could have been easily cut to 5 or even 3 minutes with only the necessary information.

You can skip the final 7 minutes of the video since that has nothing to do with Jason.

 

[Black Willow Lurker]

How the hell do you guys hate watch this guy?

I doubt anyone here actually does. The TTS log is pretty great because it has timestamped links (thanks, Mald). I've been procrastinating and fucking around with C++/JS (LMAO) to make a Mald search engine. It's not very good at searching (because it's basically strcmp with extra steps), but I'm pretty sure it has more RTX than ShartBound at this point, which I find deeply hilarious™:

 

[I mean I'm just saying]

How the hell do you guys hate watch this guy?

I tend to only hate watch his shorts for this reason, which also has the added bonus of "Jason was so confident about this that he had it cut out and framed" along with comments talking about how he's wrong. The actual streams are hardly even suitable for background noise.

 

[Nothing Is Written]

How the hell do you guys hate watch this guy?

Every few minutes he condescendingly replies to innocent questions by new chatters, and he can't help but announce when certain people are banned which is funny.

 

[Aidan]

So...mald's minecraft server has been down for a fortnight.
View attachment 7356394
He imagines it will be back within a month(so ~6/1-6/14)

I really can't imagine how minecraft servers need THIS much work to run, but Mald's mods are actually working on this unlike heartbound, so he and HIS TEAM(further emphasis on team) might actually meet the deadline

View attachment 7356400
Another ferret has passed away RIP

What's the point of the Minecraft server beyond letting Mald roleplay as a developer editing yaml files? Do people actually play on it when it has downtime like this?

Some fat gay retard put out a vid on Maldtree.

A good consolidation of relevant clips but way longer than it needs to be. I didn't see the Tyler1 clip before where Tyler1 runs cover for Mald and Mald refuses to let Yamato talk, then when Yamato decides he's going to say what he thinks without letting Mald interrupt, Mald leaves abruptly. He cannot handle any criticism, it's hilarious.
Mald is objectively right and everyone else is subjectively wrong. It's insane behavior to challenge objectivity aka Mald, he's the ultimate authority on what's right and wrong.