Karl Jobst / karljobst / FAQ_GOD / simthreat / approachhernow.com - Albino autist, Spergy speed runner, Pickup predator and Bitch of Mitchell

[Pointless Debater]

This looks like some geocities bullshit a girl would put up in five minutes.

Its funny, but pay some pajeet on fiver Billy instead of putting up this boomer shit.

Having been on the web in the nineties it's an endearing sort of shitpost. The minimal effort of the website is an effective fuck you as well.

Outing myself as an autistic fucker here, but I wouldn't be surprised if this site was coded by Billy himself. The underlying HTML screams ancient. The meta name="ROBOTS" having a value of NOODP says that websites should not consider results from the Open Directory Project or Yahoo's website directory - ancient shit modern web crawlers don't give a fuck about. At the same time there are Twitter metadata references that would make the embed of the website a lot better looking if someone puts a link to it on Twitter. - but they're screencaps of Billy giving a thumbs up with a pacman background, not really about the site itself.

There's also odd changes in capitalization in the tag names - some are all lowercase, others are camelCase (reallyImportantKeyword) and others are just all caps (ROBOTS). Suggests not made by an automatic program/site software. Someone copy/pasting website techniques they learned over many years manually.

The keywords metadata tag is another dead giveaway that this site was coded by someone ancient. Back in the day you could give your website keywords to help search engines find you as a relevant site. This worked up until people were shithead spammers, at which point search engines ignored it and paid attention to what your page actually said and what other sites that linked to you put in the link text instead. It's also clearly manually generated - Karl's name is listed as karl Jobst, and Rickey's Hot Sauce is listed as rickys (casing and lack of capitalization intentional).

Billy is almost 60 as I understand it so it's possible one of his kid could have learned 90s web design or a friend could have copied an older site, but the entire design reminds me of the currently late 60s cantankerous techie I learned HTML from.

I believe this website was made, however simple, by Billy editing an HTML file by hand. A man on a mission driven by pure belief in his cause and to shitpost about his victory.

 

[AnOminous]

I believe this website was made, however simple, by Billy editing an HTML file by hand. A man on a mission driven by pure belief in his cause and to shitpost about his victory.

I think it needs more dancing Snoop Doggs smoking blunts and other bling.

 

[HarmanSmith69]

autistic albino speedrunning weirdo and a chink with a concave chest.

Which parent is which in this statement ?......

 

[Looney Troons]

The only things missing from his website are the bad 3d spinning text .gifs and other tacky HTML 1 elements, like marquee and the blinking text. It’s so funny to me. I can’t help but just laugh my ass off at all of his low effort but highly efficient trolling attempts. I’m starting to think I’m a retard

 

[ringtones]

Billy just tweeted out this website and its fucking incredible

karl-lost.com

who would have thought this apex retard would do something legitimately funny? Reality is the weirdest shit there is

 

[bortherman]

Billy just tweeted out this website and its fucking incredible

karl-lost.com

View attachment 7362950

Btw karl, if you really want to know how to transfer 4tb of porn, try rsync or syncthing

Almost a https://paybilly.lol (still available)

 

[Looney Troons]

Spoiler: Hot sauce received - quick impressions

Just received my sauces. I also got hit with the delay, but they arrived from Cajun Prep in Kentwood, CA. Talking about having some pajeet on Fiverr develop your website, this is a clear example of it - a soulless, bootstrapped Wordpress site. The five-minute Angelfire-inspired page has way more charm. Looks like they strictly handle logistics and shipping.

I made some pizza from scratch earlier, so this was a perfect time to test the original and habanero sauces. The sauces were packed in some dense bubble wrap and were secured nicely. I think it would have been great to have thrown in some extras, like some stickers, etc. for the price, but whatever.

I popped open the bottle of the original, poured a fair portion into a teaspoon, and plopped it down on the flat of my tongue. Immediately, I knew I have tasted this exact same hot sauce handfuls of times before. Friends know me as a hot sauce fiend, so I will constantly receive the cheap little hot sauce sets you can find at Kohl’s as gifts. They have tons of different packaging for the same sauce. I jokingly called this “OEM hot sauce” in an earlier post and it really isn’t anything special. Tangy and salty. No real heat to speak of. Was surprised how thick the sauce was, which is a positive to me. Watery hot sauce sucks.

Applied a few drops to a slice of pizza and found myself adding a bit more. The tanginess brightened the flavor up. It wasn’t bad, but then I remembered how much I paid for that bottle and the value just isn’t there. I’m not pressed for money, but if you want superior hot sauce recommendations in the same price range, hit me up.

Another slice, this time with the habanero. The habanero sauce was much runnier. The habanero sauce, to my tongue, didn’t have any more heat to it. It was a bit smokier in taste and less tangy. I finished the slice but was feeling very mixed on it. I expected more heat, and the tradeoff for smokiness versus tang didn’t work for me. I wouldn’t buy it again… but as a disclaimer, I do grow my own habaneros and the majority of the homemade sauces I make are habanero based. I am going to have a huge bias.

Overall, meh. Meme value is through the roofs. I chuckled throughout reading the thread which preempted me to buy the sauce. If Billy wasn’t just adamant about taking these hilarious potshots on Jobst, I would have been disappointed with this purchase.

Practical value is horrible - if purchased online. These sauces are definitely not worth the cost - and I bought two bottles of that dragon sauce (30 USD) which is supposed to arrive Friday. These aren’t revolutionary sauces. You can definitely find worse hot sauces out there, but these are not worth 12+ USD per bottle. At 3 USD for the original, like others have mentioned, yeah. It’s worth a look. It will not replace your Tabasco Chipotle sauce as the primary table sauce, but it is a decent alternative.

If you want to fuel Billy Mitchell’s insatiable desire to meme on a loser, buy the original sauce. I don’t think the habanero sauce is very good. If you’re looking for an actual good hot sauce, your money is better spent elsewhere.

I’m going to make some wings this weekend and a toss them in these sauces - will report back if anyone is interested. Hopefully the dragon sauce has arrived by then too.

 

[ringtones]

man the last thing I'd be doing with my money is giving any of it to billy mitchell you should re-evaluate your decision-making framework

 

[Looney Troons]

man the last thing I'd be doing with my money is giving any of it to billy mitchell you should re-evaluate your decision-making framework

I took your advice. I have reevaluated my “decision making framework” and have decided to ignore your suggestion and call you poor

Haha poor

 

[Buckaroo]

if you want superior hot sauce recommendations in the same price range, hit me up.

What would you recommend for someone that hates Louisiana style hot sauces?

 

[AnOminous]

What would you recommend for someone that hates Louisiana style hot sauces?

Rising Smoke from North Carolina. They have a variety of sauces and the gimmick is all smoked peppers. Only one variety is Louisiana style.

 

[CrunkLord420]

I'm begging you people to stop buying the meme sauce. It's harmful and immoral to buy things above market rate, and this includes buying white label shit from ecelebs.

 

[Buckaroo]

Rising Smoke from North Carolina. They have a variety of sauces and the gimmick is all smoked peppers. Only one variety is Louisiana style.

Thanks, I'll have to check them out. I'm seeing a lot of interesting sounding flavors.

 

[AnOminous]

I'm begging you people to stop buying the meme sauce. It's harmful and immoral to buy things above market rate, and this includes buying white label shit from ecelebs.

I don't think it's white label. If anything, he might be licensing it out to others. Not many Louisiana sauces have peppers as the first ingredient, look at them, they're almost all vinegar first. Still, the best is the original.

I was pretty pissed at having been snookered into buying Karl's bullshit. I really hate Internet hate mobs like the ones that went after Vic. While I never gave any money to this retard, and never really joined in to a huge degree on his giddy crusade to kill the Billy Dragon, I definitely did say some shit I regret.

I won't donate money to bullshit like the Vic thing, and didn't, and much less to people like Jobst, but I am more than a little peeved I even said anything at all supporting this bullshit about Billy killing Apollo. That shit was a complete lie, Karl knew it was a lie, he fed that lie for years.

I don't regret at all buying some hot sauce after Billy won. The original is actually really good.

 

[HRT Heisenberg]

You guys don't understand, Karl is an amazing speedrunner who has planned out his route well in advance. The best runners use skips and sequence breaks to get those coveted new records. Bankruptcy happens to save a lot of time during the segment of the run between raising marriage tension and the divorce section. Karl is going for a gold split in a several year long RTA.

 

[Ol' Slag]

I think it needs more dancing Snoop Doggs smoking blunts and other bling.

It needs new year baby dancing or pissing depending on the meme, it also needs the text to be sparkly and shit if we are going full meme.

 

[ringtones]

I took your advice. I have reevaluated my “decision making framework” and have decided to ignore your suggestion and call you poor

you did it wrong retard do it again

 

[Looney Troons]

What would you recommend for someone that hates Louisiana style hot sauces?

You probably dislike the concentration of vinegar, it’s very prevalent in Louisiana style sauces.

Spoiler: More sauce sperging

To give you a wholehearted recommendation, I’d need to know more about your likes and dislikes as far as flavors go, and what kind of heat you’re looking for (it’s important). @AnOminous recommended the Rising Smoke brand, and I’ll also give them a +1. I have their Firestarter, It, and Cur-ibbean sauces on hand. The Cur-ibbean sauce is so, so good. It’s got a very numbing heat and is very savory with just enough sweetness to not be overwhelming, but complementary.

Academy Sports and Outdoors, of all places, typically carries a good variety of hot sauces. The location nearest me carries Bravado and Queen’s Majesty sauces. From Bravado, I love the Blueberry & Ghost Pepper sauce, but some batches can be a bit watery. Usage of vinegar is up there, but I find it super tasty so I don’t mind. Super good with breakfast dishes. The heat will creep up on you, but it’s not unbearable. The Scotch Bonnet & Ginger from Queen’s Majesty is super versatile and worth having. Excellent flavor, nice zest, and a warming heat.

 

[Gremperor]

Nah, that's Jim.

Although I guess they do share taste in women.

Yellow fever leads to cancer in 99% of infected individuals.


Okay so while I was looking for that cancer Karl pic I found this blog post.

A giant unhinged mental breakdown claiming Karl is a racist, Nazi, bigot, fascist that was clearly written by a deranged freak, I'm not joking when I say what I've written is fairer to Karl than this stream of mental illness.

Link (Archive)

The funniest part for me was this bit where the guy quotes Karl Marx and bashes RACE TRAITORS as fascist sex pests lol.


Him calling anyone a "sex pest" is laughable because as you have probably guessed the author of this seething screed is a tranny and is obsessed with porn and "sex work".

From his youtube:

"Persephone van der Waard: MtF trans woman, they/them or she/her, poly/demi-pan, 38; anti-fash and BDSM author/Gothic Communist, sex worker, indie researcher/PhD in Gothic poetics and ludo-Gothic BDSM (who specializes partly in Metroidvania), erotic artist/pornographic historian and invigilator."
my book (the SFW promo): https://www.nicksmovieinsights.com/2025/03/my-book-gothic-communism-series-promo.htmlChannel is SFW content I can actually post here.
Old material includes heavy metal reviews, a discontinued Gothic podcast, horror video essays, and assorted movie reviews; new stuff is centered around my book series and current research (see: above link)."

His real name is Nicholas van der Waard, you can tell because most of his URLs still have his real name (He bitches about this in his coming out post: Link (Archive)).

His main output seems to be making videos about how he hates White people and creepy porn drawings.

And finally he has hepatitis lol.


Youtube: Link (Archive) (PreserveTube)
Blog: Link (Archive)
Medium: Link (Archive)
Art Site: Link (Archive)

 

[Vinluv Handesbukia]

karl lost so hard he now has his own mini-karl to Alog him and show him how he looks to the outside world