Photo number one shows us Jessie, seen here with a face so large NASA had to check to make sure there wasn’t some weird gravitational anomaly. Her “medical team” ordered “an urgent hospitalisation admit”. Word salad for look at me! I’m in hospital! Not pictured was the acrobatics to get Jessie’s fat ass off her piss stained mattress and into her fancy dress whambulance. She has what looks like a port (pretty high placement??) . She tries to look deep and soulful but mostly looks like she needs to fart.
It took 10 TRIES TO GET HER NJ TUBE! Two attendings worked on her and a med student and a nurse and two NJ tubes. Gosh darn it she is just such a medical marvel. Seen on her bedside is a massive fucking big gulp soda, some redacted meds, and a giant purple candle. But sure, MCAS and intestinal failure. She’s got her iPad on an arm because her weak, beefy arms can’t hold it. The hospital looks old and her bed looks more like a mattress. She is, of course, naked, with her “service dog” lying on her meat carcass. This looks like a much older photo set of a much thinner (but still land whale-esque Jessie). No mention of a trial NG tube and no explanation as to why an NJ wasn’t placed by interventional radiology as is the standard of care.
She is so brave, guys. It’s been a “whirlwind” of “terrifying medical scares […] difficult treatments, unexpected outcomes, difficult diagnoses”. Still unclear why she is even in hospital. Looks like she is larping intestinal disease but her commentary is so over the top and vague, who knows. She’s really milking the shit out of it, whatever it is.
Blah blah spinal injury blah blah such a challenging life. More “devastating” side effects. Why devastating? She literally lies down all day and does fuck all. What is she missing out on? She already claims to be in unending daily suffering, so is this like suffering plus infinity? Blathers on about her catheter because of cause she’s too lazy to piss. Endless complications. “Rolling complex medical emergencies”. Yet she is only now in hospital?
Claims her intestinal tract is paralysed and she can’t feel when she is having a bowel movement. So now she shits AND pisses herself. Her team has had to get “creative” to solve this, as opposed to, I’m just spitballing here, wearing a diaper? Actually seeing a real doctor as opposed to whatever Nick Riviera shill is humoring her? Doesn’t mention any manometry testing or pelvic floor testing or therapy. No GES or smart pill. Pictured is a much thinner Jessie’s wrist. I swear she has photoshopped at least 40 kg off her hulking frame.
Another pic of her grotesque meat-skull. She looks like someone who tried to print a photo on a t-shirt but it got weirdly stretched. Bridled tube and blonde hair - how did she bleach it lying down and not being able to move? We will never know!
Claims the port is new but there is no scarring at all - can’t even see the incision. The needle doesn’t look like any port needle I’ve ever seen. Claims she is now on TPN (wouldn’t that go through a PICC?) because she is clearly wasting away.
Claims her doctorbs have been begging her to get a port for 6 years but she has been too immunocompromised (never mentions blood tests so how does she know she is immunocompromised? Just a feeling, I guess). Has an NJ tube as well - why both? Surely it would be an NG and be used for drainage of the stomach?. Gives her doctor 0 STARS, guys. Can you believe?
Claims an emergency colonoscopy is on the cards sometime in the near future, so, not an emergency then. Says permanent tube feeds are on the cards, so why the TPN? Says she isn’t absorbing nutrition (bullshit). She is going to be able to “practice eating” though, so don’t worry! She’ll still be keeping her local takeaway providers in business.
She is so excited! And terrified! She thought she had more time (small violin starts to play the saddest song). Poor, poor Jessie. Not sure what she is going to be missing out on as all she does is marinate in an ooze of her own bodily fluids.
Of course, insurance have delayed everything! No access to care! Terrifying diagnoses! Calm your farm, J-dog, thousands of folks, including cute little kiddiewinks with actual bright futures ahead of them get by fine on tube feeds. If you don’t want another medical device, get off your fat ass and go for a walk. There is nothing wrong with you. The state of Jersey and a court appointed doctor concluded that you are a malingering piece of shit.
You just want to be you? What even is that? You’re getting to death-fat proportions, you claim your husband is your care taker, you live in a fetid dungeon, you add nothing to the world, and you have no interests outside of faking whatever bullshit of the month story your vapid little brain has latched onto. You are an utter failure of a human being and when you are gone, no one will remember you fondly.
