Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Daddy Strokum]

There's got to be a Sunny D jug of brown piss with a lily pad of sugar under that desk, and a bunch of sticky spatters all over the floor in a silhouette of elephant feet.

Fucking kek

 

[Charlie Delicious]

Here is the video where he uses cheese balls, says the recipe looks horrible, and then tries to pretend it's good simply because this stupid motherfucker cooked it.

"This recipe looks horrible and gross... Better make two gallons worth"

 

[The Grimace]

There's that "lazy man taco" that was basically some fucked up desconstructed taco that was way messier than making a regular one

Was it a taco in a bag like you get at fairs/festivals? Because I doubt Jack invented those, even though I'm sure he'd like to insist it was his idea.

 

[Exist0]

Here is a thing. Enjoy

 

[the khat quaffer]

Here is a thing. EnjoyView attachment 7370225

"Fucking cooking temps, how do they work?"

 

[LaughJoke2.0]

Weber Cooks nailed that years ago in coaching college student how to cook using a microwave, including this tutorial on how to replicate exquisite Italian cuisine.

Here's something closer to Jack

 

[The Stranger]

I wonder why you don't have any friends, Jack


Also, man who tried selling AI "art" on etsy complains about AI

 

[souschef]

Was it a taco in a bag like you get at fairs/festivals? Because I doubt Jack invented those, even though I'm sure he'd like to insist it was his idea.

No, he just dumped the ingredients in a bowl, then cracked the tortillas and stuck em in

In his words, it's better this way because you won't make a mess (because he's too retarded to eat a taco without dirtying everything around him)

 

[AltisticRight]

Also, man who tried selling AI "art" on etsy complains about AI

Is he saying AI isn't good enough?
Clearly it is because Scalfatty once stated that "The Amish have an entire basement full of jars of eggs" -- a reference to AI generated slop videos with obviously AI thumbnails, where some guy has 7 fingers and so on.




This retard is unreal.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

Is he saying AI isn't good enough?
Clearly it is because Scalfatty once stated that "The Amish have an entire basement full of jars of eggs" -- a reference to AI generated slop videos with obviously AI thumbnails, where some guy has 7 fingers and so on.
View attachment 7370428
View attachment 7370429
View attachment 7370431

This retard is unreal.

He's too brain damaged to differentiate between reality and AI.

 

[Enig]

Is he saying AI isn't good enough?
Clearly it is because Scalfatty once stated that "The Amish have an entire basement full of jars of eggs" -- a reference to AI generated slop videos with obviously AI thumbnails, where some guy has 7 fingers and so on.
View attachment 7370428
View attachment 7370429
View attachment 7370431

This retard is unreal.

People like Jack are why the internet has been smoothed down by corpo cocksuckers, we can’t have anything fun because retards like him wander out of the Facebook playpen for one minute and think they made “Lazy Man’s Rust Remover” and it’s actually chlorine gas.

 

[the khat quaffer]

No, he just dumped the ingredients in a bowl, then cracked the tortillas and stuck em in

In his words, it's better this way because you won't make a mess (because he's too retarded to eat a taco without dirtying everything around him)

Two-armed Jack probably used to eat tacos like Nellie from The Office (US):



What with his God-given propensity for stuffing phallic-shaped objects down his gullet, and all that.

Is he saying AI isn't good enough?
Clearly it is because Scalfatty once stated that "The Amish have an entire basement full of jars of eggs" -- a reference to AI generated slop videos with obviously AI thumbnails, where some guy has 7 fingers and so on.
View attachment 7370428
View attachment 7370429
View attachment 7370431

This retard is unreal.

I never get tired of Jack bitching about AI content. (I mean personally I dislike it, but as far as content creation is concerned, it does have its place when done properly.)

Jackie, I love hate to break it to you, but a blind man can see the AI slop in your videos from a mile away. Tammy and AI do everything for you. You don't lift a single finger (from what few fingers you CAN lift) to make content. The AI generated content you put in your videos is so utterly offensive to all the senses that I'd click away in disgust if you weren't so ..."funny".

OT: if you're ever bored, look up "amish mugshots". Those little garden gnomes always give me a giggle at work.

 

[Marc]

Here's something closer to Jack

Jack wishes. Merrill petting his salad, imitating random celebrities, and interrupting his banana chopping to say "Jesus Christ I hate this shit" is far more entertaining and charismatic than Jack could ever manage to be, even with the aid of a full production team insisting on multiple takes from that human bean bag chair of pettiness. Jack acts like a giant, belligerent scrotum resulting from a gypsy curse; and nothing can compensate for that. The only quality he'll ever have in common with Uncle Merrill is being dead.

 

[Whaler]

He's too brain damaged to differentiate between reality and AI.

I wouldn't be too surprised if he thought Stable Diffusion was a competitor to Google Image Search.

 

[the khat quaffer]

Jack wishes. Merrill petting his salad, imitating random celebrities, and interrupting his banana chopping to say "Jesus Christ I hate this shit" is far more entertaining and charismatic than Jack could ever manage to be, even with the aid of a full production team insisting on multiple takes from that human bean bag chair of pettiness. Jack acts like a giant, belligerent scrotum resulting from a gypsy curse; and nothing can compensate for that. The only quality he'll ever have in common with Uncle Merrill is being dead.

The chad Merrill:

Spoiler

• carefully handles poultry to ensure food safety
• effortlessly makes a salad that isn't nuclear waste
• has helpful PSAs Re: drugs in his videos instead of pimping some retarded sauces/rubs
• can handle objects like cucumbers and bananas without literally creaming himself
• doesn't gurgle and groan like a busted darth vader with down syndrome
• end result looks delicious even in 180p res
• operates in POWERTIME ILLINOIS instead of cuckerville tennessee
• (different video can't find atm) has female guests on and charms them

The virgin jack

Spoiler

• pick any page in this thread

 

[Falcon Sebben]

He goes straight from the introduction to telling us he's confused.

Between the Darth Vader downsampling voice and formatting squishing the video so that the indispensable little cartoon midget Jack zooming in a car, 90s comic book font, and unnecessary QR code can be accommodated, Jack is a living Tim and Eric commercial. There's got to be a Sunny D jug of brown piss with a lily pad of sugar under that desk, and a bunch of sticky spatters all over the floor in a silhouette of elephant feet.

Fatty is confused? And in other news the sky is blue and water is wet.

"This recipe looks horrible and gross... Better make two gallons worth"

View attachment 7369644

Portion contol has never been one of his strong suits.

Here's something closer to Jack

Merill Howard was a retard but he was harmless and almost charming in how earnest he was. It's like Kay. She can't cook for shit but she knows it and she doesn't try to pretend like she's some great sage.

Fatty Scalfatty is just a retard without a shred of charm or human warmth.

 

[Tiresome]

I can say with some confidence that if Jack Russell Scalfani had instead died at 45 and Merrill H. Kalin was alive today, the world would be arguably a fractionally better place.

 

[a terminal posture]

Zero effort 1:35 video to tell us that a $6.49 chinesium item doesn't work (and you need to pressure cook your hardboiled eggs):

egg splitter

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Who would even buy such a stupid item? It doesn't take long to peel a hardboiled egg

 

[the khat quaffer]

Zero effort 1:35 video to tell us that a $6.49 chinesium item doesn't work (and you need to pressure cook your hardboiled eggs):

egg splitter

Whatever chink company made this egg splitter should sue him like that copper pot company did for demonstrably being a complete retard at using their product and telling everyone not to buy it.
At least this time he didn't claim that the egg splitter explodes.