Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[The Grimace]

Here's something closer to Jack

Don't forget to turn on the subtitles for the best viewing experience!

 

[Super Hans v2]

Who would even buy such a stupid item?

Probably the same kind of dumbass to buy meat claws, plastic cups to boil eggs in, and dozens of microwave bacon cookers.

 

[soulless guarantee]

Looking at this sort of thing on Amazon, it looks like you're supposed to use it to crack open raw eggs without needing to hit them on the edge of a pan/a surface etc. All the product images show it alongside raw eggs.

Hopefully we get a redo video with one of the cursed Mormon eggs.

 

[Marc]

It’s “Amish” eggs - but cursed Mormon eggs much better describes Jack’s abomination jar with all the cum in it that looks like something you’d find in the same room as a mummy.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Looking at this sort of thing on Amazon, it looks like you're supposed to use it to crack open raw eggs without needing to hit them on the edge of a pan/a surface etc. All the product images show it alongside raw eggs.

Hopefully we get a redo video with one of the cursed Mormon eggs.

You are correct: https://www.lightinthebox.com/en/p/...s-quickly-cutting-off-cooked-e_p14528378.html

It's for raw eggs and basically just an egg cracker. Still a useless product but of course that fat ass wouldn't even research how to use the product he's reviewing on video or what items it is used for

 

[souschef]

Egg cracker? You mean a countertop? Who the fuck needs an eggcracker?

 

[Daddy Strokum]

You are correct: https://www.lightinthebox.com/en/p/...s-quickly-cutting-off-cooked-e_p14528378.html

It's for raw eggs and basically just an egg cracker. Still a useless product but of course that fat ass wouldn't even research how to use the product he's reviewing on video or what items it is used for

Wouldn't any non-retarded person be capable of thinking spatially and mechanically enough to predict that shoving spikes into a semi-solid object and tearing them apart would do much more damage than simply removing the shell?? Two possibilities. 1. He IS that retarded, 2. He knew what would happen and gets off on 'failing' products.

 

[p1138]

Egg cracker? You mean a countertop? Who the fuck needs an eggcracker?

People with dexterity issues, although not only is this particular version a piece of shit they used it wrong in the video. Such a product(if it worked) would be for people with physical disabilities, not mental disabilities like Fatty.

 

[Guntanator]

His obsession with hard boiled eggs makes me think the farts are unreal in that house.

 

[the khat quaffer]

Wouldn't any non-retarded person be capable of thinking spatially and mechanically enough to predict that shoving spikes into a semi-solid object and tearing them apart would do much more damage than simply removing the shell?? Two possibilities. 1. He IS that retarded, 2. He knew what would happen and gets off on 'failing' products.

1, yes. 2, ehh not so much.

Jacko is nigh retarded and his only function in life is to shit out content. He has explicitly said that as a content creator your duty is to never stop putting out videos. I think this aligns well with his desire to feel heard, seeing as how he's basically a wheelchair-bound invalid whose own family can't stand. As far as his product 'reviews' go, he no longer has standards for the quality of gadgets he'll review, nor can his reviews themselves be held to any standards. Unless he's reviewing the latest fried cheese monstrosity at wendy's.

If it were anyone else, I'd swear this egg cracker review was a troll video. I sincerely used to think he was trolling many years ago.

 

[LordofCringe7206 Vol. 2]

Who would even buy such a stupid item? It doesn't take long to peel a hardboiled egg

There has been such a giant boom in the last decade of useless kitchen tools that are supposed to be used for as supplementation for routine and basic culinary acts. Egg crackers, egg peelers, ten billion specialized items for making a grilled cheese.

They are all more time consuming than by just doing the acts the way they should be done.

Wouldn't any non-retarded person be capable of thinking spatially and mechanically enough to predict that shoving spikes into a semi-solid object and tearing them apart would do much more damage than simply removing the shell?? Two possibilities. 1. He IS that retarded, 2. He knew what would happen and gets off on 'failing' products.

He definitely has reviewed products in the past just so he can shit on them and show off the "expertise" he pretends to have. At the same Jack is fucking dense and doesn't know how to work any of the things he buys.

I am still amazed years later at that one pulled pork video where his smoker or whatever it was had an option to plug in your phone to check the temperature. Jack was so stupid that he bitched about how he had to leave his phone plugged in during the cooking process because it never occurred to him that he can unplug his phone and come back to check on it later.

 

[Marc]

I'm hoping the next stroke makes Jack so disabled that he can only eat by falling face-first onto the food like a fiending crackwhore, and he insists that Tammy hold the phone to film him doing this. Flag me optimistic - but know that his track record means he's liable to do something even dumber.

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

Egg cracker? You mean a countertop? Who the fuck needs an eggcracker?

I just squeeze the fuckers. It’s faster and more satisfying.

I don’t even eat eggs unless they are incorporated to be unrecognizable . Even egg batter is gross to me. But I can’t split those butches

 

[LordofCringe7206 Vol. 2]

I'm hoping the next stroke makes Jack so disabled that he can only eat by falling face-first onto the food like a fiending crackwhore, and he insists that Tammy hold the phone to film him doing this. Flag me optimistic - but know that his track record means he's liable to do something even dumber.

I don't know if he is even going to survive the next stroke. He has had four thus far, and the last two have done significantly worse damage to him. With his already weakened state, him surviving might mean him becoming a vegetable at best.

 

[Tiresome]

I don't know if he is even going to survive the next stroke. He has had four thus far, and the last two have done significantly worse damage to him. With his already weakened state, him surviving might mean him becoming a vegetable at best.

All the next event will do is make him stupider, louder and hungrier.

 

[Slavic Patronym]

Such a product [like the egg cracker] would be for people with physical disabilities

That's all Jack has ever had to do. Lean into the handicapped chef angle. Which is a real angle; not one of his half-dozen larps and gimmicks, which are probably tiring to keep up with at his health level (terrible) and skill level (nonexistent).

Just release one video every two weeks, be non-malignant on camera, and say, "Hi, I'm Jack Scalfani. I'm handicapped but I love to cook and I'm gonna keep on cooking -- thanks to good recipes, good products and sometimes help from my friends." Simple.

But that's the irony of his life. He's always been ugly on the inside (and outside, but that's beyond the scope of this post). That made him unpopular. That made him insecure, so he drowned his tears in food. That ultimately crippled him. But the one "useful" thing that might've come from that -- an easy slice of a niche market -- he won't pursue, because the crippling turned him even uglier. It immobilized him to the point he lives online and in his feelings, which prevents him from admitting the handicap.

It'd be a Greek tragedy, with Kiwi as the chorus, if not for the fact no one pities his downfall and Fate actually gave him infinite chances.

 

[the khat quaffer]

I just squeeze the fuckers. It’s faster and more satisfying.

I don’t even eat eggs unless they are incorporated to be unrecognizable . Even egg batter is gross to me. But I can’t split those butches

I smash them against my forehead and let the yolk drip down. It's easier and more manly.

 

[p1138]

That's all Jack has ever had to do. Lean into the handicapped chef angle. Which is a real angle; not one of his half-dozen larps and gimmicks, which are probably tiring to keep up with at his health level (terrible) and skill level (nonexistent).

He's actually done gadgets for people with physical issues a few times. The problem is that he fucks things up basically every time because he refuses to follow instructions, refuses to use any sort of patience(not like it would make the video any longer), etc. because he's retarded. Of course even if he followed instructions properly he couldn't give a proper review other than "I used it, I ate meat, meat gud" or "I used it, no get meat, product bad"

 

[The Stranger]

For some reason Jack invited me to the private Cooking With Jack facebook group. Apparently, to get in to the group that HE INVITES YOU TO, you have to first stroke his ego by telling him what your favorite CWJ video is.


First post I see in it is mushbrain's attempt at some sort of political statement

but at least we get angy Jack in the comments


This private group is a gold mine

 

[AnOminous]

It's for raw eggs and basically just an egg cracker. Still a useless product but of course that fat ass wouldn't even research how to use the product he's reviewing on video or what items it is used for

There's even a raw egg in the thumbnail this strokebrained dipshit put on the video.

For some reason Jack invited me to the private Cooking With Jack facebook group. Apparently, to get in to the group that HE INVITES YOU TO, you have to first stroke his ego by telling him what your favorite CWJ video is.

Obviously the McCormick bag chicken that was still clucking and bleeding everywhere.

but at least we get angy Jack in the comments

I love when this flaming closet queer is going on about gay shit in vidya.