Lolcow Holbrook G. Christiana / Darqwolff / HStark - Literal neckbeard, "smartest 15 year old on reddit", arrested for burglary

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Pointless Pedant

Pointless Pedant

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Having searched the forums for this exceptional individual, I was pretty surprised to find he'd only ever been mentioned once, and didn't have a thread, so I decided to make him the subject of my first.

Holbrook G. Christiana, of Ulster County, New York, first came to prominence on the internet with this thread on reddit's r/gaming about the response he got to an email he sent to Gabe Newell:

https://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/sf2e7/i_sent_gabe_newell_a_question_about_what_his_life/

In a text wall of weaponised autism, he claimed to be in the 99.9th percentile for IQ, know more about engineering at 15 than someone who had graduated in it, and be writing a book which everyone seemed to think was good. This book, as expected, is nowhere to be seen.

https://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/com...ewell_a_question_about_what_his_life/c4dmknx/
https://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/com...ewell_a_question_about_what_his_life/c4dmknx/
The thread degenerated into tasty drama. This, unfortunately, was only the beginning of Mr. Christiana's exceptional antics.

After his bad experience on /r/gaming, Christiana decided to head over to /r/legaladvice to ask how to marry his 15 year old girlfriend, who lived in New Hampshire. Before any of you accuse him of paedophilia, he was himself 16 at the time. /r/legaladvice was not impressed.

https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/z94hj/a_16yearold_and_a_15yearold_living_in_different/

Of course, he was a brony.

https://www.reddit.com/r/MLPLounge/comments/qg6hn/a_few_other_users_and_i_are_working_on_a_new_pony/

As the years passed, he seemed to have grown up and calmed down, admitting some of his flaws in this AMA:

https://www.reddit.com/r/InternetAMA/comments/1wnym5/i_am_darqwolff_of_usubredditdrama_infamy/
https://www.reddit.com/r/InternetAMA/comments/1wnym5/i_am_darqwolff_of_usubredditdrama_infamy/
...And then he turned to crime.

Yes, this genius, who at 15 knew more about engineering than a graduate, was arrested for burglary.

http://hudsonvalleypost.com/ulster-county-teen-arrested-for-burglary/

The mugshot explains everything.

/r/drama created a thread on the incident, and Christiana, under the username HStark, appeared to defend his actions.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Drama/comments/4sceeh/udarqwolff_got_arrested_last_month/
https://www.reddit.com/r/Drama/comments/4sceeh/udarqwolff_got_arrested_last_month/
In his own words, his stepfather was abusing him by letting the house reach 80 degrees Fahrenheit in the summer. This apparently justified smashing the air conditioners in a fit of tard rage classic Chris would have been proud of.

Truly a great use of that exceptional IQ.
 
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His neckbeard decided to grow a neckbeard at this point
christiania.jpg

But yeah it need more recent exceptional antics
 
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Sergeant Politeness said:
Is he still actively chimping out and doing stupid shit? It's been almost a year since he got arrested. Not sure I'm seeing this one.
Click to expand...

Do lolcows have to be recently active to count? I thought the fact this guy never had a thread meant he could have one even if his exceptional antics were a few years ago.
 
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being as that you created this thread, i assume you have interest in this cow. do you have recent links to recent activity? what name is he using now on forums? It is hard for a thread to last without current content. Drop some links to his stuff so we can dig because right now it just seems that it is skindeep and this is best fit for one of the general gamer threads
 
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Oh boy the obligatory 'does this thread need to exist' discussion that pops up every time and involves no moderators or staff what so ever.

Pic of neckbeard is hilarious; thread is valid. If you don't care don't post.

Bonus discussion squasher: "Lolcow is underage, nb4/the lock". Lolcow is also a convicted criminal. Public interest demonstrable. Carry on.
 
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Pointless Pedant said:
Having searched the forums for this exceptional individual, I was pretty surprised to find he'd only ever been mentioned once, and didn't have a thread, so I decided to make him the subject of my first.

Holbrook G. Christiana, of Ulster County, New York, first came to prominence on the internet with this thread on reddit's r/gaming about the response he got to an email he sent to Gabe Newell:

https://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/sf2e7/i_sent_gabe_newell_a_question_about_what_his_life/

In a text wall of weaponised autism, he claimed to be in the 99.9th percentile for IQ, know more about engineering at 15 than someone who had graduated in it, and be writing a book which everyone seemed to think was good. This book, as expected, is nowhere to be seen.

https://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/com...ewell_a_question_about_what_his_life/c4dmknx/
The thread degenerated into tasty drama. This, unfortunately, was only the beginning of Mr. Christiana's exceptional antics.

After his bad experience on /r/gaming, Christiana decided to head over to /r/legaladvice to ask how to marry his 15 year old girlfriend, who lived in New Hampshire. Before any of you accuse him of paedophilia, he was himself 16 at the time. /r/legaladvice was not impressed.

https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/z94hj/a_16yearold_and_a_15yearold_living_in_different/

Of course, he was a brony.

https://www.reddit.com/r/MLPLounge/comments/qg6hn/a_few_other_users_and_i_are_working_on_a_new_pony/

As the years passed, he seemed to have grown up and calmed down, admitting some of his flaws in this AMA:

https://www.reddit.com/r/InternetAMA/comments/1wnym5/i_am_darqwolff_of_usubredditdrama_infamy/
...And then he turned to crime.

Yes, this genius, who at 15 knew more about engineering than a graduate, was arrested for burglary.

http://hudsonvalleypost.com/ulster-county-teen-arrested-for-burglary/

The mugshot explains everything.

/r/drama created a thread on the incident, and Christiana, under the username HStark, appeared to defend his actions.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Drama/comments/4sceeh/udarqwolff_got_arrested_last_month/
In his own words, his stepfather was abusing him by letting the house reach 80 degrees Fahrenheit in the summer. This apparently justified smashing the air conditioners in a fit of tard rage classic Chris would have been proud of.

Truly a great use of that exceptional IQ.
Click to expand...


He also got popped for a couple felonies as well

http://www.dailyfreeman.com/general...ny-charges-for-alleged-joy-ride-in-stolen-car
 
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He's actually a mod of /r/drama and he constantly is saying stupid shit that doesn't make sense

There are lots of lil Japanese sports cars that are supposed to be really good at emulating the feel of a motorcycle. They just cost a fuckload more to run. RX7 being the prime example afaik
Click to expand...

I pet bees regularly.
Click to expand...

Also he's a Steven Universe fan.
 
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That Twitter is dead. The last tweet was in 2012 from what I can see.

If nothing else, this man deserves credit in topping Brianna Wu for the most exaggerated claims of engineering prowess. At least Johnny actually made a game, however crap it was.

Although, on the flip side, Holbrook did actually drive the stolen car.
 
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He's a massive Trump supporter, apparently.

Holbrook Christiana said:
When I win the Presidency in 2036, no matter what @realDonaldTrump does, I will thank him for leading the final charge against Hillary
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I think he's joking here, but after how utterly exceptional he's been over the last few years I'm not sure.
 
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Ride said:
They appointed him cause he kept causing drama on Reddit and thought it'd be funny to mod him. Doesn't actually do any modding. I'm surprised that no one ever made a thread on him. Not as active as he used to be though.
Click to expand...

I'm surprised as well. It's probably because his famous copypasta screed was published years before the Farms got big.
 
Pointless Pedant said:
That Twitter is dead. The last tweet was in 2012 from what I can see.

If nothing else, this man deserves credit in topping Brianna Wu for the most exaggerated claims of engineering prowess. At least Johnny actually made a game, however crap it was.

Although, on the flip side, Holbrook did actually drive the stolen car.
Click to expand...

tfw some neckbeard spastic is better at street racing than you
 
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I don't really know how this guy compares to Wu. On the one side, Wu hasn't been arrested, and has a higher social status. On the other side, this guy has more balls.

Literally.
 
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