DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

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Where is DSP?

  • He is in Connecticut visiting family/funeral

    Votes: 213 47.9%
  • He and Khet are on a honeymoon style trip

    Votes: 12 2.7%
  • He has an issue (s) with the HOA requiring immediate fixes

    Votes: 27 6.1%
  • Comcast/ISP/Internet Issues

    Votes: 16 3.6%
  • He is taking a Kino Casino style break by not announcing when he comes back

    Votes: 30 6.7%
  • Phil and/or Khet Health Issue

    Votes: 48 10.8%
  • This is a social experiment from DSP

    Votes: 99 22.2%

  • Total voters
    445
  • Poll closed .
There's $20 Hall effect PC controllers that are more reliable than the $200 on XBox Elite 2. But, first time I'm glad these first-party dogshit controllers get to fuck over someone with their garbage practices.
Some years back, I picked up a cheap PS3 controller so I could play some multiplayer games with my GF since the PS4 wouldn't sync to it (PS3 doesn't register the touch pad as a button so no start or select) from Amazon for like 10 dollaridoos. It's still working all these years later despite the fact that I dropped it down a pair of stairs when we were moving into our new home.
Last night when he ordered the new gamepad, he tried to cancel it and when he couldnt, he started to complain that "this is the problem with overnight shipping". No shit idiot, how about not impulse buying shit you dont need?
He doesn't understand how deliveries work. He tried to cancel an order that was "Out For Delivery" and was complaining because Amazon wouldn't actually cancel it so he had a second one coming in. He has no ability to think or reason, what he wants to do is what he wants to do and if anything or anyone stops him, they're fucking stupid and he was fucked over.
 
I just saw this and it's retarded beyond what words could describe, holy shit.

"I just punched it and it didn't stop stick drifting", yes that's an actual quote, but what really got me was the "I don't have any other controllers to play" part. This cocksucker has PS5 controllers and at least one Nintendo Switch Pro controller (and PS4 controllers aswell), all of which can easily connect to the PC through Bluetooth (assuming that's how he connected his controller since he was playing wireless). Someone points this out and he goes "oh really, you can do that??" and quickly shuts down the idea because he doesn't like the PS5 controller. Yes, this little princess would rather drop 140 dollars of e-beg money over dealing with a minor inconvenience..

Phil is lucky that shit like this never goes viral, because this is what truly deserves to get mocked by millions of people. The entitlement, the tech illiteracy for a +15 years content creator, the sheer incompetence to fix issues despite being surrounded by peripherals with native support, the blind consumerism that debunks his "I'm not a shill!" mentality (guess what, idiot? Dropping 140 dollars on a 1st party controller is as much of a shill as it gets). The overall stupidity at display here is remarkable; Phil acts like people clipping him playing Doom poorly is a representation of the decline of society as a whole, but that little segment is 100 times worse than laughing at some fat retard on the internet, because it represents a middle-aged man who has been so pampered his whole he's literally incapable of even trying to fix a toy he just broke. Phil is a toddler with money, and even that's insulting because toddlers will at least have a bit of curiosity about why the toy broke after slamming it.

It's just unbelievable how much such a single segment tells. Of course, Phil will go the usual "uhhh I have money people are just jealous I can buy another controller!" route and miss that he looks incredibly retarded with the whole thing. With the money Phil just dropped he could have gotten like 3-5 third party controllers from different price ranges and could have done some content out of testing them, but Phil is too stupid to even be a consoomer properly. He hates Brand™ but will buy the most expensive edition of Brand™'s newest product despite knowing it sucks so he can stick it to them when it fails.

Phil is just a dentractor of Microsoft when you think about it. Yes Phil, give the hot take that the overpriced piece of shit Pro controllers suck. You'll be like 5 years late, as usual.
 
IRL Streams will be the next thing he attempts in a desperate bid to keep the money going. He's already tried to pull it off with his closet cleaning shit, which he said he would have made two grand easily if he had done it instead of the viewers choice. He won't tell anybody where he's going and he won't do TTS donations though so it'll just be dreadful and boring.

Phil will claim disability for his back before he ever sets foot outside the Snort Fort to stream. Will never happen. Biggest pussy on earth.
 
Phil will claim disability for his back before he ever sets foot outside the Snort Fort to stream. Will never happen. Biggest pussy on earth.
DSP trying to claim disability will be the best arc, backs are about the most fraudulent disability claims, so much so that without MS, you can't get permanent disability for a "bad back". He would spend years to get a temporary disability that would require in person doctor visits and tests that he would have to pay for out of his own pocket.

I'm all for it.
 
Holy desktop icons. WHO DOES THAT?

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In my experience, far more people than you would have ever guessed. And of course, this ALMOST ALWAYS leads to people with filthy houses and cars.
And filthy computers. I used to do computer repair in high school and that side gig financed so much stuff you have no idea. You'd be surprised how often "muh computer/laptop runs slow" is a result of it never being cleaned, around 80% of the time in fact. I thought I was ripping people off with my prices but computer shops would bill someone twice the amount I did for max. 20 minutes of work, a few bursts of compressed air and fiddling around hard to reach spots with a cotton swab.
 
Last month, both of my PS5 controllers broke their adaptive triggers and using them became a nightmare since L2-R2 would just trigger randomly.
Couple that with the usual shitty analog drift and those controllers drove my crazy.
Did i replace those controllers for 70€ a pop, totaling 140€ spent?

Nope, i did the sensible thing and got them fixed by a friend of mine. 30€ and they are both as good as new. (That fucking drift keeps returning tho)

Phil is a moron.
 
Phil is lucky that shit like this never goes viral, because this is what truly deserves to get mocked by millions of people. The entitlement, the tech illiteracy for a +15 years content creator, the sheer incompetence to fix issues despite being surrounded by peripherals with native support
Remember though, Phil was a big PC guy back in the day. He used to build PCs all the time dood, he even set up a LAN in his parents basement.
Phil will claim disability for his back before he ever sets foot outside the Snort Fort to stream. Will never happen. Biggest pussy on earth.
Phil can't survive off of basic Disability payments since the better paying one requires payments into Social Security, which I highly doubt Phil has ever done. He'll blow through his monthly pay in a week with how much he DoorDashes.
Looks like no one actually listened to Phil. He said the controller, "DECIDED to break".
"Imagine you own a Sandwich shop that stopped existing before you were born but your $160 Elite 2 controller comes in and decides to trash it for no reason..."
Last month, both of my PS5 controllers broke their adaptive triggers and using them became a nightmare since L2-R2 would just trigger randomly.
Couple that with the usual shitty analog drift and those controllers drove my crazy.
Did i replace those controllers for 70€ a pop, totaling 140€ spent?

Nope, i did the sensible thing and got them fixed by a friend of mine. 30€ and they are both as good as new. (That fucking drift keeps returning tho)

Phil is a moron.
Your friend scammed you, no offense. Drift is a sign the potentiometer is failing and replacing the analog sticks won't actually fix it, the only time you have drift and the potentiometer isn't the problem, it's because there's dirt/debris caught under the analog and that requires a little compressed air to clean out and fix.
 
Not unusual for streamers with Phil's intelligence.
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That's kind of mean to speed, at least he's kind of entertaining when Asians call him slurs in broken English. Also 100x more successful than the pigroach.
Speed is extremely charismatic. People will watch no matter what he does. That he (or his team) put together spectacles adds to the package but he would be popular if he just went back to sitting in a room talking to chat.

Phil is Speed’s polar opposite. Phil’s streams are actively hindered by his presence. His efforts, such as they are, drive all but the most dented away. The vast majority watch Phil to marvel at his lunacy and weirdness, for when he loses control, or suffers misfortune, not for anything he does intentionally.

Suffah, Phil.
 
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