- Joined
- Nov 11, 2023
In generations past, she would be the type to go to the doctor to get fingerbanged to address her “female hysteria.”
Artcow Ellen Woodbury / Pizzacake / Pizzacakecomic - A 40 year old webcomic artist, mother, porn star, misandrist, dramacow and Reddit celebrity. Threatens to sue her critics and cuckolds her husband. Female Andrew Dobson.
- Thread starter UniformCheesecake
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- Joined
- Oct 7, 2019
Damn, that was fast.
Ellen, por amor de Dios, stop. For your children at least...
Oh, right. You are a narcissist schizo old hag.
Ellen, por amor de Dios, stop. For your children at least...
Oh, right. You are a narcissist schizo old hag.
Elderly beef taco
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 15, 2024
Her comment about the school asking her to be an aid for her own kid isn't that strange. Most of the special need helpers in my schools were normally the fat wives of teachers, with probably a single basic course under their belt and nothing else.
Most of them just enabled the little shits to goof off and disrupt classes.
If you had a kid on their program where you worked, even worse cause the old hag would be on her phone in your breakroom while the kid fucked up all your facings. Nothing like trying to take your lunch and listening to a karen scream into her phone the whole time.
Most of them just enabled the little shits to goof off and disrupt classes.
If you had a kid on their program where you worked, even worse cause the old hag would be on her phone in your breakroom while the kid fucked up all your facings. Nothing like trying to take your lunch and listening to a karen scream into her phone the whole time.
- Joined
- Sep 26, 2023
Er... Does... does she not know that "authentic" Caesar salad dressing uses anchovy paste?
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
What a complete heathen.
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2024
Sounds like she has the classic autistic tastebuds and dislikes anything besides Kraft Dinner. If she realizes this she could save a lot of money.
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
It also uses worcestershire sauce, so theres that. Its supposed to taste like fish
Imagine ordering a salad you clearly didn't know anything about, then giving a bad review because it tasted how it was supposed to
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2024
THIS BITCH LIVES IN A CRACK HOUSE, YOU ARE FUCKING POOR ELLEN, YOU ARE FUCKING POOR BECAUSE YOU ARE A TALENTLESS HACK AND YOUR HUSBAND IS A CUCK. YOU ARE ALSO UGLY AS SHIT AND THAT IS WHY NO ONE BUYS YOUR SHITTY PORN. ENJOY YOUR CRACK HOUSE STALKER CHILD
- Joined
- Nov 5, 2024
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2024
Ellen is a keyboard warrior.
Who is she talking about?!
Maybe there were Nazis at the restaurant you ate at.
The word is getting so diluted.
Who is she talking about?!
Maybe there were Nazis at the restaurant you ate at.
The word is getting so diluted.
I have many leftist views. By having an account on here and not liking troons I've probably failed her litmus test and therefore I'm an evil nazi too. I'm also sad to see her son requires a handler. Will he even be able to comprehend how terrible her mother is? Or does he just rip textbooks all day like the speds at my schools?
- Joined
- Nov 10, 2024
- Joined
- Aug 16, 2022
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2024
- Joined
- May 18, 2024
Did you just ask a womxn to cite her sources, you fucking bigot?
WonderWino
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
Pathetic cope she says, despite the fact its easy to prove she does in fact bot her upvotes. I'd love to see her explain how she always gets more upvotes for her posts than there were people active in the subreddit in a given period
People aren't as stupid as you are ellen. We can do basic math
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2024
Women don't have to do that? I was Ellen's best friend in middle school. Here's just one story.
Ellen and the Pizza Confession
Ellen was thirteen years old, autistic, Catholic, and completely, utterly obsessed with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. She didn’t just like them—she lived them. Her entire room was a shrine to green turtle warriors. Her bedsheets? TMNT. Her toothbrush? Donatello-shaped. Her rosary beads? Green, purple, red, and orange. She even tried to make a habit of saying a Hail Mary after every episode.
She loved Donatello the most. “Because he’s smart and purple, like liturgical vestments during Advent,” she explained to her youth group once, to which they responded with a respectful nod and a whispered, “What’s liturgical vestments?”
Her social skills were… a bit of a work in progress. During Mass, she sometimes muttered TMNT quotes under her breath during the homily, like, “Wise man say: forgiveness is divine, but never pay full price for late pizza.” Her priest once asked her mom if she had some sort of audio Bible app going on in her headphones. Nope. Just Ellen whispering Michelangelo theology.
One time, she wore a full Leonardo costume under her school uniform for All Saints Day because, in her words, “He fights for justice like Saint Michael, and he has swords.” The nuns were horrified, but she got partial credit for enthusiasm and a deep moral sense.
Her most embarrassing moment, though, came during confession.
Ellen was a very thorough penitent. She had a whole notebook where she logged every sin. (She titled it “Sins and Stuff, Cowabunga Edition.”) She went into the confessional gripping it like it was her TMNT fan fiction.
“Bless me, Father, for I have sinned,” she whispered through the screen. “It’s been six days since my last confession.”
The priest on the other side braced himself.
“I, uh… I lied to my mom about finishing my math homework because I wanted to rewatch the 1990 TMNT movie director’s commentary.”
Pause.
“And I used the Lord’s name in vain… because Raphael got hit by a car and I screamed it, and I felt really bad right after!”
More silence.
“And I put anchovies on my sister's pizza on purpose because she said the Turtles were ‘just green frogs.’ I was vengeful, Father. Very Old Testament. I need penance.”
There was a long, long pause from the other side.
Then the priest coughed. “Say two Hail Marys and… maybe… take a break from pizza-related vengeance.”
Ellen gasped. “I can’t take a break from pizza, Father. I’m basically liturgically required to eat it. It’s part of my devotion.”
“…Just don’t throw it at anyone,” he mumbled.
Ellen exited the confessional beaming. She felt purified. She even went to the back of the church and drew a little picture of Splinter praying the Rosary.
But the absolute worst embarrassment came when she got her crush, Jacob (who liked Pokémon), to come over and watch TMNT with her. She meant to be super cool and mysterious—but forgot she had written “Donatello is my husband” in glitter glue on the back of her diary, which he immediately picked up, thinking it was a sketchbook.
He read it. Aloud.
She shrieked, bolted behind the couch, and refused to come out until her mom bribed her with communion wafers and chocolate milk.
Later, Jacob said, “It’s okay, Ellen. I once married my Pikachu in Animal Crossing. Wanna trade cards?”
Ellen paused.
“…Cowabunga,” she whispered.
Ellen and the Pizza Confession
Ellen was thirteen years old, autistic, Catholic, and completely, utterly obsessed with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. She didn’t just like them—she lived them. Her entire room was a shrine to green turtle warriors. Her bedsheets? TMNT. Her toothbrush? Donatello-shaped. Her rosary beads? Green, purple, red, and orange. She even tried to make a habit of saying a Hail Mary after every episode.
She loved Donatello the most. “Because he’s smart and purple, like liturgical vestments during Advent,” she explained to her youth group once, to which they responded with a respectful nod and a whispered, “What’s liturgical vestments?”
Her social skills were… a bit of a work in progress. During Mass, she sometimes muttered TMNT quotes under her breath during the homily, like, “Wise man say: forgiveness is divine, but never pay full price for late pizza.” Her priest once asked her mom if she had some sort of audio Bible app going on in her headphones. Nope. Just Ellen whispering Michelangelo theology.
One time, she wore a full Leonardo costume under her school uniform for All Saints Day because, in her words, “He fights for justice like Saint Michael, and he has swords.” The nuns were horrified, but she got partial credit for enthusiasm and a deep moral sense.
Her most embarrassing moment, though, came during confession.
Ellen was a very thorough penitent. She had a whole notebook where she logged every sin. (She titled it “Sins and Stuff, Cowabunga Edition.”) She went into the confessional gripping it like it was her TMNT fan fiction.
“Bless me, Father, for I have sinned,” she whispered through the screen. “It’s been six days since my last confession.”
The priest on the other side braced himself.
“I, uh… I lied to my mom about finishing my math homework because I wanted to rewatch the 1990 TMNT movie director’s commentary.”
Pause.
“And I used the Lord’s name in vain… because Raphael got hit by a car and I screamed it, and I felt really bad right after!”
More silence.
“And I put anchovies on my sister's pizza on purpose because she said the Turtles were ‘just green frogs.’ I was vengeful, Father. Very Old Testament. I need penance.”
There was a long, long pause from the other side.
Then the priest coughed. “Say two Hail Marys and… maybe… take a break from pizza-related vengeance.”
Ellen gasped. “I can’t take a break from pizza, Father. I’m basically liturgically required to eat it. It’s part of my devotion.”
“…Just don’t throw it at anyone,” he mumbled.
Ellen exited the confessional beaming. She felt purified. She even went to the back of the church and drew a little picture of Splinter praying the Rosary.
But the absolute worst embarrassment came when she got her crush, Jacob (who liked Pokémon), to come over and watch TMNT with her. She meant to be super cool and mysterious—but forgot she had written “Donatello is my husband” in glitter glue on the back of her diary, which he immediately picked up, thinking it was a sketchbook.
He read it. Aloud.
She shrieked, bolted behind the couch, and refused to come out until her mom bribed her with communion wafers and chocolate milk.
Later, Jacob said, “It’s okay, Ellen. I once married my Pikachu in Animal Crossing. Wanna trade cards?”
Ellen paused.
“…Cowabunga,” she whispered.
Last edited:
- Joined
- Oct 8, 2019
Hello. I have come here to call this lady a retarded niggerfaggot.
That is all.
That is all.
- Joined
- Sep 15, 2024
This has the classic structure of a midwit liar trying to launder the accusation that's actually real by batching it with some reductio ad absurdum bullshit. Start with two examples that are obviously crazy, followed by a suspiciously detailed and plausible thing that she's trying to quickly sneak in there as a list of things that "all aren't true".
So if my theory is correct, then everything after the "5 businessmen in Japan" part is very real. I hadn't even considered that maybe she really was whoring herself out physically to the mods, and then using that as blackmail on them. So thanks for putting that in my head, Ellen. Now I believe it.
- Joined
- Mar 27, 2024
Probably not sleeping with them, but I can believe giving them special discounts for her onlyfans, wether it’s only 25% or 100%(if you catch my drift)