Zoosadist Claudio Hernández Castañeda / FakeAFClausMystery / ClausMystery / ClausWritesThings / ClausofLions / Yayotzin / Yayofangamer / Gonebythedust - Mexican Furfaggot. Disowned Synthcel. Cub Fur Author. Pseudo-Diety of the Popufurs. Hates Gringos. Bisexual Shapeshifter. The Raped. Tracheal Tube Tard. Pink Triangle Halal. Total OPsec Disaster. A Lesson in Lurking. Still The Same Nigger 10 Years later.

[That Other Dude's Persona]

It would be hard to clean the mess. So much shattered bone, blood, flesh and brain matter.

You always go into a lot of detail when it comes to gore and violence. Why so fixated on that? Have you ever hurt anyone? Besides the supposed fire poker incident. Was that bloody?

 

[JohnnyGringo]

I would easily break his finger after grabbing it. What's next?

Before you say something retarded, I need to remind you that a broken finger would fucking stun even the biggest macho man for enough seconds for me to push them (down the stairs or a window).

But how would you get up the stairs if you're stuck in a wheelchair?

 

[Claudio Hernández Castañeda]

It's okay dude, just go ahead and lie.

The selfie was literally taken standing up. Can't you see the photo? The height doesn't fit your hypothetical scenario.

 

[Admiral Throbnelius]

You DON'T want to know what happens when an old school Remington typewriter falls on your face, mate. It's a nasty sight, I can easily imagine it though.

It would be hard to clean the mess. So much shattered bone, blood, flesh and brain matter.

Look hombre, I'll give you this. I've never seen anyone attempt to flex their strength by claiming they can easily lift a typewriter. I'm sure all the cartels are shaking in their boots knowing Claus can lift a fucking Remington typewriter. Dios fucking mio!

 

[Tread Miller]

Hmhmm. I totally raped that cat, totally. I raped it so hard, I sent it to the fourth dimension and it became a schrodinger's raped cat!

Admitting to your crimes to own the haters. Claudio will NEVER stop winning!

 

[Nicholas II of Russia]

I would easily break his finger after grabbing it. What's next?

This made me laugh more than it should have.

Maybe we can call a mod to move him to the Internet Tough Guy category? He's more hilarious when he's threatening people like a retard dwarf trying to look dangerous.

Big chihuahua energy from this tard.

 

[The Strongest Haaton]

finger fucking even the biggest macho man for enough seconds for me to push him down

Claudio

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

You DON'T want to know what happens when an old school Remington typewriter falls on your face, mate. It's a nasty sight, I can easily imagine it though.

This is probably the lamest threat I have ever heard. "You better think twice before tangling with me, bro. I carry a typewriter!"

Hell, you should hear how fucking loud I sneeze sometimes. I sneeze so hard that my my dog Davi always gets scared

I would be scared of a known animal rapist also.

 

[Claudio Hernández Castañeda]

You always go into a lot of detail when it comes to gore and violence. Why so fixated on that? Have you ever hurt anyone?

Self defense is a God given right.

Tl;Dr, yes. I stabbed someone's scalp with a pen and left them with a scar. Who knows how that specific part of his scalp looks nowadays! By the way, the pen didn't have it's cap on, so it was with the ballpen tip.

And his parents forced him to tell me he was sorry for harassing me. He was fucking sobbing, mocus and everything. I didn't care and told him to "leave me alone".

You don't fuck with an usually reserved, silent man who has a 20 year old pent up anger, guys.

 

[Tread Miller]

This made me laugh more than it should have.

Maybe we can call a mod to move him to the Internet Tough Guy category? He's more hilarious when he's threatening people like a retard dwarf trying to look dangerous.

Big chihuahua energy from this tard.

If only he could be in both categories, he's definitely a furry so Animal Control fits him as well. Maybe Claudio can be the first lolcow to be in two categories at once, just more proof he can NEVER stop winning

 

[The Strongest Haaton]

Self defense is a God given right.

But you don't believe in the LORD

 

[Cheesy Beavy]

had buck teeth (we called him Beaver for that)

Keep my name out yo moe fuckin mouf pedo fur.

I made Gustavo seethe so hard that somehow he tracked me down on the Internet 10 years ago and (allegedly, he never confirmed it was actually him) tried to shit talk to me.

skitzo arc incoming?

Do I look like a twink like he did? (And very likely still does)

Yes. Simply put yes.

Do you lust over young boys' lips?

No, he lusts over puppy lips. The kind in the front and the back.

You do understand that my illness is on the very low spectrum, like? My doctors literally said my only issue here is breathing out. Inhaling is on normal parameters.

Give us some video proof. Otherwise, I'm going to stick with the fact you're a disabled retard.

Tl;Dr, yes. I stabbed someone's scalp with a pen and left them with a scar. Who knows how that specific part of his scalp looks nowadays! By the way, the pen didn't have it's cap on, so it was with the ballpen tip.

Wow, so tough Claudio. Was it the same pen you fucked up your notebook with?

 

[Po's Cootah]

You don't fuck with an usually reserved, silent man who has a 20 year old pent up anger, guys.

Oh, no, I'm so scared of a manchild with a tube on his neck who spends all day crying on the Farms! Help me!

 

[Claudio Hernández Castañeda]

typewriter

The typewriter in question:



Good luck surviving this big boy falling on your face, guys. That's 8kg+

 

[Nicholas II of Russia]

Tl;Dr, yes. I stabbed someone's scalp with a pen and left them with a scar. Who knows how that specific part of his scalp looks nowadays! By the way, the pen didn't have it's cap on, so it was with the ballpen tip.

And his parents forced him to tell me he was sorry for harassing me. He was fucking sobbing, mocus and everything. I didn't care and told him to "leave me alone".

You don't fuck with an usually reserved, silent man who has a 20 year old pent up anger, guys.

We have an indio Lethal Weapon over here.

 

[Claudio Hernández Castañeda]

We have a Lethal Weapon over here.

I legitimately wonder how have I forced that kid to explain why there's a ballpen formed hole in his hair. Must be awkward.

 

[Tread Miller]

Good luck surviving this big boy falling on your face, guys. That's 8kg+

Did you drop it on your neck back in September 2012, giving you your tracheal tube? Maybe you shouldn't be carrying around heavy objects while drunk...

 

[The Strongest Haaton]

The typewriter in question:
Good luck surviving this big boy falling on your face, guys. That's 8kg+

Are you directly threatening me, Claudio? Or the others here?

 

[Claudio Hernández Castañeda]

Are you directly threatening me, Claudio? Or the others here?

— You rn

 

[Nicholas II of Russia]

I legitimately wonder how have I forced that kid to explain why there's a ballpen formed hole in his hair. Must be awkward.

Easy there, Hijo del Mencho. That adrenaline from your thirst for blood will hurt your tracheal tube.