🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[👑Duster King👑]

Wow. That's almost as wild as the time when he fought off four muggers at once in Portugal! A real man's man, that Ralph.

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

Ralph's plan of lying about so many things all at once so it's impossible to refuse to them all is actually pretty genius.

 

[Daddy's Angry Juice]

Ralph's plan of lying about so many things all at once so it's impossible to refuse to them all is actually pretty genius.

It would be genius if it wasn't for the fact that he's Ralph so everyone just assumes he's always lying.

 

[Bill Evans 45]

And when you were in recovery???? He's too much

I'll have you know he's in recovery for hours at a time. He ain't using when he's asleep. Checkmate bish!

 

[AncientPhosphur]

“Ah luv muh son…. YOU MEST UP MUH HAT BISH”

 

[FuckMeGentlyWithAChainsaw]

Ralph's plan of lying about so many things all at once so it's impossible to refuse to them all is actually pretty genius.

Gish Gunt gallop

 

[sufferhorse]

so he went to a bar in cali, got drunk and abnoxious, people almost beat the shit out of him, and had to literally RUN across the border to his mexican safe haven.

Thats the guy who was crying about being a great person and mistreated father 2 hours earlier.

He goes, sees dax's son (xander is not his) and inmediately after he gets high and drunk, Within the hour.

 

[ascension failure]

I'm just glad that Ralph made it Tijuana safely so we can hear about more jail time or losing his bananal virginity to strange men on the roadside again.

 

[AltisticRight]

That's just a vacuous tautology and reduces us to nothing but mindless drones.

Oh no, two more words Ethan Ralph has to look up on Google. We will know which two during the next KILLSTREAM BABEHHH.

>Breakfast
Slim 180 pounds, anyone?
That's a dinner portion in literally every other country. Piggy slop lover.

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This took me 2 minutes to make and 5 seconds to render. Who has time to read that drivel?

Blahblahblah
Be entertaining. Pick up another dozen of pills.

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Groyper power is increasing guys.

>too long
Your house isn't even glass. It's a literal tin box. A can of heinz beans lives in a better estate.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

Scrolling through some earlier tweets.

LMAO. Anthony Hopkins? I was really confused because why is Ralph taking cliched sounding advice from an esteemed English actor. Also that didn’t sound like anything Hopkins would say, it sounds like shallow female self-help BS.

At first I thought wet brain might be confusing Tony Robbins with Anthony Hopkins but no Ralph is reading some poorly written self-help tripe some Pajeet copy and pasted and then stuck Anthony Hopkins face to it so idiots like Ralph would read and think it was extra deep and profound cuz a famous old guy said it.

Ralphamale is a true clickbait philosopher.

 

[Die For Me!]

https://archive.is/IlNSl

 

[The Polaroid Man]

getting the black Spider-Man for your white son is... weird.

Ralph voted for Obama and now Xander has Miles Morales as a childhood idol. History repeats itself.

Good on Jim and his wife for staying together and staying positive

I’ve spectated da sektur since 2018 and it’s sad that the person with the happiest life is dying at 43 in the arms of his loved ones

Ethan, you’re delusional if you believe you can be a decent father at your current state. Your children would be better off if they had Ronnie as a father. You’re fucking it up, bud. Stop blaming everyone else for your dumbass decisions. This receipt flaunting is pathetic, but on brand for you. Please, get your shit together.

Why on earth would an ass-raping pedophile pile of white trash be any better of a father than Ralph? I’m glad he’s burning in hell away from the kids waiting for El Cerdo Furioso to join him when he inevitably dies on the border.

 

[sufferhorse]

he is SO alone. so so alone. trying to connect with literally anyone that lends their ears to him.

great going ralph. drunk by noon, high by 7.

 

[SilkyJohnson]

Reading Ralph's visits with his son sounds closer to the POV of a fellow child roped into these playdates than the actual Father.

"It was reallly funnn. We played with cars and dinosaurs".
"I wore my best new red hat and it got dirty, which made me angry. But I was a brave boy and didnt cry"

 

[MadStan]

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What Ralph is really saying is someone stood up for him and defended him, because he is a dwarf and is considered a cripple; the guy thought he was doing a public service by protecting a cripple. On the other guys twitter he will be telling a story about how this poor dwarf cripple was being picked on unfairly, and he stood up for the poor guy.

 

[Rage Pig]

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"The chick who I told my whole life story" rofl. 90% chance this never happened, but if true, my condolences Ms. Chick for having to suffer through this, caught in a cloud of tampon breath.

And if you have five seconds to spare
Then I'll tell you the story of my life:

"I wuz born a white trash nigger, went on to live like a white trash nigger and am planning to die as a white trash nigger"

 

[Trans Randy]

The entire room was still, but then erupted into thunderous applause, each proclaiming themselves HUGE fans of Da Keelstream, akchualley.
The secret KiwiFarmer BISH, now disgraced, ran out of the room crying and joined Hunter's new spicbitcheslovewhitecock.porn like the DUMB WHOAR she was.
All the other children gave a Hitler Salute and started singing Ye's "Cousins" in unison.
An eagle named La Raza Mexicana flew threw the window and perched upon a blossoming cactus and wept a single tear of pure Maker's Mark.

And that little quiet boy in the corner?
Was David Foster Wallace.

 

[Gator_Aids]

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What's funny is if this dude actually wanted to make money he would be on ip2. instead he tweets about it and gets...nothing.

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“I do wut ah wan!”

https://youtu.be/z0-KZS1dDyw?si=lOslMs8I3U1g0px5

---

 

[Um...]

"The chick who I told my whole life story" rofl. 90% chance this never happened, but if true, my condolences Ms. Chick for having to suffer through this, caught in a cloud of tampon breath.

And if you have five seconds to spare
Then I'll tell you the story of my life:

"I wuz born a white trash nigger, went on to live like a white trash nigger and am planning to die as a white trash nigger"

That whole post reads like parody that could have been written by someone here.
- “The staff there loves me and ushered me outside.”
- “This chick who I told my whole life story to said..” (like the sex worker he had a ‘deep connection’ with in Colombia) Both of these things really totally happened. In ralph’s head.
- Also “Ah axed him if had fun and he (Xander) said ‘yes dad I had fun.’ Totally something a four-year-old would say and not bad chatGPT fiction written by ralph.
The comedy writes itself (or is written by the ralphapiggy.)

 

[Don'tAnalizeMeBro!]

Regarding when Pantsu left, IIRC wasn’t he in the middle of going back and forth between visiting “MAH SUHN!” In Sacramento and Dax in SoCal when she fled with Cozy Rozy.tv even though he tried to hide the passports from her? He may have been “in recovery” or “tapering” when they met up after that but obviously that didn’t last long if he ever was doing less in the first place and not just lying to get Pantsu back.