🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[LiquidChrisRespecter]

The idea of Ralph trying to pursue a health arc is farcical.

Chantal has a better chance of turning her life around, for fuck's sake.

 

[Ethan Ralph's Low IQ]

“The staff there loves me”

Lol. Lmao.

That's an example of the Ethan Ralph Tell, the littlest of Little White Trash Lies that lets you know everything that's preceded it was bullshit and whatever comes after it is also a ralphalie. Can any one of us imagine a scenario where ANYONE that has to come in contact with Ralph ends up actually liking him??? Seems a bit of a stretch. Particularly when we know that sober Ralph is usually shittier than xannied Ralph. Nah. Thats the one lie that sinks the rest of his fiction. And he does for everyone of his lies. My guess, is lil' Xanny was bored out of his mind while our rapidly aging ragepig uncomfortably stared at him through plexiglass.

 

[lester]

Real massive W there. It's pretty cruel to show up with "gifts" he can't have.
The only toys he wanted was that RC car and the dinosaur.
Ralph's like yeah son I bought you these things but it's only for me to play with while I'm here. How's that little buddy?
This fucker, knowing he's not supposed to buy shit like that does so anyways just to take them back from him. Great Ralph, you really owned the alogs.
27+42= 69 dollars back in your pocket. Cha-ching

 

[BigPeanut]

However, if we do, then you can’t tear the broken POS down when they do the right thing and then get mad when they don’t. To choose that means it could be chosen for any of us as well.

“It’s about the ethics in laughing at a gunt pig rapist monster!”

Lol I’m going to make fun of everything he does because it’s funny.

 

[Updatedmyjournal]

“The staff there loves me”

Lol. Lmao.

How Dare you! I'll have you know that Ralph is a gold winning Olympics boxxing champion. I'ts just that alogs stole his footage of it.

 

[HackerX]

This is the types of visitations abusive addicts get with their kids. It’s supposed to be a motivator to get their life together but Ralph cannot handle more than 8 hours a year and seems fine with it.

The hilarious part is, is how he's completely unaware of the circumstances that led him here nor the circumstances themselves. The court didn't enact such limited visitation for it to be the pinnacle of Ralph's relationship with Xander. They did it because the next logical step is zero visitation, assuming the trend continues. He'll holler on X about father's rights, but that has nothing to do with his hourly plexiglass visits. The court deemed him a danger to Xander/Faith, hence the neutral location and third-party dropoff/observers. It wasn't meant to be something you do for all 18 years for Christ's sake, but Ralph can't comprehend that.

Can any one of us imagine a scenario where ANYONE that has to come in contact with Ralph ends up actually liking him???

Hell, I've never met him and I'm disgusted by guy!

 

[Don'tAnalizeMeBro!]

I think the rules of the center to be used by him for visits with “MAH SUHN!” Are that he not be high and/or drunk. Or at least not apparently so. IIRC when these visits started he had to pass a urine test but I’m not sure if that’s still the case.

“THE STAFF THAR LUV MEH!” = He was escorted out a’la Ron White’s “I Was Thrown Out Of A Bar In NYC” story.

 

[Um...]

“THE STAFF THAR LUV MEH!”

That and “…then mah SUHN Xander said ‘Yes, dad. I had fun.’” are the top two unintentionally funny lines in the whole fake narrative. Top tier comedy there.

 

[Dropa5pack]

Not likely. He just has 15 lb Amazon weights and ozempic

There’s no way he’s on a glp-1 drug those are expensive without good insurance, and this man stays in Tijuana instead of even a Chula Vista motel when he visits Xander.

 

[Updatedmyjournal]

Whats wrong with Gunt. If I had hours I would tell you.
Gonna be funny when someone makes a gunt video.

 

[HackerX]

https://x.com/TheRalphRetort/status/1926775786771460358

https://archive.ph/wip/xmJT7

Holy macaroni Batman. If someone blocks you, are you able to quote xeet them? If so, this is highly embarrassing. If not, this is even more embarrassing since it means he's trying to hide his fawning over his lost daddeh, Juju. Overall, it's all just highly embarrassing.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

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https://x.com/TheRalphRetort/status/1926775786771460358

https://archive.ph/wip/xmJT7

Holy macaroni Batman. If someone blocks you, are you able to quote xeet them? If so, this is highly embarrassing. If not, this is even more embarrassing since it means he's trying to hide is fawning over his lost daddeh, Juju. Overall, it's all just highly embarrassing.

Ralph also has no clue that saying is way older than fucking “Bo Jack Horseman” its a fucking proverb ffs. He really is clinically retarded and his entire education is WWE, Jerry Springer and a few movies made after 1990.

 

[W@rui]

X/Nitter/Archive

Video:

 

[Die For Me!]

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If you're too much of a beta cuck to make eye contact with the camera, then why bother filming without your eye absconders?

The skin above his eyes is drooping so low you can blind him with dental floss

 

[Sicko Hunter]

The idea of Ralph—a man who lived with his mother until he was 30—telling someone his life story is hilarious to me.

 

[Rage Pig]

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What's with Faith bringing back the fucking dinosaur? He can't stop tweeting and talking about this and sounds like an absolute retard. Big deal that she brought a shitty piece of plastic back, you should write a whole chapter in your book about this sensational happening you brain dead freak.
He looks like he hasn't showered in weeks and glued some road kill on top of his head. The shifting eyes give the impression of a fat rat trapped in a corner, looking for a way to escape.
Enjoy your 5 star days in Merida, and don't forget to tell us why you plan to miss your two visits to your beloved son in June, you told us how wealthy you are a few days ago, can't be a money issue then. Don't you luv your son Ethan? Playing 4 hours with a 4 year old child was so exhausting that you need a month to recover?

 

[Drunkensailor]

It's not that he cannot afford to visit his son every month. He is unable to contribute to both his son and daughters college fund, in addition to flying to TJ every month. You stupid alogs do not understand that providing for their future is more important than bonding with them in their formative years.

 

[Dizzyuntildeath]

Ralph when was the last time you talked to your daughter?
Mah wut?

 

[The Polaroid Man]

Not 90s spiderman? Pleb's taste

GET BACK HERE, METOKARRRRRRRRRRRE! YEW CAN'T ESCAPE ME BISH!!! I'LL CHASE YOU TO THE ENDS OF THE EAAAAAAAAAARTH!!!!!!!!

 

[FuckMeGentlyWithAChainsaw]

Ofc, everyone else sees it as "Imma gonna force my suunn to see meh whether he a'likes it or nahht.

He can stomp his piggy hoof about "muh right to see muh suun" all he likes but one day when Xan is thirteen and he says "I don't wanna see that fat loser and you can't make me", what's Faith supposed to do about it? Wrestle him to the ground and drag him to the car? Call the cops?
Abusing legal mechanisms to force your children to interact with you is a great way to alienate them completely. Both of his children are future "here's why I went no contact with my dad" stories.