Disney General - The saddest fandom on Earth

[Commander X]

 

[Pina Colada]

3) (And this left me absolutely gobsmacked) during the "WHAT ABOUT OHANA??" argument that ensues after Nani gets fired that Nani now says, almost verbatim, that what is supposed to be the catchphrase of the entire movie is a beautiful idea but "not realistic." I have never seen Disney gaslighting THIS hard that its old movies had bad morals (But I've also not watched most of their recent catalog...)

Wow. WOW. Family sticking together during good times and bad times is unrealistic? I think that might be worse than the bandaid-over-a-bullet-wound they call an "ending".

 

[Garbage of Cesspool]

So I (unwillingly) saw L&S today and yeah, it's everything you'd imagine, maybe worse. Too many script and character changes that rubbed me the wrong way to list. Besides the obvious, three things that stuck out to me as exceptionally dumb that I wasn't prepared for:

1) Unnecessary "Stitch died, loljk he's okay" ending.
2) Health insurance being a major plot point.
3) (And this left me absolutely gobsmacked) during the "WHAT ABOUT OHANA??" argument that ensues after Nani gets fired that Nani now says, almost verbatim, that what is supposed to be the catchphrase of the entire movie is a beautiful idea but "not realistic." I have never seen Disney gaslighting THIS hard that its old movies had bad morals (But I've also not watched most of their recent catalog...)

I CANNOT believe I forgot this one, but the grandma also encourages Nani to pursue college at the end by stating that Ohana "also means not leaving yourself behind." Whatever... that means.

 

[Pina Colada]

I CANNOT believe I forgot this one, but the grandma also encourages Nani to pursue college at the end by stating that Ohana "also means not leaving yourself behind." Whatever... that means.

It's your typical girlboss "treat yo' self" BS. Iger's nose is showing so much I'm shocked it didn't rip a hole through the script.

 

[Scarlett Johansson]

Greta Gerwig is handling Bambi. This is extremely bad for various reasons but also she's absolutely insane. She is a hardcore feminist and sjw. Expect a long winded monologue about the evil of hunters and Fawline giving some big le epic speech about how she's not like other deer. Flower will be a non binary skunk.

 

[Newcomer 42]

It's your typical girlboss "treat yo' self" BS. Iger's nose is showing so much I'm shocked it didn't rip a hole through the script.

Selflessness is a sin for the woke as they can't even comprehend such concept. That, or they're so sad they always go to the only place they know/love: the Californian college.
To study maritime biology. Despite Nani living in an island to boot.
It can't get any dumber unless she loudly proclaimed "I LOOVE CALIFORNIA!"

 

[Trilby]

No fuck that. Let Normies stay out of piracy because they ruin everything.

You can't be dumb in piracy.

 

[Calandrino]

So I (unwillingly) saw L&S today and yeah, it's everything you'd imagine, maybe worse. Too many script and character changes that rubbed me the wrong way to list. Besides the obvious, three things that stuck out to me as exceptionally dumb that I wasn't prepared for:

1) Unnecessary "Stitch died, loljk he's okay" ending.
2) Health insurance being a major plot point.
3) (And this left me absolutely gobsmacked) during the "WHAT ABOUT OHANA??" argument that ensues after Nani gets fired that Nani now says, almost verbatim, that what is supposed to be the catchphrase of the entire movie is a beautiful idea but "not realistic." I have never seen Disney gaslighting THIS hard that its old movies had bad morals (But I've also not watched most of their recent catalog...)

Weirdest thing to me is that they cut so many important characters and scenes, yet still ended up with a movie that's about 25% longer than the original.

Stitch's Iron Giant-esque character development was warped into some kind of pro-pitbull adoption allegory. They also censored Elvis.

 

[Kari Kamiya]

They also censored Elvis.

Fucking why, though?

 

[Betonhaus]

If the scientist guy that made Stitch was made evil, do the battle scenes seem like they're made to be an allegory for standing up to an abusive father?

 

[Garbage of Cesspool]

Weirdest thing to me is that they cut so many important characters and scenes, yet still ended up with a movie that's about 25% longer than the original.

And this is in spite of all the shot-for-shot bits feeling rushed. Absolutely bizarre pacing.

 

[GaryGray]

Once again the leaks about the movie were 100% accurate. Removing characters, changing the entire meaning of the movie to be the opposite of the original. The writers were so sheltered they couldn't even make a convincing argument why Nani had to leave.
Comparison of the ohana means family scene https://xcancel.com/CocoaFox023/status/1926088618113708201

https://xcancel.com/Vibetom/status/1926655967501939016

With that little detail now Nani is choosing to leave Lilo and is willing to get a sub par education to do so.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Weirdest thing to me is that they cut so many important characters and scenes, yet still ended up with a movie that's about 25% longer than the original.

Stitch's Iron Giant-esque character development was warped into some kind of pro-pitbull adoption allegory. They also censored Elvis.

Well we need fart jokes and a screaming goat joke

 

[Judge Holden]

Fucking why, though?

Him taking some level of inspiration from black musicians has predictably been narrativized into him genocidally appropriating sacred black music and literally lynching/gentrifying the communities of color he raped and pillaged

He stole the fire of music from negro olympus. For this sin he has been chained to a toilet where his PBJ engorged guts shall eternally be eaten by hood-bred pit bulls

 

[Psyduck]

I can't believe how averse these people are to the concept of self sacrifice, one of the most - if not THE most heroic action one can do

They hear that saying about good men growing trees whose shade they won't be able to enjoy, and come out thinking "well why plant the tree in the first place?"

 

[Jace on ice]

I'll give them some minor credit, "give your child up to the state to own the chuds" is a postmodern horror I haven't seen before.

It just keeps getting worse man.

 

[The Nothingness]

Maybe the bad word-of-mouth will cause a significant drop in the second weekend box office

 

[Jace on ice]

Maybe the bad word-of-mouth will cause a significant drop in the second weekend box office
View attachment 7417936

They keep bragging about it making 400 million or whatever but the OG made closer to 600 million when you factor in inflation and also cost less to produce so it still has a ways to go to beat it.

 

[Calandrino]

Fucking why, though?

Elvis is the King... of cultural appropriation. They were not going to have People of Indigenousness praising a straight white veteran who played "black" music. I saw that one coming. I have to admit I didn't anticipate the ending though.

This movie must land really weird for any adult who hasn't seen the original. It misses the point of the original, but taken on its own, it's not really about anything. Maleficent (for instance) might be a dopey woke commie movie, but it at least coherently develops its theme (white women must learn to forgive themselves and do whatever they want). In this case they took a story that was already about something else, whited-out the parts they didn't like, and the result is basically pointless.

They could've made a movie about Nani making the tough but sadly necessary decision to give up guardianship of Lilo, but they didn't want to go there. And of course aborting Stitch for being genetically defective would've ruined the whole plot.

And this is in spite of all the shot-for-shot bits feeling rushed. Absolutely bizarre pacing.

I should note that Jumba makes a goal of mutating Stitch into Experiment 627, a purely evil monster (that's new I think?). I was sure the climax would be Lilo going "I know you're in there somewhere!" and turning him back into Stitch with the Power of Love. But that never happens, there's not much of a climax, and nothing gets resolved because it turns out there was no actual problem in the first place.

They keep bragging about it making 400 million or whatever but the OG made closer to 600 million when you factor in inflation and also cost less to produce so it still has a ways to go to beat it.

Nani's pretty hot and dresses for Hawaiian weather. Tia Carrere's had work done but ultimately looking good. Take note Disney, that's how you keep from having a Snow White on your hands.

 

[Vyse Inglebard]

I should note that Jumba makes a goal of mutating Stitch into Experiment 627, a purely evil monster (that's new I think?).

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