Unpopular Opinions about Video Games

[Book Thief]

Nobody cares that much about that loliporn pedobaiting shit of a series.

How to ALSO tell me you've never played Touhou without telling me you've never played Touhou.

 

[pyrinyx]

How to ALSO tell me you've never played Touhou without telling me you've never played Touhou.

How to be a repetitive tard who has nothing to offer or contribute.

 

[Peep Plops]

How to ALSO tell me you've never played Touhou without telling me you've never played Touhou.

I have also never played those faggot games. Seethe about that next you terrible opinion-having animu pedo.

 

[GI Robot]

How to ALSO tell me you've never played Touhou without telling me you've never played Touhou.

I'm not a nigger so i don't play nigger games

 

[The Ugly One]

How to tell me you've never played a Touhou game without telling me you've never played a Touhou game.

I had never heard of this incredibly faggy shmup series until today, so I looked it up. Here is the entirety of a cutscene in Touhou 7, which was simply one of the top YouTube hits:



There are maybe 5 or 6 scenes of this quality. And yes, nearly every character is loli pedobait.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Mario 64 is a dogshit platformer held up by nostalgia and being part of a beloved franchise.

The physics are a little clunky and the camera can be a hassle, but it's a great game regardless.

Without hyperbole, I've never, EVER seen a game that tried to push so much of a core gameplay element (combat, in this case) on the player and then used every single other system to discourage and punish him for daring to engage with it.

Funny thing is it's like an action version of Sticker Star, a game where combat is best avoided but pushed on you.

Some are fun to me like the first 3 Spyro the Dragon games and Jak and Daxter: The Precursor Legacy.

Ape Escape might be the best of the 5th gen 3D platformers. It's an amazing game.

How to ALSO tell me you've never played Touhou without telling me you've never played Touhou.

He's not missing out on much if the one I tried was anything to go by (Double Focus).

 

[Prophetic Spirit]

I had never heard of this incredibly faggy shmup series until today, so I looked it up. Here is the entirety of a cutscene in Touhou 7, which was simply one of the top YouTube hits:

View attachment 7417258View attachment 7417260

There are maybe 5 or 6 scenes of this quality. And yes, nearly every character is loli pedobait.

Yeah, sometimes i need to remember the devianart quality of those games.

 

[The Ugly One]

Yeah, sometimes i need to remember the devianart quality of those games.

Here's more of the rich, in-game narrative of Touhou 7:



I figured that if anime dorks are this obsessed with what is otherwise yet another bullet hell shooter, there must be a manga for them to be autistic about, and there is. Now, you might be thinking it's just pedobait lolis, but...



There is no valid reason for an adult male to be into this.

 

[Calandrino]

It's not just about the ending. If a farmer has a quest to fetch his prize pig, and when I return, I have the option to click "keep the pig" or "return the pig," then "keep the pig" should result in me having a pet pig, or a cutscene of a pork chop meal, not the farmer saying, "No, you must give me my pig!" and returning me to the false choice menu.

You have the option to stop playing the game if you really don't want to use white phosphorus on the pig.

Its not that I dont understand its that I dont care. You were given a choice between a normal line and a silly line and you chose the silly line which rewarded you with a silly response. You put more weight on a throwaway line than actual gameplay.

Honestly, crafting a meaningful narrative out of canned responses to multiple choice questions is inherently limited. Contrast with the way Bad Dudes vs Dragon Ninja handles choices and consequences:



Instead of merely answering Yes or No, the player's actions over the course of the the entire game will determine whether or not he is indeed a bad enough dude to rescue President Ronnie. The player's quest is a journey of self-discovery.

 

[Book Thief]

The physics are a little clunky and the camera can be a hassle, but it's a great game regardless.

I played through it recently with a friend via the Co-Op Deluxe Mod, and my experience could pretty much be summed up as "I forgot how much I hate this game," as I do have previous experience with it, both on emulator and on real hardware. I get that it's an old game, I get that it's one of the first of its kind, but as a couple of guys who didn't play it when we were eight, it was a pretty miserable experience for the both of us. To say the physics are "a little clunky" and the "camera can be a hassle" was an understatement in our experience.

Beyond the camera constantly getting caught on geometry, half the time the controls didn't function because Nintendo had the absolute genius to put five different commands on the same button, so while I'm running around Bowser like a headless chicken trying to grab his tail, pressing B after getting in range causes me not to grab his tail, but instead do a dive, forcing me to start the process all over. Trying to get onto a higher ledge on some boat that only your triple jump will reach to grab a red coin? Well since you're on a rocking ship, the triple jump just doesn't fucking work for some reason. Trying to adjust yourself while on a narrow ledge of a pyramid? Well, buddy, Mario can't actually turn on a dime, instead having to make an about-face like he's a car, so down the pyramid you go! It's these constant, tiny bits of jank that your mind paved over because you've been playing this game since the nineties that just bubbled up onto the surface when I played it because I don't have nostalgia for it, so when people act like this game's an ageless masterpiece (which I have had people tell me before), it builds resentment that leads me to conclude that the game's only held up because of said nostalgia.

After finally getting enough Stars to reach the second floor, we were so fed up with the game that we just said "fuck it," and BLJ'd ourselves to the end, completing the game with a grand total of 34 Stars.

 

[Hentai-Semitism]

You have the option to stop playing the game if you really don't want to use white phosphorus on the pig.

 

[eDove]

Siren (PS2) has interesting and impressive mechanics, a nice soundtrack, but the game itself is actual ass.

 

[Retarded Weeb]

I had never heard of this incredibly faggy shmup series until today, so I looked it up. Here is the entirety of a cutscene in Touhou 7, which was simply one of the top YouTube hits:

View attachment 7417258View attachment 7417260

There are maybe 5 or 6 scenes of this quality. And yes, nearly every character is loli pedobait.

Most Touhou character aren't meant to be or look like children. The developer of the game draws everything himself and his art is just bad so everyone looks like a blob. The games also have nothing particularly sexual about them, that's all on the fanbase. Like at least 80% of Touhou fans don't even play the games or read any of the officially-licensed manga, they just saw art and comics of the characters by other fans and draw their own comics and porn based off that. Half the personality traits of any given character that everyone accepts as fact are actually just memes rather than anything from the games.

 

[demicolon]

You watch your character back for like 10-15 hours. I rather watch a nice curvy ass and turn the camera to see big tits instead of some flat ass dude and PECS.

If you are a man and you play as only men then you are really fucking gay in my opinion.

I will never understand that sentiment. When I was playing Gothic II for the nth time, my thoughts when staring at the main character's back weren't "man, I'm staring at a man's ass, I wish it was a woman's ass so I wouldn't feel gay" it was "what quests I can finish along the way and this armor is ass, I have to aquire a better one". If you have to stare at a pornstar's ass for 10 hours to suffer playing a game then maybe you should see a therapist?

Speaking of pornstars and ass, the Tomb Raider series were mediocre 80s style-platformers (Here's a pixel-perfect jump right before the end of the level! You didn't make it? Fuck you and start from the beginning!) that went viral only thanks to its main character being a thirst trap.

 

[Jace on ice]

I had never heard of this incredibly faggy shmup series until today, so I looked it up. Here is the entirety of a cutscene in Touhou 7, which was simply one of the top YouTube hits:

View attachment 7417258View attachment 7417260

There are maybe 5 or 6 scenes of this quality. And yes, nearly every character is loli pedobait.

I don't even disagree but loli = bad! Is slowly becoming some fucking reddit bullshit where every other Kiwifarms post is someone updoot farming by posting the same fucking thing over and over and over and over again.

We get it man, you're a good person and you like all the correct things and hate all the bad things, here's your reddit gold.

 

[Tom Nook's Gloryhole]

I don't know how unpopular this is, but considering it's in so many games, it must be. I really don't like the "illusion of choice" that a lot of games have. What is the point of giving me dialogue options if they don't lead to different routes and endings? What is the point of giving me 3 different ways of saying "Yes" to accept a quest if they don't change anything about the quest? If I'm given dialogue choices, they should all matter in some way.

Right, I feel the need to defend this somewhat. Not every fucking game can be an 'everything simulator', at some point the story needs to be pushed along with narrative choices that don't give you much leeway so you can get to the next chunk of content.

Whenever I see another of those 300 hour immersive RPGs with sprawling quest choices I can't help but feel like I'll only really be experiencing 10% of the game if I play it once. Give me a fairly linear game with a strong narrative and it'll be heaps better than the majority of immersive sims.

 

[Calandrino]

I don't even disagree but loli = bad! Is slowly becoming some fucking reddit bullshit where every other Kiwifarms post is someone updoot farming by posting the same fucking thing over and over and over and over again.

We get it man, you're a good person and you like all the correct things and hate all the bad things, here's your reddit gold.

"Just play a bullet hell without lolis" is certainly easier said than done.

 

[Achtung Bitter]

@demicolon Tomb Raider games were generation defining, the first three titles are masterpieces. Amazing level design, best platforming, great graphics and everything really.

TR II is a miracle for its time, stages like the sunken ship are a testament to Core’s skills.

 

[demicolon]

Maybe. Best platforming = tank controls sounds like a Monty Python skit to me.

 

[Achtung Bitter]

Well, to each their own.