Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[Sneed Force One]

Rekieta Report - Wednesday 28th of May

Peak Concurrent Viewers down 5.83% compared to last Wednesday (21/05/2025)
Average Concurrent Viewers down 7.14% compared to last Wednesday (21/05/2025)

 

[Midnight Energy Drink]

Oh sweet Jesus F. Christ. For any retard reading this and considering it:
1) It kicks in after up to 10 hours after you ingest it so it's very easy to overdo it if you don't know what you're doing,
2) The "high" is about as fun as a hangover, so unless you're doing life in prison I don't recommend it.
Source: trust me bro.

It's a prodrug, meaning your liver has to refine it into the active component that gets you high, meaning it's gonna have different effects depending on the person's metabolism. In the general case, it acts as a very shitty psychodelic amphetamine that lasts for up to 48 hours while making you violently nauseous for the whole time.

Sounds like someone abusing nutmeg would look like this:

(clipped from Nova902's clip)

 

[where's baldo]

I wish Nick had a media thread. Anyway I was looking for something else and found this.
Credit to whoever made it. I really LMAO at it.

lol, you're welcome.

 

[Soapmore]

That daughter in the stream image... she is SIX YEARS OLD? She looks like the size of a toddler. Are his children malnourished or something? What the actual hell is going on over there.

 

[3MMA]

I wish Nick had a media thread.

Thread 'Balldoverse Meme & Edit General'

May 28, 2024

Please post your misc memes and edits here so people can find them. Here's my contribution to the news the kids were hungry and dirty.

• Null
• Replies: 511
• Forum: Lolcow General

• 
• 
• 

 

[Sneed Force One]

"Please, for the love of god please co-host my show, I am falling asleep to the sound of my own voice. Branca won't return my texts, PLEASE"

 

[thebigdream]

I do not believe Nick has ever saved the life of anybody.

Maybe I'm cynical but I view these 'he saved my life!' type of comments in the same light as the 'my veteran grandfather died from boneitis' superchats, just people fishing for attention the only way they know how. It doesn't even make sense for Nick to have saved someone's life, not only is he incapable of it, his content wouldn't be helpful for anyone considering suicide unless the solution to their depression was gay drama and poorly analysed law, in which case they should probably kill themselves.

I understand your case was different because you were actually in contact with him, but Nick doesn't seem to even know who this person is.

 

[Smashed & Slamed]

Sounds like someone abusing nutmeg would look like this:

If he's huffing gas, and now free basing nutmeg then I guarantee you he is making Jenkem. The poor little pug is now his Jenkem slave.

 

[uhoh spaghettios]

machine generated

H u r t

 

[Shagedan]

RALPH 2.0 LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOO

The year is 2032. Nick Rekieta is living alone in Jamaica after seizing control of his trust from his dementia-addled parents and liquidating its funds on a dilapidated beachfront property. Alcohol and nitrous has totally robbed him of his ability to comment on trials or even complete thoughts.

Every day, Nick streams to an audience of 17 on Locals, making addled, nonsensical innuendo over footage of the Johnny Depp trial. Each sixteen hour stream nets him about 80$ - just enough for a bowl of rice, his addictions, and a coterie of black prostitutes. He’s resorted to faking eulogy supertips to meet his Whippit Wednesday goal. Hardly anyone cares to clip or discuss his wetbrained antics – except the Steeltoe Casino, where Camelot and a three hundred pound Aaron Imholte rake in the superchat cash screaming over paused stills of their jilted lover’s nega-gunt.

And despite alogs predicting that every year would be Nick’s last, he clings to life, animated purely by spite and sexual frustration, surpassed by his peers and mocked by a new generation of kiwifags that only ever knew him has Lord Balldo. Funny and Weird indeed.

 

[Dixieland Buckaroo]

That daughter in the stream image... she is SIX YEARS OLD? She looks like the size of a toddler. Are his children malnourished or something? What the actual hell is going on over there.

Kayla's short, like Ethan Ralph short. But it has been wondered, given all the kids seem a bit too slim and a bit short for their age.

 

[Major]

Ahh, he looks absolutely miserable. I love it.

5 more years

 

[not william stenchever]

I thought the moral of Lovecraft was about the incredible power of steam boats, including using them to defeat an eldritch god

Lovecraft was a boat nigga instead of a train nigga.

 

[Midnight Energy Drink]

The year is 2032. Nick Rekieta is living alone in Jamaica after seizing control of his trust from his dementia-addled parents and liquidating its funds on a dilapidated beachfront property. Alcohol and nitrous has totally robbed him of his ability to comment on trials or even complete thoughts. Every day,

Nick streams to an audience of 17 on Locals, making addled, nonsensical innuendo over footage of the Johnny Depp trial. Each sixteen hour stream nets him about 80$ - just enough for a bowl of rice, his addictions, and a coterie of black prostitutes. He’s resorted to faking eulogy supertips to meet his Whippit Wednesday goal. Hardly anyone cares to clip or discuss his wetbrained antics – except the Steeltoe Casino, where Camelot and a three hundred pound Aaron Imholte rake in the superchat cash screaming over paused stills of their jilted lover’s nega-gunt. And despite alogs predicting that every year would be Nick’s last, he clings to life, animated purely by spite and sexual frustration, surpassed by his peers and mocked by a new generation of kiwifags that only ever knew him has Lord Balldo. Funny and Weird indeed.

HOW MANY BLACK ABORTIONS DID YOU HAVE
HOW MANY BLACK ABORTIONS DID YOU HAVE
DAVID FOSTER WALLACE

 

[There She Glows]

Kayla's short, like Ethan Ralph short. But it has been wondered, given all the kids seem a bit too slim and a bit short for their age.

Yeah being a genetically short adult doesn't mean you were short when you were six. For women it usually means you stopped growing at twelve and your peers shot up past you.

 

[Oxyjen]

I thought the moral of Lovecraft was about the incredible power of steam boats, including using them to defeat an eldritch god.

I suppose it’s a bit of a Rorschach test.

HP Lovecraft is when tentacles

 

[Can of Bread]

The year is 2032. Nick Rekieta is living alone in Jamaica after seizing control of his trust from his dementia-addled parents and liquidating its funds on a dilapidated beachfront property. Alcohol and nitrous has totally robbed him of his ability to comment on trials or even complete thoughts. Every day,

Nick streams to an audience of 17 on Locals, making addled, nonsensical innuendo over footage of the Johnny Depp trial. Each sixteen hour stream nets him about 80$ - just enough for a bowl of rice, his addictions, and a coterie of black prostitutes. He’s resorted to faking eulogy supertips to meet his Whippit Wednesday goal. Hardly anyone cares to clip or discuss his wetbrained antics – except the Steeltoe Casino, where Camelot and a three hundred pound Aaron Imholte rake in the superchat cash screaming over paused stills of their jilted lover’s nega-gunt. And despite alogs predicting that every year would be Nick’s last, he clings to life, animated purely by spite and sexual frustration, surpassed by his peers and mocked by a new generation of kiwifags that only ever knew him has Lord Balldo. Funny and Weird indeed.

I'd say it's optimistic to think Rekieta will make it to 2032, but then I remember that Ethan is somehow continuing to inflict his existence on reality.

 

[Dizzyuntildeath]

HP Lovecraft is when tentacles

Howard knew what's up. Jungle fever? Go directly to the shadow realm.

 

[Major]

Aaron is like Joe from Idiocracy, he's the most average Midwestern white man you could find. I have no idea how he cultivates this ecosystem of seething parasites.

I guess I answered my own question. The toe-haters legitimately seem to be a mix of people with personal problems with Aaron and sub-normals who are angry he's doing so ok.

aaron is a waspish motormouth with no filter. He's not that far removed from Nicky, but still comes out on top of the 'dabbleverse' landfill

 

[keke]

His kids appearing on stream now with semi-regularity is 100% planned and fake. It’s not wholesome, it’s stomach turning, because he resents them.