Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[abobe]

You don’t by any chance have a timestamp for that, do you? I believe you. And I gotta fucking see this.

 

[Tingle]

The prospect of Jack one-handedly finagling his way through a game as pozzed as Borderlands 4 while gurgling his stroked-out guts over every Marvel reference tickles my pickle in an unspeakable way that I can't quite put into words. Please, God, if you're there, answer my prayers and let this happen.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

@abobe it’s even worse than you said. The delusions of relevance are INSANE.

Jack has ZERO idea how games PR works. This is unbelievable. Holy fuck he is NOT on the same planet with us.

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

Yeah, if one has diabetes that is not controlled and the person isn't on insulin, a keto diet can lead to diabetic ketoacidosis, which is really bad.

If you have diabetes and it's not controlled but you're on insulin, it's not a big deal, but we all know that fatty doesn't control his diabetes and it's pretty unlikely that he's on insulin given his hatred of BIG PHARMA due to AI botfarm slop on social media

lol if didney got into the pharma business, jack would love them. Imagine a GLP-1 with goofy on it (and a micro engraved LBGT+++ flag on them) Jack would love his wholesome family oriented pills no cuss words. They would lidurally be flinstone vitamins (that endorse titty skittles) but for adults. It’s not that far fetched given how broadly diversified didney had been at one point.

He’s such a boob. He hates the corps that can help him the most, but loves the ones that are trying to actively poison his body, culture, and economy because he grew up watching their cartoons from 80 years ago.



Edit: we rilly need to pressure Jack to do a show or series on Jewish delis or cuisine. Get him to make matzoh ball soup at the bare minimum. I want to see how badly he fucks up pastrami. Maybe some dishwasher kugel. Make a garnivore raghel (then smother it in jeez). Turn the entire show into an unintentional Larry David skit.

 

[Adamska]

@abobe it’s even worse than you said. The delusions of relevance are INSANE.

It was pretty apparent given how often he buys things like Hungry Jack's, Pepper Jack Cheese, and how he used to go to Jack in the Box to tantrum at tiny Tacos. He's such a narc and so stupid he like an actual baby really tries to use stuff that has "his" name in it.

lol if didney got into the pharma business, jack would love them. Imagine a GLP-1 with goofy on it (and a micro engraved LBGT+++ flag on them) Jack would love his wholesome family oriented pills no cuss words. They would lidurally be flinstone vitamins (that endorse titty skittles) but for adults. It’s not that far fetched given how broadly diversified didney had been at one point.

He would given he also has a Looney Tunes bowl he likes to display, and he also has a goofy themed coffee mug that he used to use a lot.

It's just hilarious to see him watch a film that ends with the state taking the kids and then gurgling "gud family morahls" at it. Such cattle behavior.

 

[p1138]

That's kind of amazing. "tell them we'll reach tens of thousands of people" as if Gearbox's marketing won't just look at Fatty's youtube and Rumble pages and see he gets 1000 views on a youtube livestream and can't break 100 on rumble.

 

[Neko GF]

FREDDY'S STEAKBURGERS - CLARKSVILLE, TN​

(05/28/25)

Original:

Preserve Tube: https://preservetube.com/watch?v=X6Bj8wlZu04

Spoiler: Local Archive

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

Stegg Borgles gaiz! They are blowing up on the internet but I don’t know what stegg borgles even means.


They have a speshul guest! Tammy Jr with Jamal Traynor in utero

Check out the guy at table 11 watching Tammy deep throat that ALL BEEF hoddog with a look of disgust on his face.

Anyone want to see if this restaurant is near a hospital or medical building?

I’m only eating half my lunch today (local bakery baguette, locally sourced butter, mild ham, cornichons, black cold brew coffee) Fuck these slobs .

 

[Mechanical Pencil]

Is it just me or has the top of his flattened out more?

 

[ILikeYou]

His brothers know how dumb he is, don't they?

FREDDY'S STEAKBURGERS - CLARKSVILLE, TN​

(05/28/25)

Original:

Preserve Tube: https://preservetube.com/watch?v=X6Bj8wlZu04

Spoiler: Local Archive

View attachment 7422324

Remember when Jack declared that he knew his son's first child would be a girl, bc he had a dream about it, and wanted to name her Acacia, apparently after the wood that can be used to make cutting boards? And he said he wanted to get a cutting board made of that with her name engraved in it, to hang it on the wall or something. The great Jack was wrong?! How--he has a special connection to god!

 

[Daddy Strokum]

Is it just me or has the top of his flattened out more?

Has he ever addressed his strange head shape?

 

[Steak Tartare]

FREDDY'S STEAKBURGERS - CLARKSVILLE, TN​

(05/28/25)

Original:

Preserve Tube: https://preservetube.com/watch?v=X6Bj8wlZu04

Spoiler: Local Archive

View attachment 7422324

00:35 I cannot stand his headshape, speed of speech, and how little he gives a fuck about editing or conveying interesting information.
1:41 Tammy says “we are meeting a special guest.” Jack follows up “oh yeah, we may meet a special guest.” Mushbrain. (Going back and editing this, the special guest ended up being his daughter in law?? Who was already in the car at this point?? Is that really a special guest??)
1:51 he looks stupid enough that he would fit right in with the One Flew Over the Cucoo’s Nest crowd.
2:30 Oddly his filming of the restaurant space is pretty good
2:50 a look at the menu. Nothing but huge sundaes and milkshakes, and big sloppy tall 950kcal plus burgers.
2:58 “Hallah- pen- yo” didn’t he live in SoCal?
I wish I was this entertained by looking at pictures of food. Jack is genuinely in his element, just naming meaty menu items and going “wow.” All of this shilling for a company is soul-less. Did you know they cater?
4:25 That’s Jr’s wife right? She actually seems healthy and happy and is hugely pregnant.
4:42 lmao the reveal of da borger.

It probably tastes good but this just looks like a mound of MEET with a bun on top. I guess this is the prime rib burger. He then pans to a fine enough looking hotdog and says “Everyone's going to try the uh.. you’ll take a bite?” Tammy “I’ll take a bite” Jack “okay”
5:30 How did Jr’s wife (Brianna) get talked in to joining this adventure lol
6:13 lol I thought he had given up the carnivore larp but it cuts to jack holding a piece of “”””prime rib””””” meat and dangling it in front of his nose.

“The seasoning” he declares. I doubt this is seasoned with much more than salt and pepper.
He looks like a well-trained dog with a bone balanced on its nose. Except jack is anything but well-trained.
6:16 This is not how food is eaten! AAAAAAA

bonus, take a look at that neck roll. This would make a good eating gif if any of you are good at that type of thing.
6:25 he is never happier than when meat is in his mouth
6:48 “was the skin tight and snappy?” talking about the hot dog.
7:15 Brianna explains what is in her milkshake. Jack responds with “so is that what you want to eat before you die?” what a weird comment to say about a pregnant and young woman. Perhaps Jack considers every meal could be his last and orders accordingly.
7:55 this is a small thing but Tammy has a burn mark on her arm from being the only one in the family who actually uses the stovetop.

8:15 No one expected any different but the sum total of all off the food review comments to this point are “its good.”
9:00 I wonder if Brianna ever stares too deep into the void and sees that her husband will eventually complete his transition into becoming a useless blobman like Jack.

9:20 Tammy’s review time. She blinks by my count FIFTY ONE times in 20 seconds.
9:55 Jack says “they’re not like a fast food place. They have a drive through. They serve and look like a fast food place but the flavors didn’t feel fast food ish if that made sense” Lmao this is a fast food joint through and through with burgers and fries. “The meat quality, and I’m picky about that, was really good.” DOUBT on Jack being picky about meat ever.
Nothing was said about what makes a brisket or prime rib burger different than a regular burger. What a useless video for no one.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Don't forget gays, anything sexual, or "the agenda", which he usually misses woke shit anyway because it goes over his malformed head.

Yeah like the movie that is "safe" for the family ends with an older sister putting her little sister in foster care so she can go to college in california for a marine biology degree because the movie lies about how health insurance works. Separation and Cynicism is okay as long as Jacky doesn't see a pride flag.

As did Disney? Which is why they marketed it heavily, had no embargo on it, and released it at the start of the U.S. summer film season? Fucker wants to act like he's Cassandra when all he does is feign expertise from a fart blanket.


It must be so exhausting to live a life where, no matter what you do, what you experience, what you learn or see or feel or taste, you feel as if you must rate it based on how angry it does or doesn't make you. How personally offended it does or doesn't make you. It is almost impossible to overstate how badly you need a goddamn life if you are obsessing about how Disney must "repent."

Yeah like that movie was going to make shit loads of money since Stitch is a very marketable mascot character that appeals to kids the same way a fucking pokemon does, Jack's predictions are only right if they're extremely obvious but he acts like he's a prophet for making basic observations, reminder this was the same man who said Spongebob would destroy Nickelodeon or that The Marvels would be this big turning point for Disney's redemption.

 

[Daddy Strokum]

2:58 “Hallah- pen- yo” didn’t he live in SoCal?

"Halla-pen-yo" is correct, not sure what you're suggesting it should be (t. beaner). He did say "hollow-pen-yo," though, so yeah he's still a silly goose.

 

[Super Hans v2]

and wanted to name her Acacia

Makes sense. A nigger name for a family of white niggers.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Makes sense. A nigger name for a family of white niggers.

No it's worse than that. It's the type of leaves that giraffes eat. And giraffes have prehensile tongues like Fatty and Hammy do.

They're already trying to turn Jr & Jr's child into a clone of themselves.

 

[Steak Tartare]

"Halla-pen-yo" is correct, not sure what you're suggesting it should be (t. beaner). He did say "hollow-pen-yo," though, so yeah he's still a silly goose.

I was picking on the 'pen' part- my understanding is it's more of a 'peen-jyo' than a 'pin-yo'
I am a honky tho so I trust you on that

 

[She Brings The Rain]

Is it just me, or has Tammy Jr slimmed up a little? She was a full on porker for a while. I know some people use pregnancy as a chance to eat better instead of going full slob mode.

 

[Daddy Strokum]

I was picking on the 'pen' part- my understanding is it's more of a 'peen-jyo' than a 'pin-yo'
I am a honky tho so I trust you on that

Yeah Spanish is pretty cool because for the most part each letter only makes one sound (e.g. "e" always sounds like it does in "end"). You actually got the more beaner aspect right, though! "Y" sometimes gets pronounced as an English "J" (as in "jar"). Does Tammy always blink that much or is it especially bad here? She looks like she just got 5 orgasms fucked out of her in that post-burger review.

Is it just me, or has Tammy Jr slimmed up a little? She was a full on porker for a while. I know some people use pregnancy as a chance to eat better instead of going full slob mode.

I think you're right. When she first joined the cast she was pretty fit. Then she ballooned, probably from spending more time at the Scalfani house. Maybe her OB told her to watch her weight gain during pregnancy. She'd be the first Scalfani to heed a doctor's advice.

 

[Mechanical Pencil]

Jack holds up a dangly bit of meat to his face to get himself excited. I hold up dangly bits of scrap cuts to excite my dog.

Jack is as easy to stimulate as a dog.

I'm not sure if that's really funny or horrifying.