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CareercowJack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental
Same deal with Australian aboriginals, much fatter on average than how they used to be, lean and strong build for their semi-nomadic lifestyle. I think South Pacific people's bodies cannot deal with western ultra processed food as well as western people. It's bad for everyone of course just look at Jack and what a life long a diet of fast food did to him. But I think south pacific people bodies are even less able to deal with that kind of diet. Also personal choice/agency in choosing to be lazy and not excercise and enough and eat the amounts they do of course. Like Jack having a gimp arm for the rest of his short life because he didn't want to go to the effort with the physio to get his arm control back.
Why did he make the chicken in the slow cooker instead of a pressure cooker if speed was so important to him? You can cook a frozen whole chicken on high pressure at six minutes per pound (plus 15 minutes natural pressure release) and it will be tender, juicy, and fully cooked.
Of course Jack is Poo Anon. I’m so glad he’s miserable.
The one thing you can count on Jack for is doing something in the most retarded way possible, whether it's (attempting) to flash cook a chicken in a slow cooker, boil eggs in a pressure cooker, or make pizza in coffee cups.
Wow. Completely assblasted over $100. In the realm of medical payments that's fucking peanuts. What a strange hill to die on. That hospital visit could've financially ruined a person with shitty healthcare but he's blessed with a measly $100 copay and flips his shit. Imagine being his nurse.
The livestream yesterday with Jim ("Walmart, China and Product Design") was amazing. Usually I struggle to watch 10 or 15 minutes, but this one I gladly watched end to end and it was over an hour long.
Jim seems thoughtful and well-adjusted -- which put him at odds with Jack all the way through. The hilarious part? Jim wasn't even trying to hurt or troll Jack or make him look bad. In fact, he pretty obviously cares about him. It's just that:
Jim is naturally a much better person than Jack,
Jack isn't used to being challenged, because he purposefully surrounds himself with people who have the same ideas (and the same insecurities), and
Jack is especially rattled by being challenged in a calm and humane way, because that means:
He can't rage and moralize and deflect, and
The person challenging him (and their position, too, therefore) can seem not so bad.
This hour was the answer to a common hypothetical here: What would happen if a normal person had to try to meaningfully engage with Jack, one on one? Jim was our avatar (inasmuch as anyone who posts here can be called a normal person). He couldn't help but notice how dramatic and antagonistic Jack makes everything. He couldn't help but roll his eyes when Jack badly missed points or needlessly made things about himself. He couldn't help but make a face in surprise or disgust when Jack said something stupid. Also, he basically interviewed himself -- because Jack is a horrible interviewer, which is because he's a horrible conversationalist, which because he's a raging narcissist.
Let's get into it!
If this is post is too long, please let me know. I thought I saw posts in other threads that were this length, but if there is a better way to post, I'd like to learn.
Jack: [immediately starts wiping his nose with a rag] You'll see me wipe my nose a lot. Sorry, it's running.
Based Jim immediately embarrasses Jack for his lack of social grace. How does the host of a show (who's been doing it for 20 years) fail to properly greet a long-awaited guest who is also his own family?
A short time later, Charles inevitably comes up.
Jack: Our brother's nickname is Chawl. I don't know why.
Motherfucker. You spend half a century not knowing why your own brother's nickname is what it is, and a guest on your show immediately explains it, and the explanation is actually worth a damn (so many nicknames are just holdovers from how a child once said something). "Chawl from Chawlie because Brooklyn" is one of those A-plus reasons that can delight coworkers, friends, dates, etc. And Jack swats it away, because (a) he clearly never cared and (b) is also embarrassed by the fact he never interrogated it, so he must act like it's dumb and didn't matter anyway.
Jack: You know what the name of the show is, right?
Jim: Your show?
Jack: Yeah.
Jim: The one I'm on now?
Jack: Yeah.
Jim: [laughs] No, I have no idea.
Jack: You don't know the name? It's right on the screen!
Jim: ... "My Brother Jim"? [this was the name of the livestream at the time, before Jack changed it]
Jack: No, the logo between us. Can you not see "F As In Frank"?
Jim: No, I don't have that. I just have a small window of you and a small window of me and a bunch of other buttons. It doesn't matter. I don't care.
Jim continues to body Jack into ego death while not even trying.
It is well documented that narcissists like Jack are always trying to rewrite the past. Most do it to avoid accountability for something wrong they've done, but Jack also does it because he has nothing better to do and just wants Past Him to have done cool and funny things. It works when Charles, another narcissist, is on the show with him; or when Tammy, who doesn't give a fuck, is on; or when Cousin Jimmy, who is a sentient vape pen, is on. But Jim is too neutral and honest to understand he is supposed to agree and validate the rewrite.
Jack: If people met you, Day One, they would be blown away by how unalike you and Charles are.
Jim: OK. I think "blown away" is maybe a little dramatic.
Jack's lack of conversational skill is mind-blowing. He tries to over-compliment people to show how "nice" he is and how much he "cares" instead of actually being nice and actually caring by doing research and asking good questions. Maybe it's an ingratiating or even submissive tactic he learned by talking to Charles a lot, because when Charles hears over-the-top compliments, he nods pertly and agrees. Jim is more substantive, so not only does the flattery get Jack nowhere, but also it reveals Jack never even knew what Jim did. So all the "you can create something from nothing" stuff was the worst kind of flattery: invented, and seen-through immediately. Sad stuff!
Jack: [pathetically] What do I say that you do then?
Also, note the title of the stream as of this date still says, "Product Design" -- despite the fact Jim corrected him. (I didn't even capture here the detailed tangent Jim went on, where he explained to Jack the difference between design and development.)
After talking for some time about what Jim actually does for a living, the conversation turns to how Jim lives in California.
Jack: I gotta ask you: Do they still have Zankou Chicken?
Jim: [extremely confused] What?
Jack: A place called Zankou Chicken. Middle Eastern. They have many locations in California.
Jim: I have no idea.
Jack asks Siri, "Where in California is Zankou Chicken"? She responds, and Jim chuckles at the fact Jack's Siri has a British accent. Jack continues to ramblingly insist that Jim would love this place. Jim humors him by saying Jack is evidently "much more of a foodie" than he is; Jack responds by saying, of course, look at the differences between them physically -- as if everyone who loves food is morbidly obese and severely disabled.
At a certain point, though, Jim comes clean.
Jim: People are like, "Oh, you gotta see this! You gotta try this!" Like, I'm not gonna go.
Jack: [still talking about this random place his guest has never heard of and has just admitted they will never go to] Imagine baked chicken with Mediterranean seasoning ALL over it!
Ten seconds later (~21:30) Jack makes the same performative face and childlike sound when he says he doesn't eat pasta. YUCK. (It's a cartoonish blech-adjacent thing, as if to say a food is inherently disgusting.) Jim didn't seem to hear this, though, which I assume is the only reason Jack escaped the moment unscathed.
Of course, the only reason Jack now pretends rice and pasta are nasty is the same reason he pretends (or maybe sincerely thinks, who knows, he is fucking stupid) potatoes are unhealthy -- they have carbs, which are evil and bad and Make People Fat.™
32:50 Jim doesn't think Charles is a respectful person and is blown away by the fact Jack thinks he is. Jack bases his reasoning in the fact that even though Charles is an atheist, he always respects Jack's "faith."
Jim: Wait. That's separate. Him respecting your faith is different from him being respectful in general.
Jack: No, he is respectful. He is.
Jim: You think Charles is respectful?!
Jack: He gets more bitey than you. You just shut down. [INSECURE SELF-SOOTHING CHORTLE] You're like, "OK, whatever!" [INSECURE SELF-SOOTHING CHORTLE]
Jim: I don't say, "Whatever." I just know that I'm not here on the planet to change your mind.
It's impressive how well Jim can correct the record and stand up for himself while maintaining zen.
Also, deep down Jack knows that Jim is right -- Charles is awful -- but he can't admit it. Not when Charles appears on his show so often. That's why all those weird automatic chortles start coming from Jack. (Seriously, go listen to them.) They're a transparent defense mechanism. And they appear multiple times in this livestream because Jim's calm and easy rebuttals, which Jack can sense are valid, make Jack uncomfortable.
33:40 Jack says he's like to wade into some mildly political waters.
Jim: Ask me anything.
Jack: My opinion is...
Jim: [visibly settles in for an engaging question -- e.g., tariffs would be an interesting thing to talk about, given Jim's merchandising experience]
Jack: Starbucks is gonna die. Quickly!
Jim: [makes a face you really have to see to believe] Why would you say that?!
Jack: Where I live, there's Dutch Bros., and nationwide they've opened their 1000th store. There's 7 Brew, there's --
Jim: Yes, but you make this broad statement. Do you know how many stores Starbucks has?
Jack: Yeah, I know. [doesn't know, and didn't consider the possibility of instant, solid pushback] But they're hurting now. They're hurting bad. Their people are on strike. The whole thing's crumbling.
Jack is pathetically wish-casting -- at the vocabulary level of a seven-year old, by the way -- because something something Starbucks woke something, though he won't admit this to Jim.
Jim: It's not all crumbling. It's a multi-billion dollar business. They have, what, tens of thousands of stores? All over the world? Just because they're not doing well from your perspective locally --
Jack: [smugly, but also desperate to be agreed with] They had no competition. That's why.
Jim: Well, I would disagree. But having said that, just because you see them not doing well in Tennessee doesn't mean that the multi-billion dollar company Starbucks is doing bad.
Jim has bodied Jack again, effortlessly, and Jack knows this, so he starts talking about "a woman with a beard" who was "screaming" and "leading a protest" outside Starbucks as if that invalidates anything Jim has said.
36:20
Jack: [accusingly, with the tint of a Gestapo officer asking someone if they've seen a local Jewish family] Do you like Starbucks? Do you like the flavor?
Jim: Yeah, but Jack, it's a frappuccino. Who doesn't like the flavor of a frappuccino? It's usually the price people don't like.
Jack: Their beans are burned!!!
Jim: [barely suppressing an incredulous laugh] "Their beans are burned?"
Jack: You know when you roast coffee...
Jim: Look, I'm getting a frappucino. I don't even know if they use beans [to make that]. It's like a dessert.
Jack starts talking about bingo, and Jim is surprised to hear Jack plays (he probably hasn't been exposed enough to Jack to really comprehend how old he is in spirit, and how disabled he is in body.) Jack's brain pings randomly to a show he calls "The Jokesters," where four guys do random pranks to random people in public.
Jack: One of the punishments on that show -- every number, he had to yell bingo! Starting with the third number! [INSECURE SELF-SOOTHING CHORTLE] Of course if you've ever played bingo, you know three numbers ain't gonna do it! I never saw so many irate old ladies! Oh, dude! [covers his mouth to tee hee]
Jim: [is trying to engage but has to respond honestly] I don't know, I can't watch that show. I'm ... embarrassed? I know some people love it, but for me it's just like, "Ugh, don't do that [to people]. Leave them alone."
Whether or not you think Jim is a little bit of a wet blanket with this take, Jack is a terrible interviewer. He started walking down this random path, apparently without knowing his brother well enough to know he would be repelled and uninterested. (As we learn later, Jim probably had foundational experiences in public that involved people messing with him.) So Jack abandons this path, with no transition and no resolution, and just starts reading the chat.
(Also, the show Jack meant was Impractical Jokers, and the segment was this one.)
At this point Jack reads aloud a comment in the chat from Matt, who says he likes Jim because "he's way more rational and hasn't had his brain cooked by TikTok conspiracies."
Jack: See? That's how people talk. They think they're creative and witty, and they say stupid statements like that.
Jim: What's stupid about it?
Jack: You can't even read the attack? [voice quivers slightly] He's poking at me.
Jim: Jack, the world isn't wired to your butt. Could it have been about me?
This is the rare case in which Jack is right and Jim is wrong, but even in wrongness Jim shows how different he is from Jack and Charles. He assumes good intent in people.
Jim was very likely trying to describe how when he was a child, things were hard for him at school and at home because being gay (or maybe even simply "effeminate" at the earliest points) made him feel alone. Jack wants to do a narc-rewrite (in block letters and crayon) as if the Brothers Scalfani have always been this inseparable crew of Dudes Being Guys, but that probably isn't true. Jack either won't or can't interrogate that, however, so he did the next easiest thing and made it about himself.
Jack randomly admits he used to cry to the Tears For Fears album.
It's interesting that Jim remembers Jack as being "really popular." The most likely explanation is Jack just had a broad net of shallow acquaintanceships based on proximity and convenience (a.k.a., normal for high school) but deep down could sense that no one actually liked him. How often do "really" popular people not have girlfriends? How often do they habitually eat lunch alone in the library?
It's funny, though. Jack's ego is so fragile that even while trying to convince Jim that he was unpopular, he agrees with him and says, "I was," when Jim asserts how popular he was. Pick one.
Whether Jack was popular or not, though, Jim realizes there is something more important to call out: Jack's tendency to"rewrite history" (Jim literally uses this phrase) and make himself the victim in things, even when nothing especially bad has happened.
Jim: High school was tough for you -- like every other American. I just want to put that into perspective. I'm not trying to discount your feelings. What I'm saying is, you weren't "abnormal," Jack.
Jack: But you were popular!
Jim: Let's make it real clear -- I was popular in college. I was not popular in high school. Not for the right reasons. ... High school was horrific for me.
Jack's inability to meaningfully think about literally anything is unmatched. He can't connect the dots live. He can't connect them in retrospect. He has never had an epiphany. He has never recast an old event with new wisdom.
Jim is clearly trying to say that high school sucked for him because it was America in the '80s -- we're talking peak AIDS panic -- and everyone knew him as the gay kid. Now (and this would make for good conversation) Jack has the right to push back and say, "Hey, I might not have been [openly] gay but I do know I was very sad, and that still counts." That's tension, and I'd listen to that exchange. But Jack can't even get that far, because he can't even see that this is what Jim is talking about. And then Jack laughs and admits he never even thought about the fact high school might've been tough for his gay brother.
Jim also claims Jack was "good-looking" and "tough" in high school.
Good-looking is subjective but tough is doubtful. Again, Jim's a good brother, but literal thousands of videos (and lots of Jack's own writing) show that Jack is the opposite of tough:
Being afraid of real debate with people who actually disagree with you is not tough.
Using what little precious time you have left not hanging out with your family but instead ingesting conspiracy theories and live-streaming to a couple dozen people every weekend to soothe your ego is not tough.
Insulting doctors and hospitals and accusing them of deliberately killing innocent people just because they say your strokes are your own fault and you need to make big changes to have a shot at a quality life is not tough.
Insisting carnivore is Peak Health and doing it for a year and then not publishing the results because you know they'll make you look bad is not tough.
Making fun of strangers behind their back is not tough.
Turning off comments and making your accounts go private because you can't handle earned criticism is not tough.
Blaming your emotional breakdown on the West Texas Investors Club on the death of your mother (which happened years prior and had nothing to do with the proceedings) is not tough.
Threatening to shoot dogs in your neighborhood just because the Post Office has noted they are off-leash is not tough.
Antagonizing your elderly disabled mother in public to the point your own child tells you "you're so retarded" is not tough.
Crying that chili judges are trying to frame you when they don't declare you the winner after you've fed literal poison to the congregation is not tough.
Assaulting a child twice -- despite the fact he didn't push you the first time and "never fought back" the second time -- is not tough.
I guess in theory it's possible Jack was really mentally strong when he was younger, but then somehow rapidly devolved into the stupid pissbaby who slumps before us now. But again, evidence shows he was a timid moron as far back as 20 years ago. If he was some hardass dude in high school, then something changed for him very badly between his teens and mid-30s. His hair did, yes, but I specifically mean character-wise.
Jack says he's kind to people whether or not they think he's a "big bald fat white guy."
Jack: They have the choice to believe whatever they want.
Does Jack not identify as big, bald, fat, white, and a guy?
Jim explains that he is not "bold" like Jack and Charles but is "measured" because being bold never served him well.
Jim: If you ask me about guns, religion or abortion, I've got a position. The problem is people want you to say, "yea" or "nay," but I often understand both sides.
This post is already too long, so I'll simply note that if you'd like to hear one of the most thoughtful things anyone has ever said in the Scalfaniverse, then go to timestamp 49:25 and hear Jim talk about his stance on guns, and how living in different parts of the country helped him develop a nuanced position.
Jack: Would you be open to coming back on the show and doing Q&A?
Jim says he doesn't really want to come back because he's busy with work, doesn't think he's "that interesting," and "doesn't argue like Jack and Chawl" (i.e., he's the complete opposite of everyone else who's ever apppeared on F As In Frank). But he'd be willing to come back if the chat wants him to, and the chat clearly does.
Stray Observations
Jim went to "Bible college," as he calls it. Good for him. Interesting Jack turned out to be the performative Christian. Maybe actually studying it and living it remove the need to perform.
Jim has traveled to China a lot for work and is sincerely touched by how much the people there love American culture. People have almost obsessively asked him about malls, movie theaters, baseball, apple pie, old shows and movies, etc. He's met old Chinese factory workers (he worked in merchandising) who would ask him what he ate for breakfast, what he does on a typical Saturday, where he goes shopping, even if he drinks milk!
For that reason he finds it "heartbreaking" to hear how some Americans badmouth China -- though he understands this is more about the Chinese government than its people.
This has also made Jim think about what "American culture" is, because so often people say the U.S. has no "culture" because it's too much a melting pot to have a distinct one. He thinks he's got it, though: American culture is "rule breaking." Personally, that's the first proposal I've heard that seems it might fit all regions and all demos -- so, neat idea.
~40:00 "I think it's important to get along with people," Jim says to contrast himself with Charles. "And I care what people think."
Jim does not feed into Jack's assertion that Charles's anti-social tendencies are "hilarious."
Jim states that family and friends enable Charles to be the way he is, as well as the nature of his work.
In the same minute, Jim calls Charles "reactive" and Jack "emotional."
The one thing you can count on Jack for is doing something in the most retarded way possible, whether it's (attempting) to flash cook a chicken in a slow cooker, boil eggs in a pressure cooker, or make pizza in coffee cups.
The podcast with Jim is the first time I've actually managed to sit through anything Jack has done. How did Jack and Charles get all the bad traits and Jim the good ones? I also like how Jack said Jim just "shuts down" unlike Charles. As if wanting to avoid needless arguments and moving on to make better use of your time is "shutting down."
Edit for response to Jim's interview: The way Jack said it's so hi-larious and fun when the three of them get together and Jim begins to say that it very much is not just proves to me that Jack was a massive bully to his brother for being gay, but Jim still tries to semi-compliment Jack when he says he was popular in high school. Jim is truly a saint for not just distancing himself completely from his shitty, narcissistic family. He probably had to deal with an insane amount of bullshit at home and at school since people thought just touching hands was enough to catch the gay back then.
I think this more than anything else is why Jack tries to avoid talking to or referencing his other brother until recently. This is a man who cut and demolished a friendship just because he believed the comments on his channel should be allowed on for growth.
I think more than being a constant reminder of how Jack could've been gay and free, Jim just pissed him off for disagreeing with the cluster-B headcase. It'd explain why Jack only ever talked to him if it benefited him, like with getting his shit into Walmart of Doitbest.
For whatever reason Jack will take Charle's shit and run with it whenever that bald fuck who goons to ASMR corrects him, but can't brook it when Jim corrects him.
He probably had to deal with an insane amount of bullshit at home and at school since people thought just touching hands was enough to catch the gay back then.
I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING I EVER SAID BAD ABOUT JIM SCALFANI. It was all due to him being Jack and Chuck’s brother. I sincerely apologize and think that Jim is a great guy.
For whatever reason Jack will take Charle's shit and run with it whenever that bald fuck who goons to ASMR corrects him, but can't brook it when Jim corrects him.
Jack probably can’t deal with the idea of getting dominated by a(nother) gay man.
Jim is the one who should have a YouTube channel or at least a memoir. I’m amazed that a tolerable Scalfani exists, let alone one who seems so admirably sensitive, fair, and perceptive.
Jim is by far the most intelligent, rational and sensible Scalfani. In fact, it seems that he's the only one who is those three traits.
It's funny when he calls out Jack for being a retard in that video, too. "Just because you don't see Starbucks doing business in your area of Tennessee doesn't mean that they are doing poorly. They're a multi-billion dollar business, they know more about it than you do" lol
What a thoughtful, concise, and honest man. Growing up gay in the AIDS crisis must have really humbled this guy and given him a good sense of who he is and where he stands in the world. Never thought I could respect a Scalfani, but happy to be proven wrong.
But I do wonder if he's got some kind of Pinocchio curse where every time he does a good deed his nipples grow in length.
LOL I randomly tuned in at 25 minutes as a starting point to hear the episode. As soon I jumped in I hear Jim talking about how nice people were in Indiana/Arkansas while also complimenting people in California for also being nice but not to the same extent. Jack immediately dives in with "in California when people are being nice to you they are putting a knife in your back whereas ...." to which Jim instantly goes . Jack's negativity is truly off-putting to someone with a positive outlook like Jim
Put me down as another Kiwi who is impressed with Jim. He is genuinely intelligent and his ability to listen to Jack's stupid takes and actually consider them before pointing out why Jack is dead wrong is impressive. I think Jack was devastated and seething on the inside when Jim gives like a dozen reasons why Jagoff shouldn't expect the end of Target to come about soon over woke shit that Jack is still pissed about.
The worst part of the seasoning being incinerated is that blackened seasonings is actually a thing and can be really good if you do it right. Trouble is, it's Jack, so doing it right isn't in the cards.
. Jack's negativity is truly off-putting to someone with a positive outlook like Jim
