Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[Angry New Ager]

Threads catchup.

Ex ranting (featuring trans handmaiden-ing)

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"No one has ever hurt me more than a Cis Het man, Say what y'all want about Drag Queens, Trans folx, my queer community...but it's always only been love with a lil spice."

So where's Ollie, Tess?

Drag queens are almost always gay men, who don't want to fuck Tess. Trans "folx" are a bunch of mental cases, some of whom might try fucking a massive deathfat, but none of them really want her—or she, them.

"My queer community—" Ryann, you're not "queer." You're a straight woman who wants a straight man to come rescue you from being a broke-ass single mom with a dying career as a modern-day circus fat lady. It's easy to enjoy no-strings-attached "love with a lil spice" with people who you don't really prefer, who are just there to give you a bit of narcissistic supply by pretending you're desirable. You have no high expectations for those relationships, and no emotional investment, so of course you don't get hurt.

Ah, but straight men—they're the thing you want, but can't have, because the only ones who will give you any attention at all only want you as a means of satisfying a gross, demeaning fetish in private—they don't want to be seen in public with you. And you have nothing else to give them, other than satisfying their fetish. You're a shallow, vain, self-absorbed, low-class woketard with an outsized sense of your own desirability. Nobody wants that. Even Nick—who was legit the absolute best you could do—only wanted it as a means of getting to the US.

"Cis Het" men aren't the problem; there's lots of great ones out there. But they don't want what you're putting out; even the fetishists and users you initially attract keep noping out once they've had a chance to talk to you. You are the problem, Tess. But yeah, keep on blaming the men, while you cope, seethe, sheetcake.

Love quest continues

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This human (who I suspect is female) is likely unaware they were the target of Tess's "crush," and if they have any shred of sanity at all they will bail once they see that Tess posted a private text message to social media. Yes, it's an innocuous message, but boundaries are boundaries, and Tess, like all Narcs, routinely fails to respect others's.

 

[PatrickButtmanJr.]

Yeah, but I didn't say queer, I said bisexual.

Tess does that on purpose. She doesn't pin herself as gay, bi, pan, whatever, only "queer". This gives her wiggle room and deniability, in case someone in her circles decides to call out her pink-baiting (like how Mara "Matilda" Wilson called out Lindsey Ellis for claiming to be bi). Then she can claim, "I NEVER SAID I WAS NOT STRAIGHT, YOU GUYS! I JUST MEANT THAT I'VE ONLY THOUGHT ABOUT WOMEN LIKE THAT! IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU CAME TO THE WRONG CONCLUSION!"

Just like Tess was very careful to say that she just "forgets to eat" during her NOW I'M ANOREXIC World Tour. This gives her deniability since she never said that she DRINKS her excess fat and calories in the form of super sugary shit from Starbucks.

Tess is a weasel who uses weasel words very carefully to give her an out if needed.

 

[California King]

Tess is a weasel who uses weasel words very carefully to give her an out if needed.

In other words, yet another queer white woman.

 

[The Hardest R]

The closest we ever saw Tess being queer is giving a slight peck on the cheek to some ambiguously gendered blob. She is 100% straight.

Tess called Bowie Bo in the gym pic. Her trailer trash is showing again.

Remember when she said her nickname for both Rylee and Bowie was “bubba” and it was up to the kids to figure out which one she meant when she yelled it out?

 

[Trombonista]

Wasn't her ex-husband bisexual though?

Yes, Nick is bisexual.

 

[Brickley]

Yes, Nick is bisexual.

Not only that, kiwisisters… He says he’s nonbinary.

So I don’t know where she’s getting this Cis Het Man from, Queer Love is all she’s ever known.

 

[Umaibae]

Not only that, kiwisisters… He says he’s nonbinary.
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So I don’t know where she’s getting this Cis Het Man from, Queer Love is all she’s ever known.

Nice job “fathering,” Nicky Boy!

 

[The Hardest R]

“An artist, a queer non-binary father, a work in progress”

Absolutely none of the above is true.

 

[Cheesegirl78]

Nice job “fathering,” Nicky Boy!

Has he come back to see Bowie at all?

 

[Trombonista]

“An artist, a queer non-binary father, a work in progress”

Absolutely none of the above is true.

Arguably the queer part is true.

 

[cactus]

Arguably the queer part is true.

Not just queer, A queer.

 

[FuckDuckSeagull]

His TikTok. I think he has forgotten he even has a son. Poor Bowie. Tho, it IS possible that he is seeing Bowie but they're not posting about it online. Tess wouldn't get to larp a sad single mom and tell the world what a terrible abusive asshole Nick was, if he actually does care and visists, even if occasionally.

If someone wants to dig around who has TikTok plz do, there might be something interesting there.

 

[Cherry Milk]

Poor Bowie. I can't imagine how he'll feel in a few years, when he sees that his father wanted to piss about on tiktok being totally kweer, rather than be with his son

 

[PatrickButtmanJr.]

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His TikTok. I think he has forgotten he even has a son. Poor Bowie. Tho, it IS possible that he is seeing Bowie but they're not posting about it online. Tess wouldn't get to larp a sad single mom and tell the world what a terrible abusive asshole Nick was, if he actually does care and visists, even if occasionally.

If someone wants to dig around who has TikTok plz do, there might be something interesting there.

If Nick could somehow afford to come back to US and visit Bowie, you know Tess would be hitting him up to take her back or the very least be the first thing in ages beside Tess's hand or Hitachi Wand to come in contact with her gross Sarlacc Pit. The whole time she'll still be crapping on him in her posts so she can keep up her facade of STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DON'T NEED NO MAN! and HARD WORKING SINGLE MAWM! to her clapping seal gallery.

 

[NoReturn]

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His TikTok. I think he has forgotten he even has a son. Poor Bowie. Tho, it IS possible that he is seeing Bowie but they're not posting about it online. Tess wouldn't get to larp a sad single mom and tell the world what a terrible abusive asshole Nick was, if he actually does care and visists, even if occasionally.

If someone wants to dig around who has TikTok plz do, there might be something interesting there.

Poor Bowie. I can't imagine how he'll feel in a few years, when he sees that his father wanted to piss about on tiktok being totally kweer, rather than be with his son

He hasn't posted in 10 months. Here are some of the last videos:

 

[yousoundlikeanasshole]

Wearing a dress that doesn't fit with those same ugly, scuffed up platforms to meet Betsey Johnson. In the video posted on threads, Betsey gets down on the floor to do the splits and Tess loudly says "I can't get down there" when Betsey motions for Tess to join.

 

[The Hardest R]

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His TikTok. I think he has forgotten he even has a son. Poor Bowie. Tho, it IS possible that he is seeing Bowie but they're not posting about it online. Tess wouldn't get to larp a sad single mom and tell the world what a terrible abusive asshole Nick was, if he actually does care and visists, even if occasionally.

If someone wants to dig around who has TikTok plz do, there might be something interesting there.

During the Lex saga, she said Nick would FaceTime Bowie a couple times a week. But no evidence has been provided that he or his parents put Bowie on a plane to Australia. I suspect if Nick really wanted to, he’d raise enough of a shitstorm to where Tubbers would make some social media posts about it, albeit distorted in her favor. So I suspect the limited communications they may or may not still engage in is sufficient for Nick.

 

[Diet Coke 4 Life]

Wearing a dress that doesn't fit with those same ugly, scuffed up platforms to meet Betsey Johnson. In the video posted on threads, Betsey gets down on the floor to do the splits and Tess loudly says "I can't get down there" when Betsey motions for Tess to join.

It just astounds me... in a couple of those pictures, without the reference of the head or the directional guidance of the arms, it's damned near impossible to tell which way the beachball is facing. Her gunt is as pronounced as her ass. Her This-Ass is mirrored by her back tits. Truly, my eyes, they suffer as my brain melts beholding this spectacle.

Spoiler: 92 seconds of 'effort' while drunk and I can't unsee the fucking horror

Behold. Next to no effort - just cut out her body on one shot, overlaid it on another shot, and BOOM.

Her back and front are identical.

 

[ParasiteSteve]

Wearing a dress that doesn't fit with those same ugly, scuffed up platforms to meet Betsey Johnson. In the video posted on threads, Betsey gets down on the floor to do the splits and Tess loudly says "I can't get down there" when Betsey motions for Tess to join.

So many of these useless slobs have those same two "I am a basic female robot" look. Pouting like a retards, or pretending to be mid laugh. Tess is not a happy person, she is always bitching about something and waddling around the place. But her pictures try to paint her as some happy go lucky, always up for a giggle with the girls fun time girl. When really she is just thinking about eating all the time, and how to neglect her children more.

I love her.

 

[Chapalapachapa]

There is not a single feature this woman hasnt made worse by being fat or medical procedures. Her face Is really off puting