noanswerhere-deactivated2025053 asked:
Hi, congrats on you moving with your wife CD-Call! It's great that you can also avoid some of the harm the bastard of a president of the United States will continue to inflict as well.
Also, I'm sorry for ever telling you this, ever.
This may breach something that gives you the right to tell me to fuck off, and I understand. I'm practically nobody, and maybe I'm breaching some "audacity" and some boundaries in asking this, but at least getting this off my chest, although framed melodramatically, can end any bullshit hangups I shouldn't even have. You can even block me if this irks you.
Anyways, dramatics aside, I got blocked by your wife on a few platforms. Pretty simple, but I have to explain, for my own selfish sake.
I don't carry any ill will at all, to be honest. Not in terms of bitterness and immediately feeding myself with drama to validate a stupid need for revenge. That's morally fucked, and I mostly agree with your wife ideologically, and believe her in being right against a bunch of drama hungry jackasses who prey on her for content, not actual justice. It helped me view the world more effectively and consider some of my life goals. Hopefully, I can accomplish what I want, in accordance with the morals I want to express and stand by.
But that probably doesn't matter in how I conducted myself in platforms such as this, Bluesky, and so on. Every time she replied to a flawed point I made in her points, previously, when she wasn't banned on this website, (before that, she was somehow unbanned, and then banned shortly after, I remember it, and she did talk about the first ban on stream) I conceded. I apologized. And I don't know what I did wrong to get simply blocked, which is something I can't know despite wanting it, and that's it.
But being blocked on multiple platforms, such as Youtube Livestreams and Bluesky gave me a clear enough message, not needing to be kicked out of every media platform; "Fuck off, whoever you are".
- Maybe I'm being too dramatic with that, and I do respect your wife filtering comments to not be littered with spam, spite, and other reasons, but being on the receiving end of it, while recognizing, maybe with bias, that I wasn't spiteful, vile, or anything else, feels sad. Maybe if I was a daily harasser, I would be more angry and create another account to continue, but I promise I won't, it'll stop with 'TealTreesThriving'. I have to believe that I'm missing something, something that led to this conclusion, however small, even if it means that your wife considered me an annoying piece of shit.
And I can't pretend that I feel somewhat sad about that. I didn't try to be antagonistic, but maybe I was, I did something wrong or was ideologically unappealing, I think I know, but I don't know. But it's done. And in writing this crap, I'm engaging in flawed parasocial crap that I probably should never due with an online person, and that probably gives them more right to tell me to fuck off for caring in that twisted way. And hopefully I'll move on, but I have to admit that I still liked what your wife presented, either way.
Even if a lot of people like to simply block people for simple reasons, which I'm guessing I am- probably annoying, a piece of shit, or so on, and if I could never or am not entitled to knowing that from someone who wants to get on with their day and not deal with assholes, which I probably am, I'm still going to be sorry.
I'm sorry if I was a horrible person, if I did anything that was wrong or shitty. And it's stupidly melodramatic in terms of the context of being consistently blocked, but I can't help but care, at least, even in this small instance. I've been fed fluctuating bullshit to invalidate how I feel and being verbally abused without any closure to the screaming, the arguments, the filth, and the hurt. And I guess that's where my stupid clinging to this small instance comes from, judging from that last sentence.
Your wife, again, if a politically compelling person, and how she addresses community and its problems, as well as being more critical about people and their engagement with society, and how they prop up problematic regimes, fascists, and generally self-harmful politics onto themselves. I really wanted to know more, and it kinda motivated me to branch out in using some social media. And with that in mind and in terms of current status, having that as a reason to engage with social media, even if I had found another reason to other than finding more political opinions and news, was probably shit. She inspired me to write more creatively and more thoughtfully, and made me ever so hopeful, although small, in being able to be worth writing something I could look back on and value, and not destroy. Because I have destroyed hundreds of virtual pages of shitty work to improve on what I already have, and maybe with this kind of influence and inspiration, I can.
I am also sorry for expressing myself on this format of an "ask", and suggest that you are valid in not interacting with this as a violation of something I am ignorant of or not privy to.
This is just a dumb attempt at closure, and I just want to be genuine, and maybe that makes me look more pathetic and parasocial. I deserve to be insulted because of that, and because I've never tried this before. There's a lot I haven't experienced in social media that seems like a Tuesday for others. And maybe for being blocked, I was some other Tuesday who shouldn't try to understand beyond that, and respect their decision as if, although blank and sudden. But I should've. I am just flying closer to the sun the more I try to reason this, and the harder I'll fall.
Too Long, Didn't Read Summary:
- Congratulations on your move to Canada, and away from the American pile of shit and problems.
- Your wife blocked me, and I don't know why. I am considering that I should not, but I have interpretations as to why I have been blocked. Maybe it was some stupid comment about the unsustainability of golf courses. Or being perceived as an ass to your wife as a whole to not bother with ever.
- I feel sort of sad, and I don't think I should invest this time into telling you this, but I am, and maybe that is wrong.
- This is an attempt at trying to understand that I know will fail, and you will probably block me.
- I like your wife's content and worldview, and being blocked significantly sends a appropriate message that I suck even if I liked the former.
- I am sorry for whatever I've done, and writing this to you. I am aware that I may be reading into this too much, and that gives you the right to never answer this and toss it away, blocking me as well.
This was TealTreesThriving, and I have to admit, I never thought I would mess up this way, and somehow. Maybe that's too prideful of me, or too reassuring of myself that I checked my bases and biases. But clearly it was not enough. And I am sorry for being that way, articulating in some way, and being around your wife's social media in some way or form. I am not planning on counting on Tumblr or BluSky and will focus on my own life and writing skills. Again, this is just some pathetic attempt to find a reason before I leave, something I am sure I will never be entitled to, as are others who are blocked.
Do not forgive me for how stupidly long this is. You are not entitled to respect this whatsoever, and especially with someone you wife thinks is someone to avoid seeing on social media, like an asshole, or a conservative, or others. Please throw this in the trash and be happy with your life and your wife. I will find no disrespect, but confirmation of just quitting this part of life. Nothing life-threatening, just emotionally hurt in an ungrateful or moronic way,
Bye.
https://noanswerhere-deactivated2025053.tumblr.com/
- Don't message me when my wife blocks you. She doesn't run who she blocks on social media by me, so I have no idea why you're even here.
- For fuck's sake, why the hell are you prostrating yourself like this over being blocked on Bluesky? It's not the end of the world, it's not something you need to feel 'hurt' over. CD is extremely liberal with the block button, and blocks people for as little as being off topic in her replies. It's her right to do that and curate her social media feed. You're not entitled to access to her just because she's a Youtuber.
