Grace Lavery / Joseph Lavery & Daniel M. Lavery / Mallory Ortberg - "Straight with extra steps" couple trooning out to avoid "dwindling into mere heterosexuality"

[Bookwork]

"What's it called when one fantasizes about other people's fantasies? I feel like there's a word for that."

Projection.

Unless you get your students to write about their fantasies and use their material in a booklet, errrm monograph, pretending you created their ideas. Then it is called plagiarlsm.

 

[monstrous bubo]

”911, What’s your emergency?”

”There’s a pile-up blocking thought - Charlotte Brontë, nuns and butch flight all crashed into each other. There’s a flat-chested woman who I think was the driver and seems to be in shock. She’s flapping her hands and calling for an editor.”

Tard Baby goes back to Jane Eyre yet again on the Chatner and sticks it to the terfs or something.


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[Anasa Tristis]

”911, What’s your emergency?”

”There’s a pile-up blocking thought - Charlotte Brontë, nuns and butch flight all crashed into each other. There’s a flat-chested woman who I think was the driver and seems to be in shock. She’s flapping her hands and calling for an editor.”

Tard Baby goes back to Jane Eyre yet again on the Chatner and sticks it to the terfs or something.

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I’ve heard of some people never really growing up past their high school selves but Mal’s an extreme case of never growing up past an Intro to English Lit class.

 

[OttoWest]

I don’t recall any nuns in Jane Eyre. The school she attended is a charity school, the teachers regular women- some are even married. Yes Jane is plain, her mien reserved when she first enters Thornfield but that mask is dropped fairly quickly. Strange that Mal seems to want to pick over Bronte’s bones in her essay but misses the one moment when Rochester actually compares Jane to a nun:

“You have the air of a little nonnette; quaint, quiet, grave and simple…”

And he does this just after she says she doesn’t find him attractive. He finds it both provoking and intriguing, the joke is that she is hardly meek or a supplicant to him.

 

[Dr. Butt]

I don’t recall any nuns in Jane Eyre. The school she attended is a charity school, the teachers regular women- some are even married. Yes Jane is plain, her mien reserved when she first enters Thornfield but that mask is dropped fairly quickly. Strange that Mal seems to want to pick over Bronte’s bones in her essay but misses the one moment when Rochester actually compares Jane to a nun:

“You have the air of a little nonnette; quaint, quiet, grave and simple…”

And he does this just after she says she doesn’t find him attractive. He finds it both provoking and intriguing, the joke is that she is hardly meek or a supplicant to him.

Mal's just another seething fake ex-christian chubby hipster girl who missed the entire point of Jane's character and married her shitty boyfriend in the hope that her "you always were" fantasy will come true through the magic of fate, rather than her own convictions and resilience.

 

[IglyUglyOh]

I don’t recall any nuns in Jane Eyre. The school she attended is a charity school, the teachers regular women- some are even married. Yes Jane is plain, her mien reserved when she first enters Thornfield but that mask is dropped fairly quickly. Strange that Mal seems to want to pick over Bronte’s bones in her essay but misses the one moment when Rochester actually compares Jane to a nun:

“You have the air of a little nonnette; quaint, quiet, grave and simple…”

And he does this just after she says she doesn’t find him attractive. He finds it both provoking and intriguing, the joke is that she is hardly meek or a supplicant to him.

There are orders of sisters in Anglicanism - the sisters in Call the Midwife are Protestant not Catholic IIRC. But it’s possible a Protestant charity school could’ve had religious ‘sisters’ present.


I don’t think most English writers were obsessing about nuns in the Brontes’ day Mal is just being an edgelord.

Mal will never clock that as an American in a much more Catholic country culturally in some ways (home of comedy figures like Fr Guido Sarducci & the ladies of Sister Act), she’s thought-projecting Catholic nuns into a space where ye olde WASPs never would have done that.

It’s all in her head

 

[Constellationzero]

Your reminder, once again, that Mallory Ortberg

CANNOT

FUCKING

WRITE

She runs her pube stached, mutated by wrong sex hormones mouth, but knows not one wit what the entire fuck she's talking about.

 

[Bookwork]

Joe's forthcooming memoir with recipes?

A remix of "I Love You, Alice B. Toklas" reminded me this morning that the famed mustachioed lesbian's cookbook is described as also being a memoir with recipes. It's a 4.05 on the Good Reads scale. What Hemingway-Picasso equivalents can lezbo Joe build into his booklet? Can't wait to find out.

 

[Autistic Nonetheless]

Alright you bunch of slack jawed faggots. Someone hand Joe a a gun because we are having a revolution. Vive la Trans!!! [*]

Spoiler: ▄︻テ══━一💥 ... 🧊・:*:｡ ❆

Our government is committing war crimes against its enemies within. This is a terrifying moment, and those in Los Angeles defending themselves and each other against the state (both the Trumpists and against the Newsome-Bass collaborators) are entirely right to do so.

I’ve been thinking more about Hardt and Negri recently—EMPIRE and MULTITUDE being two books I felt too cool (“old school Marxist” lol) to handle at the time. I think they’ve aged well. Emerging from those books, three demands:

1. Absolute freedom of movement, and absolute right to remain, as inalienable demands of every human being on earth.

2. A guaranteed basic income for every human being in the world, paid for by direct, redistributive taxation on as many of the rich as necessary to afford a decent living for everyone.

3. Complete autonomy over our bodies: to transition, abort, arouse, and activate ourselves without state interference.

What other choice do we have? Point guns at people until they don’t want to eat any more? Freedom for Los Angeles, freedom for undocumented migrants, and death to the ancien regime!

I think Joe is angry because, unlike last time with the Floyd riots, most Newsom-esque democrats have distanced themselves from the action. Calculating (correctly) that all the good will built up from Trumps heavy handed deportations will vanish once footage of burning cars with rioters waving Mexican flags hits the social media feeds . But hey, I too believe in fighting for the right of black people to loot Nike stores.

I will say i've known a lot of radicals throughout my time, and it's mostly those capable of packing and unpacking their opinions as practical that seem to live happier lives. While it's those who get triggered every time the fuhrer speaks that suffer, and subsequently get trapped in the more radical then thou onupmanship game. For fuck sake! this dude's socialist wishlist has 3 demands and two of them are geared towards allowing him to be gay.

Like good luck with your 'everyone migrates to the US and gets infinite free money plus universal healthcare with a topping of HRT' thing, but this is a platform that even NLR type socialists would tell you is fucking retarded.

 

[Bookwork]

As someone living on foreign soil, lezbo Joe is particularly sensitive to these matters. Nevertheless the hero of the Battle of Bindel posts courageously on Instagram!

 

[A Sentient Cloud]

“to transition, abort, arouse, and activate ourselves”

Anyone else trying to parse what Coomer Cicero means by “abort…ourselves”? Going all in on Canadian healthcare, perhaps?

 

[Cnaiur urs Skiotha]

Lol let me get this straight with Joe’s three demands. #1 is absolute freedom to migrate to anywhere and stay there, and #2 is heavy redistributive taxation on the rich to end poverty. So uh, what’s to prevent the rich from moving to the Caribbean tax haven of their choice? Unless he intends for there to be some kind of world government that can tax you anywhere? Certainly UBI for everyone in the world implies that. And this world government is also going to implement the absolute right to “transition, abort, arouse, and activate ourselves”, something 95% of the world population would probably find abhorrent?

Good luck with that, Joe. You know what? Think globally act locally motherfucker, why don’t you allow a migrant family or a bunch of homeless junkies share the Oakland shack with you? Try it out and lmk what you think of the absolute right to live anywhere after a week

 

[Autistic Nonetheless]

Oscar Wilde did say that 'the trouble with socialism is that it takes up too many evenings' but im not sure Joe's decree that everyone should just be gay and and shower him with free money is alternative to that.

to transition, abort, arouse, and activate ourselves

You have to do it in that order. Specifically. Otherwise it's not real socialism.

Good luck with that, Joe. You know what? Think globally act locally motherfucker, why don’t you allow a migrant family or a bunch of homeless junkies share the Oakland shack with you? Try it out and lmk what you think of the absolute right to live anywhere after a week

NO, no, no no. The government should solve all our problems except that it should not be a government and it should have zero rights to interfere in anything because that would be fascist.

I am a university professor!

 

[Anasa Tristis]

I am a university professor!

Who, during Marxist revolutions are usually sent to work farms or factories iirc.... kek. I guess Joe is certain that cheerleading PMCs like himself would keep their current positions after it succeeds?

Doesn't Joe make $90-100K a year? That's "rich" by most international standards. Even if he dodges being a revenue source for UBI, he may want to do the math on receiving it for himself and his loved ones instead of those tainted paychecks they've been getting. I don't think UBI could remotely match what the BPT are bringing home now. It's also a pretty sure bet that UBI will not be enough to cover designer clothes or exotic ingredients for gourmet cooking either. The "Basic" in UBI, donchaknow. That won't be up for postmodern deconstruction.

 

[Bookwork]

Lily's Lansing house is up for sale - $129,900. It was listed on May 7. Zillow

She remains absent from the MSU directory.

She's thrown it all away for lezbo Joe.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

Lily's Lansing house is up for sale - $129,900. It was listed on May 7. Zillow

She remains absent from the MSU directory.

She's thrown it all away for lezbo Joe.

Holy shit. I wonder how often they consider the fact Mallory SOLD her house in OAKLAND, their current location, to fund Joe’s loony Brooklyn luxury adventure. Now Lilly gets to sell her only asset to help raise Joe’s standard of living.

The only the Joe brings to relationships is debt and drama. The women get to sell their homes to float him.

Is selling all assets and removing any chance of stability the price of being with dreamboat Joey? She’s ejecting the life raft and placing all her bets on baby daddy/mommy.

You know poor teenage girls used to get married and knocked-up to escape parental homes. Lilly got knocked up to escape being a lesbian art history professor in Lansing. Lmao. I’m sure Joe will finally become a rock of stability and not an albatross around her neck.

 

[Potatis Salad]

Lily's Lansing house is up for sale - $129,900. It was listed on May 7. Zillow

She remains absent from the MSU directory.

She's thrown it all away for lezbo Joe.

Yesss, nice work!

I haven't seen listing photos this shitty since Jeremy tried to sell his house with FindingEvie beached in it.
They couldn't even move that broom out of the corner for one second to take the photo?

Or put the dishes from the dish rack away?

(Side note, $5000 of IKEA cabinetry would completely transform that kitchen, and it's a very attainable DIY project. What's that you say? Joe already spent that $5000 on an Isabel Marant fur coat? Oh. OK. )

Plastic lunchbox sitting on the stove, who took these?

That pink mask thing on the piano looks familiar, I think it's an objet d'Joe but can't quite place it.

 

[A Sentient Cloud]

At that price it'll most likely get bought up and subletted. No photos of the bathroom means they're probably gnarly. It's in an okay neighborhood (relatively speaking for Lansing) and convenient to the highway and bus stops. Charge some MSU students $600 per bedroom and you're turning a nice little profit.

 

[Diana Moon Glampers]

Something is WRONG with the house.



Twice it's gone into "contingent" status just long enough for someone to have an inspection done...and then it gets re-listed again, for the same price.

Something's genuinely wrong with the house. Lily bought 11 years ago and it's appreciated only roughly $50k in that time. I wonder if they need that exact amount of money, because it's very unusual to relist at the same price after multiple contingent offers fall through due to failed inspections. People don't usually pull out for small stuff, either, at this price point. You expect a house that costs this amount to have some significant fixing-up to do. Whatever the problem may be, it's significant. Last time I saw a house with a pattern like this, the electrical system was so bad the electricians asked to do an estimate on the cost of the repair job all said they'd decline to do it. It's gotta be something at that level.

 

[Dr. Butt]

Last time I saw a house with a pattern like this, the electrical system was so bad the electricians asked to do an estimate on the cost of the repair job all said they'd decline to do it. It's gotta be something at that level.

I'll throw my hat in the ring for "roof". No clear pictures of the spine is a bad sign, especially with those Great Lakes winters.