Inactive Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka - Deadbeat (emphasis on "Dead") founder of Something Awful, forced out of his own community, on his second divorce, stuck his dick in crazy, "Birth Giver"

[NOT Sword Fighter Super]

PS: please simply remember me by doing absolutely everything possible to ruin the careers of Dana Outlaw and Judge
Stupid Fucking Lazy Ass Garrett. Also let Scott know the absolute only service he provide

Holy fuck this is based as hell.

 

[whatever I feel like]

Suicide Note

He almost got through it without going Trump, oh well. Maybe after the first two crazy exes he'd learn to stop banging internet strangers or at least to start using a condom.

 

[Law]

Imagine being his daughter and knowing that your dad would rather die than pay child support.

He ended his fucking suicide note with a vindictive quip about needing to ruin someone's career for crossing him. He was a vengeful little spite-goblin right up to the end.

 

[TonySopranoFan57]

Rifles are a little unweilding. Hand guns are much easier to point and click

In what world rifles are point and click handguns have much more going on for correct shooting and recoil mitigation.

 

[Nameless One]

I hear my dad coughing more often and shorter of breath lately and often I need to excuse myself to not cry in front of him because I know he's getting older. Even if I hated life and wanted to die I could never do that to him. If Lowtax actually gave a shit about his father he'd be around for him.
Kiwis, hug your dad if you still have the option. he'll appreciate it even if he doesn't say it.

Spoiler: Kiwi Membership Required

My dad that I knew for 16+ years sort of Lowtax'd himself last year and maybe he appreciated the few hugs I shared with him, but my schizo biological father does appreciate it, we plan to do something together for father's day.

 

[KriegsZensur]

Richard Jr. had his dog in his backyard. Animal control responded and took the dog to the animal shelter.

I hope the doggo

 

[whatever I feel like]

I just realized:
Lowtax is Richard Kyanka Jr.
His dad is Richard is Richard Kyanka Sr.

Lowtax's final words were a "Dear Richard" email.

I love this. I really do. I know my post has no real value but you win, sir. The Dear Richard e-mail nearly 20 years in the making.

 

[Gorilla Milk]

I thought Haberman owned somthing awful? Or am I wrong? Was there multiple SA forms?

Haberman, as in the guy MisterMetokur /Jim81Jim / Internet Aristocrat/ Whatever constantly made jokes about founded the website Metokur. You've got them confused.

Also Lowtax is still dead lmao rest in piss faggot.

 

[Stan]

Did you watch his last streams. My memory might be distorted but I remember it basically being him talking incomprehensibly while shoving Goldbelly food down his gullet.

IIRC he could no longer afford Goldbelly and was back to eating normal junk food instead of overpriced bespoke junk food.

It’s a testament to his immaturity that he doesn’t even mention his children in this note; children who might, one day, hope to see that the father who couldn’t/wouldn’t remain on earth for them, might’ve had a loving word or two to leave behind for them to find as adults.

TBH even if there's a separate note addressed to his kids, is there anything Rich could have written in it that would have been loving, comforting, or caring, or provide his children with any solace, considering he went through with the suicide anyway? If he loved them he wouldn't have killed himself, simple as. He would have come up with a plan to pay back the money, and tried to get visitation or custody rights restored. (Or he would have never made many of the decisions that led him up to this inflection point, because he'd have the conscience to realize it would be bad for his daughters to do such things...)

 

[Dr J]

I still can't believe Zoe Quinn tried to write with him almost right before his suicide.

I could believe that, they're both notorious pieces of shit. One can only hope that Chelsea van Valkenberg opts to take the Lowtax path sometime in the near future

 

[Sicko Hunter]

Moot - Sold 4chan to a slimy Jap who let it turn to shit. Disappeared from internet - Neutral Ending

Moot pawned off an unprofitable website that caused him nothing but FBI visits and headaches on an idiot from Japan and then got a job at Google and got to go live a normal life again. Regardless of what you think of him that's a happy ending in his eyes for sure.

 

[whatever I feel like]

I could believe that, they're both notorious pieces of shit. One can only hope that Chelsea van Valkenberg opts to take the Lowtax path sometime in the near future

He had a thing for crazy, vindictive druggies too, it would have been a fun six months before getting her pregnant and her running away to johnny law like all the others.

 

[Cryogonal2]

Nigga lacked the courage to at least take down of the people he hated with him. A shameful nigga.

It's funnier that he didn't, if only because it makes him that much more pathetic. He can't do it himself, so he'll ask mommy and daddy to do it for him after he's taken to the morgue.

 

[Law]

I could believe that, they're both notorious pieces of shit. One can only hope that Chelsea van Valkenberg opts to take the Lowtax path sometime in the near future

Zoe Quinn outlives another one

 

[popsoda]

wow this lowtax guy seems like a real jerk

 

[Autismobili Lamborghini]

wow this lowtax guy seems like a real jerk

You wouldn't believe the things this faggot would do for mangosteen

 

[CharlesBarkley]

wow this lowtax guy seems like a real jerk

Yeah, jerking to dem' tranny feet pictures. He He Heh~

You wouldn't believe the things this faggot would do for mangosteen

THEN DONT FUCKING BUY IT!!!!

Also when is Shmorky going to end himself as well and write a letter about how the world needs to find Amanda and make her apologize to his tombstone about the nonstop poop/pedo play?

 

[Goodbye Horses]

.....Well fuck me that was morbid......Everyone beat your girlfriend or wife in solitary of Lowtax tonight.

Actually, I think I'll just continue being a good husband and father, just to fucking spite him.

 

[John Ligma]

Even in death Richard couldn't bare to address his daughters. Despite being the deadbeat, pill-addled abusive piece of shit that he was, he was better off alive for his children than dead. Unbelievably tragic to kill himself given how easily he could turn himself around with a little hard work and determination, but the spite took over. He wasn't even in that bad of a situation, just broke, addicted to drugs and had some ex-wives that hated him - nothing he couldn't pull out of if he really found himself and revisited his connection to the important things in life. I hope Lauren, Jaylen and whatever the third daughter's name was are growing up okay.

 

[frozen_runner]

Lowtax - Let SomethingAwful live up to its name entirely by neglecting it and ruthless nickle and diming. Now only used by old autists and marxists. - Bad Ending

Moot - Sold 4chan to a slimy Jap who let it turn to shit. Disappeared from internet - Neutral Ending

Max Goldberg - Went to the trouble of modernizing his antiquated silly site so people can look back and remember pages of silly gifs paired with music. - Good Ending

Tom Fulp - Newgrounds is still alive and kicking and he still makes video games - Best Ending

Eric Bauman - Your site still exists like 2 decades after it was relevant, and nobody knows why. - Weird Ending