My fiance left our dog in a hot car and he died. I’m due in less than 2 months.
I posted in the pet loss sub about this, but I’m hoping to get some perspective more from a parenting angle.
My partner was working from home and left to get lunch. He put our dog in the car as our dog enjoyed car rides. Our dog was very quiet/peaceful and had a tendency to ride quietly , as well as sleep quietly in other rooms when we were home. He apparently was short on time and rushed back inside to clock in. I got home from work and my dog didn’t greet me and that’s when my partner discovered he had not brought the dog in with him. We rushed him to the vet but he was DOA.
I’m in the third trimester and absolutely devastated. On top of being heartbroken about my dog, I’m having a hard time trusting my partner. We were supposed to alternate leave so that one of us worked while the other stayed home with the baby but now I’m afraid to do that. however, I don’t think we can manage on one income, nor can we afford a nanny. His parents are too old to really help us. My parents live across the country and my mom is a little unstable (ie doesn’t trust medical guidelines for kids/babies) though she would never just leave a dog or kid in the car. I’m sure my parents would help me if I moved back but I know my mom and I would butt heads and it would be a high stress environment, plus I don’t think my work prospects are as good where my parents live.
We had our baby shower last week and were so full of love. I do know my partner feels strained to be doing better at work in an attempt to get a promotion and has made a few negligent mistakes around the house recently though nothing of this caliber. Still, he has never given me a reason to be significantly angry with him, not trust him or feel like I can’t rely on him to take care of me/the dog/our baby until this point.
I’m not confident I can do it on my own, I’m learning to drive as an adult, don’t own a car, and don’t make a lot of money. I could finish school and stay at home with the baby but doing so would involve incurring a lot of debt.
I feel like I can’t even just grieve for my dog, I’m worried about what the stress will do to pregnancy and postpartum life for me. I’m scared I can’t trust him to watch the baby by himself. I’m scared we’ll get in legal trouble for animal negligence (I was the owner of the dog and filled out the paperwork at the vet, but it was my fiance’s negligence entirely that killed him). I’m still in shock over losing my dog and know it’s only going to keep sinking in over the days and weeks. I planned to work right up close to my due date and now I’m not sure how to make it through.
Is this an absolute dealbreaker for him as a dad? I do not want to take away his child from him but I’m so worried he’ll make a similar fatal error with our baby.