2025 Israel vs Iran War

[Meat Target]

The rumors of them fucking are almost certainly true.

I don't know dawg, I had to google her and I'ma go and say that has to be a paperbag or insanely drunk situation.

They’re obviously fucking but I can’t believe she’s only 32. I thought she was at least 50.

Melania's about twice her age, yet still looks lightyears better.

Though that's not a high bar. Laura Loomer looks like a living A. Wyatt Mann caricature.

 

[>IMPLYING]

Jews:
>cut off penis skin
>can't eat pork
>can drink alcohol
>live in desert
>worship Abrahamic god
>dislikes Jesus
>pray to a wall
>wears funny headgear

Muslims:
>cut off penis skin
>can't eat pork
>can't drink alcohol
>live in desert
>worship Abrahamic god
>likes Jesus but don't want you to call him god
>pray to a floor
>wears funny headgear

The differences are so superficial, it's like if Xbox and Playstation and PC gamers were constantly going to war and killing each other.

Islam, in a meta sense, is closer to Judaism than Christianity because Mecca and Medina had Jews in them capable of speaking Arabic whereas the closest Christians would've been the Copts in Egypt or the Nestorian/Monophysites in Syria, so it would've been easier for Muhammed to copy/learn from them than the Christians. It's also why the Quran features more direct and obvious references to the old Testament whereas stuff concerning Jesus was largely broad strokes stuff (virgin birth and crucifixion and basically anything you'd pick up from osmosis or elementary school) and straight up gnostic texts and apocrypha (Gospel of Thomas features quite heavily, like Jesus' infancy and straight up sorcery). That being said, the Quran was written posthumously, and a collation of all of Muhammed's words were largely from what little was actually written down because he only started telling his followers to write down what he said long after he started his gig (I suspect it got harder for him to keep track of everything he was saying).
I imagine not everything in the Quran is 1:1, not that I particularly care about it being the authentic and real deal, just acknowledging that it's compilers might've just chucked in whatever shit they had, just as gnostic shit.

Spoiler: Every similarity between Islam and Judaism that I could be bothered to collect. No scripture stuff.

Legal Frameworks & Jurisprudence

Divinely‑ordained law: Sharia (Quran + Sunna) <-> Halakha (Torah + Oral Torah)

Scholars & codification: Ulema <-> Rabbis; Madhhabs <-> Mishnah Torah / Shulchan Aruch

Analogous texts: Hadith collections <-> Talmud (Mishnah + Gemara)

Ritual Practices

Circumcision: Sunnah of Abraham ("Sunnah" is acknowledgement it's old and outdated but because Abraham did it, it's too important to not do) <-> Brit Milah (Circumcision, also occasional foreskin biting and blood sucking)

Dietary laws: Halal <-> Kosher; ritual slaughter invoking God’s name (Only difference between the two is Halal can be done by anyone but the animal must be facing Mecca when it dies, and Kosher requires a specific dude to do it)

Purification: Wudu & Ghusl <-> Netilat yadayim & Mikveh (cleaning self at particular times of day)

Weekly observance: Jumuah <-> Sabbath; fasting Ramadan <-> Yom Kippur; zakat <-> tzedakah

Monotheistic Theology

Oneness of God: Tawhid <-> Shema (The trinity being a more complex concept also makes it easier to just go more Jew)

Purity Laws & Daily Observance

Major impurity: Ghusl <-> tevilah (mikveh) after birth, menstruation, corpse contact, pork (especially for Muslims)

Minor impurity: Wudu <-> ritual hand‑washing before prayer/food

Prayer Practices & Obligations

Daily prayers: 5 Salah times <-> 3 (plus Musaf I.E. prayers done on specific holidays so +1 extra a day on those days)

Direction: Towards Kaaba (black rock thing) <-> Towards Jerusalem (Yes, Jews have a "face towards" thing as well)

Communal worship: Jumuah (minimum 2 attendee requirement) <-> Minyan requirement (ten Jewish adults need to be present for certain prayers)

Core duties: Five Pillars <-> 613 Mitzvot (Jews have 613 commandments; 248 positive commandments (things to do) and 365 negative commandments (things not to do))

Eschatological Beliefs

Resurrection & Judgment Day: Qiyamah <-> Techiyat Ha‑Metim (resurrection of the dead — this was supposed to happen when their messiah arrived. Since it didn't with Jesus, false messiah.)

Messianic figures: Mahdi & Return of Jesus <-> Messiah Ben David

Periodic renewal: Ramadan for forgiveness <-> High Holy Days for judgment & atonement

 

[>IMPLYING]

Azerbajin is far more secular and has good relations with israel

What about Jordan?

 

[A Cardboard Box]

It comes from a factual reading of history. The only ignorant retard here is you.

If you had the slightest bit of knowledge, you would know that terrorism is inseparable from the history of Israels founding. It's not too late, just a few Google searches away.

Again, it is a useless thing to say "lmao Israel was created by terrorism lmao." As I said, yes, Irgun and Lehi were terror groups, but you are implying that Israel, or the JNC was the only entity engaging in guerilla warfare or terror campaigns. By your definition, the Palestine is equally "founded by and run by terrorists," since the vast majority of their leadership even today can be traced back to the AHC, Black Hand, ALA, Holy War Army, and half a dozen other Palestinian terror groups responsible for ethnic cleansing campaigns in the two decades of ethnic conflict in Mandatory Palestine before the Independence of Israel.

 

[unleashthefreak]

Presented without comment.

 

[Catch The Rainbow]

What about Jordan?
View attachment 7520386

Jordan is mostly Palestinian. They were probably the most reasonable enemy but still an enemy. Relations between Israel and Jordan are cold while Baku has the world's last remaining shetl and the population doesn't mind Jews

 

[autistic dog]

iran doesnt have missiles that can reach any US territory. their longest range missile can reach the balkans

Then why the fuck shouldn't we bomb them while they are without air defenses? What is the strategic advantage of not doing so?

 

[Dana scully]

Pizza and gay bar watch update: massive activity at Papa John's, while Freddie's seems empty at this time. Meanwhile many high ranking officials were seen leaving WH for the Pentagon including VP.
View attachment 7518683

Why these fat fucks only eat pizza? Maybe if they started to eat healthy and organic food they would think more clearly and we will have less wars.

 

[Netizennameless]

I'm not watching that

What happened to the pictures of shot down Israeli F-35s and a female pilot as well as the “a surprise that the world will remember for centuries” that was promised earlier tonight by Iranian state-run media?

I had a thought that the surprise was related to Kristi Noem being rushed to the hospital.

Just wait until you find out Jews fought alongside Muslims during the crusades like the Battle of Jerusalem in the 1st Crusade.

Fuck this third world dune coon logic. We are not adopting this religious blood feud. Christ judged those jews centuries ago, the hatred can stay there in the past.

 

[A Cardboard Box]

Jordan is mostly Palestinian

What? No it isn't.

Just wait until you find out Jews fought alongside Muslims during the crusades like the Battle of Jerusalem in the 1st Crusade.

I do not see the relevance in pegging my political beliefs according to who fought the Catholics a thousand years ago.

 

[Shrek]

Then why the fuck shouldn't we bomb them while they are without air defenses? What is the strategic advantage of not doing so?

A single American airman's life isn't worth helping Israel

 

[MrJokerRager]

 

[Yours Truly 2095]

My best retarded bet is Iran launches dirty ballistic missiles with nuclear contaminates on board. Knowing they'll be intercepted and spread the materials upon destruction. A fear tactic weapon that in reality does little damage besides some mild to low level radioactive contamination. This is unlikely but I believe the most likely "nuclear" scenario from them given their threats lately.

My next is if this happens Israel dropping a variable yield B61 nuclear hardened penetration variant equivalent from an F-35 on Fordow



However since I've been playing Ace combat and this is all my biggest retard takes I believe Iran will also nuke itself like Belka

 

[Meat Target]

How many churches are in Saudi Arabia? Now how many are in Iran. Is Iran more or less secular than Saudi Arabia?

The difference between the two is Bloods vs. Crips as far as I'm concerned.

Was the founding United States which literally had state religions more or less secular than Britain? Was it more or less secular than the Spanish Empire? See how stupid this is? It's almost as if most things are not completely black and white and are on a spectrum and we can make comparisons.

None of those countries with historical official religions, for all their faults, had anything on the cruelty of present-day regimes based on radical Islam.

Also, for someone who claims to totally not be a dreaded "White Nationalist", you sure know a lot about 2016 Alt-Right figures that are irrelevant today.

Again, don't be coy. All of those figures I mentioned you and your ilk once idolized as e-daddies. Don't deny it; you probably once looked up to Ralph or Milo or Sargon.

There's plenty of negative things you can say about Jews without argument from me. I enjoy cracking jokes at their expense. But you and your ilk portray Jews as Schrodinger's Untermensch: simultaneously inferior, yet always outfoxing everybody, everywhere, all the time.

If the Huwite Race is superior, then why do the Jews always beat them? And don't say "because Joos cheat". There is no such thing as "cheating" in nature. Only winning by any means necessary, or extinction.

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

Iran's been unable to do anything more impressive that throw poorly guided missiles in miniscule amounts.

To be fair to Iran, for ballistic missiles with that kind of range they aren't that inaccurate, more or less par for the course.
It's less that angry sand people can't build missiles, its more that the only type of missiles they can seem to hit Israel with are the kind where landing within 100m of your target is considered "good enough".

If Iran fires missiles at the US what's the over under on an intercept? On one hand its far away so there is more time to stop them and the US is huge with plenty of empty space so it would be hilarious if they hit nothing or like a cow. On the other hand we don't have an iron dome.

On paper, possible but highly unlikely.

If Iran were gonna reach the mainland US the only things they'd have that could do it would be cruise missiles launched from either its Kilo-class submarines (of which they have 3) or its like 2 frigates.
Now the launching ship would probably end up turbo-fucked by US aviation in under 24hrs tops, but because they'd be launching cruise missiles which fly low to the water/earth only airborne radar would pick them up.

This is of course assuming the US Navy & US Air Force aren't tracking all 5 (ish) of Iran's potential missile carrier vessels already and just waiting for an FA/FO.

Then why the fuck shouldn't we bomb them while they are without air defenses? What is the strategic advantage of not doing so?

So before you call me a Muzzie-lover and/or hippy liberal peacenik fag keep in mind I probably lean more towards the "fuck Iran" side than not.

Basically
1) Iran can still hit US bases in the region. Can they kick the US out of the Middle East? LOL NOPE, but they can still directly cost American lives and get millions to billions worth of equipment blown up.
2) Iran can still hit infrastructure that affects America, i.e. oil pipelines in Saudi Arabia
3) Iran can hypothetically "shut down" the Persian Gulf and the Bab-Al Mendel Strait, disrupting global trade
4) Iran can get other Shiites to go chimpout and shoot rockets at US bases, and hypothetically may have sleeper cells in places like Dearborn or New York where they can cause terror attacks domestically

This is assuming the US goes the more logical and moderate route of "bomb them and be done with it".
Actually launching a full-scale invasion (while I think people who honestly believe a draft is on the table are delusional) is fucking retarded though and accomplishes very little and has a much higher risk of casualties and long-term commitments that would impair our readiness against Russia or China in another theater.

 

[Catch The Rainbow]

What? No it isn't

https://www.hrw.org/report/2010/02/01/stateless-again/palestinian-origin-jordanians-deprived-their-nationality

More than half of the 6.3 million population of Jordan is of Palestinian origin-that is, from areas west of the River Jordan, including the West Bank, today's Israel, and Gaza.

It's 50-70 percent depending on how you count it. It's a ticking time bomb for the King

 

[Supplemental Authority]

Sad to see what's happened to Tucker. Creative types need editors. They stop you from indulging your own worst excesses, like trying to play "gotcha" with a sitting U.S. Senator over Iran's population. (That said, I'm surprised Sen. Cruz's staff did not prep him for that question. Tucker has done this one before.)

Also worth pointing out: The best writing from Tucker Carlson Tonight (on Fox) was written by Gregg Re, his lead writer and investigative producer. When it came to picking stories, Gregg did a good job of sorting the wheat from the chaff. The Fox Network also helped ensure the show had sensible guests.

Now, without the support of writers and producers and editors, Tucker ends up doing stories about how UFOs are actually angles and devils, the CIA killed Kennedy, the U.S. government lied (or hasn't told the truth) about 9/11, that vaccines are harmful, etc. And he has lost all his political relevance.

Tucker is genuinely talented, and has good taste in dress shoes. I hope he is cured of whatever ails him. It would be good to see a Tucker redemption arc.

 

[>IMPLYING]

Jordan is mostly Palestinian. They were probably the most reasonable enemy but still an enemy. Relations between Israel and Jordan are cold while Baku has the world's last remaining shetl and the population doesn't mind Jews

Dang. Weird too since they've had a ton of trouble with them.
1. King Abdullah I killed by Palestinian militant for wanting to sign peace treaty with Israel
2. Fedayeen autism leading to Black September (though they just fled to Lebanon and basically became Hezbollah)
3. Joined Yon Kippur war to keep kayfabe but wouldn't attack Israel if possible
4. Renounced claim to West Bank in 1988
5. Israel-Jordan peace treaty in 1991
6. Curbed Hamas presence in 1999
They echo a lot of what other Arab states say with regards to Israel/Palestine (two-state solution and whatnot) but out of them all they seem the most cordial. I also think they're the only bordering neighbour to Israel who has kept their original government since Israel appeared on the map.

This is Jordan's desired 2-state solution by the way. Chopping off West Bank and Gaza. No idea if they're meant to be administered by the same government or there's a government for each or what.

 

[Scrumption]

Regarding secular Muslim states, Albania isn’t half bad

 

[A Cardboard Box]

https://www.hrw.org/report/2010/02/01/stateless-again/palestinian-origin-jordanians-deprived-their-nationality

More than half of the 6.3 million population of Jordan is of Palestinian origin-that is, from areas west of the River Jordan, including the West Bank, today's Israel, and Gaza.

It's 50-70 percent depending on how you count it. It's a ticking time bomb for the King

My brother in Christ, Jordan has a population over 11 million, and the number of Jordanian that identify as "Palestinian" has gone down from 3.2 million in 2009 to 2.3 million as of 2024.