Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[AnOminous]

Jack's obsession with the moon landing is peak Boomer entry level conspiratardism. What's even his evidence it never happened besides "you can see the flag move" and thinking it would be hard to get there because he doesn't understand math?

Lmao Ashley Hutsell Jankowski. Is this how you're spending your last days?

 

[Tiresome]

Jack refuses to believe that the lander was equipped with an attached camera that could be activated and controlled from the inside.

Autism ratings, but it was actually activated by a pull string just outside the hatch that unlocked a swing-out panel on the side of the lander and started the camera automatically, pre-positioned to point at the ladder. Honestly all the debunkings and reasoned, documented arguments in the world wouldn't sway Jack even if he HAD any intellectual integrity (or intellect), because for smug boomers like him, oftentimes they like to maintain a permanent belief in this kind of chemtrail/moon landing/JFK truther BS simply because they think it makes them interesting, or a rebel, instead of just a deliberate retard.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

 

[Spasticus Autisticus]

The recipe he copied seems to be AI slop, right down to the photo. I'll at least give him credit for using a real photo of the final product, as shitty as it is. It's just another boring "drown ground beef in its own juices, douse it in seizeneens, wrap it up in carbs even though I'm totally carnivore u guize" video.

 

[Slavic Patronym]

Mama Scalfatty just gave him a bucket of turkey necks and sent him off to his room.

I know the thread has moved on but I just want to say it's so hard to have a one-size-fits-all opinion of Jack Scalfani's mother. On the one hand she hated Jack Scalfani, so she couldn't have been all bad. On the other hand, she helped make him so loathsome. (If we accept the cycle of abuse as a premise, then Connie likely raised her sons how Jack raised his: waving away real bad behavior and bullying them about nonsense, which is how you end up with a societally worthless manchild [see also: Jack, Jr.])

But again, we must credit jerks who hate jerks. Upon death, her grand bequeathment to Jack was a shitty old pasta pot that probably gave him lead poisoning and would not sell for more than $5 at a yard sale. No one does that if they're not trying to say, "I hate you, child, and I wish you poorly. See you in hell."

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

That looks wretched. Why would fatty make so much if it's only for Hammy? After all, he wouldn't eat it because CARNIVORE and we know fatty totally doesn't eat carbs these days

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

Of course Jack would miss the point. The movie isn't a war movie that happens to have journalists in it, it's a movie about journalists during a war. The war isn't the focus, the journos are.

Journalists are scum.

Jack was likely mad that the war wasn’t explained as some esoteric but valiant fight over “muh state’s rights” as opposed to really being about a brutal system of owning people,

Of course he never bothers to ask who owned the plantations, slave auctions and slave ships.


Regarding the moon landing conspiracy, that actually VERY uncommon to believe in the USA. Conversely, it’s very common for Europeans to claim that we never made it to the moon. It’s an odd one for sure where euros usually claim that Americans are dumb to think we got to the moon because of our flag waving patriotism. So you’d think Jack would be bright enough to pick up on this low hanging fruit to punch down on euros who believe this nonsense.

 

[a terminal posture]

He does indeed appears to be moderating comments now. Sad!

 

[Helvítis Túristi]

None of the products jack reviews are interesting. They are all things that reek cheap chinese knock offs. Also, restaurants can't give 100% the same quantity of food every single time even if you 100% dine in. The only real difference between dine in and take out should be plating. What's the name of that phenomena where kids can't recognize that two cups have the same volume despite being different in shape?

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

He does indeed appears to be moderating comments now. Sad!

That’s fine. He just gave us the roadmap for him to read our comments on video. We have to be just subtle enough to outsmart him. Basically dial it back down to Rob Mob mode (c u wooden Kiwi bird wall decor!)

 

[Tiresome]

He does indeed appears to be moderating comments now. Sad!

On the bright side, though, this means he now has to read the comments.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

What's the name of that phenomena where kids can't recognize that two cups have the same volume despite being different in shape?

Retardedness, which Jack sufers from severely

 

[ANF]

On the bright side, though, this means he now has to read the comments.

Like the blind retard can read, half the comments being deleted are probably completely harmless.

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

Gaiz….

Make investments based on if you like the thing a company makes.

Don’t wash organic produce because water makes it stop being organic

Falafel and schwarma are the same thing gaiz, and are Indian cuisine.

Rice is filler and has no taste

Can’t make up his mind on AI, but had lots of opinions

Charles the big brain man with CTO salary and coastal California home is too dumb or broke to have a 220v plug put in to charge his Tesla, so he sits at superchargers for 40 mins (teslas don’t take 40 mins to supercharge lol) a day having an ASMR goonsesh charging (something most Tesla owners do before delivery). Or Jack is just making things up because he hates EV’s.

Jim Scalfani (the one we like) is going to be on F at as in Fat tomorrow

 

[Marc]

Like the blind retard can read, half the comments being deleted are probably completely harmless.

What's funny about the Utoob comments finally being moderated again is that it follows all the whining Jack did demanding Google fix their "broken" site which both allowed people to publish non-ballwashing sentiments under his videos, and somehow made all the presumed, positive comments from his TRUE FANS "invisible." His insistence was out of pure laziness and delusional cope in refusing to either moderate his channels or admit that his audience was exclusively hatewatchers who perceive him accurately.

Now that Jack (or someone in his household) is tasked with screening the posts, the concession that comment moderation is something the content creator is equipped to be explicitly responsible for is almost as much of a narc injury as the knowledge that Jack won't find any of the praise he's looking for unless it's from all the same people making fun of him. That Jack is somehow managing to grow more thin-skinned in addition to managing to grow even more entitled, dumb, lazy, and egregiously rude in what he documents of himself in public means we'll still have reason to pay attention to him.

This cow is always lowering the bar in his limbo contest with himself; and will continue to do so until the next installment of Stroke Wars, or if Tammy (for whatever reason) finally stops subsidizing the humiliation rituals he publishes as escapism.

 

[Dead Air]

Jim Scalfani (the one we like) is going to be on F at as in Fat tomorrow

Ooooo man, that should be entertaining at least. I'm surprised Jack wanted him back on after the ego bruising he got last time.

 

[Slavic Patronym]

Make investments based on if you like the thing a company makes.

Don’t wash organic produce because water makes it stop being organic

Falafel and schwarma are the same thing gaiz, and are Indian cuisine.

Rice is filler and has no taste

Can’t make up his mind on AI, but had lots of opinions

Charles the big brain man with CTO salary and coastal California home is too dumb or broke to have a 220v plug put in to charge his Tesla, so he sits at superchargers for 40 mins a day having an ASMR goonsesh charging (something most Tesla owners do before delivery)

Today's session was absolutely brutal.

Make investments based on if you like the thing a company makes.

I liked the commenter who said this is great advice; that's why they invest in porn.

Don’t wash organic produce because water makes it stop being organic

Jack also claimed today that 90% of all organic food isn't organic. If that's true, then it's generally OK to wash it, right? There would be no state change.

Rice has no taste

Love how he told on himself here, saying rice is "blah" and "underseasoned." No, dude. That means you can't cook and/or have mostly had other people who can't cook make it for you. Probably both.

Charles the big brain man with CTO salary

Who works exclusively from home, by the way! But he started before the scamdemic, so that makes it OK. Charles is the only person in the world whose moral fiber mustn't be called into question because he's a remote worker. But everyone else who does it is a lazy asshole, and they deserve the ire of Jack Scalfani: a walking pustulent sore whose realest job was spinning Flock of Seagulls 40 years ago.

[Charles] sits at superchargers for 40 mins a day

Jack said this was one of the main reasons he won't get an electric vehicle -- he doesn't have time to waste waiting for the car to charge! But 20 minutes earlier, he admitted he saw Bride Hard yesterday because he "had two hours to kill."

Friday was the first day of summer, and it was beautiful basically across the country, and a dying man regretted how much free time he had -- so he chose to see a movie rated eighteen fucking percent on RottenTomatoes. But his personal time is so precious, guys. He cherishes each moment. No time to charge! Only time for shit movie!

Jim Scalfani (the one we like) is going to be in at as in Fat tomorrow

---

Some other things I caught...

1

Jack said he has over 3,000 vinyl records. A minute or so later, he bragged about how if he sold his collection, he'd get 20 grand for it. That would mean his records on average are worth $6.67 each. Uh... neat?

I mean, 20 grand is 20 grand, so if his estimate is right (lol), good for him. But let's be real. That's a lot of shit to hoard in your home (or pay storage fees for) just for each thing to be worth, I don't know, half a tapa? Especially if you were (a) an actual DJ in (b) the golden age of nightclubs?

2

Jack claims that Anne Burrell, the Food Network star who just passed away, actually died from complications from the Covid vaccine. He concludes this because "it took three days" for authorities to release a cause of death. The leading theory is she overdosed, but Jack reasons this is a coverup because she never looked or sounded like a drug addict to him!

3

IHeartLebanon is a longtime, trusted mod for Jack's livestreams, and today they were trolling the absolute SHIT out of him. They wrote, "Jack, would you eat a kiwi off the farm?" and when Jack read the comment out loud, you could see his heart break, Ralph Wiggum-style.

The normal response to that question, if you have no idea what Kiwi Farms is, is probably to say something like, "Is that a euphemism? Are you being literal? Is that how kiwis are grown: on farms? Well, I guess that's how all food is grown, right, so... I guess I would? Wait, what am I missing?" And so on.

But Jack becomes visibly shaken. He looks around himself in stunned silence and rolls his tongue around in his (agape) mouth. And he simply says, "OK." Someone asked another "kiwi fruit" question about two minutes later, and Jack stopped reading it mid-sentence.

IHeartLebanon's days as a mod may now be over. If so, well done, sir or ma'am.

 

[the khat quaffer]

Now that Jack (or someone in his household) is tasked with screening the posts,

Jack making Tammy moderate/filter his comments might be the last straw that makes her snap and roll him into oncoming traffic.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Make investments based on if you like the thing a company makes.

I'm a stock nerd and this is actually technically a good starting point to pick out a stock you like.

However, there's more to it than that. You still wanna make sure the company's financials are good, the company isn't overvalued AND the product makes up a significant part of their revenue. For example, if Microsoft makes a new brand of software, it probably isn't worth putting money into it because the company already pulls in oodles of cash and it would be an insignificant part of their revenue. However, if you try out some random software and it's pretty much all the company makes and they aren't deep in debt or whatever, it's not a bad strategy.

Even the best product ever could be not enough for a company if they have shit management

However, anyone taking advice from fatty on anything other than on how to get a stroke is a retard

 

[the khat quaffer]

Jack said he has over 3,000 vinyl records. A minute or so later, he bragged about how if he sold his collection, he'd get 20 grand for it. That would mean his records on average are worth $6.67 each. Uh... neat?

I mean, 20 grand is 20 grand, so if his estimate is right (lol), good for him. But let's be real. That's a lot of shit to hoard in your home (or pay storage fees for) just for each thing to be worth, I don't know, half a tapa? Especially if you were (a) an actual DJ in (b) the golden age of nightclubs?

He'd probably get more money selling it as firewood.

Jack selling his records reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where Kramer and Newman try to pawn off their old timey records and get literally nothing for them. (Skip to 1:23 if you're in a hurry, I guess.)

Bonus: around the 0:40 mark, George asks Newman "what do you do for a living?" I imagine a real life scenario someone asking Jack that same question and he has to whip up some fancy way of saying "i drool into a microphone 15 minutes a day, every other other day."