Geez, looking at his happy, normal-looking family that has no clue what he is.
Ouch.
Imagine what a person who'd argue and make exceptions for himself this way must have been like to parent. Imagine trying to talk this little asshole into cleaning his room. Or taking a bath.
I feel a sense of profound sadness for his mother -- the one talking about how proud she is of her four grown children. She must still think that her long-haired, shut-in son is just a late bloomer, failure to launch, and he'll soon grow out of it, find a nice girl, and settle down. Maybe she even has some notion that he has had internet relationships.
And now, with this thread at its current point, it's a near-certainty that someone will find her information and contact her to show her this thread. Her pride in raising four children from infancy, all the years of diapers and cutting food into non-choking pieces and parent-teacher conferences and school plays will run face-first into the cold, hard reality:
Her late-blooming son is a stalker with severe mental health issues who has abused women and at least one child. He has contempt for working people, and doesn't want to get a job because he thinks he's above it. He plans to mooch off her for decades while saving any money he does make in a quixotic quest to win the heart of a woman he has never met and who is terrified of him. He has no plans to ever pay rent, or make it right to his mother. To him, she's just a natural resource to be mined and exploited. Every bit of love she poured into him is to be kept there, never reciprocated except in a carnival-mirror grotesque caricature -- love as blackmail, love as desperate ugly bargaining and grand plans with no chance of coming to fruition.
I'm sorry, Doris. This can't be easy. Please, if you need to, speak to a professional, you will need support in the days and weeks to come. It is difficult and shocking to discover a loved one is much unhealthier mentally than you thought, especially since he shows so many signs of becoming a dangerous person.
It's time to cut the cord and make this baby leave the nest. He's using your money to finance a life in which he spends hours a day stalking women. Someday, if you don't kick him out, the police will knock on your door, and they will lead him away in handcuffs. Or an officer will come to your door to tell you he has died or been arrested, and that your house must be raided in order to retrieve his property. When his misdeeds come back to haunt him, you don't want your home or other children involved. If he had to work in order to eat, he'd have a lot less time to obsess over and stalk his victims. He's exploiting you and your money, and all in order to finance activities that border on criminal stalking. Do you want to be the mom the newspaper writes about, who let her son plan out his stalking and eventual violence from a computer screen in her basement?
I know this wasn't the life you had hoped for when your son was a child. But for the sake of all the rest of your family, you have to stop subsidizing him.