Death Stranding - Hideous Kojumbo does it again

[Lone MacReady II]

sex pest man

Hack Fraudman

Swindle McConmann

 

[xXWild_DripXx]

Yellow Slanted-eye Man

 

[Brain Power]

Sponsored by ACRONYM® (I recognize them from Deus Ex: Mankind Divided)


Yes, they sell those jackets in their real life store (but they're sold out now)

 

[dcss]

got my death stranding 2 preorder today, gotta say, I like it! Very fun, I just finished the first giant BT boss fight.

 

[Brain Power]

^ im totally not a shill guise

I keep forgetting I have the original from that Epic store giveaway (sadly didn't manage to get the DC from the glitch). What kind of retarded is it? Fun retarded or boring as shit retarded?

 

[Michael Wade]

The original was just as cringe:

Bullshit that was one of the few moments of the game that was peak kino. I loved seeing two old men beating the shit out of each other on top of a nuclear submarine while the theme music plays. If the whole game was like that it would have been amazing instead of pretentious

 

[Jace on ice]

Here's my guess as to how this shit ends.

Sam stands alone in a grimy bathroom staring at a cracked and streaked mirror. He wipes the mirror and sees his face is covered with white grease paint.

Sam blinks and a red wig and nose appear.

Sam nods solemnly. "Ahh I see, I was Clown Hackman all along."

Sam stares sadly into the camera as a clown horn honks and the screen slowly fades to black along with the words Death Stranding 2 On The Beach.

 

[Snekposter]

man no one here knows what a spoiler tag is

Why the hell would you spoiler a piece of shit like this?

 

[Peep Plops]

Swindle McConmann

Dorito Popeman

 

[ShitLurker]

Dorito Popeman

Ghosted Sadman

 

[Hermiöne Granger]

Dorito Popeman

Never forget!

 

[Peep Plops]

View attachment 7564576

All hail Pope Dorito XVII

 

[Optimus Prime]

The Mad Max director is in this, George Miller.

His name?

Tarman.

Fuck Kojima lol

So we got Hot Coldman. Die Hardman. Deadman. And now Tarman.

I wish he would do a self insert as Gayman or Hackman.

In fairness, Hot Coldman is a stupid ass name but I give that one a pass simply because the guy was a CIA spook using it so nobody knew his real one.

Plus, it's Japan, funny sounding English names tend to be common since the Japanese love their word play. Just look at half the cast of any given Gundam show and they have weird names that are way too on the nose.

It's still fucking hilarious that Rugrats and Metal Gear end the same way ,Bravo kojimbo you truly are the world's best writer.
View attachment 7562366

Ahahaha holy shit

Wow... it's actually far worse than I expected and that's saying a lot.

This guy is the tip of the spear in the industry and all he puts out is superior shit he stole that he molded into generic slop.

Yeah, when you step back and take a hard look, the entire Metal Gear saga is hilariously stupid.

I mean, even by the second game, Ocelot's plan to destroy the Patriots by launching a nuke at the orbital JD satellite seems sensible...until you get to the part where it hinges on convincing the five AIs controlling the world that ghosts exist...without ever actually involving the part where ghosts actually fucking exist in the setting (up to and including the original intention that The Sorrow was Ocelot's father to bullshit 'oh his dad was a spirit medium so that's how Liquid Snake's arm can possess him' before it got walked back in MGS4 to 'oh no wait the dude just hypnotized himself to believe that shit)'.

Or, how the entire purpose of MGSV Phantom Pain was to introduce a fourth Snake clone; Venomous, simply to explain how the hell you can kill Big Boss in the original Metal Gear who then pops up alive at the end of MGS4 (only to basically die immediately after anyway lol), because 'he faked his death' wasn't good enough for Kojima.

 

[Chapalapachapa]

hope konami continues with metal gear after delta, a non retarded link between 3, the msx games and solid would be badass. i want to play as evil big boss goddamit

 

[Gravityqueen4life]

So why is Kojima a imperialist globalist shill all of the sudden?

 

[Jace on ice]

So why is Kojima a imperialist globalist shill all of the sudden?

Hollywood, dudes always been an absolutely massive starfucker.

 

[Miller]

So why is Kojima a imperialist globalist shill all of the sudden?

He has spent too much time with the nepo baby whose parents own IMAX Keighley.

 

[Brain Power]

wat

 

[Wesker]

wat

"Critically acclaimed."

I've really had my fill of this retarded industry and it's retarded customer base. Everyone joins hands to praise this gay dreck every couple years because this homosexual had his name attached to Metal Gear twenty fucking years ago.

So why is Kojima a imperialist globalist shill all of the sudden?

How many games did he suck Che Guevara's dick? He's been an out commie for several years now.

 

[FieldPiece]

Question,

Why does Sam need to trudge long ass distances with all this shit on his back on foot if BRIDGES has a huge ass mecha cargo ship that can instantaneously teleport anywhere?

I'm guessing it's rule of cool and Hideous either didn't think about it or didn't care because it's movie shit, fuck you.

Why do a group of literal superhumans have a women whose only talent is knowing basic Judo in their ranks?

Why do gay waterwalking tango dancing vampires exist?

Why does a worldwide conspiracy that already controls the world and has total infortmation control care about making supersoldiers when they have megadeath authonamous killing machines?

Why do they use supernatural people to transport cargo instead of trains with rock shelters since apparently rocks don't errode with timefall?

The answer is the same for all questions. Kojima is the very definition of an idea guy. He comes up with interesting ideas then shoehorns them in with literally no thought. He's Neil Breen but with the self awareness to claim the retardation is intentional but the dishonesty to claim it's all planned and he's a genius.