Grace Lavery / Joseph Lavery & Daniel M. Lavery / Mallory Ortberg - "Straight with extra steps" couple trooning out to avoid "dwindling into mere heterosexuality"

[monstrous bubo]

Tard Baby has gone digging through her xeets to resurface this classic fantasy from last November.


link

Feeling a bit insecure when seeing Joe with Lily, eh?

 

[Anasa Tristis]

Feeling a bit insecure when seeing Joe with Lily, eh?

Joe, Lala and Rocco. Babies change everything. Babies (still) bind. Even the most liberated and progressive power throuple isn't exempt from that.

 

[mold]

This is the kind of thing that she should be writing and if she had good editors and an actual culture around her the books would be good. There's a thread going on in A&H right now about how men don't read full of men saying yes we do, we just read older stuff because we don't want to read Jane Austen. But nobody is publishing any young Jane Austens right now either, or even young Anita Brookners since Jane Austens only come around rarely. I wish we could have the Ortberg books that could have been. Maybe it's not too late. It would be a great thing for literature if Lily and Joe dumped her fat ass.

 

[Stupid Sexy Flanders]

I'll never understand why people keep believing that Mall is some great untapped talent if it wasn't for dastardly Joe.

 

[Bookwork]

OooooooMuhhhhhhGAWD.

"plus I got a job please clap"

She's gonna be a nurse's aide, just like Virgo Rouge: "next month I’ll begin CNA training at a California senior care center. I’m very much looking forward to it."

'I think this kind of work is interesting, worthwhile, meaningful, and am very excited to have a day job on the horizon again, especially one that involves walking around and chatting. I love a chat; I dearly love a pop-in; I love to say “Can I get ya something?”'

This goes back to her giving up seats on transit to old ladies who are then grateful to the handsome, courtly lumberjack. They haven't told her about bathing old men and wiping asses yet, I guess.

She also announces in the new Chatner (here | Archive Today) that the Toast has been mirrored as an archive (here).

 

[Kerry Benton]

OooooooMuhhhhhhGAWD.
View attachment 7567191
"plus I got a job please clap"

She's gonna be a nurse's aide, just like Virgo Rouge: "next month I’ll begin CNA training at a California senior care center. I’m very much looking forward to it."
View attachment 7567222
'I think this kind of work is interesting, worthwhile, meaningful, and am very excited to have a day job on the horizon again, especially one that involves walking around and chatting. I love a chat; I dearly love a pop-in; I love to say “Can I get ya something?”'

This goes back to her giving up seats on transit to old ladies who are then grateful to the handsome, courtly lumberjack. They haven't told her about bathing old men and wiping asses yet, I guess.

She also announces in the new Chatner (here | Archive Today) that the Toast has been mirrored as an archive (here)

Unironically, good for her! Glad she’s gonna get out of the house and interact with normies.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

Unironically, good for her! Glad she’s gonna get out of the house and interact with normies.

And yet how horrible for the olds she will be "caregiver" to.

 

[Potatis Salad]

OooooooMuhhhhhhGAWD.
View attachment 7567191
"plus I got a job please clap"

She's gonna be a nurse's aide, just like Virgo Rouge: "next month I’ll begin CNA training at a California senior care center. I’m very much looking forward to it."
View attachment 7567222
'I think this kind of work is interesting, worthwhile, meaningful, and am very excited to have a day job on the horizon again, especially one that involves walking around and chatting. I love a chat; I dearly love a pop-in; I love to say “Can I get ya something?”'

This goes back to her giving up seats on transit to old ladies who are then grateful to the handsome, courtly lumberjack. They haven't told her about bathing old men and wiping asses yet, I guess.

She also announces in the new Chatner (here | Archive Today) that the Toast has been mirrored as an archive (here)

Oh my GOD. Does Tard Baby understand what this job is???? I know she's never gonna waltz into a professorship, but I can't wrap my mind around her being so unemployable that she's entering a training program for cleaning up adult diaper blowouts. BLEAK.

Can we figure out what she blacked out? Looks like an "r" at the end. Stillwater Post Acute fits but it's in San Diego.

EDIT: Got it. Has to be Rossmoor Post Acute in Walnut Creek, CA. The verbiage of the job posting (archive) matches exactly. It's a mere 90 minutes on three buses from the UC Berkeley campus.


From the job posting:

What You Will Do as a CNA-In-Training:

1. Attending classes as scheduled and maintaining minimum passing grades on all assignments and exams

2. Demonstrate skills learned in the classroom during hands-on training, which may consist of changing bed linens, assisting patients with meals, attending to patient hygiene needs and accurately completing all required documentation in the electronic medical record

If she gets on full time, at least she'll have benefits:

What we offer to our full time employees:.

• Paid Time Off
• Insurance Benefits (Medical, Dental, Vision and various supplemental plans)
• 401K plan
• Employee Assistance Program (EAP)
• Advancement Opportunities

It wouldn't surprise me if this type of facility likes to keep employees just under the full-time hours limit to avoid giving them benefits.

 

[OttoWest]

Can we figure out what she blacked out? Looks like an "r" at the end. Stillwater Post Acute fits but it's in San Diego.

Concord Post Acute in Concord?

I know little of the Bay Area so no idea how feasible it is a commute from Berkeley.

 

[mold]

I'll never understand why people keep believing that Mall is some great untapped talent if it wasn't for dastardly Joe.

she is a good writer. publishing has been so easy for her that she's published a high proportion of crap. she's never had a good editor. but she's a talented writer, that's why Joe took her out.

in other news Mallory will be the only white person working that job, this is going to be amazing

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

Unironically, good for her! Glad she’s gonna get out of the house and interact with normies.

She definitely needs some real world interaction and immersion after the last five years. I think it will be good for her.

Maybe she will learn Spanish because, esp in CA, CNA’s ranks are dominated by Latin and South Americans. She will be a real minority as a white “man” among mostly Latino women.

Mallory’s willingness to take on jobs other cows would view as “beneath them” is one of her positive attributes imho.

She also seems to be a person that really likes the elderly. The erasure of age in American society is creepy to me. Old people don’t help sell or market shit so they may as well not exist. Maybe this is Mallory’s way of subverting a norm. Most 30 somethings don’t like to hang out with old people, or help care for them, or write books about them, but Mallory will be doing all three.

(I think working with old ppl might be a way for Mallory to find a comfort she enjoyed during her childhood, when people were polite, chatty and earnestly nice to each other without pretension. No pressure socializing and acceptance- the polar opposite of her current milieu. She probably misses her grandma too.)

 

[Aunt Carol]

It wouldn't surprise me if this type of facility likes to keep employees just under the full-time hours limit to avoid giving them benefits.

Probably not, actually. Post-acute, SNF and LTC facilities want to keep reliable employees, and are aware that if they're not the family's sole provider, a lot of them are working for their family's health insurance while their baby daddy/daddies do gig work or construction.

It's not going to be roses and clover, but California is the best state to be anywhere on the Nursing career ladder, as far as enforcement of staffing laws.

It's still backbreaking and there will be poop, but a post-acute care facility implies a lot of not-that-old people rehabbing knees, hips and shoulders.

Those people could consent and were thought to be good risks for surgery, so while there will still be dementia and incontinence (and it takes longer to metabolize anesthesia in your Golden Years), this isn't going to be a wing full of sweetly dotty grannies for Mal to help with their cardigans. She's going to be taking care of the Karen Generation, and they crave customer service. They all do, all of them at once.

Once you get your CNA you can go anywhere, though. I agree with everyone about Mal doing great at a memory care.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

She has a BA, surely she has at least a few credits of prereqs knocked out for a BSN, why not become an actual nurse and pull a respectable wage, if she's going back to school?

This is the kind of school they move in next to the TANF office so welfare mamas can qualify for payments and hopefully get off the dole for good.

 

[Aunt Carol]

She has a BA, surely she has at least a few credits of prereqs knocked out for a BSN, why not become an actual nurse and pull a respectable wage, if she's going back to school?

Shh, let her figure that out on her own. She's not even out of the house and around normal people yet.

This is the kind of school they move in next to the TANF office so welfare mamas can qualify for payments and hopefully get off the dole for good.

Again not exactly: this is the in-house CNA program for that specific post-acute rehab.

The listing said your training time is paid: it wasn't specified further but that means that if you don't work for them for <6 months/a year> you have to pay back the "cost" of your CNA program. They're banking on loyalty and/or inertia to keep their program graduates at the facility after they pass that milestone.

Spoiler: math

In California, a CNA instructor only needs an active LPN or RN license and two years of nursing experience. California CNA class is 60 hours classroom, 100 hours clinical. If everything goes well you can use one nurse to churn out a class of graduate NAs every month, but usually an in-facility program goes for 4-6 cohorts a year.

 

[Bookwork]

why not become an actual nurse and pull a respectable wage

Those darn science classes cum instead of settling into a fey pastiche, I guess.

Plus all the computer work RNs do in some mysterious way might be harder than setting up a web page. Worse, it would cut into the moments for just popping in to ask, "Can I getcha sumptin?" with the longed-for grateful praise upon delivery of juice.

She's surely hoping to relive sweet moments she had as a grandchild, yes. She may get some. But will the Karens be way too much like Mom? (Did Mom say, "I feel sorry for you," during Mal's Joe-orchestrated attack on her fam?)

I def give her props for (a) seeking employment, (b) moving beyond Joe's pretentions, (c) taking a job that helps people as opposed to selling them meme coin, and (d) being kind of humble about it all.

For her book festival appearances, either scheduling will be flexible or she'll switch to the agency-brokered fill-in assignments at nursing homes or private homes. That's where homeless Virgo Rouge functions since she can neither tolerate nor survive supervision. Mal, in contrast, will crave bosses' head pats and be alert to averting potential frowns. Props for that, too.

 

[Autistic Nonetheless]

I've not read her books but I'm badly allergic to Mall's cutesy blog like essayistic style.
While 2quirky4me yes, she does have that one voice absolutely nailed down so that most people dont mind the cringe. Meanwhile In Please Miss Joe tried to one up her by switching between 10 different voices and it all still read like his usual wank just occasionally sporting a different hat.

Perhaps unrelated but a friend of mine teaching at Berkeley tells me that English departments everywhere are cutting down on the gender stuff as a liability. So perhaps betting the farm Joe's teaching in not the best idea.

 

[ShmeedlesMcGee]

Tard Baby has gone digging through her xeets to resurface this classic fantasy from last November.

View attachment 7565374
link

Feeling a bit insecure when seeing Joe with Lily, eh?

>Norma Desmond
Lmao. This is a fictional character.
No one can make her happy/sane because she never existed in the first place.
Figures someone who enjoys playing pretend would make such a retarded statement.
And, of course, Mx. Chunky Poon Poon is the hero swooping in to save all these misunderstood miscreants of fiction and history.

 

[Stupid Sexy Flanders]

While 2quirky4me yes, she does have that one voice absolutely nailed down so that most people dont mind the cringe.

Eh, she had an audience locked in over a decade ago, but she never evolved from that and even devolved. Those born in the mid-80s chicks who also did the Livejournal/Tumblr quirky girl shit have moved on. Meanwhile, Mall has picked up a lot of Joe's worst habits in her writing judging from excerpts of Women's Hotel.

That's not to mention how unmarketable she is as "Daniel M. Lavery".

 

[Bookwork]

>Norma Desmond
Lmao. This is a fictional character.
No one can make her happy/sane because she never existed in the first place.
Figures someone who enjoys playing pretend would make such a retarded statement.
And, of course, Mx. Chunky Poon Poon is the hero swooping in to save all these misunderstood miscreants of fiction and history.

Autist that I am, I scrolled back 8 months of her Twitter feed looking for some context for that tweet because... wut? Was it snark or a self-reveal? Zero context.

It's her "my tactics" list that interests me: "dark mirroring, the creation of small-scale problems to keep her mentally active & enrich her environment, emotional lockstep."

Her comments about her efforts to get Joe interested in her came to mind. She admitted to some dark mirroring in that. They did end up in emotional lockstep it would seem. Did she create small-scale problems for him to keep him engaging with her until they were engaged?

Her nice to old ladies on transit routine also seems to be a dab of dark mirroring. Look at how nice I am, I am giving you what you want, so like me, show me you like me, show me. It's not about being considerate of others. It's about mining them for emotional gratification.

But maybe with that tweet she was just mocking someone and not knowingly revealing herself to be a self-congratulating manipulator who, unfortunately for her, locked onto another manipulator.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

It's her "my tactics" list that interests me: "dark mirroring, the creation of small-scale problems to keep her mentally active & enrich her environment, emotional lockstep."

She’s an unimaginative, one size fits all gal if so. I’m not sure why she thinks these techniques would work on both an obese, horny autocrat with a painful festering leg and a faded, vain but fictional movie star desperate for attention.

Norma would throw Mallory out as soon as she realized she was some weird simulacra of a man. Henry would have just had the pube beard witch pilloried or hung for annoying him with small scale problems. Henry preferred making big, dramatic problems.

Joe seems like a never famous, never beautiful Norma Desmond type personality, but Mallory is no William Holden.