Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 18 1.3%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.4%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.7%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 3.2%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 18.5%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 197 14.2%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 792 56.9%

  • Total voters
    1,392
I wanna say one of the problems I have with jack is his presentation. Let's look at him vs another channel making the exact same food:

Note: Skip the first 2 minutes. Take my word for it that it's some gay advert for crappy razors.


See how much more Oliver fits into the same kind of time frame? Jack doesn't even actually make the pork roast in this video, he wastes another 8 minutes of your life on another video doing it.

To be honest though, I don't think he did too bad with the pork. For once it didn't look either dry or raw.
 
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It shows, too.

Actually, he cooks like someone who hasn't even cooked as much as he's actually been seen cooking on video alone, because he never learns fucking anything from his mistakes. He's still serving raw chicken dripping bright red blood.

I got bloody chicken at a barbecue once and knew not to eat it.

I was 12.

I expect Jack thinks "rare chicken" is some kind of delicacy.
 

Chef John makes Clotted Cream.

I almost want to send this video to Jack and tell him that he could probably do the same! Because I hate myself and I want to see what horrible abomination he'll make.

Knowing based Jack, he'll probably use spoilt mayonnaise, sour cream, his pastor's semen and congealed kraft singles in his attempt

That ween shit aside, I think his cooking has improved, when I'm bored and I want to watch some dumb shit on youtube I find Jack's earlier videos have the most amount of under-cooked chicken dumbfuckery.
 
Eh, it's more like pulled beef than anything else, but the sandwich seems pretty fair if you ignore how it is not a cheese steak; about the biggest sin he does is he put too much onion and seasoning in his meat in my opinion.

He didn't quite use the right meat for the job, as a good cheese steak often uses rib eye or top-round instead of chuck, but it'd probably do fine if you can't be arsed to pay extra. He also completely fucks up the cooking method, since you're supposed to cut the meat into cardboard sized slices or so rather than whatever the fuck he did here. Then you fry it in a skillet with oils and salt and pepper, which is why it's a favorite of mine; quick as fuck to cook, and tasty as fuck to boot. You then add in your cheese right when it's about done or heat up cheez-wiz if you're into that thing, and assemble the sandwich on some nice long Italian rolls.
 
here's jack losing his mind in a parking lot review of burger king

oh jack, when will you ever learn

lmao he gets so pissed. I can't believe he returned it. But at the end he eats another burger anyway.

Also, when he spits the bubble gum out of the window it made think "what a douche".

Of course he had to talk with his mouth full of burger. Classic Jack.


lol at that moment
jack.png
 
Any time someone complains about fast food not looking appetizing I think of this shit.


Of course it's not gonna be like 8 inches thick dude it's a fucking Burger King burger. Everything is frozen and piecemeal, they use the same shit for everything. Your steak burger is gonna be the same burger as a regular one they just put steak sauce on there with mayonnaise. That's how chains fucking work. Even the fucking replacement, you can tell they put like, the core of the lettuce on there to make it look 8 inches tall cause they knew the big fat guy would be satisfied even if it was the same thing just bigger so it looked like it was more.
 
Watch him fill a tube with his own saliva.


Calabrese means you're from Calabria, you dumbass!

Anyway, soon we will find out if Jack's 100% italian or not :story:

I don't think there's a person alive today that is 100% one nationality, I'd love if it came back with like 25% or something though.

I'm more interested to see what health conditions the test flags up, 23andme apparently has some tests to measure genetic weight and his saturated fat levels, and at this point he's probably more saturated fat than man
 
Holy hell this one was a doozy


He tries a $1 3.5oz "Ribeye" from DOLLAR TREE, it's barely a half an inch to a quarter of an inch thick, still undercooks the shit out of it and then calls it "decent"

my head exploded when he cut it in half and it was still raw, as well as all the completely uncooked fat. How do you NOT cook a quarter inch thick "steak" on a flat iron?
 
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