Official Kiwi Farms 'Dubai Chocolate' Hate Thread - This thread can also serve as a hub for other Instagramslop food

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I tried some in France during a business trip at the airport (it was from Lindt, so I'm not sure if there's some offical Dubai muslim brand). It wasn't bad but I don't get the rush of retards pretending this is best sweet invented. As others said I'm sure this is the UAE goverment trying their best to shill this and get their country associated with something else besides paying Romanian women found on Instagram to eat their shit and fuck camels.
 
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Caligura said:
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When you don't manufacture steel or tires or computer chips this is what your economy becomes.

cheap chinese trinkets and grossly overpriced palm oil with high fructose corn syrup bearing a resemblance to chocolate propagated downstream through 15 second vertical videos that stimulate the basal ganglia of a mixed race consumer class who work meaningless jobs to be able to afford said chinese trinkets and shitty processed food item
 
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I have never seen Dubai Chocolate or Labubu's before (not a thing where I live thankfully) and I feel like I should have kept it that way.
Yuck. No thank you. Chocolate and pistachios could be a nice combination but not at those prices.
 
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So a friend gifted me a bar of this and I tried it. I found it very greasy and oily, almost like baklava. In fact it just made me wish I was eating baklava instead.

I don't really care about the fact people only care about this because it's some kind of social media trend. Dumb trends happen all the time. What I dislike is calling it "Dubai chocolate", as if it's some kind of traditional cultural cuisine with a storied history. It's not. This is its history:
Fix Dessert Chocolatier was created by Sarah Hamouda in 2021, who, inspired by her pregnancy cravings, began creating chocolate bars containing unusual fillings. Hamouda, who is British-Egyptian, had been "based" in Dubai since around 2015.[3]Other sources credit her partner Chef Nouel Catis Omamalin as the creator of the now-famous chocolate bar.[4]Dubai chocolate gained popularity as manufacturers were facing high costs in producing cocoa and pistachio products. Due to the product's composition, manufacturing Dubai chocolate allowed them to keep costs down. Dubai was viewed as a trendy location among young people, particularly with social media influencers.[2]
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So some Egyptian "social media influencer" created it while she was living in Dubai four years ago. That's not exactly UNESCO Intangible Cultural Heritage. The superficiality is what irks me.
 
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Trader Joesbros... it's over...
 
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REGENDarySumanai said:
It looks like something you would see in a baby's diaper.
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The thing is that "dubai porta potty" is already a well known slang term for a woman who's paid to get shit on by depraved wealthy sand people. So to me "dubai chocolate" is already fighting an uphill battle without looking kind of like feces too.
 
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Never had one before but pistachios tend to be pretty hit or miss, don't they? They taste good, then you pop one more in your mouth and it tastes like egg fart. It's like a Bean Boozle challenge but with green nuts. Do these chocolates suffer from the same fate?
 
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The concept of a pistachio paste filled chocolate sounds great. But Dubai of course has to ruin it.

A bunch of the time the bars are way too big, there is too much pistachio past for the amount of chocolate. There is also the fact that you can tell a lot of these are using obviously fake pistachio paste from the radioactive green and texture (real pistachio paste is a pale green/brown mix not bright green, same way real pistachio ice cream is just light green and brown but fake one is bright green). And of course because it has the BRAND on it they overcharge the fuck out of it.

Dubai is the absolute epitome of nouveau riche, or as some of you might know ghetto rich or nigger rich. They have all this oil money but absolutely no taste or concept of how to spend it. It's why they do shit like putting gold leaf on everything, like the fucking peasants they are thinking it looks fancy. It's why their building projects all look like shit and are all built just to sound impressive while making the city look like shit.
 
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Agamemnon Busmalis said:
Nothing better than crops grown by slaves made into mediocre chocolate also made by slaves. There must be some reason for this astrofurfing and it has nothing to do with the shitty candy itself.

The UAE is one of the worst, most exploitative slaver nations on the planet. Fuck them.
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The UAE is fantastic, near zero taxes and virtually zero crime unless you're a dumb cunt who agrees to eat literal shit in exchange for a few debased shekels and a couple of """""""""""""luxury""""""""""""" purses. I don't think I could ever go back to paying for the upkeep of subhumans, it's just not right.
 
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The Punished Mitch said:
The UAE is fantastic, near zero taxes and virtually zero crime unless you're a dumb cunt who agrees to eat literal shit in exchange for a few debased shekels and a couple of """""""""""""luxury""""""""""""" purses. I don't think I could ever go back to paying for the upkeep of subhumans, it's just not right.
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Enjoy poop trucks, Dubai child.
 
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I mean I liked it when I had it at an ice cream parlor, but I wasn’t paying and I wouldn’t pay that much for that chocolate tbh.
 
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